Halfway Gone
by JazzSpazzCullen
Summary: Alice finds the relationship with her high school sweetie has started dead ending. But when life's priorities turn she leaves. Jasper considers himself in a rut, he just didn't know how bad it was til she left. But a secret will change it all. M 4 l8er Ch
1. Circle of Fear

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of Twilight or its affiliates just my obsession with it.**

If you want to save her

Than first you have to save yourself

If you want to free her from the hurt

Don't do it with your pain

If you want to see her smile again

Don't show her you're afraid

Because your circle of fear is the same

_Circle of Fear - HIM_

Alice POV

I found my job at the discount tobacco store dull to say the least. I spent eight hours a day standing behind a counter selling people their brand of cancer, and I did it with a smile on my face. It seemed the only somewhat decent thing going on in my life was the devilishly handsome man I went home to every night.

I had been dating Jasper Hale since my sophomore year in high school, but now I was 25, working a minimum wage job and living in a small one bedroom apartment. It seemed unfair that my two older brothers Edward and Emmett were happily married; buying houses and starting their lives with their brides, though I'd never admit it to anyone but myself. Edward and Bella-who has been one of my best friends my whole life-were way ahead in the game; they had bought a house just before their one year wedding anniversary and had given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Renesmee about six months ago.

Emmett and Rosalie were in the market for a new place and had been married for a little over three years and it was surprising that Rose wasn't the first one to end up pregnant seeing as how she and Emmett's relationship tended to run closer to the PDA side and was very physical for many years now.

Don't get me wrong I was happy for them all, and I adored being an aunt to Renesmee, but I also envied them. I knew Jasper loved me I just didn't know why we hadn't moved forward in our relationship in the last few years. We weren't married but our lives were routine like a married couples and I desperately wanted a change. It wasn't children I was really looking for- it was marriage, for Jasper to propose. I wanted to know that he was planning on spending forever with me and I was beginning to wonder if I would ever get it.

"Alice?" My boss called out to me.

I looked up from the counter I had propped myself over.

"Yeah?"

"You can head out if you want, I still have at least a hour left here and I might as well just close up too. Go start your weekend early." She smiled.

"Ok, if you're sure." That was an extra two hours.

"I'm sure, have fun." She smiled at me before disappearing back into the store room.

It didn't matter to me if I left early, it was Friday night and Rosalie and Emmett had invited Jasper and me out to dinner after my shift. So now I had the proper time to get ready to go out versus only having time to change out of the hideous uniform. I didn't mind going out with Rose and Em but I just knew tonight was going to be another punch in the face. It was every time we went out lately, they weren't acting any different they just happened to have something I wanted too. They were happily married high school sweethearts-like Edward and Bella-and I was just kinda happily dating my high school sweetheart…still.

The half hour drive home was routine and I was starting to hate it as much as the actual job that required me to take it. I would have taken a different way but it was the quickest and better on my gas tank.

My phone started ringing and I noticed it was Bella but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood to talk right now; I wanted to wallow in my depression a bit while I still could.

I ordinarily wouldn't have heard it because I always had my radio too loud, Jasper hated it when he got in my little beat up Volkswagen Bug and the volume would make him jump out of his skin. He always plugged his ears until I turned it back down and told me I was going to be deaf by the time I was forty.

He had been mad at Emmett ever since he ripped out the lousy radio I had and installed the Bose Stereo equipped with an iPod jack and the surround sound speakers to match for my birthday two years ago. He also promised me when my car died he'd take it out and put it in my new one, making Jasper even more mad. I decided to turn it back up when I pulled into the parking lot and I left it like that just in case we took my car tonight. It would piss him off a little bit.

As I walked up the stairway to our apartment I started to feel sick to my stomach, I had been feeling nauseated all day-even after I'd thrown up when I first got to work. Laura-my boss- had seen me run to the bathroom and I wondered if that's why she let me leave early. I always toughed it out at work when I was sick, I loved to shop so I needed any extra money I could get so I was able to feed my addiction a bit.

The worst of the nausea had passed and I unlocked the door locking it again behind me-we didn't live in the greatest part of the neighborhood so it was best to always keep it locked-then I was right back to same old routine called my life. It was starting to suck a little.

Jasper POV

I had gotten home from work around 5 o'clock and decided to take a shower before Alice came home. We were going out to dinner with Emmett and Rosalie and I knew as soon as she got home she would take over the bathroom to get ready. If it wasn't so small I could have done it around her but she always complained that I steamed up the mirrors and her hair was being ruined by all the moisture. Alice and I had been together for the last 10 years so I was accustom to all of her quirks but I'd known her since I was 2 and didn't remember a life without her in it. I loved her with all my heart but I also thought that since we'd known each other so long a few things that happened with most couples kinda went out the door and I felt bad because of it. I secretly knew Alice was unhappy but I didn't want to accept it.

Sex had recently become slightly absent from our life, in fact it had been about six weeks since we even bothered. Most nights I was tired from work and lately a little depressed but she was too, so we'd eat dinner then watch TV in bed before falling asleep. The last few nights I hadn't slept much so I spent my time watching her sleep; she looked most at peace then.

I was just turning the shower off when I heard her come in.

"Hey, I'm home." She said with a small smile on her face as she stood in the bathroom doorway.

"Early too, sorry it's a little fogged up in here." I grabbed a towel off the rack wrapping it around myself still dripping wet.

"Laura said she would close up. Did you use all the hot water again?" She pouted.

I was well known for stealing all the water, which with the complex we lived in, it wasn't hard to do. I walked over and grabbed her in a bear hug getting her uniform wet and kissed the side of her head. I had told myself I would start to make a conscious effort to be a bit happier around her because her being sad made it worse for me and I didn't want to really be the reason for her unhappiness if I could help it.

"Stop, you're wreaking my uniform." She whined so I placed her back on her feet. "So is all the water gone?" She asked again.

"It might be." I teased, she wasn't really looking that mad about it. "But I'll get out of your way so you can do your thing." I walked down the small hall to our room but didn't expect to see her following me. She plopped down on our bed and let out a big sigh. I sat down next to her. "What's wrong baby?" I asked as I lightly gripped her knee.

"Oh, it's nothing, just been feeling a little under the weather today." She didn't really convince me that was all that was on her mind but I didn't press it.

"If you don't feel up to going out tonight we can just stay in." I really didn't care one way or the other if we went out, Rose and Em were a handful sober, but drunk they were a disaster.

"No, you know your sister; if we don't go we'll never hear the end of it." She replied patting the top of my hand on her knee before sitting back up leaning against my shoulder.

"You're right, I'm glad I didn't get any of those genes."

"Yes, we all know you're so glad." She mocked. "Well I'm gonna go start getting ready." She said kissing my cheek before getting off the bed.

"You go do that; I'll see you in about two hours." I joked.

She turned around and gave me a playful dirty look.

"Hey, it takes a lot to look this good." She gestured to her figure.

"Alice, you always look that good you have been beautiful as far back as I can remember."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." It was all she said as she went back into the bathroom. That's how she always replied when I spoke of her beauty.

Maybe it was because I basically preached about it to her, she never saw her self that way without doing her hair and make-up. I thought she looked stunning without doing either. She had grown her hair out from a short pixie cut to long locks that ran halfway down her back and untamed they made her look incredibly sexy.

I could never keep my hands to myself when she lounged around the house in a pair of old sweatpants and ratty t-shirt, no make-up and her hair out of its usual ponytail, if we were going out she'd wear it down but it was never natural looking. She didn't understand how beautiful that was to me, and she was beautiful all dolled up too, it didn't matter what she did was always perfect to me.

I started to dry off and continued getting dressed, it took all of ten minutes and I was ready to go. Alice had only just then turned the shower on.

It was fast approaching 7 o'clock and Alice still hadn't emerged from the bathroom. The baseball game I started watching after getting dressed was almost done too.

"Alice, we're gonna be late if you don't hurry up!" I yelled from the couch.

She opened the door and came out in a towel with her face all done up and her hair in perfect place.

"Ok, I just have to get dressed and I'll be ready to go." Before I could say anything else she disappeared to what I was sure would be her over stuffed closet.

It was a miracle she was only in there another fifteen minutes before she told me she was ready.

"You look gorgeous." And she really did, part of me didn't understand how I could be so miserable lately with a person like Alice around.

"Thank you." She said clearly satisfied with my answer now.

I got off the couch and grabbed the car keys letting her lead the way.

"So where are we going, Griggs again?" I asked as we got in my jeep, she looked a little bummed when we did for some reason.

"No they said to meet them at that Italian place on West River." She replied checking her reflection in the visor mirror quickly as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"Not the bar?" That was different, usually the four of us ended up staying out until closing time.

"I guess not, Rose just said they had something to tell us. They probably finally found a house and want to rub it in a little." She looked out the window when she spoke the last part.

_I guess that's one thing that bothers her._

When we got there I saw Emmett's big truck in the parking lot and began to worry we'd be considered late but really didn't care, my sister was hard to please. I walked over to Alice's side of the car and opened the door for her. She looked a little surprised and after thinking about it for minute I realized I hadn't done this for her a while. And the funny thing was I always use to; I didn't know why I stopped. Maybe it was one of those couple things that I was suppose to do but didn't.

_I have to work on that._

When we walked into the restaurant Emmett threw one of his huge arms in the air to flag us down. I placed my hand on Alice's back and started pushing her toward the table.

"You're late." Rosalie directed to me before anyone could even have the chance to say hi. I didn't know why she always thought it was my fault.

"You do realize who I live with right?" I asked her, she just gave me a dirty look and turned to Alice.

"You look amazing, as always." Rosalie told Alice before getting up to hug her. I just ignored it and slid into the booth to sit across from Emmett.

"Thank you, and I must say there's something…glowy or something going on about you." Alice responded waving her hand at Rosalie's frame.

"Maybe." Was all she said before sitting back down and Alice followed suit.

"Hey man how's it going?" I asked Emmett who gave me a big grin in return.

"I'm doing good man, how bout you?" He replied.

"Can't really complain I guess." I didn't really sound convincing even to myself. "So why'd we meet here it's a far cry from Griggs."

"Because tonight we are celebrating." Rosalie answered me.

"Ok, so wouldn't a _bar _be the place to do that?" I asked really confused.

"Not with this celebration. Tonight we are celebrating the fact that-" She paused for dramatic effect, it was so Rose. "I'm pregnant!" She almost squealed. "And I haven't even gotten to the best part. I'm having triplets!" Now she really did squeal.

_Oh my god, three? Holy shit, three? How is someone that small gonna fit three?_

"Jasper, hello, are you there?" Rosalie asked waving a hand in front of my face.

"Congratulations Rose, I'm really happy for you guys, really." I quickly snapped out of it and smiled a sincere smile. I was really happy for Rosalie, being a mom was something she always wanted and she was finally getting it.

"Oh my god, triplets, Rosalie, we have _so _much shopping to do." Alice bounced up and down as she took Rosalie's hands in her own.

"And it's like such perfect timing; we just closed on this four bedroom house the day before I found out." Rosalie couldn't stop smiling.

"How far along are you?" Alice asked really intrigued.

"12 weeks."

"Congrats man, going to be a dad…three times." I turned to Emmett.

"I know it's like three times more stressful too." He smiled. It seemed weird to me that someone would find stress a good thing but I think Emmett did.

"Dude, that gives you three chances to screw the kids up." I leaned in speaking a little softer.

"Don't remind me." He now looked like he might vomit.

I wasn't really envying Emmett right now, becoming a dad to _one _baby would be hard enough but _three,_ all at once and without any practice? No, I did not envy Emmett, I felt sorry for the poor bastard.

I looked over at Alice and she looked just as happy as Rosalie did. I certainly hoped she didn't want any kids. We'd never once spoke about it but I seriously didn't want any in my future. My own life was in despair I didn't need to fuck someone else up and have them turn around and blame me for it when they grew up.

The rest of the evening consisted of mostly small talk, Alice and Rose talked about the babies while me and Emmett discussed the latest baseball games. When we had dinner and I made it my business to have a congratulatory beer with him. God only knew this evening could not be done while fully sober. Alice wrapped things up with making plans to go shopping with Rosalie sometime next week and I had told Emmett I'd come over to their new house and watch a game or two with him.

"Oh and we are planning on having a house warming party about a week after we move in. I'll call you with all the details and you know I'm gonna need your help decorating so we need to schedule a time for that kinda shopping too." Rosalie was ranting on to Alice as we walked out of the restaurant.

"Or we could do baby shopping and party shopping in one day, just have to start early. Well obviously not _all _the shopping, baby shopping requires multiple trips oh I can't wait!" Alice was ecstatic, and now I was really hoped it was only because of the shopping potential and nothing else.

"Ok, I'll call you tomorrow, plus I'm sure your mom will want in on it too." Rosalie said before hugging Alice goodbye.

"Totally." Alice replied.

"Emmett, congratulations again really man I'm happy for you." I smiled and gave him a manly hug. Emmett was as much my brother as Rosalie was my sister so I tried to look happy.

"Thanks man, hey not only am I gonna be a dad but you're gonna be an uncle again." He was still smiling as wide as he could.

"I look forward to it." I said before turning to Rose.

"I'm so happy for you Rose." I said to her as I held her tight for a minute. All of my sister's wishes were coming true. My only wish was that I could be as certain about things as she was.

"Ok, we'll see you guys later." Alice said after she gave Emmett a hug.

"I'll call you!" Rosalie called from down the sidewalk to Alice.

The start of the drive home was quiet but it didn't last to long.

"Jasper." Alice asked staring out at the highway. "Do you ever think about the future?"

"What do you mean?" I asked a bit nervous it was headed in a bad direction.

"Like getting married having kids and stuff." She finally turned to look at me with a curious look on her face. I kept looking back at her as many times as I could without driving off the road.

"I don't know, not really I guess? I mean kids don't sound much like me. Does that bother you?" I asked worried about the answer I would get.

"No, I never really thought about kids anyway so outside of shopping-which I'm getting vicariously through Rosalie and Bella- I don't think I'm missing anything. But to be honest I thought we'd be married by now." She looked back out the window like what she was saying was nothing big to her.

"So its marriage you want?" I asked.

"I didn't say that." She shot back.

"What are you saying? Help me out here Alice cause I don't get it." I knew I sounded a little agitated and I was.

"I'm just saying a few years ago I thought we would be married by now, but we're not and that's ok I guess. Marriage is not something I'm oppose to or anything so don't think that."

I didn't know what to say to that as we pulled off the highway. Alice stared out the window I continued to remain silent.

All the sudden Alice was fidgeting in her seat a bit with a horrified look on her face.

"Jazz, pull over I don't feel so good." She said hitting my arm a few times. I complied and she threw the door open sticking her head outside and vomiting her recent chicken marsala dinner. After a few minutes she leaned back against the seat looking a little pale.

"You ok sweetie?" I asked concerned, my agitation gone.

"Yeah, just like I said, I'm feeling a little under the weather." I looked at her and she looked really tired now and like she really didn't feel good. Maybe she was telling me the truth earlier. "I'm good, we can go now." She said closing her eyes, and I pulled back out onto the road.

Somewhere in the twenty minutes it took to get home she had fallen asleep. I would have carried her but the stairwell to our apartment was very narrow.

"Alice, we're home baby." I shook her lightly.

"Oh, sorry I guess I'm pretty tired." She said taking a minute to fully wake up. She got out of the car and we walked up to the building. "I can't believe Rose is pregnant, I'm so happy for her." She told me sounding tired still as we reached our door. I opened it and allowed her to go in first.

"Yeah she seems really excited about it." I kicked my shoes off on the rug next to about ten pairs of woman's shoes and followed behind her down the hall to our room.

Alice continued to chat about the coming babies while we dressed for bed.

"I hope she gets at least one girl, Rose needs one to take shopping-to teach shopping." She ranted as she climbed in our bed next to me.

"We can only hope, or else I think she'll force Emmett for another one." I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her toward me breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"You make her out to be such a villain sometimes." She giggled.

"We are talking about the same woman aren't we; I mean you do remember who we grew up with don't you?"

"She knows what she wants, that's not a bad thing." She said closing her eyes, she was still tired and I had been up _way _too long so it was hard to feel a little more relaxed.

"Jazz?" She said quietly.

"Yeah." I whispered through her hair.

"I love you." She cooed before yawning.

"I love you too Al." I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would find me tonight…and it did.


	2. Rinse

She must rinse this away

She can't hold him this way

She must rinse this all away

She can't love him this way

_Rinse – Vanessa Carlton_

Alice POV

A week after me and Jasper found out Rosalie was pregnant she and I started some light baby shopping. We decided to make a girls morning and lunch of it, Rosalie was still early in her first trimester but the doctor had already mentioned the possibility of complications and only one or two of the babies surviving. Apparently Rosalie didn't have the best uterus, so this was like a one in a thousand deal.

She had been telling me this all morning as we went from store to store looking at styles and color schemes and I started to worry for her a bit.

"Did the doctor say anything else?" I asked only because she didn't seem upset at what she had already said.

"Yeah, he also told me I might be on bed rest early, I already told your mom and so we're thinking we should try to get most of the shopping done quickly while I can still go." She smiled and grabbed another onesie. "What do you think of this one?" She looked at me holding it up.

Rosalie and Jasper's parents retired early to Texas where it was warmer and much sunnier the Forks, Washington so she had become closer with my mom and started doing more shopping and planning then they had before. The three of us had done it quite often already so they really went nuts now.

All six of us had gone to high school in Forks-where my parents still lived-when we graduated we pulled our money together and started renting a three bedroom house in Port Angeles. But as some finished college, bought houses, and got married, others like me…didn't.

It was part of the reason we lived in such a small place in such a bad part of town, though we didn't talk about it much with others we knew they felt bad for us. My mom had offered us money for a better place which we respectfully declined. We didn't need much we had each other and it made it all worth it.

_Yeah, if I could go back in time I'd bitch slap myself, but this isn't about me right not._

I decided I couldn't take it anymore; she had to be hiding behind a façade, there was no way she wasn't completely panicked about this. She was ranting on about something but I wasn't really listening eventually I cut her off because I had to know.

"Rosalie, aren't you worried about any of this stuff the doctor is telling you?"

She put the onesie down. "I'm terrified Alice." She said quickly and seriously. "But stress can make it worse, so I've chosen not to think about it and I'd appreciate it if we didn't talk about it like that." She wasn't going to break it seemed. "I can talk about it, but not in that context." She added.

I could respect that, the fact that this might be your only chance to get pregnant was heavy to say the least, but being over shadowed by the fact that you might come out empty handed was worse. So why worry about it more then you have too right?

"So, yes or no on this one?" She held the onesie up again.

"It's cute, add it to the pile." If Rose was holding it together then I defiantly had to. If I really wanted to talk about it I always had my mom and maybe Jasper, but since it was his sister he probably wouldn't be able to say a lot, the whole situation would bother him to much. I wondered if he even knew or if Rose expected me to tell him. Maybe Emmett was going to do it?

_Fuck._

"Did you tell Jasper?" I had to ask.

"No, I haven't, I know he'll panic about it so I've kinda been putting it off." She wrinkled her face. "I know I'm a horrible twin."

"Don't worry about it, I'll tell him for you." I said it like it wasn't a big deal, I knew she wanted it that way, and I'd make sure Jazz knew that too.

"Really, cause I don't think I can handle it right now, Em's already trying his best and isn't doing well." She looked grateful.

"Yes, I'll make sure his phone and keys are hidden until he calms down." I laughed a little to cheer her up and she did.

Jasper was very protective of Rosalie and her feelings, it must have been a twin thing, he would worry more then she did about everything. He was the same with me…or at least he had been in the past.

"Thank you so much, I don't know why he acts like that."

"You two shared a womb, it's gotta be a whole bonding thing." It was what I had concluded it all to. "You'll see when those three get old enough to tell you." I pointed to her still flat tummy.

"Hey, maybe when you and Jasper have kids you'll have twins too it could be some genetic thing." Rosalie smiled at her theory.

I tried not to frown when she said that but the smile had already left my face.

"Yeah, I don't think that will be happening…Jasper's made it clear he doesn't want kids." I pulled it together a little; Rose had known me long enough to know that it stung a little deep down.

"Are you ok with that?" She stood next to me and leaned over one of the clothes racks.

"Yeah, I am, I never really had that urge to be a mom before and I don't think I'll develop one in the future."

"You never did want to be the mom when we played house growing up. Neither did Bella now look at her, she's the happiest I've ever known her to be, so you never know." She let that sink in for a minute before changing the mood. "But now it's my turn and I'm getting three!" She made it sound like a war victory.

"What do you say we go pay for these and head out to lunch?" I asked picking up the small pile we had made on the floor.

"Sounds good, I'm really starving."

"Do you get strange cravings?" We started walking toward the counter both are arms full of merchandise.

"No, but I smell everything, I even hid Emmett's cologne it smells so bad."

"Wait aren't you the one who picks them out?" I knew this was true.

"Yes, but now it's like a cheap knock off or something, also I can't stand the smell of fettuccini, and I love fettuccini!" Now she was just whining because she could. "The morning sickness isn't so pleasant either."

"What's that like?" I asked curious.

"For one thing, it isn't just the mornings; it can last all day, be gone one morning, and back the next. My nose is the most sensitive when I feel crappy."

It was our turn at the register and we set the articles on the table.

"Someone's having a baby." The clerk smiled.

Rose was all over it.

"Yes, I am, I'm actually having triplets." She was beaming.

"Oh you will have your hands full then won't you?"

It was kinda funny the way Rose described her morning sickness it sounded a lot like how I was feeling lately.

I started thinking about when me and Jasper had sex last, but stopped before I really could count all the days it had been a while.

"No way." I realized too late I had said it out loud.

"Did you say something?" Rose asked me.

"What, oh, I was just thinking out loud." I brushed it off. Sex was so absent, it had been well over a month.

_Except that one night we were drunk. Oh, the irony if it were true._

"Your total will be $231.84." The clerk told Rose. She just handed a credit card over like what she was spending was nothing.

_Duh, Alice, it is nothing to her, Rose makes close to $100,000 a year, not to mention Emmett's hefty income._

"So where do you want to go for lunch?" I asked to get my mind off of money issues, among other stupid things.

Jasper POV

I skipped my morning run the following Saturday, Alice had still been feeling sick on and off all week long and I thought maybe she had the flu it was getting closer to winter.

She had left early that morning to go baby shopping with Rose and I was glad today she didn't feel sick, she been worried about the whole week.

I thought about calling Emmett and seeing what he was up to but I knew I'd just get dragged over there and not come home 'til about 2 AM. So I decided I would be content with the current alone time I had.

I surfed through the On-Demand and found an old movie I liked growing up and turned it on before laying down on the couch.

Shortly after the movie started I feel asleep. Alice woke me up when she opened the door shortly after one. I was still groggy when I sat up.

"Hey, were you asleep?" She asked setting a few bags down on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, I guess so, you and Rose have fun?" I asked when I got up and pecked her on the cheek before opening the fridge and grabbing a beer.

"It was alright." She was fiddling with my car keys as she sat down at the bar in our tiny kitchen.

"Just alright, are you not feeling good again? Because I can't understand how shopping could just be 'alright' otherwise." I popped the tin can open and took a swig.

"No, the shopping part was fun; just a few of the conversations were a little unnerving. Can I see your phone for a sec?" She asked changing the subject quickly. I took it out of my pocket and set it on the countertop. She snatched it up and held it in her hands.

"What did you guys talk about?" I wondered what could have been said that had frazzled her. They were baby shopping, wasn't that suppose to be like heaven for women?

"It looks like Rose is going to be in for a rough road."

I didn't like the sound of that.

"What do you mean?"

"She found out from the doctor a few days ago that complications will probably arise, she might even lose one or more of the babies. I guess the guy said she was lucky to get pregnant in the first place."

Alice was trying to act like it was no big deal, which she wasn't doing a very good job at and to me it was serious.

"So what are they going to do?" I was worried for my sister and her unborn children; I knew it would crush Rose if she lost even one baby.

"They said early bed rest, extra check ups, and tests throughout the pregnancy stuff along that line. She has also chosen not to speak of it in a negative way. The added stress could make everything worse."

"In other words she's staying in denial?" It was typical Rose, facing only what she felt like facing.

"Yes, and I promised her that I could convince you to do the same, can I?" She asked placing my phone and car keys she in her lap.

"So that's why you took my phone?"

"I'll give it back it you can behave." She sounded like a mother to a child.

"I can play nice, I promise, I can do it for my sisters sake and my unborn nieces or nephews." I assured her, I could do it for Rose and the babies, but not for me.

She hesitated before pushing the items in her hands back to my side of the bar.

"How kind of you." I smiled putting the cell back in my pocket.

"I know how you are." She did too.

My every instinct was to call Rose up and find out how she was doing, and if she needed anything. Make sure Emmett was taking care of her. I would be her brother.

"But seriously if you want to talk about it with her you can't sound sad or worried, it bugs her."

"I'll do my best." I couldn't promise anything more. "How's Emmett taking all of this?" I wondered.

"From the sounds of it not as well as Rose would like; he can't hide it. Maybe you should call him and see if he needs to talk."

"Yeah, I'll call him tomorrow see what's up." I told her looking down at my beer. Like all my shit wasn't heavy enough now I knew I was dedicating at least the next six months worrying about my sisters too.

"You ok?" She wondered.

"I'm fine." I tried to play off. "I'm just worried bout Rose, that's all, she deserves to be a mom more then anything…and I pray that she gets it."

I had never been a man of god, but who knew maybe there was some big guy watching shit up there. If this went south I defiantly would have an opinion about its existence though. Rosalie deserved this, and I'd damn _anything _that stood in her way.

"Me too." She said before getting off the bar stool. "Well I'm going to go put the stuff away."

"What'd you get?" I was trying to get my mind off Rosalie so I asked.

"Nothing really, a new deep conditioner, toothpaste, things like that." She made it sound lame, and it was.

"No clothes?"

"No money." She replied before vanishing behind the wall, I heard the bathroom door close and thought it a little strange, Alice rarely shut the door all the way. But I pushed it to the back of my mind before returning to the couch and rewinding the movie I started earlier.

A few minutes later Alice practically zombie-walked out of the bathroom and I noticed a blank expression on her face.

"Something wrong?" Sure as hell seemed like there was.

"No, I just…I…forgot a few things I still needed to get. So I'm going to go do that right now." She said all the sudden in a big hurry to get out of the house. Something was up. "I'll be back in a little bit ok." She said reaching for the door after grabbing her purse and keys from the table.

"Alice." I got up a bit concerned.

She turned around and looked at me.

"I'm fine, I just need to get…tampons, I started my period and I only have one left. Not really something I can go without."

"Ok, ok, you don't really have to go on." Her reason for being in a hurry now was valid to me. "I'll see you in a little bit." I was relieved it was only a small thing.

"Yep." She ran out the door before I even had a chance to tell her I loved her. I so didn't get her sometimes.

Alice POV

After I finished with Rose I decided to humor myself and stopped at a drug store for a pregnancy test among the other things I grabbed while trying to inch closer to the feminine hygiene aisle. When I finally had the courage to grab one I quickly went to the register before I could change my mind. I knew I was just wasting ten bucks but oh well.

I broke the news to Jasper about Rosalie and I took it better then she gave him credit for, but I was also prepared. I had acquired his phone and keys preventing him from overacting and I was sure it was for the best.

"Well I'm going to go put the stuff away." I asked wanting desperately to find a reason to excuse myself.

"What'd you get?" He asked as I grabbed the bags from the table.

"Nothing really, a new deep conditioner, toothpaste, things like that." I hoped I sounded convincing.

"No clothes?"

"No money." I responded quickly making my way to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and locked it as quietly as I could.

Thankfully the Big Gulp I drank on the way home had shot right through me so I really had to pee. This was the first pregnancy test I had ever taken in my life. Never once did I have a scare…until now

_You won't be calling this a scare when it comes out negative._

I put the stick on the edge of the tube to stop myself from looking at it too soon.

_God this is the slowest three minutes of my life._

The time was up. It was time to prove I was right, and I wasn't pregnant. I grabbed the stick like I had had some kind of vision showing me it was negative.

But I was wrong.

_Positive. _

I don't think an asteroid could have made my world come crashing down more. What was I going to do? I didn't know how to be a mother, and Jasper didn't want to be a father. I couldn't afford to have a baby.

_Why now, why me?_

I had to destroy the evidence; I couldn't get caught with this thing 'til I was ready. I through the test in the trash along with the box and tied it up to take out to the dumpster.

My mind was running over so many things at once I didn't even realize I had left the bathroom 'til Jasper was looking at me.

"Something wrong?" He looked worried.

"No, I just…I forgot a few things I still needed to get." I pulled it together a little. "So I'm going to go do that right now." But I suddenly felt like I was suffocating and I remembered the bag I held in my hand, the proof. "I'll be back in a bit ok." I almost made it out the door.

"Alice."

I turned to look at him knowing what I'd see; Jasper knew something was wrong, so I had to give him a reason.

"I'm fine; I just need to get…tampons. I started my period and I only have one left. Not really something I can go without." The topic of menstruations was too much information for him, so I knew he's let it go if I started one.

"Ok, ok, you really don't have to go on."

_Yahtzee._

"I'll see you in a little bit."

"Yep." And I was out the door.

I threw the bag in the large dumpster thankful I didn't have to worry about that anymore, but I had much bigger things on my minds now. Like how I was going to raise a child, and how Jasper was going to react. It hurt to think of the fact that he didn't want kids.

I decided to go to the park down by the water it was nice and quiet there and I found it was always easy to think about tough or bad things there too. Now I was adding this one to the list: thinking about life changing things.

I sat on a bench by a playground for about an hour before I had finally made up my mind. I knew what I had to do, I knew the road I would have to take eventually and I was coming to the fork I had to go left or right. Yes I knew what I had to do.


	3. Impossible

Tell them all I know now,

Shout it from the rooftops

Write it on the skyline

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell then what I hoped

Would be impossible

_Impossible - Shontelle_

**4 Weeks Later**

Alice POV

I had found out I was pregnant just over four weeks, and after sitting in the park I came to the conclusion that I had to leave Jasper…and that's just what I did.

The following Monday after he left for work that morning I packed up my things emptied my bank account and left for Seattle. It wasn't my original plan, I never intended to leave Port Angeles, until I saw Jessica Stanley-a girl we went to school with- who I hadn't seen in years, she stopped her run to say hi and we chatted for a little bit. I still remembered that day.

"_Alice?"_

_I looked up and saw the familiar face that had called my name._

"_Jessica." I surprised it was her, last I knew she had moved from Forks to Seattle for college. What was she doing in Port Angeles?_

"_Oh my god, I haven't seen you since like senior year. What have you like been up to?" Jessica always had a bubbly personality growing up and in the seven years since we parted she hadn't changed much._

"_Not a whole lot really, what about you, I heard you moved to Seattle for school?" I really didn't want to talk about me and my problems at the moment. _

"_I did, I graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in fashion design a few years ago, my fiancée is from Port Angeles, we're here to put the last finishing touches on our wedding." She told me as she sat down on the bench._

Great, yet another person I know who's getting married.

"_You're getting married?" I tried to look happy for her._

"_Yeah, in a few months, are you and Jasper still together?" She pried._

_That stung a bit._

"_Um…yeah, we are, we have an apartment not too far away." I didn't know what else to say._

"_That's nice; did you two ever get married?" She was trying to glace at my empty ring finger and I unconsciously covered it up._

"_No, not yet, it's just not the right time, our jobs can be demanding." I lied._

"_What do you do?" Jessica loved gossip, so I knew whatever I said would get around to other people I knew back in Forks._

"_I'm an assistant manager for a tobacco store. It's nothing stellar and the pay is lousy but I work all the time, it makes it easier to get by." That wasn't a lie, but at least I could say we had jobs, the economy was a disaster._

"_Oh, that sounds nice." She said trying to be polite. "I guess I just always thought you would do party planning or be like a personal shopper or something."_

"_Believe me I'd love to do any of those things." Those jobs sounded appealing to me; I did love to shop and Jessica knew it._

"_You know, I know this woman in Seattle, her name is Michelle Patterson, her family is super rich. They're part of Seattle's old money clan. Anyway I design a lot of her dresses for formal parties and I heard she was looking for a personal shopper." Jessica sounded really excited. "The money would be unbelievable and you'd get to touch a lot of designer things." She tapped my shoulder with her hand like she was hinting something. "If you want I could call her and put in a good word for you. You'd have to relocate to the big city, but it would be worth it. Is Jasper really grounded in his job?"_

_Suddenly everything Jessica was saying sounded like the greatest ideas in the world. It was what I needed to start a new life, start somewhere different…to start over. I was feeling hope._

"_I think I can figure it out, do you really think she'll hire me?" I didn't want to get my hopes too high just in case._

_Jessica smiled and grabbed her phone out of her pocket._

"_Let's see." She dialed a number then placed the phone to her ear. After a few moments of silence she began speaking again. "Michelle, its Jessica. Hey are you still looking for a personal shopper?"_

That hour I spent on that bench had been one of the best things to happen to me since I found out I was pregnant. Now I was making roughly $120 an hour-after taxes-and I worked 50 to 60 hours a week. My job was very demanding but the things I got to do were worth it.

Michelle-my new employer- didn't have much fashion sense on her own; she required people like me and Jessica to do it for her. So I got to go to all the expensive stores and pick things out, and I would bring them all to her 2.5 million dollar estate for her to try on. Of course I had never bought something she wouldn't look good in. And there were a few perks; Michelle had money to throw away, so she rarely wore the same thing twice, and gave them to me, I was close to her size…for now.

I still hadn't told her about the baby, and as much as I tried to convince myself it wouldn't interfere, I knew eventually it would. I didn't know what I was going to do if she was upset. I was counting on this job to support us.

I hadn't even told Jessica, who let me stay with her and her fiancée for a couple weeks until I got my first paycheck. After that I started renting a two bedroom apartment, and still had money left over. I finally caved in and started to buy a few baby things here and there too, I still wanted to keep them hidden in case someone came looking for me.

I had left in a big hurry. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, I just went. I changed my phone number and left my mom a voicemail from a blocked number telling her I was ok, I just had to leave and figure some stuff out for a while, and that I would call when I was ready to talk.

I knew she would understand and respect my wishes but that didn't mean everyone else would too, and I couldn't face them if they found out about the baby that way. They would never let me forget.

I was almost to my doctor's office for a check up when my phone starting ringing. Based on what the phone sang to me I knew it was Michelle.

"Hey Michelle, what's up?" I answered.

"Oh Alice, wait until you hear what I have to tell you." Michele told me in a high pitched tone.

"What's that?"

"I'm getting married! And I want your help with the planning."

I smiled and I knew she could hear it in my voice too. "Oh course I will, we need to call Jessica so she can start working on a design for the dress." I was in total planning mode. I had helped Rosalie plan her wedding and I practically put Bella's together for her, putting a wedding together was so much fun to do.

"I already called her she's going to bring over some samples tomorrow, but that's not the biggest problem." She told me.

"There _is _a problem?" I thought it was a little early for a problem to arise.

"I want to have the wedding in five weeks." She said it like it was possible.

"Five weeks?" I wanted to make sure I heard her right.

"Yes, it won't be that hard, that's what money is for." She laughed at her own statement. "I'll hire enough people to get it done, you just need to manage it all."

"Ok." I didn't know how else to answer it. I had over a year to work on Rose and Bella's plus they were family not my employer.

"Perfect, so I'll see you around 11:30 tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah."

"Kay, I'll talk to you more then. Bye." She quickly hung up.

I put the phone back in my purse and got out of my car. I tried to wrap my mind around what just happened, why would Michelle want it done in five weeks? I had a feeling I was getting myself into rich people drama, but I didn't care at the moment. I was going to see my baby today, outside I appeared calm, but I was ecstatic on the inside.

I found after I got my new job, left Jasper, and the despair of him not wanting to be a father had passed I started enjoying the fact that I was going to be a mom. I was now bonding with my flat belly; I would talk to the baby like it was a person standing in front of me instead of something around the size of a shrimp-at least that's what the book said- inside me. Rosalie and Bella had been right, becoming a mom was going to be the greatest thing in my life, but part of me still missed Jazz.

Jasper POV

Eighty-three days had passed since the day I came home from work and found all of Alice's things were gone. I called Rose to see if she had heard from her, along with her mom and nobody had. I didn't sleep for the next three nights, that was when Esme-her mom- had told me she got a message from Alice saying that she was ok, but had to leave and she was sorry. After I found that out I became best friends with the whiskey bottle and stopped falling asleep and started passing out.

I couldn't afford the apartment by myself and moved out and into the apartment above Emmett and Rosalie's garage. I humored Rose for a few nights and went into the house for dinner but it didn't last long. I couldn't bring myself to be by anyone, I slowly began to push my friends and family away.

I saw the hurt on Rosalie's face everyday not just about the fact that Alice ditched her when she needed her most, but also because of what the whole situation was doing to me. I never said anything though; Rose's doctor had told her no undue stress.

Rosalie was in her 24th week, she and Emmett had an appointment yesterday and so far the ultrasound looked good for all the babies, the doctor still drilled it into their heads that things could go wrong. Rose continued to stay in denial. They also found out they were having one boy and one girl, but baby two was hidden so it was still a mystery.

I gave up on physical appearances after it sank in that Alice wasn't coming back. I quit shaving and now had a small beard growing, I spaced out at work all the time because it was the only time I spent some what sober and if I could think then I could think about Alice. Needless to say as soon as I got home at night I had a bottle in my hand, I went to bed that way and I got up that way.

Today was one of the rare days I drifted inside, it was only because I didn't have any more coffee and I needed it for work. I was sitting at the island with a cup when Rosalie-who had begun to waddle a bit-walked in the kitchen. She stopped a little surprised to see me, but continued to the fridge.

"You really should shave you know, it looks terrible." She said grabbing the orange juice. It was Rose being Rose always criticizing people.

"I don't care enough to shave it." I said emotionless staring at my coffee.

"What does your job think of it?" She obviously didn't get my message.

"That hell hole doesn't really spark my interest either." I added.

"Then find something that does!" She slammed the juice on the counter top. "Honestly Jasper, I don't know how much more I can take." She tried to hide tears on her eyes.

"I don't know what to do Rose." I admitted. "I can't even remember a life without her in it so." I got up from the stool and grabbed my cup. "I'm sorry." Was all I said before I left the house and headed for work.

When I got home Emmett was sitting on the stairs that lead up to the apartment.

"Hey." I said, I didn't know what to.

"Jazz, we need to talk." He sounded serious, it was rare that he did.

"What's going on?" I leaned against the hood of the jeep.

"Look man, I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now, but you gotta snap out of it. Rose can't take anymore. It's really stressing her out, if you could just pretend to have a little grasp on things I think it would help." He had stood up now and by the way he held himself he looked tired. "Just shave the beard and try not to smell like whiskey at 9 o'clock in the morning, do it for Rose." He started to walk away when I hadn't relpied.

"I miss her Emmett." I confessed looking at the pavement. He turned around to face me again.

"I do too, trust me if I knew where she was I would be calling her, and I'd tell you. You're as much my brother as Alice is my sister. So everything I just said applies to be too, everyone is worried about you dude. I know I would be the same way if it were Rose, but I really don't want to be mad at you if something happens to her or my babies because of this shit. So can you just try to do it...for them if anything."

It hurt to think about it. "Yeah, I can do that." I made it sound like a final statement. I didn't want to be the cause of my sisters pregnancy turning bad.

"If you ever need to talk, you know where I'm at." He said before heading back to the house.

I let out a big sigh and went up to my apartment. Emmett was right, I needed to pull it together for Rosalie, but I only had to do that when she was around, so I'd stay way most of the time.

I grabbed the bottle taking a large swig and walked to the bathroom. I figured if I was going to shave, better to do it sober. I wouldn't really miss my beard; Rosalie had been right it was bad.

Even thought I could see my face now, I still didn't recognize the person in the mirror. If you asked me three months ago I would have said it couldn't be me. I had dark circles under my eyes and my hair was a mess. Practically everything was replaced with whiskey, most days I didn't eat; the alcohol would kick in quicker that way, and I would barely talk to anyone. If you asked me I would have told you Jasper Hale was dead.

I took my bottle with me back out to the couch and turned the TV on. I started watching one of those teen drama shows but it didn't have my attention long. I began thinking about Alice and tried to figure out why she left and where she might have gone.

All of her family lived here or in Forks, so who would she have stayed with?

My train of thought was interrupted by headlights pulling in the driveway. Everyone was already home so I got up to see.

It was Edward and Bella with Renesmee. I watched them for moment before Edward saw me and waved.

_Great. Well I guess if I'm doing it for Rosalie I might as well do it all._

I regrettably put ,my whiskey down and left the house.

"Hey Jazz." Edward said when I came down the stairs, as soon as Bella saw me she hurried into the house with Nessie, it was odd of her not to at least say hi.

"Hi man, I didn't expect to see you guys here." I faked a smile.

"Yeah, um we were just coming back from Angela and Ben's engagement party, they live here now."

Angela and Ben had been friends of Bella and Alice's in school. I never talked to them much, which seemed fine by them they were both shy anyway.

"Bella said there was something she just had to tell Rosalie right away. I don't have a fucking clue what it is she wouldn't tell me." I realized Edward had gotten out of the passenger side of the Volvo and was wobbling a little.

"Have a little fun there did ya?"

He couldn't hold back a laugh. "Yes I did, I'm sure there will be hell to pay later."

"Was it worth it?" I wondered.

"Fuck yeah." Edward was a lot like Emmett in many ways. They both loved to party and drink too much. They also liked a little weed now and then, so did I.

"Why don't we go get you some water." I told him and we both headed for the house.

It took a few more minutes then normal because Edward kept tripping over nothing. He never could hold his booze very well. I came in second next Emmett, now a days I maybe could beat him, but I wouldn't test it.

"No, she said she didn't want him to know. Promise me you won't say anything Rose." Bella was whispering in the kitchen.

I dropped Edward on the couch next to Emmett who was playing a video game and preceded to the kitchen quietly.

"Why would Alice even go there? What's there that isn't here?" Rosalie whispered back.

I had stopped near the dining room to listen, when they said Alice's name I became really interested.

"I don't know she just said she was fine and someday she'd explain it all." Bella added. "I should go find Edward, he's trashed." I heard Bella get up from the bar and I quickly headed back to the couch and picked up a controller.

Emmett looked at me and smiled. "Nice to see you again Grizzly Man."

"Shut up." I joked. "Are you ready to get your ass kicked?"

"Dude you couldn't beat me then, and you can't beat me now."

"I've been practicing." I found I was able to smile a little.

"It's true he has." Edward said before he started laughing. "I went over to his and Alice's one day and she said he played non stop for two days after that night you beat him."

The smiles all three of us were wearing suddenly disappeared, what he said had now become the white elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I've been drinking man and I didn't think." He tried apologizing.

"Don't worry about it Edward, it's not like I'm not going to break."

"Could have fooled me." Emmett said under his breath but I let it go.

Rosalie and Bella had finally made their way to us while they chatted about nothing important.

Bella was trying her best not to look at me but wasn't doing well, she was always a bad actress.

"Hey Rose, I'm going to go make Renesmee a bottle, will you watch her for a sec? Since my husband can't do it!" She looked in Edwards direction.

"I love you too baby." He said without looking at her.

"Yeah, go ahead." She took the baby from Bella and sat down.

_Now is your chance._

I purposely lost the game I had started so I could follow Bella.

"See I told you man, you can't beat me!" Emmett was basking in his victory.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, I'll be back in a minute." I set the controller down and went into the kitchen.

Bella had the faucet on so she didn't hear me come up behind her.

"Hello, Bella." I said a little flat, I couldn't decide if I was mad at her for not telling me where Alice was so I didn't have much emotion going on.

She jumped a little. "Jasper, you scared me." She held her hand to her chest before looking down at the bottle. "How have you been?" I could tell by the way she was speaking that she was hiding something.

"I know you know Bella."

"What are you talking about?" She tried to play it off.

"You know where Alice is."

"No, I don't." She said very quickly.

"Bella. Please?" I decided to try the sympathy card.

"She asked me not to, as her friend." She was caving.

"And I'm asking you as a friend to tell me. You know I deserve to know Bella."

She just looked at me for a minute, her facial expressions changing rapidly.

"She's in Seattle." She let out a giant sigh knowing she would regret saying this later. "She's working as a wedding planner at Christophe and Company."

I put my hands on her shoulders and ducked down to look her in the eyes.

"Thank you." There was a sound of relief in my voice and it made her feel a better I think.

"You so owe me for this." She replied and I couldn't help but smile a little.

I was finally going to get my reason why. I was nervous about seeing her but she owed me this at least weather she liked it or not.


	4. Halfway Gone

**A/N: ok so I know it's taken me longer then usual to get this chaper out but I had this new idea pop in my head that wouldn't go away. It's called _Love & Waves_ and the first chapter is up. Back to this story I had a gerneral idea where I wanted this chapter to go but it had a lot of gaps if it seems like there still are I'm sorry and I'll go over it again I always do and maybe this time I'll post it. Enjoy!**

Alice POV

Michelle's wedding had luckily gone off without a hitch. It turned out to be a shot gun wedding, though Seattle's rich and famous would never hear about it in that context. As far as society knew Michelle Patterson had been planning a wedding for over six months. I had told her about the baby and it became something we bonded over while we put everything together. It hurt at times because I knew I was suppose to be doing this with Rosalie but I couldn't go back now.

When it was all said and done Michelle had told me she didn't be the one responsible for hiding away my natural talent. Two weeks ago she sent me to an address in the heart of the city and told me to ask for Rachael Christophe. I didn't know I was going to a wedding planners office until I got there. I was hired on the spot and had my first account a week later.

I had my own office granted there was windows for walls but I liked having my own little space to myself. It made it easy to get work done, and today I had a ton of it.

"Alice, Eric needs help again, please before he starts to cry." Another planner asked sticking her head in the doorway.

"I'll be out there in one minute." I replied without even looking up from the seating chart in front of me.

Poor Eric-one of the many gay planners we had-had a typical bridezilla on his hands, she kept changing everything and the date was getting closer and closer. Eric had already had a couple of meltdowns over it, he was very sensitive.

The planner who came and got me had been right, Eric looked like he was about to stroke out.

"Oh, Alice, thank god, I can't do it anymore, she is the devil, she is the devil in Prada. She want's to see me suffer!" He was being overly dramatic to say the least.

"What had she done now?" I asked with a smile on my face, what ever problem Eric was having I was positive was actually a small one, he just was too stressed out by it.

"The seating chart, now she wants the tables coordinated by which side they're on, the brides or the grooms. The guest list is over 200, how am I going to get that done?"

"Cynthia, has all that info, so I'll give it to her and she'll have it done by the end of the day."

"You are an angel." He said as he gave me a hug.

"Walk with me Eric." I said turning back around and heading for the desk near the reception area. "Cynthia, will you make sure the guest list is updated to the brides wants for Eric please?" I asked the short girl who sat there.

"Sure." She said a little too chipper.

"See Eric you just have to-" I stopped talking when I looked past Eric and saw him standing there. Jasper.

Jasper POV

I left the main house without saying goodbye to anyone after Bella told me where to find Alice. I hadn't really drank much so I decided instead of waiting until morning I'd drive out to Seattle tonight and get a hotel. This also didn't give Rosalie a chance to try and stop me if Bella told her about it.

I felt anxious the whole ride there and contemplated what I would say to Alice when I saw her. I definitely wanted to know why she left without a word, I knew I hadn't been perfect but I didn't think I deserved that. I wondered what her answers would be and prepared myself for all options as best as I could.

The thought that there was someone else was the hardest to grasp. It didn't seem likely to me; I had know Alice her whole life and I could tell when she was hiding something, I never really got that feeling from her when she left.

That Sunday she seemed a little stressed but at the time I didn't think anything of it, or maybe I didn't want to.

I checked myself into a hotel and when I got to my room I immediately took out my laptop and searched for the business Alice was working for. Turns out there wasn't a lot of places named Christophe & Company, and only one wedding planner. I wrote down the quickest route from the hotel and closed the computer. I had gotten the key to the mini bar but I knew I would regret it if I used it, and chances were I'd still be able to walk when I finished with it but not well enough to leave and get more from a store.

_Tonight's as good as any night to quit if you want her back Jazz. A girl like Alice doesn't want a drunk for a boyfriend. But wait, that's right she wants a husband, maybe that's it, maybe she left because she wants to get married. Why the hell didn't you just proposed you idiot?_

I looked ahead to the theoretical future and if I could get Alice back, I thought I could see her being my wife. I've loved her for so long, and I never could imagine finding someone better.

I still remembered the first day I knew I loved her. We were in the fifth grade, she sat right next to me and by some miracle our teacher hadn't switched our seats yet seeing as how we were always talking. I looked over at her and she was just staring off into space, and something just clicked. I felt drawn to her like nothing before. I hadn't really expressed any interest in girls at that time in my life other then Alice and my sister but I knew I loved her more than any other girl would ever meet. It would only take me another five years to get up the nerve to ask her on a date. So how is it that I could just be expected to let her go if she ever left? I couldn't, others had even told me they didn't think they could either. But apparently unless they were the ones doing the wallowing it was unacceptable but I didn't care anymore.

I went to sleep that night sober for the first time in over 12 weeks, and even though it shouldn't have it felt a little peaceful.

I found the tall building that Alice worked in with ease, but not without traffic. So instead of getting there at 9 o'clock like I wanted, I got there closer to 10.

I took the elevator to the 22nd floor and when the doors opened people were running everywhere like there was a fire. I sluggishly made my way to the large reception desk feeling put of place among a mob of women sitting in the waiting area.

"Excuse me?" I asked the girl behind the desk.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you, are you looking for your fiancee?" She smiled.

"Um, no, no I'm actually looking for Alice Cullen. I was told she worked here?" I said quietly.

"Yeah, she does, let me go see if she's in her office." The girl got up from her chair and walked to a office sticking her head in. she returned by herself so I thought that maybe Alice wasn't here at all. "She's not in there right now, but all her bags are so I'm sure she'll be back in just a minute." I was looking at her until something caught my eye. It was her, standing next to some short Asian guy, it shocked me that she had what resembled Rosalie's baby bump at least what it looked like over a month ago.

_Maybe it's just from the stress. What the fuck Jasper, of course she's pregnant have you ever know Alice to eat because of stress?_

I walked over to her while I held my breath, I wanted to turn and run but I needed to hear it, I needed to know why.

She looked a little taken back as I stood in front of her. "So I guess Bella told you where to find me?" Alice finally said with a small smile of defeat.

"In her defense I pulled the friend card and made her _really_ uncomfortable." I felt extremely nervous but I owed it to Bella to stand up for her. But now that I started to talk to her I wanted to get it over with. "So I can see why you left me now." I looked down at her stomach for a quick second.

"You do?" She seemed really surprised by the notion.

"Yeah, it's hard to miss, I still can't see how it was so bad that this happened, and now I'll have a whole new set of issues to deal with when I get home." I decided not to continue, it would have led to me telling her about my new drinking problem.

"Ok, now you've really lost me, but can we take this in my office please?" She started walking before I even said anything, I followed behind her.

_Now's your last chance to leave man. You already know she's got someone else._

I stepped in the office and it so clearly her's, things everywhere and magazine catalogs stacked along the edge of her desk. I looked up at her as she was sitting down, she seemed different then I remembered maybe this new guy made her happy.

"So, can you explain your theory to me again because I have no idea what you were talking about out there." She sighed and was trying to maintain minimal eye contact.

"Why couldn't you just tell me Alice, I know I wasn't the best boyfriend there at the end but did I really deserve this?" I couldn't believe it, I never thought Alice would cheat on me.

"You may be right."

"Just tell me one thing, are you happy, does he make you happy since I couldn't?" Tears were threatening to now replace my inner anger when I realized I wouldn't be getting her back. That I would be going back to Port Angeles alone.

"'_He?_'" She still was playing dumb, but yet she only know looked straight at me.

"Yeah, the other guy, the baby's dad." It burned to speak those words and I thought I could actually taste ash in my mouth as I looked at her hidden bump.

"There is no guy Jazz." She said quietly. "I didn't leave you because I was seeing someone else." Tears now emerged in her eyes and she looked back down. "You are the baby's dad Jasper." She whispered.

I opened my mouth but no words would come out, as the silence continued I was finally found my voice. "I'm going to be a father?" It was raspy and sounded terrified but I was able to say it.

"No, you're not, but I am going to be a mother." She was apologetic but left no room for an argument.

"I don't get it." I admitted.

"You don't want kids Jazz." She leaned over her desk. "You said yourself you didn't, and it's not like we were doing all that well before I found out." It seemed to me like she was trying to bash on me now.

"So I don't deserve to know I'm going to have a child!" I regretted how loud I'd been when I recalled her office door was open. I looked behind me and several people were watching through the glass walls.

"Do you mind keeping your voice down? I still have to work here when you leave." She hissed.

"Who says I want to leave?" I was much quieter now on the outside but inside I was still on fire. I turned back around when I heard a knock on the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you Alice, but I need that layout for the Winchesters back." A tall red-head started to say. "Oh, I didn't realize you had company, Hi." She looked at me with a seductive smile.

"Here it is," Alice shoved a handful of papers at the woman who had continued staring at me. "Goodbye Becky." She seemed annoyed now and the red-head left.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going." She replied closing the door behind her.

I turned back to Alice who was rubbing her temples.

"I need to get out of here." She whined a little. "You want to come with me?" She asked as she started grabbing folders and day planners.

"Yeah, were are we going?" I stood up, I was happy this conversation wouldn't have an audience anymore.

"My place." She was still rummaging through her stuff. I noticed the collection of bags she accumulating in her arms. Without thinking twice I walked around the desk and stood next to her.

"Let me get those for you." I took them before she could protest, which she didn't.

"Thanks. Now listen just head for the elevator and don't stop to talk to anyone, trust me you'll thank me later." She pushed in front of me with a few more bags and opened the door. "Just wait for me over there, I have to stop by reception for a sec."

"You want me to go sit with a bunch of wedding obsessed women?" I was horrified at the thought.

"I think you'll be ok." She smiled at me before leaving my side.

I sat on a chair with her bags and looked around at the place. It was a nice, big open room, the back separated by the receptionist's desk and like Alice's there was about a dozen other offices that lined the side walls.

_You're going to be a dad dude, what the hell are you going to do?_

I couldn't help but laugh at the irony in this, it wasn't exactly what I thought would happen when I got here.

"Ok, I'm ready, let's get out of here before anymore gossip starts about us." She said looking around the room paranoid as she pushed the elevator button repeatedly.

"Yes, please." I got up from my chair and as I stood next to her I felt relieved for some reason I didn't know why I just did. We got in the elevator and she pushed the button for the parking level.

_She's parked down there with you, guess I should have done a better job at looking for her car._

"Are you going to tell me why you think I'm _am _the father but I _not_ going to be a father because I'm a little confused." I turned to look at her, I knew she would feel like she was on the spot and I would most likely to get a better answer that way. It worked.

"I told you already," She couldn't look at me for long so she kept her eyes wondering. "You don't want kids, so why burden you with one." I couldn't help but snicker.

"God, Alice, you don't know me at all do you?" I thought that in all the years we've known each other, she would have known I couldn't walk away from something like that nor would I want to. "You really thought you couldn't tell me because I expressed my desire not to _actively_ try to have children?"

"Well now you're twisting it all around and it sounds horrible." The doors opened and she made sure she was the first one out. "Look Jasper, I came to the conclusion that I could do this by myself before I left you so I won't take it personally if you go to your car and I never see you again." She stopped and turned to face me.

"I'm not going to walk away...not like you did." I resented her for it some.

"Can you blame me?" She sounded a bit harsh I thought.

"For somethings I can't...they weren't your fault, but for others...like this mini disaster of the moment I can...but I won't. Because as much as I hate to admit it, I have an equal part in it regarding somethings." I told her, I should have sounded more upset but I couldn't change it now. "I can't think of anything more important then raising this baby."

She starting laughing at me. "I find that a little hard to believe Jasper. Bella filled me in on what you've been doing with your time."

_Fuck, what does she know now?_

"Look it's true I found ways to deal the fact that you were gone, but I was only filling the void _you _left in me, so _you_ can fill it again not just numb it for a while. I'm not an addict Alice, I wouldn't be here if I was would I? No, because I wouldn't care the whiskey would be enough and just so you know it never has been." If she didn't know about the booze then she did now.

"I never said you were, ok well I guess I implied it, I'm sor-"

A car horn honked at us. "Hey, lady do you mind getting out of the road, you're holding people up here!" A guy yelled from his small car that was behind Alice, she stepped toward me and out of way of the angry driver.

She seemed uncomfortable with our proximity, as did I a little, so I shifted my weight and backed up a step.

"So, I'm parked on level 3, where are you?" I asked her, I was thankful for the impatient man he made it easy to drop the conversation about my drinking.

"I would be in the maternity spot next to the handicap right there." She pointed to the familiar lime green bug she drove. "It's goofy I know but I get hell for it upstairs if I don't use one of the designated spaces for women like me, I'm the only pregnant person employee right now, it makes it easy to pick on me." A small smile threatened to show on the edges of her lips. "If you wanna come back down this way and follow back to my condo, I'll wait to see your car behind me."

"Ok, I'll help you carry these first." I started walking to her car and she was a few steps behind me so I slowed down to walk by her. "So you live in a condo now?" I had to ask.

"Yeah, I just moved in so there's still a lot of boxes laying around and wrappings from the furniture, so I apologize ahead of time."

"It's just me Alice, don't worry about it." We reached her car and I opened her door for her. "Here I'll put those in the back with these." I grabbed the rest of the bags from her arms except her purse and put them in the backseat. She had gotten in her car but left the door ajar so I closed it for her too and she rolled her window down.

"So I'll just wait for you here." She repeated the plan.

"I'll be back in just a few minutes." I gave her a small smile before walking up the garage to the third level where I was parked. It gave me a small window to think in peace.

_Ok Jazz, you can't get mad at her, she was probably scared and she wasn't wrong about us not being in the best place, you've already admitted that to yourself...but you can't let her walk away again. She's got your baby growing inside her, that adorable little bump is your son or daughter_._ It's time to grow up and be a man now...you're going to have a family._

The thought of a family did sound somewhat more appealing then when I had the original conversation with Alice months ago

I got in my car and sped down the ramps to meet up with her. She pulled her little bug out of the parking space with the music cranked way too loud. Alice's mood could be found in the music she listened to, and I recognized the current song leaking out her windows, it was _Halfway Gone _by Lifehouse. I easily related to it, whenever I heard it I thought back to the last few weeks I had with her and how I felt like I was only half there and I didn't even know when or where I lost the other half. Maybe Ali did too.

_ If you want me out then I'm on my way_

_And I'm feeling, feeling I'm feeling this way_

_Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long_

_Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone_

It had become the start of lunch hour and the streets were even more congested then when I first got here. But I managed to stay behind Alice through it. After the Lifehouse song was finished the beat did a complete 180...it was _Energy _by Keri Hilson. I was out of practice but I was pretty sure Alice was trying to explain how she felt before she left. Knowing her for so long I developed a sixth sense with her, I felt things she felt, and I could usually understand what she was feeling, I didn't pay attention to it a lot towards the end and I hadn't seen her in almost six months, but something felt right, I knew I was getting the message now

_I wish I could rip out a page of my memory_

_'Cause I put too much energy in him and me_

_Can't wait 'til I get through this phase_

_'Cause it's killing me_

_Too bad we can't re-write our own history_

Yeah, I was getting it alright, and I was starting to see her side of the story a much clearer.

_Such a mystery when he's here with me_

_Hard to believe I'm still lonely_

_Chances fading now, patience running out_

_This ain't how it's supposed to be_

_I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy_

_How do we reverse the chemistry_

_I don't want us to be the end of me_

_This love has taken all my energy_

Alice turned the radio down when she made a left hand turn into another parking garage, the building on top of it was bigger then the office tower she worked in.

_Holy Shit._

She parked in a reserved parking spot and stuck her hand out the window signaling for me to park next to her and I complied.

"Alice, I have to say you seem to be doing fine financially now." I couldn't stop myself from saying it. I also thought it best not to mention the music yet.

Her cheeks flushed a little as she opened the back door. "Yeah, my cliente is very high end, meaning a very large payout when it's all done." She opened the back door and starting reaching for the bags.

"I'll get those, don't worry about them." I grabbed her hand...it was the first time I'd touched her since I found her again, it felt like I had just submerged my hand in fresh hot lava but I didn't move...and neither did she. "Alice, I've missed you so much." I laced my fingers in hers and pulled her arm to my chest making her step closer to me. I rose my free hand to cup her cheek, after she leaned her face into it I decided to go for a kiss. I moved slow enough to give her a last minute chance to object but she said nothing just stared into my eyes and I back in hers. I kissed her softly to start but it built up into something more fierce. I released her hand and put mine behind her back pushing her as close to me as she could get and she threw her arms around my neck. I leaned her back up against the side of the car as we continued the kiss breaking only for a hint of air before returning to it, until someone cleared their throats and we stopped dead in our tracks turning our heads in the direction the noise originated from.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson, how are you this afternoon?" Alice asked in a polite voice.

"You have a house here Alice, might I suggest you use it, and keep your affairs out of the public eye." A old _very _grouchy woman spat back at Alice.

"Ok, I'm sorry about that, it won't happen again." Alice called to her as she starting walking away again

"I won't hold my breath." She spoke to herself but it was loud enough to hear.

"She's just a cranky old lady, but she's right we should probably take this inside." Alice informed me before slithering under my arms the best she could, but her bump made it a bit difficult.

"So when are you due?" I asked grabbing all of the stuff in her car for her. I wanted to ask about our kiss but this wasn't the right place. I'd bring it up later.

"Um June 30th, so I have about five months." She said semi-sheepishly.

"Wow, I've missed a bit haven't I?" We had to start somewhere so why not here, why there wasn't some uncomfortable silence.

"If it helps at all I didn't find out until two days before I left...it was the main reason I did it I guess, that and to spare you from going through something I knew you didn't want." She confessed.

"I'm sorry to say it doesn't that much." It was the truth, I was hurt by it and she needed to know it.

We walked into the building and got in another elevator, she pressed the 50th floor...the very top. She must have caught me eyeballing it strangely because she brought the subject back to the condo.

"Yeah, I have the penthouse condo of the building, I'll be able to finish paying it off a few years if things go well I think."

"Look Alice I came here with a whole bunch to say and this threw a wrench in it, so I am a little speechless now." I didn't really want to get off track if I could stop it from doing so.

"I knew it would, of course at the time I was hoping you wouldn't come looking, guess I should have known better huh?" She opened her purse and started fishing for keys when the doors opened up to reveal a set of stainless steel double doors.

"There's a lot that needs to be said, I think it's better if we do it all inside." I concluded.

She put the key in the door and opened it stepping in first.

"Like I said it's a little messy still."

The condo was extravagant, it would have given her parent's house run for it's money. Granted it wasn't four stories tall like theirs was but it was as large as a house. Alice hadn't lied about there being boxes and a lot of packing material from the furniture being everywhere.

"It's a big place for just one person." I pointed out.

Alice had moved to the kitchen where she put her purse down. "Pretty soon it will be two people." She clarified.

"What about three people?" She stopped fiddling around in the kitchen and looked at me. "I told you earlier Alice, I'm not so sure I want to leave. I want to be a part of my child's life somehow someway." My eyes started to sting when I spoke of the baby as mine but tears didn't fall. "I know it's a lot to ask but I still love you as much now as I did 10 years ago, more actually. I want you and I want our baby. I want a family." I did too, and I wanted her to know that before anything else happened.

"Ok, I definitely didn't expect you to say that." She went and sat down at the kitchen table and I followed suit. "Why Jasper, I don't get it?"

"I don't either, it's just the way I feel." I put my head in my hands and ran them through my hair. I didn't have the reasons why, I just had the answers.

She sat quietly for what felt like an eternity looking very puzzled before she looked me in the eye.

"Ok." Was all she said.

"Ok?" I was lost a bit.

"Ok, I do too." What looked like tears of joy filled her eyes. "I still love you too Jazz, I never quit, I just thought I was giving you what you wanted."

"Alice, I may have said I didn't want kids, but that doesn't mean that I would turn my back on you or the baby if it happened. I always felt that way, I should said that too the night we talked about it. I guess our communication skills have taken a big hit this past year huh?" This was all happening because of it.

"I'd say." She laughed as tears started falling.

"We'll have to work on that."

"Yeah." She shook her head in agreement

"What else was bothering you before you left? I think we should lay all our cards on the table while we're here so we know what needs to change."

"I just felt like I was losing you, you weren't all there all the time, I couldn't remember the last time I had seen you really smile, I thought maybe it was because of me." She had it all wrong, I reached across the table and took both her hands in mine.

"Alice, what I was going through then had absolutely _nothing _to do with you, I swear. I hate my job, and I hated myself for not being able to give you the life you deserved to have. Everyone but us was doing well, they all seem so happy and I wanted that for us, but it wasn't happening for some reason. I was beginning to lose hope, but it was me that was stopping it. I think I'm ready to be your everything again, yours and the baby's, I know I'm ready."

"Jazz, you've only have like 2 hours to process this all, how can you be so sure?"

"I love you Alice, and this baby _is _you as much as it is me...how can I not be sure?" I was sure, I was damn sure. I got up from the chair and got down on my knees next to Alice. "I promise you I'm not going anywhere, without you I'm pretty sure I'd die, the same goes for this little one." I put my hand on her stomach and she covered it with hers.

"I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought."

I stood up pulling her with me, then kissed her as passionately as we had in the parking garage before taking her in my arms.

"So what do we do now?"

"Well...my job's here, and I really love my job, plus I make great money. I don't think I really want to go back to Port Angeles, I want to stay here." She walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa patting the seat next to her.

"I'm currently living above Emmett and Rosalie's garage, I'm not going to complain about moving an hour away from that catastrophe." I smiled at that as I wrapped my hand around hers, it felt like nothing ever happened.

"You lived on top of Rose for like 20 years, you have to be use to it by now." She laughed.

"I never lived on top of a _pregnant _hormonal Rose before. I thought most woman cried, but she _yells_. It's horrible." I was being a dramatic, but Rose was after all very dramatic.

"Give her a break, I know what it's like. You can be happy one minute then do a 180 the next it's tough to control." She sounded happy about the mood changes.

"Have you had a lot of those?" I had already missed a chunk of her pregnancy so I thought I needed to catch up as quickly as possible.

"They've been out there some, I'll admit. Oh, there's something I want to show you!" She walked over to the fridge and removed something that was stuck under a magnet. She sat back down and handed it to me. "It's the last sonogram I had." She had a giant grin on her face and I couldn't help but do the same.

"That's are baby?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, well what it looked like about six weeks ago. I have another appointment tomorrow afternoon."

"Do you mind if I go?" I wanted to be there, do everything a good father was suppose to do.

"You want to go?" She asked.

"Yeah, I want to be there for everything Alice, I'm with you 100%."

"Ok, it's at 3:30." She seemed happy, and I was too. "I can pretty much work from home tomorrow, if you wanted to stay the night, I wouldn't say no." She looked me in the eye before taking my face in her hands and kissing me.

"I wouldn't either, I'll swing by the hotel and check out today." I smiled at her, and it felt so right to have her in my arms again.

"Well, now that we got that covered, I'm starving, let's go get something to eat. We'll stop by the hotel after." She got up from the couch and turned to look at me.

"Ok, I don't know my way around the city." I confessed, but she had to of already known that.

"Don't worry I know this great place, you'll love it, and it always seems to satisfy my food cravings, you'll see why."

She grabbed her purse and we headed back to down to her car. When we got in the music was blaring as always and it made me jump out of the seat and I quickly covered my ears. She turned it down and looked at me with a smile.

"You're going to be deaf by the time you're forty you know." I told her seriously. She started laughing hysterically as she turned it down. "What's so funny?" I didn't get it.

"Do you realize you tell me that every time you get in my car, I mean _every _time?" She was still laughing.

I thought back to other times this had happened and she was right, I did say that every time.

"Well it's true, and I'm sure it's not healthy for the baby either." Using the baby was dirty play but I hated when this happened.

"It's not going to hurt the baby, hey who knows, maybe the baby will be genetically engineered to know good music from bad, at the very worst it will come out all angry like a hard rock band." She said sarcastically, I chuckled at the thought.

"I'm sure you won't be laughing if it's true." I told her as she pulled out to the street.


	5. Rain

**A/N: So I know this chapter took longer then the others but I had this huge chunk I had written before I started posting and I had to tweak a few things to match up with the past chapters so I hope it's a good one and that the next one won't take me so long, I have a general idea what will happen but I'm not 100% on how it will go so who knows I do promise to have it out as soon as I dub it worthy of your eyes. So until next time.**

It's hard to know when it give up the fight

Somethings you want will just never be right

It's never rained like it has tonight before

Now I don't want to be beg you baby

For something maybe you could never give

I'm not look for the rest of your life

I just want another chance to live

_Rain-_by Patty Griffin

Alice POV

Lunch went by without any complications, we spent the time catching each other up on our lives for the past five months. Jasper asked me a lot of questions about the baby which I filled him in on, I asked about Rosalie and her pregnancy and was happy to hear it was going well for her so far. We left the restaurant and headed back to my house when he broke the few seconds of silence we currently had.

"I think you should call Rose sometime in the next few days, I know she'll be happy to hear from you." Jasper told me as we got in the elevator to my condo.

"How can she ever really want to see me again let alone talk to me?" I couldn't understand why she would, I didn't understand why Jasper even did.

"Rose puts up a good front but I know she misses you." He seemed like he was being honest. "If she does give you any shit I'll take the fall for it, I promise."

"Except I deserve whatever she throws at me, what I did to her and everyone else." I looked down at my feet as I thought about it. "Our problems should have never involved our families, back then I thought if I left then no one would have to deal with my crap but it just made it worse."

"Does anyone else even know you're pregnant?" He wondered.

"No." I was ashamed of that too.

"Well given the situation I think they will be a bit more understanding, but you've got to tell them, sooner rather then later would be better because no matter what now there will be some hurt feelings and it will only get worse." He suggested.

"And say what, 'sorry I ran out on all of you but I'm pregnant' that doesn't just make everything ok Jazz." I wasn't going to use the baby as a good reason for leaving my family and friends it was barely an _ok_ one for leaving Jasper.

"They're your family Alice, they love you no matter what, and that goes for Rose and Bella and me, we are all family regardless if we share DNA. They will forgive you." He stood there with his hands behind his back and it always reminded me of a solider though Jazz had never served. He would stand like this when he had no doubt in what he was saying.

"You know you're nothing like Bella described." I had to point it out, Bella had said he was a wreak; didn't talk to anyone, never smiled, quit caring about personal hygiene and was constantly drinking whiskey.

"Oh no I'm sure Bella was right, it's no lie I've been..._less_ then human lately and found friends in odd things. I kinda just pulled it together after some harsh words from Rose." He said it now like it was almost nothing but underneath I could tell it stung a little, and I expected it to.

"I'm sorry." I felt horrible because I knew I was the one who had caused him so much pain.

"Don't be, it's in the past and I don't feel like that anymore."

"I wish you could tell me why that is, because I can't see how you can just forgive me for all this shit." I just couldn't let it go, maybe I was giving him extra chances to change his mind.

"I just do." He shrugged his shoulders, apparently he wasn't going to take any of them.

"If you ever figure it out you're gonna have to tell me." He chuckled at me when I said that.

"I promise." He mocked me slightly by putting his hand over his heart.

I unlocked the door to the house and headed to the couch where I plopped down.

"I'm so exhausted, and my feet are killing me." I complained as he sat down next to me and grabbed my hand.

"But you look fabulous." He smiled at me, I knew what he was doing.

"You're just saying that but thank you, the truth is I quit fitting into my clothes about 3 weeks ago, thank god major labels make maternity clothes because some of the things that I've seen are so hideous I'd rather wear sweats until the baby comes, but I haven't really bought a lot yet." That was a fact I hadn't really taken the time to buy any "mommy" clothes before I got this big and I still was in slight denial that my favorite clothes were doomed to stay in the closet for a while.

"No I really mean it, you look radiant, just like Rose does and it suits you, hey there you go, Rose can still go shopping I'm sure she would love to help." He was purposely trying to make it sound appealing which it already kinda did.

I didn't have enough maternity clothes to get me through the rest of my pregnancy and the baby's room was a far cry from finished. I hardly had time to order furniture for the house, let alone take care of something that didn't have to be done for another four months. I really did need to shop.

"I'll give her a call in a couple of days." I caved in.

"She'll be so happy Alice, and who knows how much longer she's going to be able to do things, she can barely get around now." He tone ended in light laughter.

"Don't make fun, it's no picnic, you lose control over the entire process, nothing is on your time schedule and you wake up every couple of weeks and something else doesn't fit, you mind as well live in the bathroom, and then you have to suffer in agony for hours." I was really whining now but it was true and how I felt.

"You're forgetting the best part, you get to meet your baby in the end." He reminded me, he wasn't acting like he only knew about this for a day but he had been living with Rosalie so he was probably use to a lot of baby talk and things.

"I know, just sometimes getting there isn't so fun."

"Well tomorrow should be, we get to see the baby, and if you ever want to complain I'll be right here to listen, I swear."

"I might just have to take you up on that one day." I rolled my ankles a few time to stretch them out this week my feet had really started to swell and my doctor told me it could last the rest of the pregnancy, and they hurt all the time now.

"Lay down and I'll give you a foot massage." H told me.

"Really?" One sounded great, he use to give them to me all the time before things started to fall apart. Then again we didn't do much other then co-exist near the end.

"You carry our child around all day long it's the least I can do." He answered as I put my feet in his lap. "Why don't you find us a movie to watch or something." He handed me the remote that was on the coffee table.

I surfed the choices and finally picked some movie we had seen together in the theaters years ago.

"So what's going to happen tomorrow at the doctor's do you know?" His fingers felt great on my toes.

"We get to see how the baby is progressing and they can tell the sex of the baby-but I'm keeping it a mystery. I want to be surprised."

"I think I can live with that."

"No peeking tomorrow." I made sure he knew I was firm on this.

"I don't even really know what I would be looking for, it doesn't look like much to me, I can't believe doctors can even tell anything."

I knew what he meant, the pictures you got barely looked human.

"I love you Ali." He told me out of no where. "Maybe I didn't tell you that enough and that's why you left but I love you so much." He concluded.

"I left for a lot of things, but I never did it because I didn't think you loved me, I just thought you maybe needed a change, I thought it would help if I left." I had to tell him. "And I love you too Jazz."

"I can't promise I'll believe that, right now there is too much self doubt and I can't help but think this is my fault.."

"I'm not without my own just so you know, I kinda keep half expecting this to be some sick game and for you to walk out that door. It's what I deserve." I jerked my chin to the steel exit.

"I won't." He promised. "Even if I hated you with all my being I still wouldn't do that to you, it's just cruel. You got to start accepting that Ali."

"And you have to start accepting that I didn't leave because I didn't love you or thought you didn't love me." I added my own recommendation.

"Let's agree that we need to stop blaming ourselves and blame both of us, this was all a big misunderstanding, and whoever speaks of it first loses something, like a bet."

"Deal." I could live with that, it seemed like we brought this up too much already and he hadn't even been here a day.

The foot rub was incredible and within a half hour I was asleep on the couch. Jasper woke me close to five and asked if I would like to go out on a date with him. I accepted and excused myself to change. I came back out in twenty minutes.

"Wow, I think that is the fastest I've ever seen you get ready, I was expecting to be waiting for at least two hours." He teased me.

"Ha, ha, very funny, but like I said earlier I don't have that many options to choose from at the moment, and since I'm constantly on the go for work I have let a few things slide, but don't expect it to last." I pointed a finger at him as a warning..

"So what is Mama and baby craving?" He asked rubbing my baby bump.

"I'm thinking Japanese, granted I can't have sushi, but there is this great place where they cook the food in front of you and do tricks, it's pretty neat and the food is to die for." I had been looking for a reason to go back to that restaurant but I looked pathetic going by myself so I knew I would look even worse when I started to show and was still alone.

"Sounds appetizing, let's go." He held out his arm for me to take like a gentlemen and I took it with a smile on my face, it had been a long time since he did these kinds of things for me, absence must make the heart grow fonder. _Maybe it was a good thing you left him, make him think about what he was missing. God Alice you're such a bitch sometimes._

This time Jasper drove and I gave him directions which meant it took an extra 20 minutes to get there.

"Make a left." I pointed out the windshield then went back to digging in my purse.

"Where?" He asked and I looked back up.

"Back there, you missed it." I complained, this was the third time this had happened, Jasper let out a loud groan and gripped the steering wheel tighter turning his knuckles white.

"Alice, will you please pay attention and tell me so I have enough time to react?" He was clearly agitated.

"Sorry, we're almost there though and if you want I'll drive home." I felt bad for frustrating him, it wasn't my intention.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled."

"To be honest with you I been wondering when you would." Opps.

"Oh, no, you broke the deal you brought it up, it's going to cost you." A smile had lit up his face as he basked in his victory.

"Fine, yes, you win, what's it gonna run me?" I wondered thinking of past deals I lost.

"I'll get back to you on that one." He had a cocky look in his eye. "Where now?" I realized he'd made the turn onto the correct road.

"Take a right."

"Where?" He asked as he looked for the street.

"Behind you." I braced myself for it.

"Damn it Alice!" He was pissed again as he hit the brakes.

We finally got to the restaurant and luckily it wasn't too busy but we did sit at a table with two other couples who had already started. Jazz had continued his gentlemen treatment by taking my jacket and pulling the chair out for me.

"Hi, welcome to Yamoto's, what you like for drink?" The Japanese waitress asked us with a thick accent.

"I'll have a Sprite." I told her.

"Same for me." Jasper added.

"Ok, I be back to take order." She informed us before leaving.

"So what's good here?" Jasper asked me as he looked at the menu.

"You'd like the shrimp." I remembered back when I first had ordered it I thought it was something he would like it...and then I cried into fried rice.

"Shrimp it is then." He set the menu down smiling and gave me a quick kiss and I couldn't help but get lost in his eyes, I did every time I looked in them, and he just looked back.

_Yes I definitely missed this._

"Is this your first baby?" A female's voice interrupted our small trance, I looked up-as did Jasper-at the woman it came from, she was one of the couples at our table.

"Yes." Jasper answered her before I had a chance to say anything.

"Trust me it's going to be the best thing to ever happen in your life, it will even top your wedding."

"Oh, we're not married." I awkwardly told her.

"Well who says you have to be these days right?" She had a big smile across her face. "Me and my husband raised five little ones, but they're all grown up and now we are proud grandparents. Being a mom is so special it's something every woman should enjoy."

"And don't worry son if you feel like you're screwing up all the time, those hormones are the worst." The lady's husband had leaned closer to Jasper to whisper the last part but everyone still heard it and his wife slapped his arm. "But just you wait until that little one in there makes an appearance, it will change your whole perspective on life." I could tell by the look on his face that he loved being a father, and I hoped that Jasper would to.

"I'm very excited, _we're _very excited." Jasper informed the two as he held onto my hand tight.

"Do you know what you're having yet?" The lady asked.

"No, we want it to be a surprise." I told her. For the first time I didn't feel ashamed of my pregnancy, I didn't resent the baby or anything but I just never thought I would be a single mom so it was kinda disappointing. Except now I had Jasper, it was almost exactly how it should be and I was happy.

"All of our kids were surprises but back then you really didn't have a choice. Anyway congratulations you two and enjoy your nights out while you can." The woman got up from her chair as did her husband and left with a smile on her face.

"So what are you going to tell work?" I was curious and we needed a new topic anyway.

"That I quit." He said bluntly. "I hate it there-as you know-so I don't feel bad just leaving as long as you're okay with that, I mean it's an hour drive without the ferry."

"No, it's fine, I make more then enough to support us until you find a job."

"I'm not going to be that dead beat dad." He clarified with me.

"I believe that, if you were you wouldn't be here right now."

The rest of dinner went like a dream, we laughed and held hands and over all were a little more public with our affections then we ever were before and it couldn't have felt more like a fairy tale. We stopped by the hotel to pick up Jasper's things and when we got home we walked in like nothing had changed and I chuckled inside, this all has to be a dream. I stood in the hallway for a minute before I realized Jasper was talking to me.

"Are you ok?" He looked slightly concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine, just tired, it's one of the many joys of pregnancy, fatigue, belching, unwanted gas, the movies make it seem all glamorous but the truth is your body does many embarrassing things and I'm told it gets worse. I don't want to sound like a wuss but I think I'm ready for bed, it's been an...emotional day to say the least." I suddenly had the urge to call Rosalie and talk about said pregnancy issues, I knew she was about six weeks ahead of me and could give me a heads up on what to expect better than any book that was currently on my nightstand, and there were many.

"Well let's go upstairs and go to bed, I could sleep to I think." He smiled then began following me up to the second floor, I had yet to show his this. The baby's room was here and all the things I had bought so far, which wasn't much.

"Do you want to see the baby's room at least where it's going to be when it's finished...if it ever gets finished." I opened the door to the worst room in the house. Yes, the house was in ruins at the present time but the nursery looked like a tornado had spent two days in there. "I haven't really had time to do a lot, I just have an idea of what I want, and I have the colors picked out but I haven't gotten the paint yet." I sounded like I was trying to defend the mini disaster and Jasper just laughed.

"Well you have been busy lately, and you've only been living here for a little while. If you want until I find a job I could work on it." He asked picking up the color swatches and notes I had made.

When I started planning the decor I did it the way my mom taught me and Jasper was no stranger to my way of doing things.

"Really?" I knew he would know what to do and it would be tremendous help.

"Yeah, I'm sure I can get Em to help me put things together and when you have time you can do something too, or it could be a surprise for you. Maybe working on it will help me feel caught up on things." He gave me a large grin.

"Ok. If Rose will ever talk to me again maybe she can help with furniture."

"She will, like I told you before she misses you, and I'll do my best to keep her raging hormones at bay."

"You say that now, but I know you run in the opposite direction when Rose's temper flares." I turned to leave the room and headed for my own I wasn't heavily concerned about it at the moment but I knew when I time came it would bother the hell out of me.

After Jasper looked in aw at my king sized bed with a large frame we both changed and he cracked a joke about how many people I planned on having in my bed since it was far too big for even two. I didn't really have an answer for him so I just slid under his arm and snuggled into his chest like I use to, it was different now because I couldn't get as close as I wanted with my belly in the way, but at the same time it felt like all three of us were cuddling and it felt right, like how it was meant to be. I found sleep quickly listening to Jasper's heartbeat and the rhythm of which his chest rose and fell. I felt safe and I felt happy, and my dreams were the same.

I woke up the next morning before Jasper and decided I would run into the office to get a few things I needed to do today. It was my day off-I always took off when I had a doctors visit-but since I didn't do everything I was suppose to yesterday it had to be done today seeing as how it was Friday. I dressed and sneaked out without ever waking Jasper.

"So?" Becky asked me when I walked up to the receptionist's desk where they were gathered.

"So?" I pretended to be lost as she and Amanda looked at me with smiles.

"Did you really think we weren't going to notice the very yummy blonde in here yesterday?" Becky kinda stared off into space.

"Jasper." I couldn't help but laugh a bit as I looked down at my shoes.

"So spill, who is he?" She leaned over the counter waiting for her explanation.

"He's…he's my ex." I admitted. "And the baby's father."

"Well I guess you can't really think someone that good looking would take responsibility for things." She now turned her opinion around I was sure for my benefit.

"No, you've got it all twisted. Jazz is…he's sweet, he's a good man…he just happened to not want kids. I left without ever telling him about the baby."

"Alice, I haven't known you that long but I do know that for you that's really cold." Amanda chimed in.

"I know, I should have told him sooner, but he sure as hell knows now." I looked down, I was a little ashamed at what I did to him.

Jazz had made it clear last night how wrong I was-and for some reason was forgiving me-but now my new friends were too, I couldn't blame them.

"So where is he now?" Amanda pressed, she loved gossip.

"I'm pretty sure he's still asleep in my bed." I blushed.

"You are so dirty, and lucky. If it was me I wouldn't have taken you back for pulling that shit." Becky reminded me of Rose, she was honest no matter how much the truth hurt. "Someone must be watching out for you."

"Oh yes, I get knocked up, then leave my boyfriend without a word like a really big cunt. I'm a such a saint." I said before heading to my office.

"It's more fun to be a sinner then a saint, don't forget. She called back to me.

Once I was in my office I started gathering the resources I lacked then I had to get back to Jasper.

I didn't plan on today being the day that Rachael-my boss and the owner of Christophe and Company- would want to talk to me.

"Alice, my office." Was all she said before heading there herself.

I walked into the oversized room and sat down in one of the chairs.

"What's up?" I asked casually. I was one of the few people in the company who wasn't afraid of Rachael. She loved me as much as she was capable of. She loved the attention I was starting to get the company, and a few rich clients who were looking to use us.

"I assume you heard Clara Ford is engaged, it's all over the Social section." She tossed a paper in front of me.

"Yeah, I did." I asked looking at yesterday's newspaper article. Of course I knew about it, whoever landed her was going to make a lot of money.

"Then you know word is other planners are directing her toward you."

_That's new to me…shit what now?_

"It would be exceptional if you land this account; she also is on the guest list for the Christensen's Wedding. I want you to think of this account as something you're going to need for your baby no matter what…like that smelly white stuff they call milk."

"You got it, don't worry everything will be perfect, I promise." I really did get what she was saying; she wanted me to take extra care of The Christensen's.

You could say that they were like a test run for me; it was my first account as an actual wedding planner, not just a personal shopper. I'd been working on it since I got here. When the previous planner 'hit the wall' as they called it, meaning she just ran out of ideas it became solely mine. I heard she has some psychotic break after that, needless to say she was no longer with C&C.

The wedding was in six weeks and I had just about everything in place already, I had been planning parties my whole life, so I got things done quickly.

"I'm sure it will." She smiled her sinister smile for a minute. "But anyways, what are you doing here, isn't today your day off?" She asked in a much friendlier tone.

"Yes, I'm going, but I had to grab a few things first." I said getting up in a hurry. "Oh, and Rachael, he's here." I couldn't hide the small smile on my face.

"Honey, forget what ever you came here for and get your ass back home." Rachael knew more then most, actually she knew a lot more then most.

"I just need to grab my binders and contact books." I stuck my thumb toward my office.

"Well go then!" She smiled shooing me out with her hand. "And so help me god, you better not spend all day working, I want to know what happens when you get back."

"Ok." I laughed; I don't think there was one person in this office who didn't like gossiping and Rachael was no exception though I knew she would never tell anyone else what I shared with her.

I got the binders and books off my desk and headed back to the reception area.

"Amanda, if I get any calls that are important, give them my cell number otherwise I kinda need today alright?" I said softly though I knew everyone would know in five minutes or less.

"Sure Alice." She smiled and wrote it down on a post-it note.

_Maybe it's to remind her to say something to everyone._

"Good luck with your honey!" She called as I got in the elevator.

_Yep. Five minutes or less._

When I got home I found Jasper awake watching TV with a bowl of cereal in hand.

"You're up." I told him as I closed the door.

"And you were gone, kinda got nervous for a second." He said with his mouth full. "Then I remembered it was your house." He put the bowl down and got up to kiss me. It was starting to feel like I never left.

"Sorry, I had to run to work to grab a few things, and you should start thinking of this as your house too, you live here now. But I've got a few last minute things I need to finish and I really need to get them done this morning, are you going to be fine by yourself?" I felt like a party crasher but right now I had to be.

"I think I'll survive, you go do what you got to do, I can entertain myself." He wasn't upset at all, I had never had a job that required me to take my work home so I wasn't sure how he'd react but I didn't think he'd be mad anyways.

"Alright well I'll be in my office it's the door next to the bathroom down here if you need anything." I couldn't contain myself anymore and kissed him long and hard. "Sorry my hormones get the best of me sometimes." I blushed some.

"I don't mind." He smiled and planted a small kiss on the tip of my nose. "Go, get your work done, I'll be out here."

For the first time since I started this job I didn't really have the desire to work but I had to, I had a deadline to meet so I grabbed my bags and headed for the mini disaster I called my office.

On the way down the hall I heard Jasper's phone ring. It was a familiar ring tone.

_Warning: this is a call from your sister, it is potentially dangerous, you may wish to think twice before answering, have you done anything wrong today? And if so are you prepared to be questioned about it now?_

It didn't matter how many times I heard it, it always made me laugh and today was no different. I wondered when she was going to call looking for him and what he'd tell her, guess I'd find out after, but while I waited I had to dive into the pile of things shouting to be done. My mind was slightly distracted with trying to eavesdrop from my desk in the study but all I heard was Jasper's raised voice a few times not able to make out what he was saying just what ever it was it was bothering him. I had almost forgot I was in the middle of making my own call when someone on the other end answered and pulled me back to my work at hand.

It was almost one o'clock when I finally emerged from the messy room I called my office. Jazz was asleep on the couch with the remote laying on his chest. Our appointment was in two hours and I was really hungry so against my better judgment I woke him up.

"Jazz, wake up, me and the little one need to eat." I realized after I said it I had never really referred to the baby like that to him before and I blushed a bit for some reason as he opened his eyes and sat up so I could sit next to him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." He rubbed his sleep induced eyes before kissing me on the cheek. "You said you two are hungry?" He placed his hand on the small bump and rubbed it lovingly.

"Yes we are and we would like lunch before we go see the doctor." I ran one of my hands through his long blond hair. Whenever I did that I couldn't help but twirl it around my fingers but he had told me once he liked it, it turned him on half the time and soothed him the other. I brought my free hand to his cheek and traced the line of his jaw. His skin was incredibly soft like always and his green eyes melted my blue ones into pools. I kissed him softly at first but when he leaned into me more I became more eager myself. He pushed me unto my back hovered over me for a second never breaking the kiss until his abs pressed slightly agaisnt my bump.

"Hey, is this ok, I mean is it safe for the baby and all?" He looked at my bump worried.

"Yeah, it's fine, we have a few months before we can't then we have to wait six weeks after the baby gets here too. So we might want to take advantage of the time we still got." I pulled him back to my lips only to have he break it again.

"Please don't be made but to tell you the truth; I haven't seen you in five months and if we are on a time limit I don't want our first time together again to be a quicky on the couch. I want to treat you like the beautiful lady you are and take my sweet ass time. Is that alright with you? You said you were hungry anyways so what do you say we come back here after the doctors and do this the right way?"

I let out a sigh of defeat as much I wanted him right now I knew he was right and it was really just my hormones talking right now.

"Ok, but just so you know I'm very horny and you are going to fix that when we get back." I smiled as he sat back up.

"Oh I don't think a hurricane could stop me from devouring you." He had that look in his eye to that told me he was trying his best to be good right now.

"Alright. Well I want a hotdog." I demanded and hot dogs were what I got, we stopped at the trolley in the park near my gynecologist and walked around while we waited for the appointment. It wasn't until we were called back to our room that Jasper started to look a little green.

"Are you going to make it over there?" I asked him as he sat in the chair next to the exam table and was staring at nothing really.

"Yeah, I'm just freaking myself out, it's kinda hitting me now that we're here. That baby is coming weather I'm ready or not." He looked completely terrified.

"You'll do fine." I patted his hand that was holding the side of the table. There was a knock on the door before the doctor opened it and walked in.

"Hello again Alice, how have things been going?" He asked as he washed his hands.

"I've been doing alright, um, Dr. Stevens this Jasper he's the baby's father." I stuck my thumb to the pathetic looking man.

"Oh, hello Jasper, I'm Dr. Stevens I'll be making sure everything is progressing the way it should and when this ride is all done I'll deliver your baby." He informed Jazz after quickly recovering from the shock, I had told Dr. Stevens that I planned on being a single mother and that the father wasn't in the picture but I'm sure his bedside manner stopped him from asking anything when I told him who Jasper was. "Well what do you kids say we spy on the little one?" He sat down and turned on the ultrasound machine while I pulled up my gown and he put the cold gel on my belly. When he picked up the mouse looking thing Jasper finally spoke.

"What is that going to do?" He asked as he now stood next to me holding my hand.

"This is going to show us your baby, don't worry mom doesn't feel a thing other then a little coldness, isn't that right Alice?" He smiled at me.

"It's fine Jazz, it doesn't hurt it actually kinda tickles, doesn't Rose talk about this stuff?" I thought he would have known about an ultrasound machine.

"I never went to any appointments, and I didn't really talk to her much or are you forgetting what Bella said about me?" I was surprised he was bring this up here.

"Alright everything is looking good kiddo's, Alice you still want it to be a surprise right?" He confirmed as he handed me the new photo.

"Sure do, but you said everything is ok?" I always double checked to make sure I wasn't hearing what I wanted to.

"Yes, you are right where you should be." He said getting up to wash his hands again. "Congratulations dad, Alice I'll want to see you again in 8 weeks and when you come back try to have a birth plan in mind so we can go over it." He told us before he started to leave.

"Ok, see you in two months doc." I said as he left the room.

I held the picture up for both of us to see and like always tears stung my eyes but this time they fell. "That's our baby." I said quietly and Jasper kissed the top of my head.

"And it's the most beautiful baby I can already tell. They will have so much of their mother in them so it would be impossible for them not to be." He hugged my shoulders and tears were threatening to fall just like me but he held them back. Jasper hadn't cried in front of me in over 15 years. "Let's go home and put that in a frame, that is after we make a few copies, I want one for myself and I'm sure Rose and your mom will want one too."

"Yeah, I was thinking of calling my mom in the morning, and see if she wants to do lunch with us or something tomorrow, and I was wondering if we could stop by Rose and Emmett's afterward is that's all alright with you, I mean I would like it if you were there to help me face them all." I fessed up as I got off the table to change my clothes.

"Of course I will, I promised you I'd hold Rose back and I did say sooner then later so I'm not going to complain." His smile reassured me he wasn't upset or even worried about it. Maybe this would all be easier then I thought.


	6. Hummingbird Heartbeat

Even the seasons change  
Our love still stays the same  
You give me the hummingbird heartbeat  
Spread my wings and make me fly  
The taste of your honey is so sweet  
When you give me the hummingbird heartbeat, hummingbird heartbeat

- _Hummingbird Heartbeat by Katy Perry_

Alice POV

When we got home after the doctor's office with some take out for dinner I had a break down-thanks to hormones I'm sure-and I fell asleep crying for nothing really in particular with my head in Jasper's lap. I must have been tired because when I woke up I was in my bed and the clock read 10:36 AM. Thank god it was Saturday and I didn't have any pressing work things to be done.

It took me a minute to realize something was off with the scene before me...I was alone in my bed when I shouldn't have been. I grabbed my robe-that no longer tied around my waist-and headed downstairs where I heard a bunch of commotion coming from.

It was Jazz, he was in the kitchen making what smelled like french toast and it sounded divine to my stomach.

"Morning, something smells good." I sat down at the island he was preparing most of the meal at.

"Good morning to you, I was starting to get nervous, you've been asleep for a little over 17 hours." He placed a large glass of orange juice in front of me and kissed my temple before quickly returning to the stove to flip the toast.

"Oh, yeah, I do that sometimes where I'm drained, it's a pregnancy thing and I'm told it's nothing to worry about, a lot of women are fatigued the whole time." I tried to convince him but he seemed to know better.

"I think you should maybe think about slowing down for a while then, if this happens often Alice it's your body telling you that you are doing too much."

"Jazz, you've only been here three days, I know what I can handle and what I can't." I was more firm then I intended. "Now what are you making that smells so good?" I changed the subject.

"French toast with bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice and your favorite." He went to the refrigerator and pulled out a large pink box. "I got you breakfast pie from Mr. Burger." He opened it and revealed a blueberry pie. When I saw it I couldn't help but laugh.

When I was 5 my family had taken us to Mr. Burger for breakfast and I saw a piece of blueberry pie in the cooler and asked my dad for it for breakfast. He told me pie wasn't a breakfast food and I replied by saying if it wasn't meant to be ate at breakfast it wouldn't be on display right now. He couldn't argue any further and got me the pie only after I finished my pancakes. It was something my dad did for me every Saturday morning when we went and since Jasper knew me that young he knew about it. I hadn't had pie for breakfast in years and it was so mouth watering to think about.

"I can't believe you got me pie. How did you know it sounded so good?" I wondered and was so touched at the gesture.

"Rose eats a lot of sweets and craves a lot of different things so I thought I'd take my chances that you do too."

"Well you hit the spot." I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer to me for a kiss. I made it a grateful one; long, hard, and filled with lust and passion. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you last night, I know I was all raring to go before we left for lunch. But it still sounds very appealing to be modest about it." I hooked my legs around the back of his knees so he couldn't move but he didn't look like he wanted to either.

"And if you weren't being modest about it?" He asked in a sly tone.

"I'd say I wanted you to fuck me right here, right now." I whispered in his ear. "So don't take it personally but I think the french toast is going to take precedence over you." He laughed at me as I looked at the plate food was stacked up on next to the stove.

"Ok, seeing as how _I _made them I think I can accept that. Don't ask me how long I can keep that up, I have been trying very hard to control myself." He wrapped his arms around me and was tracing large circles on my back not making him any easier for me to resist, but maybe that was his plan. "I better go get the one cooking before it burns." He kissed my forehead before dropping his arms.

_Guess not._

"You still like syrup and butter right?" He asked as he opened numerous cupboards.

"You know it, and the syrup is in the last on on the left there." I pointed to the right one that was behind him.

"Thanks. Actually I wanted to ask you if there is anything you use to like but don't anymore. Rose says even the name garden burger makes her want to gag, so it goes without saying that all the remaining ones in the house were thrown out." He enlightened me as he placed a plate with three pieces of french toast and five strips of bacon on it. "Do you want the syrup on the bacon?" He asked holding the bottle above the meal.

"Yes please." I said quiet chipper. "And I can't really think of anything at the moment but if I do I'll let you know. There was times that certain smells bothered me and I would get sick but that hasn't happened in a couple months." I answered his earlier question. I stuck my fork into the toast and took a bite that normally I would have said was too big for my mouth but I was hungry like always and I couldn't contain myself any longer. "Oh my god, Jazz, these are really good." I said with my mouth still full.

"You know I can count the number of times you've said that on one hand." He had a large smile across his face.

"Exactly, so where did you learn how to cook all the sudden?" Jasper's food wasn't bad it was in fact edible just I tended to make a much smaller mess and I didn't have a 40% chance of burning what I was making.

"I have to admit in my drunken stupor I watched a bit of Food Network and picked up a few tips, this is the first time I've cooked for someone else and someone who's sober so that's part of the reason I got the pie, just in case." He sat down next to me with his own plate only he had powdered sugar on his. I don't know why I had it in the house I never used it for anything but when I went grocery shopping I found I put other things in the cart that Jasper ate and I didn't.

_Huh, guess I missed one._

"You're so sweet." I kissed him again after I finished the bite in my mouth.

"You know it turns out that when they say 20 minutes it really means 20 minutes so I burn much few things now." He mocked himself.

"Well that's a relief, I can't really have you burning the kitchen down we're 50 stories above the ground and that's an awful lot of stairs." I teased.

"I promise I won't try anything too difficult for me." I laughed at him just thinking about how he would look if he did start a small fire. "What's so funny?" He seemed puzzled.

"Just you." I took another large bite so I wouldn't have to say anything else and he dropped it.

After I ate four pieces of toast not to mention the eight strips of bacon, two glasses of juice, and one large slice of the fruity heaven called blueberry pie Jasper cleared the island and loaded the dishwasher. When he was finished he dried his hands and turned to face me leaning back against the counter.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked with a small smile.

"Honestly, I'm thinking about how I could probably out eat Emmett now." I really thought that I might be able to with the size of my appetite. I guess it's no lie when they say you're eating for two.

"I don't know, I mean Rose eats more then I think my stomach could hold but Em still can put away more then her."

I really needed to call her, I missed her almost as much as Jasper, but I wasn't really in the mood to feel sad or upset, my mood was more on the X-rated side as I remembered our earlier discussion.

"Ok, I'm done talking about food and my large consumption of it, my mind is else where now anyways." I flirted.

"Where is it now?" He had already caught on.

"Safe to say it's planted firmly in the gutter." I laughed. Jazz walked over to me and leaned over the island, his face inches from mine as he looked in my eyes.

"And why is that?" He teased.

"Because I'm finding it very hard not to jump you." I brushed my fingertips lightly across the top of his hand.

"Is that actual desire or hormones?" He mocked me with a smile.

"Oh, I own it all the way, but the hormones are a nice addition-for once." I continued to look in his eyes as he closed the distance between us stopping just before our noses touched. We stared at each other silently for a moment.

"I love you Mary Alice Cullen." He broke the silence and took my hand in his.

"I love you Jasper Xavier Whitlock Hale." His name was a mouthful if you asked me but I loved it, I was the only one other then Rosalie who knew his middle name, he thought it was dumb and never fit him like his first name did so he swore us to secrecy.

His eyes ran over my face darting everywhere. "I cannot find one thing about you that isn't absolutely perfect." His hand started moving softly up my arm and it made me shiver as he laced it in my hair pulling me in for a slow but passionate kiss.

"You haven't seen me naked yet." After I said I felt like I killed the mood for a minute.

"No Alice, I love _everything _about you, I mean _everything_. You're no longer just the love of my life, you're now the mother of my unborn child and you have never engulfed me as much as you do now, I couldn't be happier. I don't know how to explain it any other way, but when I 'm not with you I don't feel whole. You're the best place to be in the whole world."

Tears were stinging my eyes. "Shit, now you've went and made me cry." I wiped the tears that were now falling to my cheeks. He comforted me with a nice long kiss effectively taking my mind back to my previous thoughts. "Oh my god my emotions are all over the board." I panted out when we finally were forced to come up for air.

His only reply was a chuckle as he picked me up bridal style as if I was light as a feather and carried me upstairs back to the room effortlessly. "See you still weigh as much as one of Emmett's dumbbells." He said when he laid me gently on the bed and hovered over my body I smiled thinking about it.

He rolled over on his back pulling me on top of him as he pulled my head down to kiss him. This time it was a bit more rushed but I didn't mind, hell he was already making me wet. I felt him pushed the robe off my shoulders and I moved my hands from his face to sit up and remove the too small tank top leaving me bare chested. His eyes traveled over my torso as well as his hands until he pulled me back to him and started placing kisses along the sensitive skin on my neck. Every touch felt like fire on ice and it was intoxicating, I thought I was going to climax before he even penetrated me.

"Oh god Jasper, I want you so bad, I _need _you so bad." I panted into his ear. He sat us up and he removed his t-shirt kissing me when he tossed it to the floor, his hands were on my hips pushing at the waist band of my yoga pants. I got off him laying on my back again making it easier for him to get the pants off. They were added to the pile of our discarded clothing next to the bed. My hands went for his shorts but he had already beat me to it. He held his whole body on his forearms as he peppered my neck line with kisses again working his way up to my ear and nibbling on it. My heart was beating as fast as a hummingbirds, full of excitement and anxiety.

"How do you want it?" His voice was husky and it turned me on that much more.

"Like this is fine, I just want to feel you inside me." I managed to pant out between the waves of building ecstasy. His lips left my neck and he looked me straight in the eye.

"Is it safe like this, I don't want to hurt you or the baby." He said quietly but very concerned.

"No it's okay still, but we won't be able to when I get bigger so now is good." I pulled his lips to me and let his warm tongue danced with mine.

"Ok then." He agreed quickly. "Just tell me if I hurt you." He said between kisses.

"God, Jasper, I'm not going to break now please fuck me before I go insane." I whined.

His mouth returned to my neck and I let out a loud moan of pleasure when I finally felt him enter me. When I was fully surrounding him he remained motionless for a few seconds brushing a stray lock of hair from my face and looking me in the eye before he slowly started pumping. With every thrust he made I couldn't help but let out a moan, it had been almost five months since we last had sex but I couldn't remember it feel this amazing before, though I would never tell Jazz that. He was pushing me closer and closer to climaxing and I knew he was close too as his thrust became more rushed, but I didn't mind I was teetering on the edge as it was.

"Fuck, Jazz, you're gonna make me come." I squeaked.

"Alice, you feel like heaven against me." He quickly said.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I screamed out as the orgasm washed over me. Moments later Jasper let out a large groan and all his muscles in his torso relaxed.

"Damn, I'm sorry, it's been a while and I couldn't help myself anymore." His ego seemed like it was taking a beating. It had been years since he finished so quick but I wasn't going to complain I wasn't left unsatisfied.

"In case you missed it, I came so hard my legs are numb." I said still trying to catch my breath and like I told him feeling pleasantly numb.

"I know, I just wanted it to be special I mean it's been a while, I guess uh...I guess I missed you more then I thought and I didn't think I was possibly to, and now I sound like a girl." He rolled over and laid next to me his chest glistening from the sweat. I nuzzled into him and shut my eyes as my breathing regulated.

"You don't sound like a girl and it didn't bother me, I wasn't exactly patient myself, and it was great." I looked up and smiled at him as he kissed my forehead. "Plus it's the perfect way to start off the day, a nice big breakfast then some morning sex, it might make the rest of today worth it." I knew I was killing our buzz but it had to be said.

"So you really are going to go through with it today then?" He already knew what I was talking about.

"I figured I should get this whole thing behind us as some as possible." I was fairly confident with that plan.

"Ok, when were you going to call?" It was only natural for him to wonder.

"Maybe as soon as my legs start working." I saw his smile creep from ear to ear. "What did Rose have to say yesterday, I've been meaning to ask you if you feel like sharing that is." I didn't want him to feel like he had to tell me, it was after all _his _sister but I was pretty sure there wasn't much she knew that I didn't.

"Not much, she was getting nervous as to where I was." He was being cryptic.

"Did you tell her?" I wanted to know what I might walk into later.

"Yeah, I mean not everything, I told you I was with here with you but I left out the baby."

_So _I _really have to be the one to tell her, great. Fuck Ali, it's you mess anyways you can't expect someone else to clean it up,_

"It seemed like you were kind of upset, I wasn't being nosy or anything I could just hear you raise your voice a bit." I _was_ being nosy and I knew it I think he did too.

"It was nothing, she was worried I was setting myself up to get hurt again, I don't think she would be able to take that right now."

I knew Rose didn't need the added stress that my life and problems had brought these last months and it was one of the things I planned on apologizing for.

"But you came here thinking there was someone else didn't you?" I was puzzled as to why he would come with the chance that I had moved on knowing it would hurt Rose too when he returned.

"I thought it was a possibility but it wasn't at the top of my list of reasons why I thought you left. If that had been the case I'm not sure I would have gone back to Port Angeles, I think I might have gone down to Texas and saw my folks."

"You would have given up everything you ever knew because of me?" That didn't seem right.

"Without you Ali, there isn't a whole lot left to lose."

"I was so ashamed of myself for not saying anything to you, but I didn't think I would be strong enough if I had to look at you and tell goodbye. I know I wouldn't have been." Yes, I was in fact a coward. "But now I wish I would have, because maybe then none of this would have happened, we would have never broke up." I couldn't look at him as I spilled a few secrets so I settled for tracing circles on his bare chest.

"Yes, but then you wouldn't have found out what your dream job is, you'd still be working at the cigarette store, and we'd be bring a baby home to that shitty excuse for an apartment. Luckily it's all working out in the end right?"

"Right, I can't think of anything else I need, I have you, I have our baby, and if everything goes the way you say it will I'll have my family again too. Everything will be as close to perfect as it can be."

"You deserve to have all your hopes and dreams come true Ali, and I want to be there to help you get them."

"Who are you and what have you done with Jasper Hale?" This was a different side of his that I've never really seen.

"I've always felt this way, I just didn't know how to say it to you."

"Alright, well...I think I have a phone call to make as much as I don't not to." I said sitting up in the bed feeling chilly without Jasper's body heat to warm me. He laid there watching me gather the clothes from the floor and got dressed. "Are you staying up here?" I wondered when he still showed no signs of moving.

"Yeah, I figured I'd give you some space, but if you need me for anything I promise I'll be right where you leave me." He told me as he turned the TV on and pulled the blanket up to his chest snuggling into the pillow.

"Kay, wish me luck." I leaned over the bed to give him a quick kiss and when I went to stand up he grabbed my ass making me squeal.

I went into my office to call my mom, I knew she would be the easiest to talk to so I thought she might loosen me up for the Rose drama.

I held my iphone in my hand for a few minutes staring at the photo of my mom that accompanied her contact information in my phone book. I was finding it very hard to push the number. I thought seriously about forgetting the whole thing, but I knew Jasper was right, they deserved and needed to know, I had put it off long enough they were already gonna have some hurt feelings so I knew I would only make it worse. I closed my eyes and let out a big sigh before pressing my thumb to the screen and brought the phone up to my ear.

With every passing ring my chest felt tighter then before and when she finally answered it felt like I couldn't breath. I had that hummingbird heartbeat again.

"_Hello?" _

I tried to relax and remind myself that this woman was my mother, one of the few people in the world biologically programed to love me and I could tell her anything.

"_Hello?" _

"Hi Mom." I managed to choke out.

"_Alice, is that you?" _

"Yeah, yeah, it's me." I could tell by her voice how hopeful she was.

"_Oh my gosh, sweetheart, oh, I've missed you so much, where are you, are you ok?"_

"Yeah, Mom I'm fine, I'm...I'm uh...I'm actually living in Seattle now." I figured she deserved to at least know where I was, Bella did and I was sure by now that Rose and Emmett did too.

"_Seattle? Oh sweetie why so far?"_

"I moved for a job, well a career actually. I plan weddings now for a company that deals with high income clientele."

"_That sounds exciting, how long have you been doing that?"_

"A few weeks, I originally got a job as a personal shopper but I ended up helping her plan her wedding and she got me a job with a friend of hers who owns and started the company."

"_Well I'm happy to hear that Alice, I always knew you were destined to do something other then sell cigarettes."_

"It's great...but...um...actually Mom, I was calling to see if you were busy today?" It felt awkward asking her that for the first time in my entire life.

"_No, why do you want to have lunch? Or dinner?"_

Even if that hadn't been what I planned on asking I don't think I could have said no to her.

"Yeah, I..um...I have a few things I need to tell you and I think it would be better if it was done in person. I have plans to be in Port Angeles today so I thought that since it's half way between you and me that would be a good place to meet." Tears stung my eyes as I thought of the different looks she might have when I told her about the baby.

"_That sounds great, where and what time?"_

She was so happy, I could hear the smile in her voice.

"How about Mario's at four o'clock?" It was the first place that came to mind when I thought of my mom, she loved that little Italian place and we found ourselves there often after shopping trips, it was our tradition and I thought it might help defuse any mild anger that might present itself in the form of my mother.

"_Sounds great, oh Alice I'm so happy you called."_

"I know Mom, so...um...I'll see you this afternoon." I wanted to wrap this conversation up so I could finally break down.

"_Ok sweetie, I can't wait."_

"I love you Mom." The tears had finally started falling.

"_I love you too honey. Bye."_

"Bye." I hung up the phone and just like a faucet the tears now flowed freely.


	7. Beautiful

But you'd have to walk a thousand miles

In my shoes, just to see

What's like to be me

I'll be you, let's trade shoes

Just to see what it'd be like

To feel your pain, you feel mine

Go inside each others' minds

Just to see what we'd find

Look at shit through each others eyes

_-Beautiful by Eminem_

Jasper POV

The phone call from my sister was mildly upsetting, but she did care a valid point in what she told me. Alice was currently downstairs calling her mom meaning today she also planned on seeing Rosalie. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous for Alice. Recalling the last conversation I had with her I tried to think of ways to defuse my very hormonal twin.

"_Hello?" I knew it was Rose calling me and I tried not to sound like as complete dick when I answered._

"_Jasper? Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you, Bella said she told you about Alice." Her voice was strained with stress and I automatically kicked myself when I thought about what I was putting her through._

"_I'm sorry I haven't called, I've...I've just been dealing with some things." I wasn't lying but I wasn't telling her everything either._

"_Are you in Seattle?" She accused more then she asked me._

"_Yeah, I'm at Alice's place." _Well our place now.

"_Why? Jazz, are you forgetting the last five months?" She spoke louder._

"_No, Rose, I haven't but this isn't really any of your business." I tried to keep my voice down remembering Alice was just down the hall in her office but I knew I was still loud._

"_She left all of us Jasper, this isn't just about you two anymore, damn it you know I don't need this right now!" I could hear her voice breaking and what I was sure were tears falling on the phone. "I can't watch you sink any farther, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt again Jazz and I'm not sure you will survive it a second time."_

"_Rose, all I have to say is you don't really have to worry about that anymore, but I really can't say anything else right now."_

"_Why?" She did deserve an answer but our secret was big and it had the chance of being a ticking time bomb._

"_It's...It's just not my place to tell you, Alice has to do that."_

"_Yeah, right. Why would she say anything she just runs away from shit now." She snorted. "Are you sure you're ok Jasper?" Worry still clearly in her voice._

"_Yeah, I promise Rose, a lot of things are going to be different from now on and for the better I swear. But look I got to go right now, I'll call you in a couple days ok?" I wanted this conversation done in case Alice came out. She was already nervous enough to talk to Rose I didn't want her to feel discouraged._

"_Please Jasper, just remember my condition, I hate to say it but you have been the most stressful part of my life lately and I love you so I've kept quiet, but right now I need to worry about my unborn children, they need me to be strong." She was starting to cry again. "I don't want to but if you can't pull it together Jazz I can't have you around until I know my babies are safe."_

"_I swear on my life it will never come to that Rose." I reassured her._

"_It better not, I want my kids to know their uncle." She sounded more stern but that was Rose, jumping from one emotion to the next. "So you'll call me?" It seemed like she wanted to finish this up as much as I did._

"_Yeah, I love you Rose, and tell Emmett to kiss your belly for me." I had never said that to her before but now that I knew what the attachment felt like it didn't seem so weird to me. It was something I had watched Em do many times._

"_I will, just be careful ok? I love you too."_

"_Talk to you soon." I hung up the phone and waited for a minute in case Alice had heard. When there still wasn't any noise coming from the hall after a few minutes I figured I was in the clear and settled back into the couch._

_I knew Alice's confrontation with Rosalie had the potential to go bad and I didn't want to see that happen. I just hoped I was overreacting and worrying too much, but that remained to be seen. Either way I wished I could trade shoes with her so she didn't have to go through this, but my pain was a disaster as well and I wouldn't wish that on her or anyone for that matter._

Alice had been downstairs for almost a half hour and I was thinking about going and looking for her but she knew where I was if she needed me so I decided to stay put. A few minutes later I heard soft footsteps in the hall and Alice appeared in the doorway her cheeks stained with old tears.

"Hey, how did everything go?" I sat up and leaned back against the headboard.

"Better than I thought." She walked over and climbed in bed next to me snuggling into my chest.

"So why are you crying if it went well?" Maybe it was hormones but maybe not and I wanted to know.

"Because I shouldn't have had to make that call in the first place. She's my mother, I should be able to tell her anything."

I felt a couple warm tears fall to my chest and I looked down at her to wipe the rest off her face.

"You made a mistake, it happens, and like you said she's your mother, she'll forgive you, hell I'd be surprised if Esme even got mad at all."

"That's what I'm worried about, I think she's going to be hurt more then angry and I honesty don't know which is worse."

"Well that's why I'll be there to support you. You need to remember Alice, I'm going to stand by you no matter what."

"I know, and don't feel bad but it really doesn't make me feel any better right now." She looked at me with her big gray eyes and they didn't look quite as sad as before but still hurt.

"I didn't think you would." I smiled knowing that Alice was very independent and she didn't like to rely on someone else if she could help it.

"We're meeting her for an early dinner at four o' clock in Port Angeles."

"Sounds good to me." I turned on my side to look at her face closely. "And I think I know a way to cheer you up a little." I smiled at the plan that had just struck me.

"What's that?" She didn't seem like she had caught on and that made it that much better.

"Well, you were complaining about not having anything to wear, so I say we go do some shopping, find you something for tonight what do you say?" I was hoping she wasn't so depressed that she would pass up a trip to the mall.

"Shopping?" She seemed to be thinking it over for a minute. "I guess it could be fun if I let it. It can be difficult to find something that doesn't make me look like a tent." She bashed on herself.

"I can tell you right now it doesn't matter what you wear, you will always look beautiful to me, and I'll still feel the same when you get bigger and can barely move. Actually Rosalie keeps getting prettier the bigger she gets."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She gave me her signature response. "Fine, I'll go shopping." She didn't sound as excited as she usually did.

"Don't hurt yourself in your fit of joy there." I teased.

"I don't know, I'm not sure I can control myself." She giggled back.

I was happy she was joking with me, it meant she wasn't letting the pending afternoon completely consume her every thought.

"We'll then lets get out of this bed and get moving." I figured she needed a little push so I got up first and retrieved a fresh pair of boxers out of the bag that sat next to her dresser before digging for clean clothes. She slowly got up and went to her walk in closet with her shoulders slumped.

"So I'm thinking when we go to Em and Rose's I'll grab a few things from the loft, I'm on my last change of clean clothes anyway." I hadn't planned on being here this long, I wanted to get her back but I didn't get my hopes too high thinking in reality I would probably only get some closure.

"Ok, I'll make some space for you in here and give you a few drawers, but I have to warn you my wardrobe is much large then it use to be." She said lost in the closet still. "One of the best things about being a personal shopper was getting clothes Michelle didn't wear anymore, and she only wore things once." She poked her head out and had a smile on her face. "Plus, having money to buy clothes whenever is great too." She had disappeared again "Ok, I look ridiculous." She came back out in a pair of black yoga pants and a large pink hoodie.

"No you don't, you look very cute." I tried reassuring her while she struggled to twist her foot into a tennis shoe. "Do you need some help there?" She stopped moving her foot no farther in the white shoe.

"Maybe." She sounded defeated as she sat on the edge of the bed with the other one in hand. "I only have problems with these because they are a little tight and now I can't reach down very far."

I knelt in front of her and held the shoe in place for her to push her foot in and repeated the process with the other one, I also tied them for her.

"There you go." I patted the top of her foot and smiled before standing back up.

"Thanks, I'm sure this won't be the first time you'll have to do this for me." She didn't sound happy about it.

"Ali, I know you are an independent woman and it's hard for you to ask for help sometimes, but it's just me. I know you are strong just remember everyone needs help once in a while." I sat next to her on the bed and held her hand.

"I know, it's funny though, I never got use to being alone when I left. I cried myself to sleep for months, I was kinda pulling it back together about six weeks ago I think."

This was news to me, I mean I knew it was hard for her to do what she did but I thought that it was what she wanted in a way, I didn't expect it to hurt her as much as it did and it killed me more thinking about it that way.

"Well neither of us have to worry about that anymore. We're together again and that's not going to change," I was sure of that on my part. I had no plans on ever letting her go again. "Are you ready to go now?"

"I guess, I just feel really fat." She wallowed in her growing size.

"Alice, you're pregnant it's not like you are like this just because, you can't help it, and don't let anyone every tell you that you don't look beautiful this way and don't let yourself tell you that either." It was already getting a little old listening to her piss and moan about her stomach. I knew it was what woman did, Bella did it, lord knows Rose is still doing it but I promised Alice she could whine anytime she wanted, I guess she was taking full advantage of it. "Come on you love shopping, it will get your mind off things for a bit." I got up still hanging on to her hand.

"Kay let's go." She struggled to get up a bit so I helper her pulled her into my chest when she was finally standing. I wrapped my arms around her back and gently rocked us from side to side. She rested her head on my chest and let out a big sigh.

"Everything's going to be ok, I promise." I kissed her hair before resting my cheek on her head.

"I just can't get past this pending doom, it's there clawing it's way to the front of my mind every time I think I forget it and it starts all over again."

"Ali, baby, you need to just relax, all this stress can't be good for the baby, try to think about it that way."

"Ok, but I'm not making any promises on this one until it's all said and done." A smile finally crossed her face.

"Let's go have some fun." I pulled her out of our room. _Wow, _our _room, it hasn't been like in too long._

The first store we stopped at in the mall was one dedicated to maternity cloths call _Motherhood, _it had a few cute things that caught Alice's eye and we spent a half hour trying things on only to walk out with one pair of jeans and a bright pink shirt with ruffles on it. She thought it made her look like a neon sign saying 'hey she's pregnant everyone, look at her'. But I thought it was incredibly sexy on her, it accented her visible bump which was very cute on it's own.

And while yes, I did say I didn't want kids I found my mind did a 180 when I found out I was going to be a father myself, it bothered me that I had no clue on what to expect or what to do. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my own father so I didn't really what to talk to him about it and while I loved my mother deeply I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with her, it felt like something I needed to talk to a guy about. Emmett was only a few weeks ahead of me now so that really only left Edward. Granted I was closer to Emmett and I would have rather it been him I had to talk to but Edward wasn't a bad guy and he was a good listener, hell he even had some good advice at times. If he hadn't been so deep into his music I would have pegged him to be a psychiatrist, and I knew what I told him would stay between us and especially never let it get back to Alice, he loved his sister too much to tell her what was bothering me if it pulled the risk of her getting her feelings hurt. _Guess I should go have coffee with him or something when this is all in the open._

"So where to next?" I asked, I didn't know much about Seattle seeing as how I had only visited the giant city about five times in my entire life, and I sure as hell didn't know where any maternity stores were.

"There's a place called _Hush Baby_, Michelle told me they had some cute clothes, but it's closer to Redmond." She seemed a little happier after she made purchases.

"That's fine, we've got roughly five hours until we have to leave so, time isn't really of the essence right now."

"Really? Ok, lets go, do you want me to drive or can I give you directions again?" We also had to do few turn a rounds on our way here but seeing as how it was late morning and I could see my surroundings better it wasn't so bad.

"I take it it's farther away then the restaurant last night?" That had to be why she was asking.

"Yes, by like thirty minutes." She clarified.

"Then you drive." I handed her the keys to the jeep and we headed back to the parking lot.

There wasn't much traffic seeing as how it was Saturday but there was still a lot of people out doing whatever, so some streets were worse then others but got better once we hit the highway.

It was quiet so I fiddled with the radio before settling on a mixed CD I put together after Alice bailed. I figured she shared a few songs with me that explained how she felt so I thought it was my turn. I skipped ahead to track six which was _Beautiful _by Eminem. Something about it caused me to relate to it some.

_Lately I've been hard to reach_

_I've been on my own too long_

_Everybody has their private world_

_Where they can be alone_

That's the truth right there. I looked over at Alice who was just staring at the road and tapping her thumb on the wheel in sync with the beat. I let the silence continue for a bit and just listened to the familiar lyrics of the rap song.

_I took my bruises took my lumps_

_Fell down and got right back up_

_But I need that spark to get psyched back up_

"Alice?" I interrupted the song.

"Hmm?" She turned her head to look at me for seconded.

"I didn't tell you everything Rose said to me when she called." I confessed, I didn't want to upset her more but maybe if she was better prepared it wouldn't feel like hitting a brick wall.

"What do you mean? What did she say?" She looked confused and worried at the same time.

"She might have a grudge that she's holding." I informed her. "Actually I'm pretty sure she does, but she doesn't know about the baby or what's really going on right now just that she didn't have to worry about me being unhappy anymore, and I told her she had to talk to you about it." I looked over at her and she was speechless with her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Um...well that doesn't really help I don't think?" She seemed unsure of her feelings when she broke the silence.

"I'm sorry I thought knowing would make it easier." I could really kick myself right now.

"I guess I shouldn't be too shocked, I do know Rose after all. Grudges are something she specializes in." She had now regained her composure but I knew it was a mask.

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less when it's against yourself." I knew from experience how my sister was.

"No...it doesn't."

We turned into a large parking lot in front of several shops lines up in a row. The one Alice had mentioned before was in the center and the largest of them all. She parked the car and shut if off but didn't move from the seat or show any sign of doing so.

"Are you ok babe" I put my hand on her thigh breaking her staring contest with the windshield.

"Yeah, as good as can be I guess. Come on, who knows how long this place will take and I still have to shower. There's a men's store a few over, do you need to get something for tonight?" She had grabbed her purse and got out now waiting for me at the hood of the car.

"Do you think Esme's going to care if I wear a worn out Metallica t-shirt?" I had know Alice's mom just as long as Alice she didn't care about petty things like attire, she thought it expressed ones personality and she was all about that. I had to admit Esme was cooler then my own mother, but she wasn't a softie by any means, all three of her children had been grounded their fair share of times growing up.

"No, but I will seeing as how we are telling her we're pregnant." She had a smile on her face, and while it was at my expense I was just glad it was there.

"Fine, I will be your life sized Ken doll for tonight." I surrendered, and she bounced on the balls of her feet the best she could with happiness. "But speak of this to no one, and it can't be obvious that you did it, you know what I like still right?" I had stopped us in front of the maternity store and pointed a finger at her but her smile still remained.

"Yes and I cross my heart." She used her free hand to gesture her statement before opening the door to the baby and mommy themed store.

"Hi, welcome to _Hush Baby _my name is Tanya, is there anything I can help you with today." A woman with curly strawberry blonde hair asked us with a smile that was too big if you ask me.

"Well clearly I'm pregnant, and I've started to out grow my clothes in case you can't tell, I swear I rarely leave the house in sweats." Alice complained to the woman like she was a long time friend.

"It's true, she's very fussy about what she wears, so don't say I didn't warn you." I cautioned Tanya.

"That's what I'm here for, why don't we go ahead and get started," Tanya placed her hand on Alice's back and guided her towards the back of the store and I followed behind. "Daddy you can have a seat right over there in our guy's room. There's a TV and some magazines as well as a couple other dads to talk to in there." She pointed to an area with four black leather couches with three guys sitting talk to each other.

"You ok if I go over there?" I asked Alice, I was here for her and if that meant she wanted me next her the whole time that was what I was going to do.

"No go ahead baby, I think Tanya here is up for the job." Tanya gave me a smile and nod in agreement.

"Ok, if you need anything." I gave her a kiss before I headed for every man's favorite escape during a shopping spree.

I sat down on a couch by myself and the others looked over at me.

"Hey what's up." I asked all of them at once.

"So you got a little one coming too?" One of them asked me.

"I wouldn't be here otherwise that's for sure." I made them all laugh.

"I'm Paul, this here is Garrett, and Sam." The one who had spoken before told me.

"Hi, I'm Jasper."

"So Jasper, when's yours due?" The guy named Sam wondered.

"Uh June 30th." I was looking forward to that day but I fear it just as much.

"Would this be your first pregnant shopping trip?" Garrett finally spoke.

"Yes." It seemed like an odd question if you asked me but it was small talk after all.

"Dude, just you wait, it gets worse. At first they love the shopping and it makes going tolerable, but then it gets really ugly. They start getting angry about everything they try on and blame you for them getting so big and throw things at you. That's why I take her here, because those women back there can deal with all Rachael's bullshit while I watch ESPN." Paul enlightened me.

"My twin sister is about six weeks ahead of Alice so I think this may be the only one I have to attend with her. I told her I'd decorate the baby's room for her and she works all the time, making that fairly painless too."

"You are one lucky bastard." Garrett just shook his head in disbelieve.

"I take it all three of you have done this before?" I concluded.

"This is my second, Garrett's on number four, and Paul is waiting on his first. How about you?" Sam inquired.

"My first too, and to tell you the truth I only found out a few days ago."

"She hid it from you that long?" Paul looked like he couldn't understand how that could be and I agreed, any guy who didn't notice after five months was one dumb fucker.

"No, she um...she left me when she found out. I had told her in the past I didn't want kids and we weren't getting along anymore, so she never told me, she just left without a word about anything. I hunted her down to try to get her back and saw her bump, at first I thought I wasn't mine but she said it was and that she still loved me. She just thought she was giving me what I wanted which was the farthest thing from the truth. I love that woman with every fiber of my being." I couldn't believe I was spilling my story to a bunch of strangers, it was so unlike me but I hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it yet and chances were I'd never see any of them again so it wouldn't come back to haunt me later.

"That's messed up." Paul told me.

"You're tell me." I laughed at the thought of it all.

As time passed Sam and Paul finally got to go, leaving me and Garrett by ourselves.

"Are you nervous?" He sounded casual about it.

"A bit yeah." I replied. "I never thought I would be a dad before."

"I didn't either, but after my daughter arrived I fell in love with it. I kinda had hopes of having a boy this time around but as it turns out I'm having another daughter and we are done after this, four is more then enough. Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No, Alice wants to be surprised."

"Well I'll give you some advice in case you have a girl. It's easier to agree with them on their drama then protest it will only prolong the crying. Leave the whole birds and bees conversation to her mom and keep the remarks on boyfriends to a minimum, chance are they will quit tell you what's going on if they think all you are going to do is criticize them. But that's just me." He seemed to have valid points and I told myself not to forget this chat we were having.

"Thanks, I still don't have a clue what I'm doing." I confessed some more of my thoughts.

"Try reading _The Expectant Father _it helped me tremendously." He said as he stood up when his wife walked over to him. "It was nice talking to you Jasper, and I'm sure you will do fine." He waved at me before grabbing the things from the woman.

"Thanks, and congratulations." I was buying that book the first chance I had.

It was about another 20 minutes when Alice came out with a lot more things then the last store.

"Wow, guess you picked the right place huh?" I took her clothes to be purchased from her.

"Yep, and plus I had to have options for tonight, and now I do and then some." She walked up to the register and I trailed behind kinda proud of myself for making her happy at least for a little while, who knew what the rest of the day would hold. But I would be there for her just like I had told her.


	8. Dead But Breathing

_You love me so but it's over-played_

_Just let me go,we're going nowhere_

_I feel like I'm dead but breathing_

_I know because my heart is beating_

_Just let me go_

- Dead But Breathing by Lesley Roy

Alice POV

I had successfully found something to wear that complimented my bump instead of making me look fat. Jasper had also allowed me to pick out a black shirt that matched the pair of black pants he wore a lot-and he looked sexy as hell in them.

I was currently in the shower letting my nerves get the best of me, I would have been content with staying her forever and never having to face a problem again, but life wouldn't have it that way.

"Alice?" Jasper asked pulling me from my consuming thoughts.

"Yeah?" I poked my head out the side of the curtain.

"Are you ok, you've been in there a while." He looked concerned, wearing only a towel, his hair wet from his own shower. It knew already it was going to be easier to get ready with two bathrooms.

"Sorry, guess I spaced out." I shut the shower off and opened the curtain fully.

"Well you better hurry, we need to leave in a half hour if we're going to make it to Port Angeles by four." He handed me a towel-which I wrapped around myself-before grabbing his toothbrush off the counter and prepared to use it.

"I'll do my make up in the car, I know what I'm going to wear so that just leaves doing my hair." This wasn't the first time in my life I had to finish my face on the go and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. With a baby on the way I would be surprised if I didn't have to do it every time. Bella always seemed to be trying to finish something on the go with Renesmee where it be getting dressed or dealing with her take-home-work.

"Can I ask you a favor?" He gurgled out with a foamed up mouth.

"What's that baby?" I smiled as I stood next to him wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my wet chin on his shoulder.

"Don't do your hair tonight." He said plainly after spitting out the paste and rinsing with a cup of water. Then returned to his former position only this time he faced me and locked his arms around mine lightly touching my back with his finger tips.

"It's February and raining, I'm not going out there with wet hair I'll catch pneumonia." Did he think I was crazy? Or better yet, was _he_ crazy?

"No, that's not what I meant. Dry your hair, but just let it do it's own thing, I think it looks sexy when it's untamed and you don't use a straightener." He laughed.

He had told me this many time before but he had never requested a certain hairdo, an out fit yes, but not my hair.

"Ok, honestly my hair has gotten so long I don't think I'd have the time to do much with it."

"You're so sweet, and I have to say you look very hot right now." He said in a suggestive tone.

I could _feel _just how much he really thought that and it was very tempting but we had somewhere to be, somewhere important.

"Down boy, I'm sure I'll be needing some comforting when we get home tonight and I give you permission ahead of time to take full advantage of me. Because I would pull you to that bed over there right now if we had the time." I went in for a kiss taking in the fresh scent of spearmint toothpaste and tasted what lingered on his tongue.

"I know, I just can't help myself sometimes." He breathed into my ear before gently sucking the side of my neck followed by a trail of kisses. "You know what I mean?"

"Uh huh." Was all I manged to say before I moaned out in pleasure because I couldn't hold it in anymore, this only encouraged Jasper farther. I ran my hands up and down his smooth back digging my nails against his skin a few times.

His hands which had been sitting firmly on my upper arms now moved to discard the large white towel covering my body, I mimicked his motions as we let them drop to the floor both of us standing there naked.

His lips returned to mine crushing hard against them. He brushed his thumbs over my hardened nipples sending shivers up and down my whole body. That was all it took before I felt the wetness dripping down my thigh as Jasper teased my entrance.

"Ok, we can be a little late, what do you think?" I panted out.

"I'm sure Esme will understand if we lie about it." He started to back pedal out of the bathroom into the adjoining bedroom taking me with him. When the back of his knees hit the side of the bed he sat down and I straddled him. It felt different with the baby in my way as I moved my hips the best I could along his length soaking it with my own juices.

He groaned in anticipation before grabbing my hips and lifting me slightly so he could enter my waiting heat. I slid down on him easily and every inch I took I became wetter. When he was completely sheathed inside me I moved my hips in circles feeling his tip tickle new spots that felt indescribable wonderful. I slowly started moving up and down, Jasper using his hands to guide my hips.

I found my mind distracted from the moment for a minute when I realized this was much harder then before but I didn't let it linger long, I wasn't going to let it bother me. It was an amazing position plus I was in control of the movements, and since we were on a time crunch I knew just what to do to make him come quicker-I know I'm a horrible girlfriend; purposely speeding up sex, but the situation called for it.

It was easy for me to angle myself just right making my climax approach fast and it was always the best kind...the hardest...my absolute favorite-even in this state.

I used Jasper's shoulders for leverage and allowed my nipples to graze his chest tickling them.

"Oh god Alice, I'm going to come baby." He groaned out and I was just behind him.

"I'm almost there, I'm-I'm-fuck, I'm there!" I screamed out and felt him too release heavily inside me, filling me with his seed with my own secretions adding to the load.

_I'm going to have to go clean that up before we leave, but it was so worth it._

I leaned against him and we both rested our heads on the others shoulders trying to catch our breath.

"That's worth being late." He huffed, kissing my neck and rubbing my back.

"It was, but lets not be later then we have to be." I didn't want to move but it was my mom we were meeting.

"Ok, I see how it is." He said playfully not moving from the bed.

"You know I wouldn't have moved if I had a choice." I turned to tell him.

"You're right I do, doesn't mean I like it." He made a face as o turned to go back into the bathroom. "Alice." He called out, I once again turned to look at him. "I love you." He added with a big grin.

"I love you too." I smiled and walked back over to him and gave him a kiss that showed him I meant it. "But let's hurry please." I looked into his eyes and saw his were already boring into mine, they were so beautiful. It was very easy to get lost in them and if I stared long enough I would like always, like I was, so I kissed him again to break it.

"Um, kay." He let out a sigh of defeat.

"This is a to be continued thing, I promise-well I'm pretty sure. But at least sex kept my mind busy." I finished my sentence from the bathroom doorway as I went to go clean up. Again. It did take my mind off things but I left out the part where I was quickly back at square one as I got dressed and dried my hair.

Jasper still beat me getting ready and I hurried to pack up the make-up I would need, making sure I grabbed the waterproof mascara.

"See your hair looks great even without the extra hour spent on it." He ran his fingers through it when I came downstairs. "And you look beautiful, that Tanya sure did know what she was doing huh?" He spoke of our earlier shopping trip.

"Yes, she did." I smiled, for the first time I didn't feel weird wearing maternity clothes now that I found something fashionable and not in bright or what seemed like florescent colors. It was a sleeveless V cut white mid-thigh length dress with black flowers flowing all over it, it had a black sash that sat on top of my bump and tied in the back. I matched it with black leggings-since it was winter-the new maternity red pea coat with giant black buttons, and a pair of high heel ankle boots that still fit my feet.

"Hmm, you better be careful if you want to wear that dress again." He said before kissing my forehead. "I might just rip it off when we get home and take you up on that offer you made earlier." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"You already had your treat, who says you get another one now?"I teased as we headed for the elevator, I laughed when he whined like a child.

"But Alice!" He whined as we left the house.

I kept fidgeting in my seat the whole way there, I even had to get out on the ferry and walk around in the cold and rainy winter air and Jasper stood next to me with an umbrella and bared through it though I knew he was cold, I was too. We ended up making it there closer to 4:30 but I had called my mom and told her I was running late, after I hung up I realized I never told her Jasper was coming to, but that would raise questions I wanted to answer in person.

When we entered the restaurant it suddenly felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"Are you ok?" Jasper asked putting his arm around his hips and pulling me closer.

"Yeah, I have to be." I said as the hostess noticed us.

"Hi, welcome to Mario's, how many?"

"Hi, um actually we're meeting a lady with brown hair, but she might only be expecting one though." I hoped we wouldn't have to move, it would just be awkward.

"That's ok, we have you at a four top anyways." She still had a grin on her face. "Right this way." She grabbed two menus and headed toward the back.

When I first saw my mom she had a confused look on her face as me and Jasper walked holding hands-like I thought she would-until we got closer and she saw my tell tale bump then it all seemed to fade away.

"Here you are, and your server tonight is Leah who will be with you shortly." She said before excusing herself.

"Hi, mom." I couldn't believe I was able to say anything at all. Everything was telling me to turn and run and never look back, but I had done that once before and it didn't turned out so.

"Oh, oh my Alice." She said in disbelieve getting up from her seat to hug me. "Is this what you ran away for?" I could hear the hurt in her voice as she continued to hold me rocking me side to side like a child.

"I'm sorry mom, if I could take it all back I would." We both had tears in our eyes as we looked at each other still half hugging.

"Well this explains a lot of things, but it still doesn't seem like you. Alice, I've never known you to run away from your problems, and honey...this isn't something you can run away from." She wiped the water stains off my face and smiled before looking over at Jasper. "Jasper, sweetheart." She pulled him into a hug as well. "It's good to see the old you again." My mom always saw Jasper as one of her own sons just like she saw Rosalie and Bella as her daughters. It creeped us all out when we started to pair off but mostly got over it with age. The guys still bitch and moan it it was mentioned in that way, but us girls now thought it was funny.

"I'm happy to be back Esme, and I've missed you." He kissed her cheek just like he did with his own mother, in fact I was pretty sure he preferred mine to his.

"Come on, sit, sit, sit, we obviously _really _do have things to talk about." She sat in her seat and me and Jasper sat opposite.

"First off mom I just want to tell you how sorry I am, I was stupid and I know now I never should have left." I still couldn't seem to stop crying.

_Fucking Hormones._

"Alice, honey, I can see that you are, I'm a little hurt that you didn't think you could talk to me, but I'm not angry. So why don't we skip the apologies and get to the whys and everything else." She brushed my pathetic excuse for a 'sorry' off like it was nothing.

_So not how I saw all this going._

"Um." I looked over at Jasper unsure of where to start. "I- ok, well you know how things between me and Jazz were kinda bad right?" It was public knowledge among the family that it seemed our road was at an end.

"Unfortunately yes, but I didn't want to say anything, I thought if you had something to tell me you would." That was how it always use to be, and she was right I never use to run from my problems.

"Well...I found out I was pregnant not long after Rose told us about the triplets, and I happened to run into Jessica Stanley the day I took the test and she told me about a job as a personal shopper in Seattle-which I took." Tears warmed my cheeks again as I thought about what happened next. "I didn't stay long enough to even tell Jasper. I thought we were coming to an end and I didn't want him to think he had to stay, and I knew it wasn't something I could hide forever so I wanted a clean start and I took the chance I got." I just kept slipping it out and it was starting to sound like a _Lifetime Channel _movie."I did it because I felt like I was dead but breathing." I looked over at Jasper who looked hurt but quickly wiped it off his face.

"And I was told by a friend where Alice was working and I went to confront her about it." Jasper filled in. "When she told me about the baby I instantly knew I wanted her-and our child-in my life." He had been staring at me though he spoke to my mother. "We still have some things to deal with and figure out how to learn from our mistakes but that's what time is for." He added.

"Jasper Hale, listen to you, you sound all grown up." She had that proud mother tone and what I assumed were happy tears falling. "Well now all my children are giving me grandchildren, how can I not be happy." She started still crying. "So are you going to continue living in Seattle? Jasper, what about your job here?" Now the 20 questions were starting, but these were some I had the answers to.

"I'm living very comfortably there and as you probably already know I love my job, and my future there is looking very promising. So we figured while Jasper looks for a job, we'll be fine with just my income. Oh, wait until you see the condo, it's huge!" I was slowly falling back into the same old routine and relationship I had with my mom.

"I can't wait, me and your father will have to come see it soon."

"How is daddy?" I hadn't talked to my dad at all since I left, according to Bella he was having just as hard a time as my mother was.

"He's doing alright, he can't understand how his only daughter could leave just like that, he tries to hide it but you know your father." She said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"I really am sorry mom, I never wanted to hurt you or anyone else." I felt the need to say again.

"Alice, I know." She patted my hand on top of the table. "We should plan a family dinner next week sometime though. What's works best for you sweetie?" She dug in her purse for her planner and opened it up waiting for me to answer her.

"Wednesday would work, I'm wrapping up with a client in a little over a month so that's the only day I have that I know I don't have anything going on. Time frames are something some brides have yet to discover when it comes to last minute decisions." I joked.

"I will make sure everyone is there. Have you talked to Rosalie yet, she is getting so big, but she's still moving around." I knew my mom was excited for the arrival of the triplets just like mine and Jasper's and just like she was for Edward and Bella's last year.

"Not yet...we...we were actually going to stop there after this." I felt the first wave of dread flood over me since my mother had started to speak.

"I'm sure she will be happy to see you, and you two can share your experiences together. Oh! Which reminds me when are you due?" She made me and Jasper both jump out of our seats at her volume.

"June 30th." Jasper spoke up for the first time in a while, but he knew this was something I had to do and not him, he was there for moral support mostly.

"Are you excited Jasper?" She inquired.

"I am, I mean I've only known for a few days but I'm happy and also nervous." He told her with a smile and his face reminded me of Emmett's when he was asked that same question.

I knew he was more nervous then he let on but I wasn't going to call him out on it, Jasper shared what he wanted to share, which a lot of times was everything, it was just a matter of when he would finally speak up.

"Are you happy Alice? Are you both happy now?" She said more seriously.

"Yeah mom, I really am, I have everything I need. Well almost. I still don't know how Rose is going to react, the impression that I get is not a good one." I explained.

"Honey you've known Rosalie you whole life, she's one of your best friends, she may be hormonal but I'm sure she will get over it." She tried to sooth my fears like any mother would for her child. "And what about you Jasper are you happy now, and don't lie to me." She was stern with him.

"Yes Esme, I truly am, and that's what I keep telling her, but she won't listen." Jasper tattled on me.

"She's always been like that, so hard headed, much like her father." She conversed with him.

"I don't know about that, she has a lot of her mother in her too." He teased her.

"Um, hello, I'm sitting right here as you two talk about me like I'm not." I waved my hand between them.

"Sorry, babe." Jazz looked at me squeezing my hand tighter never once having dropped it since we sat down.

"I'm just happy to see the two of you doing better, and I'm sure that's how everyone will view it." My mom always had a smile on her face but this one seemed different, better almost.\My stomach was growling and we hadn't even picked up a menu yet, I didn't want to change the subject but it wasn't just me I had to think about.

"Ok, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm _starving _I haven't ate since this morning." I told them both who had started to make small talk while I was off in space thinking.

"Oh, goodness, of course you are sweetie, let's order then we can finish talking." My mom quickly picked up the menu and began studying it intensely as did Jasper. I already knew what I was getting, in the 15 years I had been coming here with my mom I always got the same thing. Plain spaghetti with marinara.

Dinner went extremely well ending with plans for a big family dinner on Wednesday at six o'clock. Now me and Jasper were in the jeep neither of us talking and still in the parking lot at Mario's. I think I was in shock at the conclusion of this particular problem, because I kept raking my brain for something I missed in how my mother acted about everything. Nothing came to mind.

"Alice!" Jasper yelled while shaking my shoulder roughly.

"Huh?" I had no idea what he wanted, I was completely spaced out.

"Are you ok, I've been trying to get your attention." Worry had distorted his voice and concern filled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just somewhere else, I guess it just feels like I missed something with my mom, she seemed way to happy." She should have been angry with me but she just brushed it off.

"We're making her a grandmother why wouldn't she be happy?" He looked really confused for a moment. "Never mind I know why you think that but like I've been trying to tell you: look at it from her point of view, her only daughter is having her first baby. She's proud, it's like in the mother handbook or something, it's just what mothers and daughters do." He didn't sounded like he knew what he was talking about when he finished. "God knows my mom and Rose would have been like that if my parents were still up here."

_Wait he hasn't told his parents about ours yet has he? And here I've been facing up to mine, why didn't he have to at least call his?_

"Hey, have you called them yet?" I tried not to sound mad but I was a little.

"No, I should probably do that huh?" He said as he pulled out of the parking lot. "So are you ready to face Rose or no?" He asked when he got to the stop light.

I honestly didn't know if I was, I didn't want my winning streak to end but at the same time I wanted someone to be mad at me about it all, I would be mad at me.

"Yeah, I guess so? I can't be so bad right, I mean she may be the only one that yells at me." I tried to stay on the positive side, it was the only way I would get though this.

"You know I was thinking, she might not be so mad right now because she can't have the stress, she was all ready to kick me out if I couldn't pull it together." He enlightened me.

"What? Rose was going to kick you out?" That didn't seem like her, those two have been attached to the hip since birth, where one went the other followed. I wondered how they were going to deal with the newly acquired miles between them.

"That's what she told me on the phone the other day, that if I couldn't act like a human then I couldn't stay there until the triplets are born. I don't know how much Bella told you Alice, but it was pretty bad, you have to imagine just how bad if _Rosalie _was going toask me to leave." What he was saying made sense but his tone didn't match it. "She might be more mad at me then you, just for going to Seattle and risking it." He chuckled.

_Then who's going to me mad at me?_

"Alice, no one should be mad with you, your reasons are impeccable."

_Did I say that out loud?_

"Still seems wrong to me." I sounded like a broken record, and I for one was getting tried of this happening all the time lately. "But you know what I'm dropping it, I can't keep focusing all my energy on what can't be changed and think about what I can." That's was a closed book now, Rosalie and Emmett only lived about ten minutes away from the restaurant and we would be there very quickly so it was time to just prepare myself for what was about to come.

I would face my sister-in-law, my best friend, my _sister..._and I would take whatever she gave me.


	9. Whiskey Lullaby

**A/N: WOW! So work had been super crazy and my writer's block had extended to all my stories that are in progress. It sucks! I have close to a hundred pieces of paper with parts I want in this story and thing I want to touch on and almost no order to any of it. This story is like a puzzle I'm putting together but there is no picture to reference. Anyway I'll stop complaining and let you get to the Rosalie Confrontation. Please don't be too disappointed but leave your honest review I like criticism. Also a shout out to ja4ever, delta girl74, and cowboy's Montana for being such great fans a sticking with me through my difficult times. Anyway enjoy!**

She put him out, like the burning end of midnight cigarettes

She broke his heart, he spent his whole life trying to forget

We watched his drink his pain away a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Whiskey Lullaby-by Brad Paisley

Alice POV

My chest pounded the entire ride there, I had never seen the house they were in now. So when Jasper told me we were on the street every residence we approached my heart skipped a beat.

"Here it is." He said pulling into a driveway that belonged to a very large and very luxurious home.

"Wow, Rose and Em have done well." I was quiet impressed.

"Yeah. That's where I stayed." He pointed to the loft atop the garage. "I'll show you the inside later."

"A light came on above the back door seconds before it opened. In the doorway-of who I was certain-stood Emmett just staring at the jeep. It was already dark so I didn't know if he had even seen me.

"Are you ready?" He asked me one more time.

"Yeah." I replied opening the car door. I kept watching Emmett who had yet to inch from the doorway. When I came around the hood and met Jasper-who firmly took my hand- Em had finally stepped out of the palace.

"Alice is that you?" I couldn't see his face very well but his voice sounded hopeful.

"Hi Em." I smiled and it showed in my voice.

Em ran up to us and grabbed me in a bear hug-like he always did-but he set me down very quickly.

"Alice, what is that?" He already knew I could tell.

"You know what is it, you see one everyday." I said plainly. We had moved under the reach of the light and his face showed signs of a growing smile.

"My baby sister is making me an uncle?" He was bouncing up and down as he put his hands on my stomach.

"Yeah, congratulations." I told him relieved that yet another member of the family was not angry with me. Emmett was always a big softie and I didn't expect to get any lip from him to begin with.

"Hey, I'm the one who should be saying that to you, I mean my god look at you, you've got to be what at least four months. Oh, I bet that forced your escape plan off the road." He smiled. My brother was a smart man, but he was also a stupid one at times. He was blonde enough for him and Rosalie though his hair was a very dark brown like my own.

"No, it's why I left silly." I punched his huge arm. "And you were close, I'm just at five months." The smile left my face when I thought about what I wanted to say next. "How's Rose?" Now Jasper-who hadn't said a word since we got out of the car-and Emmett's smiles also disappeared.

_God I'm a buzz kill._

"She's doing good, the babies are doing good, we go in every two weeks now. If she goes into labor the babies have about an 87% chance of survival right now, and if all goes the way it should she will be on bed rest in another three weeks." It sounded like he repeated this a lot. "She's inside in the living room if you want to talk to her." He jabbed his thumb toward the door.

"Do you think she wants to see me?" I figured Emmett would know more the Jazz, and I would go on his opinion.

"She'll probably say something, but after she gets it all off her chest I think she'll be happy you're here." Finally someone sounded like they were being honest.

I looked over at Jasper who seemed to know what I was going to say.

"If you need anything I think me and Emmett will be at the bar in the basement." He squeezed my hand with a reassuring smile and a kiss to the temple.

"Oh yeah, my turn to give _you _a congratulatory beer." Emmett said all pumped up.

"I'm going home tonight, so I'm only having one." I heard Jasper tell Em firmly as I walked through the open door not sure where I was going.

The house was beautiful, it reflected Rose's personality so much-which I'm sure was thanks to my mom. I found the kitchen and the dining room that was attached so I figured I couldn't be far from the living room.

I found it after walking down a long hall and saw Rosalie sitting on the couch with her hands resting on her large tummy. She looked mad.

"So you do have balls after all." She snorted. "At least now I know why you left." She added with resentment and anger clearly in her voice.

"You don't know everything." I said coldly and regretted it immediately.

"Then fill me in Alice!" She yelled trying her best to stand up but failed several times. I went over to help her but she pushed my arm away. "I can do it myself, I'm so sick of everyone acting like I'm going to break." She snapped slouching over. Maybe she was already crabby before I arrived.

Since she still hadn't managed to get up I sat next to her. "I don't know what you want me to say." I was nicer this time and much more quiet. I heard the guys come in and their laughter die down as they descended to what I was sure was Emmett's man-cave.

"Why don't you start with why." She suggested.

"Fear." I sounded cryptic when I replied quickly. This was an easy one.

"Of what?" She didn't sound convinced.

"Of Jasper telling me he didn't want me anymore to my face." Tears filled my eyes thinking about it.

"Why in the fuck would he do that?" She really didn't get it now.

"Because the day you found out you were pregnant was the day I found out Jasper never wanted kids!" I made her jump a little. "And the next day I discovered I myself was pregnant. You would have done the same thing if it was Emmett Rosalie and you know it. Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't die right then and there if he said he wanted nothing to do with you because of a baby." I had regained my composure again for the time being.

"I can't." She said through her teeth staring straight ahead but I could see a glisten in her eyes and I knew she was thinking about it happening to her.

"I didn't think so." I leaned back into the couch, so did she, and we both let out big sighs. We really were just like sisters, even right now we were arguing like ones.

"Do you have any idea what I watched my brother go through these last five months?" She asked as she started to break. "I think I would have rather put him in the ground Alice." She was trying to keep her anger in, I couldn't imagine what she went through.

"I'm so sorry Rose, I really am, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here." I looked at her and now saw full tears in her eyes too. "You're my sister, and I want you back, I want everyone back. I just lost my way for a while, I made a mistake." I was wondering if this was going to be more difficult then I thought.

"I can't guarantee I'm completely over it, but I got to keep my little buns in the oven longer so I'm letting it go...for now. You might get more later, so I'm just telling you now; watch out." She sounded much better now and a small smile tried to cross her face. "I love you Alice, and not just because you are my husband's sister or because you're...whatever you are to my brother." We both laughed. "But because you and Bella are the closest things I have to real sisters, and I feel a bond with you two just like I do with Jasper." Tears flowed freely now. "And my god, I mean you're going to have a baby, you and my _brother _are going to have a baby." A much larger smile covered her face as did mine. "Alright, so now that we've got that little thing out of the way for now, you have to tell me everything." She sounded chipper now and I was more then happy to tell how I got to this point now.

Jasper POV

"I gotta say I love seeing the old you again man." Emmett said popping the bottle top on a beer behind his bar and handing it to me.

"Yeah." I said taking a swig and looking at the ceiling. It was hard to focus with Alice up there alone with Rose.

"Don't worry, I don't think she will yell to much, she's not allowed to according to my dad-who's taken over being her doctor now-and she listens to him."

"What happened to your other doctor?" I wondered, Carlisle wasn't exactly an OB/GYN.

"He got cancer, only has a couple months left." He told me drinking almost half his beer in one gulp. "Rose is too worried about the babies to have someone she doesn't know touching her. I really think it has something to do with her past but she won't tell me."

I knew what he was talking about, it was impossible to forget. When my sister was sixteen she was jumped by a group of guys in Port Angeles who then raped and beat her almost to death. Luckily they all left a piece of themselves on her so all five were rotting in prison, but that didn't mean Rosalie could just forget it ever happened. She was were she was today thanks to years of therapy and Emmett. I owed a lot to that man.

"You know Rose, she'll say it if she wants, but you'll never force it out of her." That was a fact, it was a gene we both had.

"Do I ever." He laughed. "So, tell me what youthink about fatherhood now that you are in my shoes." He smiled.

"I feel differently, I'll admit it. Now that it's all a reality I totally take back what I said about wanting kids. Which by the way, the night you and Rose told us you were expecting was the night I told Alice I didn't want any, and I guess she found out the next day so she kept it to herself. This all ended up being bad communication."

"Yeah, but you two were on the fritz before that." He reminded me. "A baby doesn't automatically fix everything."

"No it doesn't, we really haven't had time to talk about a whole lot, but I do know I'm staying in Seattle with her and try to find a decent job." I finished my beer and was craving another one. "I'll have one more, then that's it." I declared.

"That's the spirit." He smiled grabbing two more from the fridge and admiring his hide-out. "I tell you man I'm really freaked that all this might someday be a game room or something, and it's the only room in the house that's mine. Rose had already started making plans with my mom." He seemed truly worried. "But what are you guys going to do about the problems you had before, you going to therapy or something?" He pushed.

"I don't know, like I said we haven't figured much out. Oh, and I'm sure your mom will be calling soon about a family dinner on Wednesday in Forks, she's demanding everyone be there." I warned.

"That sounds like her alright." Emmett loved his mom but there were times she was too much and since the triplets were getting closer to arriving she became a nagging grandma...or so I was told. "Have you told Edward and Bella yet?"

"No. To be honest we really were only concerned about telling your mom and Rose, but I've been meaning to talk to Edward so it's gotta be done soon." I still wanted advice from someone my age on being a dad and Edward was the only one I knew. "Plus it's kinda shitty to keep them out of the loop any longer then we have already."

"Ok, I just have one more question for you then I promise I'll stop." He informed me.

"What's that?" I questioned.

"Do you think you will regret getting back together somewhere down the road?" He said seriously.

I thought about it from every angle; if we stayed together the rest of our lives, or if we broke up again, or if we just stayed friends, hell even if we couldn't stand to be near each other ever again but I got the same answer every scenario I played. "No, I won't." There was no doubt in my voice. "I don't see how I can live without somebody like her Emmett." I said seriously so he knew I meant it-which I did.

"Alright that's all I need to know, just try not to break my little sister's heart anymore, cause if she looked anything like you then I would have to kill you." He gave me the brother threat once again just like he did when me and Alice first started dating.

"I can respect that." I smiled.

"Cheers." He replied raising his third beer before we clinked them and took swigs.

It had been 45 minutes since we had left Alice and Rosalie upstairs to work out their problems and I had only heard them each raise their voices once, now it was quiet and it made me a bit uneasy. So it's safe to say that it was a shock for me when we returned to find them giggling on the couch and holding hands. When I walked into the room my twin looked up at me and smiled such a smile that I was sure I hadn't seen it since before she was attacked. She never smiled the same after that.

"Jasper, oh, I'm so happy for you two." She said having trouble getting up which happened a lot lately, but Alice helped her even though she too was having a mildly hard time. Rose walked over and took me in her arms the best she could. "I'm so happy you're okay now, I couldn't stand seeing you like that." She whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry." I whispered back into her matching honey blonde hair.

"I know, don't worry about it anymore, you have a little one to think about now." She looked me in the eye and I could see she was in deed very happy. "Don't do it again though." She said with all seriousness.

"Ok." I replied before walking to stand next to Alice. "You doing good?" I asked her quietly.

"I'm fine, Rose here has informed me that she may yell at me later but she still loves me." She smiled at me and spoke loud enough for all to hear.

"And we will be at dinner on Wednesday." Rose added.

"I wonder what mom's making." Emmett chimed in rubbing his stomach.

"You're always thinking with your stomach." I told him.

"I know, and it's gotten worse, now that I keep more junk in the house he eats it all before I even have a chance to think about a midnight snack. I swear he's got that thing where the dads start to have pregnancy symptoms." Rosalie said crossing her arms over her stomach which didn't have the same intimidating look as it did before her big belly appeared, but I wasn't telling her that. "But it better stop." She directed at Emmett sounding very much like a mother with kids not a mother-to-be.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I eat the same amount I always have." It was clear Em was lying because he looked at everything in the room but actual people.

"Whatever, you know you do." Rose said making her closing statement on the subject. "So what's next for you two? Oh, Alice, have you finished the baby's room yet?" She asked back-to-back.

"No, I haven't really had the time and now Jazz said he would do it until he finds a job." Alice pointed at me answering my sister's question.

"But you're still doing the shopping right?" She didn't really asked her question.

"As much as I can, but he knows what I like, and I kinda have a start on it and an idea of what I want. It's not going to be too hard for him or anything." She replied.

_Hey, wait a minute._

"I'm standing right here, and can hear you two talking about me you know." I said pointing to my feet.

"What? I'm defending you?" Alice said clueless.

"Never mind." I shook my head. "Rose, I love you and I'll see you Wednesday." I told her kissing her cheek. "Alice, I'll be in the loft packing some things." I added before turning to Emmett. "You mind if I utilize those big muscles for a little bit?"

"Sure." He smiled and we headed back outside. "So you think you'll like it in Seattle?" He asked when he closed the house door.

"Yeah, Alice has a pretty big place that she's leasing with an option to buy and it sounds like she wants to do that. Plus a bigger city means more jobs, maybe I'll find something I actually like doing." I laughed at the small chance of that. "Oh, I wanted to ask you, have you ever heard of a book called _The Expectant Father_?" I asked remembering the guys in the store earlier today.

"Yeah man, Edward lent me his copy but I think I'm getting my own, why you want one to?"

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that they both read it, none of us had a clue what being a father meant other then yelling and grounding and saying 'I'm very disappointed in you'.

"I do, I have some catching up to do and I need to do it quick. I was going to go to a bookstore on Monday after Alice leaves for work, I'll get you one while I'm there. Something tells me Edward might need his back." Edward about had a panic attack when he found out Bella was pregnant, and when it turned out it was girl he stressed even more and Renesmee wasn't that old so I thought he might need it someday soon.

"Yeah, but keep it hidden from Rosalie, she doesn't know I have Edward's or that _he _even has one, we'll never live it down." He had a pitiful look on his face that I couldn't help but laugh at.

"Don't worry, I'm not telling Alice about it either." I pulled my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door to the loft. When we walked in the place smelled like a bar and I took note of all the empty whiskey bottles I never threw away, I tried to ignore them and focus on the task at hand.

"So this," Emmett started holding up one of the bottles. "Is done right? The whole excessive drinking thing?" He had no humor on his face and I knew he was just worried about his baby sister and unborn niece or nephew.

"I promise. There's no need for it anymore, I don't have a broken heart to numb so it doesn't have a purpose now." It was true that was how I felt but it didn't mean I wasn't hurting from withdrawals thanks to a physical dependence I got but there wasn't a mental one. Alice and the baby were the best kind of high, everything else that I had relied on to ease my pain just went out the window, booze, a few pills or a trip or two none of those things were better then Alice herself or my child, they was the best painkiller in the world.

"I'm glad. You're my brother-in-law, and best friend, I would really hate to have to kick your ass over some stupid shit like this." He threatened. "Did I mention I'll kill you if you ever hurt my sister?" His tone a bit lighter and playful.

"Yes."

"Good." He simply said. "So are you taking everything tonight or do you want to come back?" It didn't sound like he wanted to do it now because he was tried or he didn't want this to be the last time we hung out just the two of us I didn't know. Granted I didn't spend much time with his when I was living here but now that I was moving an hour away it would be even less. I wasn't going to let that happen.

"No, I'm just grabbing what I need for a few weeks then I'll come get the rest of it." It wasn't my plan to move it all now anyways I wanted to get back to Seattle and have Alice make good on her promise from earlier.

"Cool." He said putting his hands in his pockets. "I've missed you to you know." He told me sheepishly.

"I know man, and I'm sorry I'll be around more I swear." I tried reassuring him. "Hey, actually I was wondering if you could help me with the nursery, as you know Alice put me in charge of it-well I volunteered-and I want to do a good job and I don't have long. I think it's the least I can do for the lost time." I admitted.

"It wasn't lost on your part you know, and Alice has to own up to her mistakes she knows that or she wouldn't be here, and of course I'll help you dude. I'm a master at assembling cribs and shit, Rose has turned me into her personal handy man and baby-equipment-builder."

"Nice." It was so Rose.

"Yep. Anyways I just have a couple interviews this week, it's for the Mariners so I'll be in Seattle Thursday and Friday but other then that I'm home so any day works if you're not working right now." He confirmed.

I heard Rosalie and Alice outside coming up the stairs still gabbing like old times.

"I will definitely give you a call in a few days and I will see you for sure on Wednesday." I managed to get out before the room was filled with giggles.

"Hey baby, are you almost ready?" Alice asked with a wide grin as she walked over to me and put her arms around my waist.

"Yeah, I just have to grab a few more things." I kissed her forehead and returned her hug.

"Ok, I'm gonna wait for you on the couch my feet are killing me." She had already turned to leave and ungracefully sat down next to Rose.

It was awkward having them all in here when it was so evident my depression had gotten the best of me. Next to my guitar sat three more empty bottles of Jack and I remembered nights when I would play songs I wrote never to far from my bottle and I would suffer to my own whiskey lullaby. I would have gladly just drank myself to death thinking about her then live with the never ending pain I was forced to endure. I would never tell anyone that and it to this day was only something I knew but the way I felt then was enough to have me committed if anyone ever found out that's why I still hadn't sucked it up and told Alice about it, she would just blame herself and worry I was secretly still like that-which I was definitely wasn't-and never drop it even if she never spoke another word about it. It was destined to be the one thing I never spoke of to Alice-who I told everything to.

I gathered the remaining things I thought I might need and found it all fit in two duffel bags which I was happy about, but I was a guy I didn't need much. It had only taken me two days to pack up everything from the old apartment and move it here, another day-in-a-half to take it all out and put it away. Now if I had been moving with Alice it would have been a different story, the last time we moved together it took three weeks alone to get it all together. Needless to say it was a disaster of epic proportions.

"Alright, I think I've got everything." I declared looking around at the mess for anything I missed.

"Okay, so call me if you have any questions, I've practically memorized _What to Expect When You're Expecting_." Rosalie informed Alice as they both struggled to get off my very low couch.

"I'm sure I will, it's nice to have someone who's got a small head start on me." Alice replied as we all moved for the door.

"Oh, shit!" I said making everyone stop. "I'll meet you guys downstairs I've forgot something." It was an item I didn't want any of them to see. I waited until they closed the door before going over to the dresser next to my bed. I looked back making sure they were truly gone before opening the drawer and digging behind my summer clothes. I pulled out a small black velvet ring box and opened it to look at the diamond engagement ring in it.

My mother had sent it to me a couple years ago with a letter saying I needed to get a move on and propose to Alice before she ran off. Obviously I never did.

I stuffed the ring in the side pocket of one of the bags before shutting the drawer and heading out of the apartment.

I took the ring because I had every intention on asking Alice to be my wife. It was something I actually desired now, for my family to be complete, solid. To tie myself to her and show all the people we knew that I couldn't find a better woman in the entire world for me. That I loved her, and I did. More then anything.


	10. One In A Million

**A/N: Ok, another chapter done, I've had a few days off work finally to get some good ole writing done. I've been working on some ideas for outtakes, if you have any suggestions on what you'd like to see let me know, also I'll tell you I love reviews and it makes me happy to hear how much you like it or hate it, I need to know. So enjoy!**

I said pinch me where's the catch this time

Can't find a single cloud in the sky

Help me before I get use to this guy

They say that good things take time

But really great things happen in a blink of an eye

_- One In A Million by Miley Cyrus_

Alice POV

I couldn't believe the way things were turning out. It was completely backwards from what I thought. Rose was ok and so far no one else had yelled. I would never say it out loud but I had underestimated my family's love for me, even though they've never given me a reason to question it , none the less I did.

I knew Edward and Bella wouldn't give me any shit, growing up Edward never said much and Bella had been shy her whole life and hated confrontation, they had their hands full raising Renesmee to worry about my petty problems.

The hour long drive home was filled mostly with Jasper singing along to the radio which I loved, his voice was just as beautiful as he was. His guitar was in the back and I couldn't wait to hear it again. He always use to play original songs for me when I couldn't sleep and it was like listening to angels, he was currently singing _I'll Be_ by Edwin McCain and my eyelids were getting heavy which I wasn't ready for yet-even though it was close to 10 and I had work to be done tomorrow in preparation for Monday.

"Jazz?" I interrupted his song.

"Hmm?" He took his eyes off the road to give me a smile.

"When are you going to play your guitar for me again?" I'll admit I was kind of anxious.

"When do you want me to play for you?" His tone mocked me some.

"Soon." I didn't want to say tonight in case I was too tired when we finally got home.

"I promise I will." He smiled again and kissed my hand that had been holding his since we got in the Jeep.

"Good." I said satisfied with his reply, but unfortunately conversation did nothing to ease my exhaustion and my eyes soon closed.

It was almost 10:30 when Jazz woke me and we pulled into the parking garage. I noticed it was really empty for being so late but it was Saturday

We parked the Jeep and headed for the elevator where a security guard was standing. I was strange because there was never one there any other time. I went to walk past him when he stopped us.

"Sorry folks but you're not allowed in the building." The large man said his tone very flat like he'd repeated it numerous times already.

"No, you see I live here, in the penthouse on the top floor, I'm Alice Cullen." This was very odd to me.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen but I can't let you in, there's a gas leak that has to be dealt with before anyone can go back in." He informed us.

I was shocked, these condo's weren't even a year old yet.

"The contracting company are comping hotel rooms until the problem is solved." He added.

"How long are we talking here?" I was getting upset.

"I was told at least six months, but you can return Monday to get your things after some of the gas has cleared out.

"No, no, no! I'm having a baby in four months, I need a house to come home to when it gets here, not a fucking hotel room!" I was livid.

"Alice, Alice, calm down we will figure something out don't worry, it's not his fault." Jasper told me his arms firmly on my shoulders to settle me down. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day." He turned to look at the guy.

"All my work stuff is up there Jazz, my planners, my folders, contact lists. I really can't handle this shit right now." I was almost in tears, I needed this account to go as planned in order to get Clara Ford's business. This put a serious wrench in it.

"It's ok, I would be mad too." He smiled at Jasper. "I heard a couple tenants say they were breaking their lease and the company wasn't even charging them for it." He tacked on.

That would be what we were doing, I was already way behind schedule with getting ready for the baby and I wasn't going to have one more thing slow it down if I could help it.

"See Ali, we can look for another place, we'll work it out." He sounded hopeful, I on the other hand wasn't so convinced yet. "Thank you." Jazz directed at him before taking my hand and leading me back to the Jeep.

"We'll just stay in a hotel tonight and then tomorrow make a few calls." He shared his quick plan with me as we got back in the car.

"Ok." I let out a deep sigh. "I'm really pissed off though, I put a lot of money in that place only to live there for a minute." I complained.

"I know, but think of it this way, now we will find a place together, and don't worry I'll get all the furniture moved out and everything when we do." His soothing words were helping me relax but I was still having a hard time letting it go.

"Thank you." I tried to turn my frown upside down. "But I'm still mad." I had to tell him. "And if they're paying then we're staying in an expensive hotel." I sounded like a child but I didn't care right now.

"So tell me where to go." He looked at me waiting for directions.

I thought about the different places and finally made my selection.

"Turn left." I pointed the correct way.

Twenty minutes later we arrived at a very large and expensive looking hotel-and it was expensive-I couldn't wait to check-in and fall sleep on one of their very comfy beds, then I remembered I didn't have any clothes with me other then what I was wearing and that wasn't going to be suitable for sleeping. I let out a loud groan and stomped my foot as Jasper grabbed his bags out of the back along with his guitar.

"What's wrong?" He asked closing the hatch and handing the keys to the valet standing next to us.

"I don't have anything with me. No clothes or a toothbrush or even a hair brush." I whined thinking of all the things I wished I had right now, even things I didn't need them but I still wanted them just in case.

"I have something you can sleep in, or better yet you don't have to sleep in anything at all." He looked at me with a sly smile.

"You would just love that wouldn't you?" I still didn't sound happy, I wasn't angry with Jasper though he was getting the fuzzy end of the lollypop stick right now.

"Yes I would." He teased knowing I wasn't in the mood as we approached the front desk.

"Hello, welcome to Volterra Hotels, checking in?" A woman by the name of Jane-so said her name tag- asked politely.

"Yes, but we don't have a reservation. Our condo has a gas leak, do you have a room available for a few days?" Jasper asked her.

"Oh, the place over on Fifth and Bay Dr? The owner of the contacting company who built it is the little brother of the hotel owner so rooms have been set aside to accommodate you until the problem is resolved." She continued to smile as she typed away at the keyboard. "Alright all I need is a name and you two are set." She looked up waiting for a reply.

"Hale." Jasper quickly answered.

"Ok Mr. and Mrs. Hale you two are all set in room 3211. you just take the elevator to your left there up to the 32nd floor and take another left. Is there anything else I can do for you today?" She wondered.

"I think we're good thank you." Jasper informed her.

"Have a nice stay." She sounded too cheerful for my taste with my current mood so I left without ever saying a word to her.

Jasper caught up with me and took my hand again slowing me down.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" He asked in a good mood.

"I'm tired, and I'm cranky, I want to get to our room and go to bed." I knew he had more planned for us tonight but what happened back at the condo killed the high I had being riding tonight.

"Ali, baby, try to lighten up, all that stress can't be good for the baby." He said matter-of-factually.

"That's a shitty card to play." I replied after thinking about it.

"Yes, but it's also a legitimate one." He did have a point.

"It's just I knew I could only get lucky for so long before my it ran out. I never thought it would be this though." I admitted.

"But there's nothing you can do about it right now, so let it go until you have to worry. We have a place to sleep tonight-a very nice one I might add-so let's get some and in the morning we'll start figuring it all out 'kay?" He seemed so sure and it was nice not having to think about it, but first I had to forget it.

"I'm just so drained." I complained some more when we got in the elevator and pushed our floor. "It seems like everyday I wake up I'm tired that much more and my job requires a shit load of time." I continued.

"You're pregnant Alice, you're going to be tired, everyday things are going to be hard. Look at Rose, you saw her, and she still has a few months. Be thankful you won't get that big." He laughed at his sister's expense again.

"I wasn't going to say anything." I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face now. "I thought when you said something before you were just being mean."

"No, I wasn't, she's huge." His laughter louder. "She's beautiful don't get me wrong, but I feel so bad."

"I do too." I admitted when the doors opened back up.

We took a left like Jane had told us to and found our room easy enough. It was as big as my condo and filled with glamorous furniture. It was amazing.

"Ok, maybe...if I had to, I could bring a baby here for a little while." I caved, it looked like a palace and I was in awe.

"Yeah." Jasper said looking around taking it all in too.

I walked further and found the french doors to the bedroom. There was a king size bed with a bunch of pillows on it.

"Oh, look at it Jazz, it looks so comfy." I told him before I sat down on the edge of the bed relaxing immediately. "It is comfy. Let's hurry and climb in." I got back up and headed for the bathroom adjoined to the bedroom. "First though I have to pee!" I had to go when we got to the condo but obviously I had to make other arrangements.

"I'll find you something to wear." He called to me and I heard him set the bags down.

I took care of my immediate problem and returned to find Jasper only in his boxers moving all the pillows off the bed when he saw me standing in the doorway.

"There's a t-shirt there and a pair of gym shorts, and don't worry they're clean, surprisingly." He told me as he got under the covers.

"I'm so tired I think I would sleep in muddy wet clothes." My whining continued as I took my dress off laying it neatly on the bags and put Jasper's clothes on, luckily my belly wasn't so big that they didn't fit but I was sure soon enough that would be true.

"I think you're being dramatic, you and I both know you can't stand to be dirty." He answered as I climbed into the bed and curled up to his chest.

"I know I am, but I don't care." I pouted and he just laughed and kissed my hair.

"Get some sleep babe, you'll feel better in the morning." His voice was calming as he started singing to me again, this time is it was _This Woman's Work _by Maxwell and just like that I was out like a light.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday went by in a blur, mostly because I ran around in circles like a idiot trying to get work done and get out of my lease at the condo.

The owner of the building Caius Vitale, was not a pleasant man. I wondered if he may have taken shortcuts to get the building open early-it didn't help I heard whispers in the elevator at the hotel saying that's what happened-and I found myself happy when he terminated my contract and refunded me all my deposits.

Jasper with-the help of Emmett-had moved everything out of the condo and into a storage unit and I finally had my own clothes. It was recommended that I not go in because of the baby so I had to rely on Jazz to get the right things, thank god I made a list for him to follow. Now it was Wednesday afternoon and we were on our way back to Forks-were we grew up-for our big family dinner. Rosalie had told me that my mother called Edward and told him about the baby and I knew I was gonna have to apologize to Bella for not telling her myself, so that was really the only big thing on my to-do list this evening. That's if I left out the part where I had to talk to my father and also apologize to him, oh, and Edward as well. It was only the middle of the week and I could already tell it was going to be one that I put on my 'Worst Week' list. I had been insanely moody and I unfortunately kept taking it out on Jazz, but he would always brush it off when I said sorry telling me that it was hormones and he didn't take it personally. I couldn't help but yawn and it was only 4:30.

"How you doing babe?" He asked squeezing my hand.

"Tired. Still. I'm hanging in there though." I confessed.

"Oh, poor baby, is there anything I can do to make it better?" He sounded like my mom when I use to cry as a child, but he didn't need to know that.

"Just being you fixes it." It wasn't a lie even though I had been difficult the last couple days.

"Aren't you just so sweet." His cheeks flushed a little and it caused the first smile to crack on my face since we left the hotel.

There was a large line at the ferry due to rush hour and we sat in traffic waiting to get on for over a half-an-hour. It wasn't raining so I took the opportunity to get out and stretch my legs and so did Jazz. I stood by the railing and looked back at the city as we crossed the bay. Jasper was standing behind me with his arms around my waist as he rubbed my bump and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" He broke our silence.

"Baby names." I really was.

"What names were you thinking of?" He wondered.

"I don't really have anything yet, I'm stumped. You have to help me." I demanded. "Well first, has Rosalie picked any out yet so I know what's off limits?" It was a legitimate question.

"Not that I know of. They do know they are having a boy and a girl, baby 2 is never in a good position, it's starting to upset Rose." He laughed once again at his sister.

"You know I think I'm going to tell her that you are always cracking jokes at her expense." I teased.

"Please don't. She'll kill me." He said quickly and looked truly scared.

"It's not so easy being a girl you know. I mean there's the self-consciousness, not to mention the periods and all the fun things that come with that, and to top it all off we have to go through the worst parts about having a child." I reminded him, having lived with a woman in the house his whole life he should have had all this memorized by now.

"Ok, I'll make you a deal, you don't tell Rose I make fun of her and I won't do it in front of you anymore, that's all I can promise you know I have to give my sister shit behind her back." He tried to convince me with his new plan.

"Only because you're too chicken to do it to her face." I mocked.

"Exactly." He said like I finally got it and I laughed at him. "So baby names?" He brought us back to the original conversation.

"Right baby names." I started raking my brain and was coming up empty. "Um...hmm...is there anyone you want to name the baby after?" I hoped he was having better luck then me.

"From my family?" He looked shocked. "Hell no, you've only met my parents they aren't so bad but the rest." He winced at the thought. "I swear I'm not being dramatic but they are all crazy, you can even ask Rose, they're certifiable." He continued on. "When people ask me who my family is I say you, the baby, you're parents, Rose and Em, Edward and Bella, and even my parents, you all are my family. You guys have been most of my life, so if that's the family you're talking about then maybe, but not my biological family." He made me laugh again and he was too.

"Alright, well what if it's a boy, you got any ideas?" I tried another angle.

"What about Noah, or Max." He suggested and I just scrunched my face. "No? Alright well what about Maya for a girl?" He continued.

"Maya's cute. I was thinking maybe if it's a girl her middle name should be Rose, what do you think?" I decided to put it out there and I thought it might smooth things over with Rosalie some.

"I think Rosalie would like that very much. Are you trying to suck up to her?" He figured it out.

"Ok, you got me, yes I am. But I don't want to tell her until the baby gets here just in case it's not a girl." I didn't want her to get her hopes up.

"Mums the word." He smiled. "Come on let's go back to the car we're almost there and it 's freezing out here." He took my hand and pulled me back to the Jeep and cranked up the heat when we got in.

I fell asleep after we got off the ferry and it seemed like no time had past before Jazz was waking me up when we turned unto the long winding road to my parents house. We were the last ones there which I expected since we spent so much time trying to get out of the city.

I tried to hurry into the house anxious now to see my father as well as Edward and Bella-though I talked with Bella on the phone I had yet to see her with my own eyes.

"They're here." I heard Emmett say.

I left Jasper behind at the front door with our coats as I went into the living room where I was sure everyone was. I searched for my father first who I found standing near the couch.

"Daddy!" I squealed like a little girl and ran into his arms. "I've missed you so much." I said to his chest.

"Oh, sweetheart I've missed you too. I only wish you would have just talked to us, you know we are always here for you." He pulled us out of our hug to look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry." I looked down at my feet ashamed.

"I know you are." He smiled. "And I think there are some others who wish to see you as well." He drew his attention behind me to Edward and Bella who was holding Renesmee.

"Edward, Bella, I don't know what to say other then I wish I could take it all back. Can you forgive me?" I asked then both.

"Of course I do," Edward said with a smile as he to hugged me. "You're my baby sister, I'll always forgive you."

"I'm kinda mad, but you're family and family sticks by each other no matter what." Bella stated. "And Nessie forgives you too." She added.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I hugged her and the baby. "Oh my god look at her she's gotten so big." I looked at my niece and held my arms out to take her. "Hello Nessie, I've missed you a whole bunch." I said in a high pitched voice I always used when talking to babies. "She's heavy now." I noted her large weight in my arms compared to the last time I held her but that was over five months ago.

"She's in the 90th percentile, it's a good place for her." My dad chimed in, he had taken to being Renesmee's personal on call pediatrician even though he lived an hour away from them.

"So did you get everything taken care of with the condo?" Rosalie asked from her seat in the overstuffed chair and her feet propped up on the ottoman.

"I did, I told the guy that I had a baby to prepare for and I couldn't wait for it to be finished. He seemed like scum anyways so I'm glad to be out of that mess. I only wish we weren't staying at his brother's hotel, I bet it's not costing him a penny out of pocket." That was the downside but the accommodations were stunning.

Jasper came into the room and kissed my mother on the cheek before sitting next to her. I was still holding Nessie and decided to have a little fun with Jazz-though I'm sure I would pay for it later. I sat next to him on the couch and continued my conversation. "We plan on starting to look for places this weekend."

"Where are you looking?" My mom wondered.

"The suburbs around the city, someplace quite enough to raise a family but not too far away from work. The commute was already a pain and I only lived fifteen minutes away without traffic." I informed them. "Here Jazz hold Nes for a minute I have to go pee." I set the baby down in his lap before he had a chance to object. He was always uncomfortable holding her and now he really had to start getting use to it with his own on the way so I decided to help.

"Um, oh, ok." He held her funny like she was going to break, it got even funnier when she bent over to get her own toes because he thought she was falling. "Wait, I changed my mind." He tried to hand the baby to my mom who pushed his arms back and laughed at him.  
"Just think about it sweetie, in another four months we'll have one of these in the house everyday, and there's no one to give it back to when they start crying." The look on Jasper's face made everyone laugh as I headed for the bathroom. He was finally getting a taste of his own medicine for teasing Rose without her knowledge and I kinda said I wouldn't tell but I never said I would get him back for it.

"You're not funny Alice!" I heard him call to me.

_Yes I am._

Soon enough the oven timer was going off signaling my mother's famous pot roast was finished and I was starving, much like Emmett and Rosalie were so I didn't feel bad.

"Is there anything I can help you with mom?" I asked walking into the kitchen where she ran back and forth doing everything.

"Oh, no, sweetie you shouldn't worry about it, you go sit down and rest." She tried shooing me away.

"Mom I'm not an invalid, I can at least carry out the salad and potatoes." I pointed to the dishes.

"Jasper!" My mom yelled into the dining room and within ten seconds he appeared in the doorway.

"What's up Esme?" He asked standing behind me.

"Help your girlfriend carry these out dishes out, I have to go the basement I'll be right back, don't touch the roast!" She called from down the stairs.

I picked up the salad bowl and went to grab the potatoes but Jasper stopped my hand and held it in his own.

"Not you too, I can carry things." I was getting annoyed now.

"No, that's not it, I want to ask you something." He said quietly looking back at the dining room to see no one was looking.

"What's that?" I wondered what it was that was so secretive.

"Remember when we checked into the hotel and the girl at the front desk called us Mr. and Mrs. Hale?" I did.

"Yes." I still wasn't getting where he was going with this.

"Well you didn't correct her and I was wondering if there was a reason why?" He still kept his voice low.

"Oh, um, well...we're having a baby it's nobodies business if we are married or not unless we want it known." I had to think about it for a minute.

"Oh." He seemed disappointed.

"Why?" I wanted to know.

"Just curious." He tried to play off.

"I know you better then that, what's going on?" I pressed. Just then my mother emerged from the basement.

"I thought you two were carrying these things out, what's the hold up?" She asked cleaning a serving tray for the lovely smelling roast.

"We are Esme, we're going now." Jasper said grabbing two things and taking it to the dining room, I wasn't going to push it further while everyone was standing around, but I sure as hell wasn't letting it go, he had something up his sleeve and I wanted to know what.

Dinner was amazing and everyone acted just like old times, like nothing ever changed. Me Rosalie and Emmett got into an argument over the last piece of pie which my mom refereed and told Emmett he wasn't pregnant and that me and Rose got to split it. That was fine with me. Emmett pouted of course, he suffered terribly from middle child syndrome and with two pregnant woman taking all the attention-not to mention food-he was worse the usual, it gave everyone but him a good laugh.

"Ok, we need to schedule a time to start doing some more shopping, and we should do it sooner now that you have to search for a new place, also I go on bed rest real quick." Rosalie said from across the table as everyone made same talk as their food digested.

"I'll do my best, work's been keep me busy, I'm trying to land a client who's family is insanely wealthy right now." I informed her.

"Who's the client?" Bella asked.

"Clara Ford." I looked over at her.

"As in the Seattle Ford's?" Rose looked taken back.

"The same." I simply said.

"Holy shit! The Ford's are worth like some $3 billion, that payday could pay for an entire house." Emmett added shocked. "Way to go Alice." He smiled nodding his head.

"I haven't gotten the account yet Em, I won't find out until after I finish up with the Christensen's wedding, she's attending it and is using that to see what my work looks like. I've never even met the woman, it's just through the grape vine right now." He had it twisted.

"Sweetie you know you'll get it, planning is what you do. I didn't raise my daughter any other way." My mom tired reassuring.

"Mom, I'm only on my second one, most of it I'm learning as I go. I have no idea about the computer programs they use or all the different venues, I'm really just flying by the seat of my pants." I told the whole table hoping the praising would stop.

"But you still do an incredible job I'm sure." My mom felt the need to add.

I looked over at Jasper in silence begging for him to change the subject.

"So Rose, when do you actually go on bed rest?" He asked.

"Less then three weeks, we're hoping I go into labor early like most multiplies mom's do, but the doctor's are worried it might be too early. I'm surprised I've made it this far without being on it."

"In that case Alice, maybe you and Rose should go shopping this weekend and I can start looking for places and bring you back some ideas." Jazz suggested.

"I like the sound of that." I smiled, shopping for baby things sounded more interesting then shopping for houses and I was curious to see what he'd come up with. "Saturday?" I looked at Rose.

"Sounds good to me, I still have a few things to get too." She informed me. "Mom, Bella, are you in?" Rose had been call my mother mom since she was six, that was when she asked her if it was ok because she saw her like a second mother. My mom ended up crying that afternoon.

"No, you girl's go, I have a few things to take care of this weekend, but next time for sure." She stood up and started to clear some more of the plates.

"Mom let me help you with that." I went to stand up but she put he hand up and it stopped me.

"Nonsense, that's what a dishwasher is for, it only takes a few minutes to load, you all talk amongst yourselves, I'll be right back." She grabbed everything that was left on the table and disappeared into the giant kitchen.

"I would but I have to go into work for a while." Bella hated shopping so I was sure she was lying.

We moved back into the living room and continued to talk for about an hour when we realized it was after 10.

"Alright well we should be going, it's a long drive." Jasper said standing to get our coats.

"Ok, I'll see you Saturday Rose." I hugged my sister-in-law.

"Edward, you going to come into the city with Emmett on Saturday?" Jasper had made plans with Em to house hunt and have a guys afternoon since the girl's were having one. Edward looked over at Bella asking without any words..

"I don't care." She shook her head. Bella was hardly a jealous woman, and Edward loved her and Nes more then anything.

"I'm in." He smiled.

We said our goodbyes and in a mini train we all left my parents house, When we reached Port Angeles the others honked their horns and exited the highway. The journey was a quiet one and I soon found myself drifting back asleep to the sound of Jasper singing. My life was turning out to be perfect, and I would never let it go. Jasper was truly one in a million.


	11. When You Were Young

**A/N: I am on a roll, whew. Alright I know it's kinda shorter then usual but I really didn't know where else to take this without going into what I have planned for the next chapter(which should be longer) I also struggled to find a song that fit this chapter for me, I spent most of my day at work thinking about the best one and this is what I came up with. I wanted to explain to you how I choose my songs. It's generally one verse in link things back to but I try to make sure the whole thing fits, so if you listen to the songs they come from APOV and JPOV depending on if the singer/band is male or female. Ok I'm done blabbing for now enjoy!**

And Sometimes you close your eyes

And see the place where you use to live

When you were young

_When You Were Young – By The Killers_

Jasper POV

Sunday morning I took Alice back to the condo to get her car so she could run into work for a few minutes so I took the opportunity to find a bookstore.

I found a large Barnes & Noble without any problems-thanks to my GPS-and I found myself searching for the parenting section for the first time in my life, I didn't even know where to start, so reluctantly I went to the service desk for help.

"Hi, is there something I can help you find?" When he looked up I was shocked to see it was Tyler Crowley, someone I went to high school with. "Hey Jazz, shit I haven't seen you since that graduation party. What have you been up to man?" He had a large smile on his face as he smacked my shoulder.

"Not too much, I just moved here a week ago." I didn't really know what else to say, I never really talked much to Tyler, though he sat at our lunch table along with a few others like Jessica, Mike, Ben and Angela.

"Are you and Alice still together?" He wondered.

"Yeah, we are, we're having a baby actually and Emmett and Rosalie are getting ready to having triplets,so that's why I'm here, I'm looking for _The Expectant Father, _we both want a copy." I explained.

"Congrats man, yeah I heard Edward and Bella had a baby not too long ago right?"

"Yeah Renesmee, she looks just like them." She technically wasn't my niece but I loved her just the same, and hopefully the day would come when Alice was my wife and she would be in the legal sense though I was still Uncle Jazz.

"So _The Expectant Father _you say?" He ran his fingers across the keyboard quickly before speaking again. "Yeah, we've got it in, follow me." He left his computer heading farther into the store and I was hot on his heels. "So do you know what you're having yet?"

"No, Alice wants it to be a surprise." I informed him.

"When is she and your sister due?"

"June 30th, Rose middle of May, but they think she'll have them sooner."

"You and Em are getting these a little late in the game don't you think?" He pried.

"It was just recommended to me, and Emmett's been using Edward's." I wasn't about to tell him everything that was going on in my life.

"Well here you go." He said handing me two copies of my requested material. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"No I think I'm good man thanks. It was great seeing you again Tyler." I smiled looking up from the cover of the book.

"Yeah, same here. Hey, maybe after the baby comes you, me, and Alice should go out for a drink or something." He suggested.

"Cool. I'll have to tell Alice you're here, I'm sure she'll want to come see you." Alice talked to him more then I did and they were better friends but we hadn't seen him since graduation.

"Congratulations again man, and tell Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie that too." He said as he started to walk away.

"I will thanks." I stayed in the section with all the baby books and scanned some of the titles. One in particular caught my eye; _The Working Mom: How to Balance A Career and Motherhood_. I was so buying it for Alice, and I hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way. On my way up to the counter I passed the kids area and decided to stop and look around.

It had an area for story time and books for kids of all ages. There was a little corner filled with books for babies and a few of the _Winnie-the-Pooh_ stuffed animals. My mom always read the books to me and Rose when we were kids and I wanted to pass that on to my own. I grabbed a Piglet and Pooh and went off in search for a copy of the book. It wasn't hard to find and I grabbed the complete works all-in-one and-with my hands full now-I went to the counter to pay for my purchases.

When it was my turn the woman behind the counter had a big smile on her face when she looked at the items.

"Oh, someone's having a baby."

"Yes." I said proudly.

"Oh, you and your wife must be so excited. Oh, honey did you realize you grabbed two of these?" She held up the books.

"One's for my brother-in-law, he and my sister are expecting also."

"Oh, how fun, that gives your wife someone to go shopping with."

That was the second time she made mention to a wife, I didn't wear a ring but people always assumed we were married. I liked the sound of it better then girlfriend now and I wondered if Alice liked it too as I thought back to the girl at the front desk who called us 'Mr. and Mrs. Hale' and that Ali never corrected her. Then again I didn't either but I knew why, what I didn't know was her reason.

I paid for my purchases and headed back to the hotel to hide the things I bought from Alice. I needed to call Emmett and see if he would help me move the stuff out of the condo, first though I had to have somewhere to take it.

Looking online I found a storage facility that was reasonably priced and not too far from here and they were open on Sunday's. I went to the address and filled out all the forms and left with a key to a small unit. Now I had to recruit muscle to help me fill it so I pulled out my phone and called Emmett.

"_Hey Jazz." _

"Hi, Emmett. Hey, I wanted to ask you a favor if that's alright?" I started.

"_What kind of favor?" _He didn't sound like it mattered anyway.

"When me and Alice got back last night we found out the condo was condemned due to faulty gas lines and it's going to be at least six months until they get it taken care of. So Ali's getting out of her lease and we're going to find a new place, tomorrow we can go back in and I wanted to get the stuff moved into a storage unit until then, are you free to give me a hand tomorrow?"

"_Shit, that sucks. Yeah, that's cool, I don't have much going on this week. What time do you want me there?"_

"Say around noon? We're staying at Volterra Hotel, do you know where that's at?"

"_Yeah, I've passed by it a few times, it's a fancy place."_

"Thankfully the building owner is taking care of the bill."

"_That's a plus. Alright what room are you guys in?"_

"3211." I told him.

"_Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then man."_

"Cool, oh and I got that book for you today so I'll give it to you when I see you."

"_Nice, see you later."_

"Bye." I hung up the phone and headed to my next destination which was a packing store for boxes and tape. I wanted to make sure I was all ready to go tomorrow when Emmett got here. Alice was already in the room when I got back, it was obvious she did some shopping too. She was still upset about the condo but I was able to distract her that night with sex.

Monday morning came and after Alice left for work I sat down and watched TV until Emmett called me and said he was 20 minutes away. After that time had roughly passed there was a loud banging on the door that could only be him.

"Open up, Mr. Hale! It's the police!" He said in an cop-like voice.

When I did open the door I had a smile on my face. "You know that might have worked if you didn't call to say you were almost here."

"Really, it would have?" He asked.

"No." I laughed. "Come on in, I have to get my coat and find were Alice put the key. First I'll get that book for you." I headed for the bedroom where I last saw her with them, leaving Emmett in doorway.

"Wow man, this place is amazing, I might have to bring Rose here sometime." He was looking around at everything when I came back out with his book in hand. "Thanks."

"No problem and don't worry about paying me back." I told him as he reached for his wallet. "Somehow I don't think you are going to be able to pry Rosalie away from the babies anytime soon." I returned to the bedroom in search of the key.

"I know, and plus the doctor said we have to wait like six weeks until we can have sex again." He sounded bummed out by it as he now leaned up against one of the doors.

"Why?" I wondered.

"It's like that with all women after they give birth, there's a risk for infection because the cervix or something isn't closed yet, not to mention the bleeding. I'm telling you now so you don't get hit up side the head when you ask the doctor about it like I did when I asked my dad."

"That's really going to suck." I stared off into space for a second thinking about it. I snapped out of it and continued to search for the damn keys. "Well, that just...blows."

"So I take it everything is back to normal with you guys in the sack?" Even though Emmett was Alice's big brother he was still my best friend, and I shared a lot with him it went both ways. Including the problems me and Alice were having in the bedroom back in Port Angeles.

"Yeah, it's better actually, don't take this the wrong way but something about it now, and how beautiful she looks pregnant makes it seem...I don't know more orgasmic?" I tried to find the right words to describe it.

"I know what you are talking about, it's the same way with me and Rose, she doesn't get it of course and it's getting harder now that she's so big. My dad also said that when she goes on bed rest we should also abstain because it could induce labor. So I'm trying to get as many rounds in as she'll let me."

When we all first started having sex it was weird talking about it because we were sleeping with each others sisters, so we agreed to never say anything distasteful or without humor if we thought it would make the other mad, had it been any other guys saying that about my twin I would have broke their nose, and he never dished what he couldn't take.

"Sex is like the only thing on Alice's mind lately, but I have to admit mine hasn't been too far away from hers. She's been nothing but moody though since all this shit started with the condo, and now she just won't slow down and take a breather." I finally found the keys on the back of the toilet, the last place I thought to find them. "Shit, finally, ok let's go, I've got boxes in the Jeep already so if you want to just follow me with your truck." I told him.

"Sure, I'm here for you today man, whatever you need."

"And I appreciate it Emmett, we both do." I looked him sincerely in the eye.

"I know you do, otherwise I wouldn't have come."

_Duh._

Since Alice had a lot of things still in boxes-thanks to her lack of spare time-so we only spent four hours packing it all up to Ali's specifications. She had instructed me to label the boxes and only fill them with things that pertained to that label, kitchen, bath, bedroom, baby's room-that took the least amount of time-, her office was her biggest concern she I had to put everything on the top of the desk in one box and every drawer had to have their own too. I wished I had never told Emmett about Alice's worries with her work things because after that he went to find something else to do and said I could do the office. I didn't see him until I had moved the last of 20 boxes out of the room.

Because it was late in the afternoon now more people had come to collect their belongings to get them through their time away, and because me and Alice were on the top floor it took forever to get the doors to finally open. We pissed off a lot of those said people along the way when we would fill it with mostly Alice's shit. By 6:30 we were picking up the last load to take to the storage unit. Alice wanted to hire someone to move the furniture so if something happened to it she would be insured, since it was a $5,000 couch I didn't protest. I invited Emmett out to dinner with me and Alice but he declined saying he wanted to get back to Rose who was at the house with Esme.

I returned exhausted to the hotel to find Alice asleep on the couch with a baby book resting on her stomach. She didn't hear me come in and so I set the four bags I brought with me down and walked over to her, knelt down by her head and watched her like I use to for a few minutes. I brushed a stray strand of hair from her face and gently touched her cheek with my fingertips. Her eyes started to flutter and finally opened to look at me.

"Hi." She said sleep heavy in her voice.

"Hi." I replied quietly.

"What are you doing?" She kept our volume to a whisper.

"Just watching you, I like it. Every line, every curve of you face is perfect, you look like an angel." I smiled cupping her cheek in my hand and she leaned into it and tangled my other hand in her own.

"I was dreaming about you." She informed me.

"Was it a good dream?" I was curious.

"A very good dream. You me and the baby we're all together and it was Christmas time. We lived in a big house and we we're married. Everything was perfect." She closed her eyes and smiled as I was sure she was reliving it in her head.

"That sounds wonderful." I had a large smile on my face for now knowing that marriage was something she still wanted.

"It really was." She smiled back.

I wanted to take the opening I had in front of me to propose to her but I didn't really know what I wanted to say, and I needed to get it right.

"Are you hungry?" I said instead.

"Actually I ate around 5, I couldn't wait any longer, I'm sorry." She turned her smile into a frown.

"Don't be sorry baby, you eat when you need to, don't worry about waiting for me, I'm dead tired anyways." I yawned.

"Me too." She caught my yawn.

"I'm ready to snuggle up to you and get a good nights rest. Oh, and I have clothes for you." I knew that would make her perk up again.

"Thank you, I'm so ready to have something different to wear, I went shopping as you know but I couldn't find anything that didn't feel funny and that store I liked was closed." She was getting herself upset again.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I brought you a wide selection." I stood up and held my hand out for her to take. "Shall we retire my queen?" I played.

"Yes we shall my king." She indulged me. I helped her get up and when she was on her feet I went back to the front door to retrieve the bags.

When I entered the bedroom Alice was sitting on the bed looking like she might fall asleep that way.

"Alice, baby, I really think you need to start taking this pregnancy seriously and slow down, you don't want there to be any complications do you?" I asked her, no longer able to keep my silence as her fast lane lifestyle she conducted for her career began to take a bigger toll and it was only Monday.

"I'm fine Jazz, it's just all this stuff with the condo has me stressed and worn out. Don't worry, I'm paying attention to my body, everything's going to be fine." She tried reassuring me and I decided to let it go for now mainly because I was too tired to get in an argument with her that she would be stubborn about.

"Here's your bags." I set the three out of four that were her's on the bed and put mine on the floor, not currently needing anything out of it. The hotel supplied us with toiletries and I had clean clothes from the loft with me still.

We got in bed and turned the TV on to some old black and white movie on TMC and I held my perfect angel in my arms who had fallen asleep again within minutes of laying down. I was awake for another fifteen before sleep too consumed me.

Wednesday at dinner Alice made her peace with the remainder of the family and we made small talk in the living room as we waited for the meal. Alice had taken Nessie from Bella and sat down on the couch with me and Esme and explained what kind of place we were looking for when all the sudden I found Renesmee being set in my lap.

"Here Jazz, hold Nes for a minute, I have to go pee." Alice told me. I never felt quiet right holding the baby so I generally tried to avoid it and no one but Alice and Rosalie gave me shit for it. But now I had my own on the way and I had to get use to it.

"Um, oh, ok." I didn't know how to hold her and since she was able to support herself some she was just sitting in my lap, when she bent over and I almost lost my hold on her I decided I was chickening out. "Wait I change my mind." I tried to hand her to Esme who just shook her head at me and pushed my arms away.

"Just think about it sweetie, in another four months we'll have one of these in the house everyday, and there's no one to give it back to when it starts crying." She had a smug tone.

I now knew why she had done this and I while I deserved it I still wasn't happy. "You're not funny Alice!" I called to her as she headed for the bathroom looking down at the infant in my hands. I needed help and advice. Bad.

I too had excused myself to go to the bathroom when Alice returned and I handed Renesmee back to her before she realized it. When I came out I found Rose standing in the hall waiting.

"Oh, sorry Rose, it's all yours." I went to leave but she grabbed my shirt.

"Me and Emmett have decided on a name for baby 1." She said quietly which confused me.

"And what's that?" I became curious.

"Xavier Jackson." She said with a small smirk on her face as my eyes grew big. "Don't worry I didn't tell Em why I insisted on it but I'm telling you ahead of time so it's not such a shock. I promise I'll keep the reason to myself." She made a cross over her heart with her finger.

I was completely speechless, a week ago she had been ready to kick me out of her _garage_ and now she wanted to name one of her children after me.

"You're my only brother and I wanted to honor you by doing this." She added.

I remained quiet but reached out and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you Rose." I said into her hair.

"I love you too, and I'm so happy you finally have found your way." I could hear the smile in her voice with our hug still unbroken. "Now, get out of the way, pregnant woman coming through with a full bladder." She said practically shoving me into the wall as she went into the bathroom and slammed the door.

When I went back into the living room I had found everyone moved toward the dinner table so I went over to join them all. I was looking for Alice-who was nowhere to be found-when I heard my name being called loudly.

"Jasper!" Esme screamed.

I went into the kitchen where I found Alice standing at the island across from her mother.

"What's up Esme?" I asked.

"Help your girlfriend carry these dishes out, I have to go to the basement, I'll be right back, don't touch the roast!" She informed us as she opened the door that led to the basement and disappeared.

Alice began gathering things in her hands but I wanted to ask her something. Since Esme had called her my girlfriend it reminded me of what the girl at the desk called us and that Alice didn't correct her, so I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Not you too, I can carry things." She sounded annoyed.

"No that's not it, I wanted to ask you something." I kept my voice down and made sure no one was spying.

"What's that?" She wondered.

"Remember when we checked into the hotel and that girl called us 'Mr. and Mrs. Hale?" I started.

"Yes." She still hadn't caught on, but I was being vague.

"Well you didn't correct her and I was wondering if there was a reason why?" I finished.

"Oh, um, well...we're having a baby, it's nobodies business if we are married or not unless we want it known." She replied after thinking about it.

"Oh." It wasn't the answer I was really wanted but it explained it.

"Why?" There was a quizzical look on her face.

"Just curious." I tried to let it go but she wouldn't have it.

"I know you better then that, what's going on?" Luckily Esme had returned from the basement and prevented us from continuing the conversation.

"I thought you two were carrying these things out, what's the hold up?" Esme questioned wiping down a serving tray.

"We are Esme, we're going now." I picked up a few things and returned to the dining room with Alice a few seconds behind me.

We all enjoyed the laughter that filled the room during the meal, I held Alice's hand as everyone asked questions about her job and the baby trying their best to fill in the gaps from the last five months.

We regrouped in the living room again and while the girls all chatted, Edward and Carlisle carried on a discussion about the difference between older classical music and today's 'version'. Edward was in the music business and was currently composing a piece for the Port Angeles Symphony's next concert this summer.

I sat on the loveseat in front of the TV next to Emmett with the day's sports highlights on and the volume way down.

"So when we're you gonna come by the house and pack up the rest of your stuff?" Em asked me. I ran my hands through my hair as I thought about it, I had totally forgotten since we were busy trying to move out of the condo. "I mean you can keep it there as long as you want, I don't care, I was just wondering if you were putting it with everything in the storage unit." He clarified.

"Um, shit I don't know, hopefully soon but we've-well now I should say _I_-have to find a place for us first. Hey, since the girls are going shopping do you want to come into the city and...I don't know, help me or something, have a guys day too?" I sounded like a chick but I wanted to spend more time with Em. I didn't know if it was because I felt bad for how I had acted or the fact that soon our hands would be very full that had me craving guy time, either way, there it was.

"Sounds like a date." He smiled.

As everyone got ready to go and wrapped up their discussions, I decided guy time needed to include Edward too.

"Edward, you going to come into the city with Emmett on Saturday?" I asked as we got our coats on.

He looked over to Bella for approval which I would have laughed at if I knew it wouldn't get me in trouble by at least one person. Of course she didn't care, it wasn't like he was going to do anything he wasn't suppose to. Actually that's a lie, there were a few things Edward did that Bella didn't know about, stuff guys keep between the guys...and Alice. It was nothing big, he would never in a million years cheat on her or anything, but there were things he liked to do that were no longer acceptable since they had Renesmee.

"I'm in." I knew he was jumping up and down like a girl inside and that he would be counting down the days til then.

We said goodbye to everyone and after the others got off the highway in Port Angeles Alice had once again fallen asleep so I continued to sing along with the low radio. I thought about how I might want to propose to her and everything just didn't seem good enough, she was perfect and she deserved a perfect proposal, one she would tell our children about one day and it sounded like a fairy tale or something. I didn't want to take any advice from Emmett-who had severally screwed his up-Rose was still pissed about it and she almost said 'no' because it was so bad. From what I'm told Edward got it right after about a dozen tries so that was better. Carlisle never spoke of how he did for Esme but they seemed really happy, he now was the best answer I had and on top of it I wanted to ask his permission to marry his daughter first. I was raised like a southern gentlemen and I planned on staying that way. I drove the rest of the way home deep in thought as Alice continued to slumber, I wanted to ask her soon, I just didn't know how. I needed help.


	12. If I Were A Boy

**A/N: I don't have much to say other then I really wanted to use this verse but the rest of the song doesn't pertain much to Jalice, I just like the chorus for this chapter. Til next time enjoy.**

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

_If I Were A Boy – Beyonce _

Alice POV

The Christensen's wedding was fast approaching and I ran around making sure finishing touches were on everything. I was two weeks ahead of schedule but I needed to impress Clara Ford. It was now Saturday morning and Jasper and I were getting ready for our planned day.

"So, are you girls meeting us for dinner or no?" Jasper asked as he shaved his face and I tried to tame my beastly hair.

"That sounds fun." I yawned. "God, what I wouldn't do for a cup of coffee." I went to leave the bathroom-that I had to share with Jazz-in search of something to wear.

"More like a couple hours sleep." He said under his breath but loud enough he knew I would still hear. I turned to face him and he had a sheepish look on his face before he resumed shaving.

"Honey, I'm fine." I smiled to try and reassure him.

He stopped again and looked at me with a serious glare. "I hope for the baby's sake you're right." He said kinda coldly and went back to his task.

He was mad because I hadn't come home from work til after 11 o'clock last night and didn't even bother to call him. I had gotten use to being on my own sort of and he was never _this _protective of me when we were living in Port Angeles, maybe it was the bigger city or maybe it was the baby both were excellent reasons to be pissed so I accepted his tone this morning.

"I'm going to go get dressed, are you coming down to the lobby for breakfast with me?" I said in a shy voice.

He rinsed his face off and dried it before turning and giving me a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I got mad." He came over and pulled me into a hug. "I was just worried that's all, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you or the baby." He was looking me in the eye and I could tell that was really the only reason behind his anger.

"Don't tell anyone this...but maybe you're right." I let go of him to go sit on the bed he came and sat next to me.

"What do you mean?" He knew what I was talking about but he was going to make me say it.

"It's possible...that maybe...I'm doing too much and it's all catching up with me now that I'm almost in my third trimester." I finally managed to say.

"I'm sorry, I still didn't hear you?" He put his hand to his ear mocking me.

"Yes you did." I smiled and shoved him as he too laughed.

"Alice, it's ok to take a break once in a while." All seriousness in his voice.

"I know, and I promise I will, just...after I land the Ford account." I stated my terms.

"Only when that happens then you will say _after_ the Ford wedding, and by that time the baby will already be here one way or another." He didn't sound convinced.

"No, I can't keep all this up if I expect to have a healthy mature baby, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Dr. Stevens says something to me." I told him. "I'm hoping Clara will want to wait a few months before starting but I don't know if she's got a date in mind or not."

"I know if you get this it's going to be really big money for you. It's just...I need you to take care of the baby right now, I'm not asking you to drop the account by any means, I'm not. All I'm saying is our baby needs you to help it grow, I'm asking you to do that for him or her and me too because Alice, I can't do this part, you're the only one who can. When the baby gets here go nuts with work if you want." He tossed his hands up in the air as he laughed. "Can you do that for me?" He now held my hand in his on my lap.

I didn't want him to think that the most important thing was my career because it wasn't, I just like doing something I'm good at and happen to get paid in a three figure salary without commissions. This one account though could be more then all that.

"Of course, Jasper I love you and the baby more then _any_ job. But I've seen how much they plan on paying." I hadn't told him this yet because I didn't have it in the bag but maybe if he knew he'd understand.

"How much?" He curiosity got to him.

"About $200,000 if everything goes the way they want, it's more then I will make in a year, it will pay off a large portion of a house." I smiled thinking about it but I had to remember it wasn't set in stone. He eyes grew wide as I told him the amount.

"Holy shit." Was all he said.

"And it's not just my money, it ours." He corrected his earlier statement about it being mine.

"No, Alice, it's yours." He shook his head.

"Jasper, for 7 years we've put everything in one account, just because this money isn't doesn't change that anymore." I argued.

"Well, I'm still getting a job and doing something, I'm not mooching off you or anything." He clarified.

"I never saw it that way." I gave him one of my looks he loved as I ran my fingertips up his thigh. We had a while before the gang showed up, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie were all coming together and we were to break off here so I decided to give in to my hormones if he would.

"I swear as soon as I have a chance to look I'm getting one." He tried to keep his composure as my fingers continued to dance around his crotch and I closed the distant between our faces.

"I don't doubt that." I said my breathing growing heavy as I brushed his lips with my own. One of his hands was now gripping my thigh and the other my shoulder as he pulled me in for a longer kiss.

"You better not." He said between kisses and he pushed me down on my back.

I moved more toward the middle as I tried to get my shirt off. I was having trouble so Jazz helped me by ripping one of the straps off it when he pulled it over my head. He had my pants off moments later and he came back in for a much harder kiss. He looped his fingers in the side of my panties and pulled them down to my ankles where I kicked them off. His dragged his fingers up my leg painfully slow finally and arrive at my clit.

His fingers sent shivers up and down my spine from the pure pleasure of it, I couldn't help but let out a loud moan and bucked my hips unconsciously. He gave me another kiss this one more passionate and he left my lips quickly and started a trail of them down my neck, past my breasts, over my belly, and stopped to tease my clit some more. He opened my legs wider and spread my lips with his fingers, his tongue was Jasper's secret weapon to everything. It didn't matter how many times he ate me out I always came within the first five minutes. He was driving me mad as his tongue darted in and out of my folds.

"Oh my god Jazz." I huffed out.

"You taste so good baby." His voice slightly muffled.

He massaged my thigh and pushed it back several times when my legs tried to close from the ecstasy and he returned to light flicks of his tongue over my clit that made my legs twitch when he hit the nerve, I was moments away, no seconds.

"Fuck!" I screamed when I came and my breathing very irregular. I was shocked when he came and laid down next to me, entwining one of my hands. "Wait you-"

"I just wanted to really eat you out, I haven't had a chance to since we've been back together." He cut me off with a smile and played with a lock of my hair. "But Emmett knows what room we're in so if we don't want him to call us out on it if we get caught then we better get dressed in case they get here early." We both rolled our eyes know just what Em would say.

We got dressed for the day and headed down to the continental breakfast they had along with a fancy restaurant that was open all day but we had plans today so we opted for the quick meal.

We weren't in the room long before there was a loud pounding on the door that could only be Em. I opened the door to three smiles all getting in line to hug me and touch my stomach, Rose take the longest. We sat for a little bit chatting about mindless things when I realized we had actually been sitting there for almost any hour, it was already noon.

"Are you ready to go?" Rose asked as the guys showed no signs of moving from the couch.

"Yeah, I just need to grab my purse." I said going back into the bedroom to get it and went over to Jasper who was sitting in a chair. "I'll see you at dinner?" I leaned in and asked.

"Yeah, in the lobby right?" He turned to look at me inches from my face. I shook my head in agreement. "Ok, I'll see you then. I love you." He smiled before giving me a long kiss.

"I love you too." I looked into his beautiful eyes before standing straight again.

"And I love you little baby." He directed to my tummy and put his hands on it which I covered with my own and squeezed for a second.

"I'll see you guys tonight." I headed for the door. "And be good." I turned to point at them like children.

"We will babe I promise." Jasper called.

"Emmett, I'm not in the mood so you know what you can get away with." Rose said digging into her large purse for something.

"Ok, I love you." He didn't give any lip, that didn't happen very often so I thought maybe he got in trouble already today and it was only 12.

"I love you too." She said before looking up at me, "I'm ready whenever you are."

"Alright, we're taking the jeep if that's alright, I figured if we got something big it won't fit in my car." I already had it planned out.

"That's cool, oh I did some internet surfing and found a few cute little shops we should look at, I got maps too." Rose said as we closed the door.

"Sounds good, I need to spend some money, it'll make me feel better." I confirmed.

"That's my girl." She smiled excited at my enthusiasm.

Yes, a large shopping spree was what I needed.

Jasper POV

My guy day was getting ready to officially start as soon as Rose and Alice-who was getting her purse-left, I had things I wanted to talk about with just guys and well, right now there was girls in the room. Alice came and leaned over my shoulder.

"I'll see you at dinner?" She batted her lashes at me.

"Yeah, in the lobby right?" I said not moving an inch from her closeness and she nodded confirmation. "Ok, I'll see you then. I love you." I gave her a loving kiss to show her that.

"I love you too." When she stood up I looked at her belly and I decided maybe if I talked to the baby I would feel more connected to it, because right now I was a father-to-be and I was doing alright at that, but I didn't know how to be an actual father and I really didn't feel like one, and I didn't want to tell Alice that was how I felt.

"And I love you little baby." I put my hands on Alice but talking to it felt weird, it was something everyone else did so why couldn't I?

"I'll see you guys tonight and be good." She said stabbing a finger at us.

"We will babe I promise." I tried to hide my smile knowing that we probably wouldn't.

"Emmett, I'm not in the mood so you know what you can get away with." Rose sounded irritated already.

"Ok, I love you." Emmett just gave in, surprisingly.

"I love you too." She didn't even look at him. "I'm ready whenever you are." She told Alice.

"Alright, we're taking the jeep if that's alright, I figured in case we got something big it won't fit in my car." Alice explained to her.

"That's cool, oh I did some internet surfing and found a few cute little shops we should look at, I got maps too." I heard Rose tell her as they shut the door.

"So what's on the agenda today, other then the obvious." Emmett asked with a dangerous smile on his face and Edward who was still silent had one growing too.

"Well I have a few places in mind that I want to check out but I don't know, I guess I never really planned anything." I told them.

"Wait, first you gotta see the new sonograms, Rose told me I had to show you and Edward has to observe, which I would have showed you anyways." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handful of photos. "That's Xavier, which I don't know why Rose insisted on that name but she did, hey Jazz do you know?" I looked up shocked and quickly wiped it off my face.

"No, I have no idea, Rose is Rose." I lied.

"That's baby 2 which we have no idea if it's a boy or a girl, and this is baby 3 which is a girl and we don't have a name for her yet and this is one of all three as best as they could get." They looked like aliens to me but I wasn't going to tell Emmett that and risk hurting his feelings, plus mine was younger so it probably looked worse.

"They are very cute Em." I lied again.

"No they're not, they look like blobs or something." He laughed.

"I thought alien." I admitted since he was thinking the same thing. "So what do you guys want to do?"

We all looked at each other for a second before we smiled and ran for the door like a bunch of boys and in the hallway we almost took out a elderly couple who I turned and apologized to before we continued our sprint down the hall to the elevator.

"I need a cigarette." Edward said fidgeting in place.

"I'm sure you do. Tell me did Bella give you your balls back for the day or are the still in her purse?" Emmett crossed his giant arms and laughed at Edward's expense as did I.

"Ha, ha, shut the fuck up." He replied pissed off as we got in.

"No remember Emmett, now they are in the diaper bag." I couldn't help myself and we both giggled like girls on the way down.

"You two laugh now but yours are well on their way to ending up in the same place." He just shook his head at us.

We both quit laughing when he mentioned that.

"You're a buzz kill." Emmett scowled at Edward who wore a smile.

The elevator opened again as we poured out making for the valet to retrieve Emmett's truck. We decided to get what _had _to be done finished first then we could have all the fun we wanted til it was time to meet the girls but not before me and Edward enjoyed a cigarette.

We stopped at an open house in a nice community that was in our price range. It was a two bedroom two bath with a finished basement and a nice backyard. It had big open windows-which Alice would love-there was two other couples looking at it when the three of us went in the house.

The realtor gave us a funny look before approaching us.

"May I help you?" She asked kinda snobby.

"I'm here to check out the house." I told her with a smile.

"This neighborhood is mostly families, not roommates." She looked at Edward and Emmett.

"I'm looking for me and my girlfriend, we're about to have a baby." I had a bit of a tone in my voice now.

"Oh, in that case, you may fit here, there are several other young couples on this street." She now had a smile on her face and looked happy I was there. I wasn't stupid.

"I don't want you to try to sell me on it now, if I like it I will decide without you nagging me, and I will be going through the company to purchase it and not you." I smiled at her. "I'll let you know if I have any questions." I left her near the living room and went to look downstairs.

"What a bitch." Emmett said possibly loud enough for her to hear, but it was a fact and not just trash talk so she should hear. We looked around for another fifteen minutes but nothing about the place really jumped out at me so without saying a word to the 'bitch' we left and went on to the next place which I didn't like either, or the following three.

When we got to the last place on the list I had all but gave in to the fact that I sucked at this, but when I saw it there was an instant connect. I could see the cars parked in front of the garage and us getting ready to leave for work with the baby in tow on the way to daycare.

The house itself was white and like a few of the others there was big windows-maybe bigger-when we walked in there was a long hallway with the stairs at the end, to the right was the living room, and to the left the kitchen and dining areas. Behind the stairs there was also what looked like a four seasons porch and a sitting room. I loved it already, it had 2 1/2 baths and four bedrooms, the basement-from what the flier said-was almost finished.

We went into the kitchen and there was a sliding door that led out to a large porch and into the yard which was fenced in.

"Hello, my name is Emily." The realtor said. She was a sweet Native American woman with pigtail braids and she didn't dress like a business woman but more like an average person and I liked that.

Hi, I'm Jasper, and this is Emmett and Edward" I shook her hand and pointed to the guys.

"Are the three of you looking for a house, or two of you?" She corrected herself and I immediately knew why.

"No, no, no, we're not gay, they're my girlfriend's brothers, and one of them is my brother-in-law, they're just helping me look." I smiled. I couldn't believe she thought we were gay, all three of us. Sure Edward looked like a fairy with how much time he spent doing his hair every morning, but me and Emmett didn't fit the part.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry." She was mortified.

"Don't worry about it." I told her.

"Well wait, no, I want to know; do we really look gay?" Emmett stopped me and asked her hoping her answer was no.

"Yeah, do we?" Edward added.

"You yes, you already knew that, but me and Jazz, do we?" Em looked at his brother then back at Emily.

"No, none of you do, I-I," She stammered.

"You don't have to answer that, they're just giving you a hard time." I waved them off and a smile finally returned to her face. "So me and my girlfriend are expecting a baby, and we're looking for a place that we can get into like now." I educated her.

"Alright, well as you can see the house is available immediately and the asking price is $350,000, there's a fenced in backyard making it perfect for kids, and the master bedroom has it's own bathroom upstairs."

I looked around at everything in the kitchen trying to picture me and Alice here 20 years from now.

"What are thinking about Jasper?" Emmett asked as I started to move.

"I'm thinking that Alice is going to love it here. Has anybody else expressed interest in the house?" I wanted to know.

"There have been a few people in looking but no one really wants it." She was honest and I liked that.

"How does a $70,000 down payment sound?" That was the amount given to me by Alice in what we could spare right now.

Emily had her mouth hanging wide open. "You haven't even seen the rest of the house yet." She told me.

"I know, but I'm asking you, if I put $90,000 down will that secure the house?" I repeated my question.

"Um, yes, but they were only asking for $70,000 are you sure you want to put the extra on there?"

"Yeah Jazz are you? I mean is Alice's income going to be able to take that big of a hit so soon?" Edward butted in.

"I agree with Edward on this one, can it?" Emmett wanted to know as well.

"She got a large sum back from the condo's and once she gets the Ford account her payday could pay for half of this place it's fine." I decided to tell them. "It's fine." I looked back over at Emily.

"Shit, that's a lot of money to spend on a wedding planner." Edward couldn't believe it.

"So do you guys think she'll like this place, and do you think I can get away with buying it without her here?" They knew Alice as well as I did and I valued their input.

"I think she will be happy it's one less thing she'll have to worry about." Emmett spoke up with a smile.

"It's a nice neighborhood, if everything is legit with the place then yeah, I'd say she'd like it after she and mom gut it and do all that shit they do with houses."

"If you want to wait until your girlfriend has a chance to see it, you can still put a bid on it." Emily informed me.

"No, that means someone else can take it and I don't want to risk that." I shook my head. I thought about the possibility that Alice would get mad at me for buying a house without her present and without seeing it since it was her money after all and made up my mind quickly.

"Emily, you just sold yourself a house." I stuck my hand out and she took it with much gratitude. I was probably the easiest sale she's ever made.

After all the paperwork was filled out Emily handed me my copy of things and told me I could come back and sign for everything when the credit check came back and the down payment was in place-all of which I was positive would come back fine, me and Alice we're always financially responsible it came from never have much extra money to burn. I knew I had just bought a house on impulse but I still didn't care, I was confidant Alice would love the place as much as I did.

"Sweet, now that is done I need to run and find Rosalie a present." Emmett said when we got back in the truck.

"Why?" I wondered.

"Because she's my wife and I love her." That was a lie.

"It's because he told her she was fat." Edward snitched on him trying to contain his laugh.

"You did what?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I didn't say she was 'fat' I said she was 'large and in charge'." He said the last part much quieter.

"No." I busted out in laughter with Edward as I pictured Rose's expression.

"I wasn't being mean, she asked me to go answer the door when Edward got there this morning and I said 'Yes ma'am you are large and in charge' and she took it the wrong way." He was still trying to defend himself.

"It's the same thing Emmett." Edward managed to say.

"No, it's not." He shook his head.

"I think it is." I chimed in. "So what are you going to get her?"

"I don't know, what do you get your pregnant wife when you make her really mad? Edward?" He looked over at his brother.

"Don't look at me I never called Bella fat." He was still smiling. "Jasper, have you called Alice fat?" He looked back at me.

"Nope." I looked up at Emmett's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Well what do I do?" He acted like this was the first time he bought Rose something to say sorry with.

"Browse I guess, but don't spend all day doing it, I want to have a beer or ten before we leave." Edward made a face thinking about it.

"Alright then what if I drop you guys off at the hotel and while I'm getting a gift you two go to the store and get beer?" His plan wasn't bad.

"Jazz can you get to Alice's car?" Edward asked.

"Yeah." I confirmed.

"Then that's the new plan then." Edward decided for us.

We headed back to the hotel and Em dropped us off at the valet.

"Alright so I'll be back in like an hour, try not to get too far ahead of me, you two know you can't hold your liquor."

"Shut up and go buy your apology." Edward said taking out another cigarette.

I walked up to the valet stand and handed them the card Alice gave me earlier for her car.

"You want to get some coffee first before we go to the store, I need a pick me up." I asked Edward.

"Dude, you know coffee is like my mistress right?" Edward laughed.

Edward snuffed his cigarette when we saw the little lime green beetle pull up and we got in and headed back out into the big city.

"How do you just all the sudden become a dad?" I asked as I walked with Edward after we stopped by a coffee stand.

"I don't know, you just do." Was all he answered as he took a drag off his cigarette. "And trust me, in no time they will be all over you about _everything._ And you see this." He held up his cigarette to show me. "Forget about it, I can't have one of these unless I know I'm gonna be gone for at least two hours. Bella won't even let me go out on the porch, so between you, me, and Emmett I never did this." He said while he stepped on the finished smoke. "But don't get me wrong, being a father is amazing, I can't even describe how it feels. You think it's never going to catch on because for women something clicks the minute they find out but for us guys it's when you finally get to see what all the fuss is about does it hit you."

I had hoped Edward was right because at the present time I didn't feel much other then scared.

"What I don't get is how Emmett isn't all freaked out by this." I felt alone in that department, Edward seemed to have done alright and as far as I could tell Em was holding up too.

"Oh don't worry he shits his pants on a daily basis about it." A smile turned up the edges of Edwards face.

"I just feel like a shitty father for not feeling more like a father and the baby hasn't even arrived yet. Do you know what I mean?"

"Like I said it will all hit you when the baby gets here. Plus you get the added bonus I didn't."

"What's that?"

"Ali has another pregnant woman to share it all with, chances are you'll get off the hook about a lot of things." He must have seen the look of worry still on my face. "I've known you since I was five Jazz, you'll do just fine." He tried to reassure me as he added another sugar packet to his coffee. "And look on the bright side, in about 15 years the kids gonna hate you anyway, I'm sure you can remember what it's like." He hit me in the shoulder and laughed at his own joke. I couldn't help but smile too.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Alice POV

"So how's Jasper taking all the baby stuff?" Rosalie asked me as we scanned the newborn racks.

"I don't know, I mean he's been here what almost two weeks, and he still has that deer-in-the-headlights-look sometimes, which I guess I should understand because he's only know that long but I mean it's not like I'm still a size 2." I said a little disappointed.

"Alice, look _at me_, I'm the size of an ocean liner and sometimes you'd think Emmett only found out yesterday." She sounded a little bummed out when she mentioned her size too.

It was all true, Rosalie was looking closer and closer to birth everyday when she really had around three more months to go, and I knew it was due to the fact she was having triplets that she was so humongous but I was a little worried. I was a small girl and if I even got close to being that big I was sure I'd go top heavy.

_Of course she's going to be bigger you idiot, like you said she's having triplets. But how _big_ will I get?_

"What do you think about this, if I got each one in a different color? Like one blue, one pink, and I don't know one neutral color like...yellow or green?" It appeared she wasn't satisfied with her own conclusion.

"Still don't know the sex of baby 2?" I asked.

"No! Every time we go in they say 'well I just can't see around the others, so I guess for now it will be a mystery.'" Surprises weren't Rosalie forte and it was making baby shopping difficult for her.

"Why don't you get two blue and two pink? You can always return one later."

"That would work wouldn't it?" She nodded to herself and grabbed two of each.

Hey, Rose?" I asked looking at a poster of a dad and his tiny baby and it got me wondering about things.

"Yeah." She didn't even look up from the packaging she was checking out.

"Do you really think I did the right thing taking him back? Do you think he'll be able to handle it all?" Tears started to sting my eyes and now she looked up.

"Of course he will, you know how Jasper is, it takes him a bit to process things. and between you and me Alice, I know losing you was the hardest thing he's ever had to deal with. I mean you two have known each other longer then not. I don't know how you guys would survive without one another." For once Rosalie wasn't judging. I half expected her to yell at me for leaving in the first place, but she still hadn't, then again she was still pregnant. "You know as well as I do that me and Jazz shared everything growing up including the womb so I feel safe saying that: yeah, he'll be fine, maybe not at first but I know he's happy again, and he's so excited for the baby."

I knew she was more than likely right but it still didn't make me feel any better.

"Ali, this is suppose to be one of the happiest times of your life, even if it's not in the traditional order. This isn't the 1900's were it's shameful to have a baby out of wedlock, it's 2010, the human race has evolved over the years." She threw her arms up with the outfits in her hands.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, besides, I wouldn't want to be married just because we're having a baby." I decided to drop it.

We made our purchases and left to go to another store that consisted of mostly furniture for a nursery. Since I still needed to find a crib, changing table, rocking chair and other things of that variety I thought it would be a good place to get it done at if I could, then again I had no idea what the nursery looked like to even decorate it. It had to match the feel of the room so going about this blindly didn't help.

"Hello, mommies my name is Heidi, are we shopping for cribs today?" I very tall thin brunette who face the face of a runway model asked us when we walked in.

"She is, I've got all mine." Rosalie pointed to me. "She actually doesn't have any furniture yet so she really needs to look at sets."

I looked at her to tell her that I could speak for myself, but I let it go because I would have said the same thing too. "I'm Alice this is my sister-in-law Rosalie." I said instead.

"It's nice to meet you, are these your first babies?" She made conversation.

"Yeah, but I'm having triplets." Rose loved telling people that.

"How fun." She smiled. "How far apart are you then?" She asked.

"About six weeks." I responded.

"It must be nice to go through it together, but back to why you're here. Do you know what style and color you might want?" She turned to walk over to the displays.

"That's the thing, I'm staying in a hotel right now until we can find a new place so I don't know what the room itself will look like." I tried explaining. "In my condo I was thinking about something in espresso, I flipped through some magazines and I liked a set named _Sorelle Bolero_, do you carry that?" I don't know how I remembered the name but I really liked it.

"We do, and we also have it in espresso, it doesn't come with a changing table though but we have one that matches it if you're looking to buy one of those too." She was trying to up-sell but I needed it all anyways and since they had what I was originally interested in I figured I'd get it and if later I didn't think it fit I would return it and get something different.

"I am, and I can tell you already I'll take the set if it's the same thing, do you have a picture I can look at to make sure?" I wanted it to be right.

"I do, I'll run to the back and grab the catalog for you. Here is the table I was telling you about." She stopped walking in front of a very beautiful changing table and she was right it matched perfectly, the angles of the wood were the same as the set I was thinking about.

"Well that was easy." Rose said leaning up against a crib while we waited. "Are you going to do a theme?" She wondered taking a sip of her Big Gulp she got at the 7 Eleven a few stores ago I knew pretty soon she would be begging for a restroom.

"I don't know, I like the idea of it but I don't know what I would use."

"You should do _Winnie-the-Pooh_, Jasper loved it when our mom would read that to us before bed." She suggested.

"Well maybe he will, remember he was going to finish it, I'm just do some shopping." I reminded her of Jasper's desire to do it himself.

"Yeah, but that was when you guys were in the condo, are you going to have enough time to let him do it when you do find a place?" Her question was a good one, and one I didn't have an answer for.

"I don't know, I mean we've only been in the hotel for a week and I got a lot of money back from the condo to avoid me taking that Caius to court and I also got the estimate for the Ford account." I hadn't told Rose this yet and I figured it was only a matter of time before she found out.

"How much?" She was very curious.

"After taxes something around $150,000 maybe." I once again confessed.

"Oh, my god Alice!" She said a little too loud.

"Shh, I don't have it yet but the odds are looking good." I didn't want a scene.

"Is this the one you were talking about?" Heidi returned with the catalog and pointed to a picture in the book.

"Yes it is." I smiled happily. "So I'll take the set and the table both in espresso." I pointed to the items

"Ok, if you want to pull your vehicle up to the door, we'll have someone load it for you. Is there someone who can carry the boxes when you get home?" She sounded concerned.

"Yeah, my boyfriend and brothers are going to be there." I assured her.

"My husband is all muscle." Rosalie felt the need to add about Em.

"Alright, that's good because they weight over 75 pounds each and there are I think six boxes, we don't want you two hurting yourselves so I was going to say if you want it delivered we can do that as well." She offered.

"Oh no, I think the guys can do some of the work since we automatically have to do the worst of it." Rose declined and I nodded my head in agreement, we did have to do all the work.

"Let's get you rung up then." She headed back to the front of the store toward the registers and we got in line.

"I'll go get the jeep." Rose stuck her hand out for the keys.

"Can you get behind a wheel?" I wasn't trying to be mean but I didn't want something to happen to her or the babies.

"Barely." She admitted. "Oh my god did I tell you Emmett called me fat this morning before we left the house?" She took what I said the wrong way I guess based on her new topic.

"Really? He flat out told you that you were fat?" I doubt that was what really happened. Emmett was afraid of Rosalie.

"No." She said much quieter. "But it's what he meant." She piped back up.

"What did he actually say?"

"That I was 'large and in charge', that's why I was mad at him when we left the hotel." She was actually mad. "He didn't say it mean but it's like I already know I'm the size of the _Titanic _and I'm not done growing yet, I don't need Em to remind me." Now she seemed more sad about it.

"I don't know what it's like to be that big Rose so I can't say much about it other then you have to remember it's three babies making you look that big, and the bigger you get the bigger the babies are and that's a good thing right?" I tried to remind her of that.

"Yes, it's a very good thing." She smiled not to worried about it anymore. "So I guess you should probably go get the jeep." She said in defeat.

"I will after we check out." I moved up in line and it was my turn.

"Your total will be $2,769.58." The cashier told us after she ran up the bar codes and I handed her my credit card that had a large limit on it.

"Congratulations girls and good luck with motherhood." Heidi told us before leaving the counter.

"Bye." I told her as she walked away. "Heidi said that someone would load it for us?" I asked the woman.

"Yes, they will, what kind of vehicle do you drive?" She asked.

"It's a silver Jeep." I replied.

"If there isn't someone out there already they will be in a few minutes. Thank you and have a nice day." She said with a smile.

"You too." We left the counter and headed back out to the parking lot.

"So do you think Jazz will find anything today?" Rose wondered.

"I don't know, I kinda wish that if he did that he just bought it, I don't really have the time to participate much and he knows what I would like and what our price range is." It was exactly that, a wish but I there was that saying; a girl can dream.

"Maybe he will." She tried to reason with me.

"Eh." I shrugged my shoulders like I didn't care, but I really hoped he did find something.

"Are you ready to head back and see what the guys are up to and eat?"

"Yeah, I'm starving, oh, Rosalie wait until you have the filet mignon it's to die for and you can cut it with a fork like butter."


	13. Heaven Sent

**A/N: I know this chapter is shorter then the others but I intended for it to be like that, and I will hopefully have the next chapter up later this week, until next time Enjoy!**

Just waiting on an angel

To take me out of my hell

I'm falling for you

Just dropped out of thin air

You came out of nowhere

Right out of the blue

When heaven sent you

_Heaven Sent – By Hinder_

Jasper POV

When me and Edward returned from getting beer Emmett was still nowhere to be found so I pulled out my cell and called him.

"_Hey Jazz, I'll be back in like 20 minutes according to my GPS. You guys aren't drunk yet are you?" _He'd be disappointed if we were.

"No, we just got here, and were wondering how you were doing?" I clarified.

"_I found something and I'm headed back now, so I'll see you then."_

"Ok, bye."

"_Bye."_

"What did he say?" Edward wondered.

"That he would be here in 20 minutes and not to start without him." I smiled.

"Fuck that." Edward grabbed two out of the two 24 packs we bought and handed one to me. "Cheers." He held his can up to me.

"Cheers." I took my swig then grabbed my guitar that was next to the fireplace sat down in my favorite chair in the room to strum a few strings.

"So have you had any luck finding a job yet?" He questioned.

"No, but I haven't looked yet either and I don't know what to look for." I said as I continued to play _How to Save A Life_.

"You know I have a buddy who owns a recording studio out here who's looking for someone to scout part time and work in the studio full. He even occasionally will listen to a demo, I can call him if you're interested." He told me.

"I don't know anything about the equipment they use, I'm an amateur." I wasn't fit to be in a recording studio.

"He's willing to teach, if I put in a good word like I said I will, and plus he prefers employees with talent, and talent you have my friend." He took another drink from his beer. "The position just opened up and no one really knows about it yet so you'd have a good chance, it's salary and I think to start he said $100,000, plus benefits." He was trying to sell it to me. "Who knows you might even get your own record deal, you and that guitar are something else, and don't think I don't know you can sing too."

"I don't want to be a rock star Edward, I'm starting a family." I didn't want to be touring all over the place most of the time when I had a child on the way. "But the job sounds nice, so yeah, I'm interested." The salary was very good and the job itself seemed like fun. I could get paid to listen to music all day."

"Great I'll give him a call right now and see what he's up to if you want?" He offered pulling his phone out.

"Ok." Now was as good a time as any I guess.

Edward moved his finger over the screen quickly then placed the phone to his ear. After a long pause he finally spoke again. "Hey Peter it's Edward Cullen. I'm good, Bella and Renesmee are doing good too." He smiled as he carried on his conversation. "Listen I was wondering did you find someone to work in the studio full time yet?" He raised his eye brows and gave me a thumbs up.

"Sweet, my sister and her boyfriend live in Seattle now and he's currently looking for a job. Yep, the one from Texas who plays the guitar." He nodded his head.

_What the hell, I was a topic with this guy named 'Peter' before today?_

"When are you free next to meet with him?" This sounded like a good thing. "This week? When and what time?"He moved the phone away from his mouth. "Does Thursday at 1:30 sound ok?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm free whenever." I smiled thinking about how great this day was turning out.

"That works, where do you want him to meet you?" There was another pause. "Jasper will be there, it was good talking to you Peter, I'll have to come back and see you soon. Alright bye." Edward hung up the phone. "You have a meeting with him on 6th and Union Thursday at 1:30." He smiled.

"Thanks Edward, I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it. Peter's a cool guy he and his girlfriend Charlotte have been in the music business for almost 15 years and their company is the largest in the state. So you'll get all those on their way to LA and stardom coming through, plus bands you already have heard of."

I hadn't thought about it like that but I would, and I would get to help choice beats and what not, oh now I really wanted this job but I didn't want to tell Alice just yet.

"Hey Edward can you do me just one more favor?" I asked him.

"What's that?" He wondered.

"Keep this between you and me until I get an answer, I want to surprise Alice."

"Sure man." He smiled like it was what he planned all along. "I think you will fit in fine there, and if you want paternity leave I'm sure he will give it to you." He assured me.

It still amazed me as to how my life had changed yet again in a major way.

"Edward, how is it that two weeks ago I was so miserable that I didn't care if I went to sleep and never woke up but now I can't wait for the day to start?" I was dumbfounded by my 180.

"You're happy again." He said plainly. "It's about time too, I was getting sick of hearing everyone bitch about you." It wasn't that Edward was really sick of people talking about me it was what they said. Everyone was worried and I could really suck the life from a room like a vampire when I entered then. "Emmett plays the over-protective-big-brother roll because he thinks he has to but I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt Alice. For you to be without her would probably be the death of you and I think she knows that now."

_She doesn't know everything._

"Like what?" He asked.

_Did I really say that out loud? Damn._

"There's...things...I've kept to myself." I struggled to find the right words. "Stuff I don't want her ever finding out about." I shook my head.

"You know you can talk to me right? Whatever you tell me stays between us Jazz unless you say otherwise." He sounded like a shrink.

"It's messed up man, you don't _want_ to hear it trust me." That dark and twisted corner of my mind was not a place for amateurs and least of all happy people hence the reason why I no longer occupied it.

"I'm the appointed resident therapist, I've heard it all and I'm very good at keeping secrets. You wouldn't believe some of the shit I have on some of the family." He tried to reason with me. It must have been why he spoke like he did.

I debated in my head if I should tell him of my feelings less then a month ago and if it was really something he would keep to himself, but I decided quickly. "I was ready to die Edward." I admitted and it felt like my chest was 100 pounds lighter. "It's not just a metaphor when you said it would end in my death because it almost did." It all just came walking out now. "I was maybe days away from choosing a way, it's why I went to Seattle, because maybe if I saw that she was happy I might be able to get over her." I tried to hold back a few tears that threatened to expose themselves when I thought about how I may have never known about the baby and that I was the Yoko Factor with her family and herself. "But as it turns out, I was just waiting on an angel to take out of my hell, and that angel was Ali, who put me there to begin with."

"I can understand that. I felt the same way when I saw Bella fall down those stairs, remember that?"

Yes I did. When Bella was 20 she got into an argument with Edward then tripped down some stairs, broke her leg in three places and she suffered a concussion, not to mention the window at the bottom which she sailed into and shattered. She knocked herself out and for a minute he thought she had broke her neck and was dead. It wasn't the first time Bell's had gotten herself hurt and it sure as hell wasn't the last. She was a walking talking accident most of her life though since she had Nes she's tried to be more careful, she always worries about dropping the baby. So much in fact she wouldn't hold her on the way to the car when they left the hospital or even stand with Nessie in her arms until she was almost two months old.

"Like I didn't know how I was suppose to live without her, and it was the longest flight of stairs in the world when I went down them to check her pulse, and when she was in the hospital I thought about the ways I could kill myself if she ever really did die."

It was nice to know I wasn't alone but Edward only had to live with that fear for a minute, I endured it for five months but I wasn't trying to one up him.

"Why don't you want to tell Alice?"

_How it that not obvious?_

"Because, she'd just blame herself and never get over it." I told him the very clear answer.

"She might like to know that you love her that much, that you were willing to die because of her, but there is always that chance that it will backfire." He reasoned with himself.

"I don't want to risk it. There are just somethings Alice is better off not knowing-" I was cut off by Emmett for the third time this week beating on the double doors.

"_Let me in, I'm thirsty!" _He whined from the other side.

"Um, no one's here right now, try again later!" I shouted at the door from my chair in the living room making me and Edward laughed.

"_Come on you guys, I really have to take a piss." _He continued. We got up and moved closer to the door. _"Hi, how ya doing?"_ He asked someone politely. _"Seriously Jazz, Edward, I'm gonna call Rosalie." _He threatened and that was all it took to get me to finally open the it, I did not want to get on my sister's bad side, definitely not her pregnant bad side.

"That's only going to work while she's pregnant." I clarified.

"Then I've got a few more months of using it as an excuse." He smiled. "Now get out of the way before I wipe it out right here and piss in that plant." He pushed past us and headed for the bedroom.

"I'm going to have a smoke on the porch." Edward told me as he dug for them in his pocket. "Are you coming?" He asked as he put the cigarette in his mouth and let it hang there while he now searched for a lighter and grabbed us two fresh beers.

"Yeah." I stuck my hand out for one. I didn't smoke as much as Edward did, I use to but Alice didn't really care for it so I became a social smoker which she could deal with. It had started to drizzle a little so I grabbed my coat before following Edward outside. "So I've been thinking about asking Alice to marry me." I said when we were safely outside with the slider shut. I figured he knew the worst of my skeletons so this would be no big deal.

"Really?" He asked surprised. "That's great man, if you do then I'll be your brother-in-law too." he smiled.

"You're already my brother, you and Emmett have been since I can remember. Your whole family is already my family, has been since we were little including Bella." I informed him of my feelings.

"Now I don't want us to have a moment or anything but...I feel the same way." Edward didn't show his emotions much, he hardly cried when we were kids, so it was normal for him to defect our so called 'moment'.

"Don't worry I won't tell." I mocked.

"Hey you pussy's are we drinking or what?" Emmett stuck his head out the door.

"We're two ahead of you, so get moving." Edward told Em as he took a drag.

"That means I have to drink four just to catch up with you." He went back in to the living room and grabbed two beers which he drank back-to-back in a minute.

"He is going to be so sick by the time the girls get back." I shook my head thinking about what Rose would say to him.

"I don't think so, he has to drive." We flicked our cigarettes over the edge and went back in the room.

"Let's hope he can." I said as we walked back inside the warm living room.

We spent the next couple hours drinking the two 24 packs we picked up, Emmett quit about a half hour before the girls returned with _way _too many bags in their hands.

"Hey, baby, I've been wondering when you were going to get back." I mumbled and got off the couch like a slinky. "Do you need help with your stuff?" I pointed to her full arms as I approached her and kissed her cheek.

"Are you drunk?" She already knew the answer but she still asked so I answered.

"Yes, I am, and so is Edward." I pointed to him on the couch and he just stuck his arm in the air never turning around. "And Emmett, is peeing, I think, but he quit drinking a bit ago, so after dinner he should be fine." I assured her.

"He better be, Rose can't fit behind the wheel anymore." She said quietly.

"I heard that." Rose said setting her stuff down and heading to the bathroom.

"Did you get anything interesting?" I stuck my finger in the bag to open it some.

"A few things, I have a nursery set in the jeep that I was hoping you guys could bring in for me." She looked at her brother who I was sure had passed out or was about to.

"I can do it Ali, I'm not too drunk." Emmett said emerging from the room.

"I can help." I piped up.

"No, chief, you sit this one out, it would cost you a fortune if you broke even one of those vases in the lobby." He pushed me back from the door.

"You keep an eye on the girls and the fairy and I'll be right back." He smiled and grabbed his coat off the dining room chair.

Alice didn't appear to care one way or the other so I shrugged my shoulders in defeat. Rose was still in the bathroom when Emmett left and Edward had yet to move.

"So did you have any luck today?" She asked hopeful.

"Sit down." I turned to the table, looked at her when I sat and noticed it took her a second to finally do the same.

"Is this bad news or something?" She looked worried.

"No, not at all." I assured her. "I just can't stand up very well right now." I put my arm on the table and leaned closer to her. "But promise me you won't get mad." I went back to our previous discussion.

"Why, should I be?" I was confusing the hell out of her.

"Alright, here it goes." I took a deep breath. "I bought us a house today." I said strongly.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Please don't be mad, it was just once I saw the place it was like there was no questions about it and I swear you'll love it." I said quickly. "Alice?" She still hadn't said anything.

"So I don't have to spend all my free time trying to find a house, we already found one?" A smile crossed her face from ear-to-ear.

"Yeah, as long as all the paperwork comes back fine." I smiled too, glad that she wasn't angry. "Um, here I have a picture of it." I got up and grabbed the flier off the coffee table. "It's a four bedroom and 2 ½ bath with a big fenced in backyard." I sounded a little too excited but I was drunk. I pushed the paper toward her on the table and sat back down. "It's where I saw us growing old together." I looked in her eyes.

Tears had started to form but her smile was still there and I knew they were happy tears.

"Do you like it?" I wondered, she hadn't really said much yet.

"I love it, and I can totally see us there too, even with just a few photos. It's going to be perfect." She scooted out of her chair and into my lap wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight embrace. "Thank you, Jazz, I was so worried we'd take too long finding a house and it wouldn't be ready in time for the baby." The excitement was clear in her voice."

"Well I told you I would, I mean, I didn't think it would be in a day and I was scared shitless that you were going to be mad, even though the guys both said you'd like it."

"Hey did I miss something." Rose said finally returning from the bathroom.

"Jazz bought us a house today." She said very happy and stuck the flier out for Rose to look at.

"What?" She demanded back, snatching the piece of paper from Alice's hand. "In one day you found _and _closed on a place? It took me and Emmett four months to find ours." She couldn't believe it.

"It was just there, and Alice was reimbursed for a lot on the condo that she already paid." I said proudly.

"You lucky bastard." She shoved the flier at me and headed for the kitchen.

Emmett came in the room with two large boxes and nearly took the door off, luckily he had put the security lock in the door jam so it didn't close it all the way or the thing would surely be under his feet.

"I was just wondering to myself on the way up in the elevator, why don't we just put these in the storage?" Em looked confused.

"I didn't want to leave them in the car for someone to steal, that's $2000 worth of baby shit in your hands right there and maybe another grand on everything else, but now I'm almost done and in only one trip." I did find a lot of the things I needed, thanks to Rosalie and her careful planning I wasn't going to be without a single thing I might need even if it was just one time.

"You're not going to go shopping with mom?" Emmett looked mortified. Esme loved shopping and I was sure Emmett was only worried about her feelings getting hurt since she too had missed out on the first five months of her pregnancy.

"Of course I will, what do you think I'm that big a bitch, I said _'almost' _had everything done." I reminded him. "So when can I see the house?" She turned and asked me still sitting in my lap.

"Tomorrow if you'd like, I can call Emily and get some keys." I was so relieved she was happy that I couldn't even express it, it had started to weight on me some before the alcohol kicked in, but when she walked through the door it came flooding back.

"You told her about the house already?" Emmett was truly bummed out and I nodded my head. "You suck man, that could have been a good fight to see and you did it while I was carry boxes for you." He walked over to Rose and grabbed her in his big arms as much as he could. "Hi, sweetheart." He spoke like no one else was in the room. "I missed you, and the babies." He put one hand on her stomach and a smile lit up her face.

"We missed you too, and we're hungry, when are we going to dinner?" Rose asked the last part louder for me and Alice to hear clearly.

"Whenever, I'm ready, what about you and baby are you two hungry?" I answered Rose and turned to ask Alice.

"Duh, eating is only like the second best thing I do now." She joked.

"Hey Edward, we're going to eat now, you ready?" Emmett called, but when he got no answer he walked over to where Edward still sat on the couch. "Hey Edward!" He said louder and closer to his face and still no reply. "He's passed out hold on." He brought he large hand back then swiftly and loudly smacked Edward across the face.

"I'm up. I'm up." He said standing from the couch quickly.

"Let's go eat man, get some carbs in you." Em threw his arm around his brother as they headed back toward us near the table. "And just so you know, if you throw up in my truck, I will kill you." He added.

We headed down for dinner and by the time our appetizers got there Edward had disappeared to the bathroom which Emmett was thankful for. After Edward threw up once he was done, and usually more lucid, so sure as the sun rises he returned looking much better.

"Sorry. I'm back." He said sitting back down.

"Feel better?" Rose asked a little smug.

"Yes." He said relieved and his body language made all of us laugh but Rose.

"Alright, let's finish eating, I want to be on the road by 8.30." Emmett dug back into his plate much more sober himself, though he hadn't been nearly as bad as me and Ed were to begin with. It wasn't like we had to drive anywhere and I was sure if Edward didn't feel well enough to do it he would crash at Rose and Em's.

8:30 came too fast and we were soon saying goodbye to them as they left the valet area. When we got back to our room I thought about how the day had been turning so I decided to take my chances, to go for broke and ask Alice to marry me. I reached into the pocket of my jeans and gripped the velvet box.

"Alice?"


	14. Breathe

**A/N: So I've got some bad news, well bad news for me it doesn't really affect you guys. My computer crashed on Thursday and I had already written this chapter, so needless to say I lost all of my work, but have no fear, I have another computer in the house I can use but the down side is I chose to see my computer dying as a sign that I needed to rewrite the chapter. I hope you aren't too upset with the way it turns out and I will still be posting as regularly as I can, if my work isn't totally lost then I will post the original version on the outtakes page. Until next time enjoy!**

She is fine most of the time

She takes her days with a smile

Moves like a dancer in light

Spinning around to the sound

But sometimes she falls down

_Breathe – Ryan Star_

Jasper POV

"Alice?"

"Yeah?" She looked up at me from the living room where she was trying to take her shoes off.

"I wanted to ask you-"

"Hey, have you called your parents yet?" She cut me off as she stood back up.

"No, but I need to ask-"

"When Jasper, I mean the baby is going to be here in a little more then three months! I had to fix things with my family but you can't even pick up the phone and tell yours? How is that fair?" She was clearly pissed now as she walked toward me stopping just out of arms reach.

I released the ring from my grip and pulled my hand out of my pocket. So tonight wasn't the night, which was fine because I wanted to talk to Carlisle, but I was still bummed.

"Do you want me to call them right now?" I said pulling my phone out.

"Yes, I do. Call them with me standing right here." She pointed to the phone and the floor. "Do it, call them, unless you want to sleep on the couch tonight."

"No, I'm calling." I flipped through my contacts quicker now that she threatened me with the dog house. I found the number and pushed it, and placed the phone up to my ear.

It ran four times before my mom picked it up.

"_Hello?" _

"Hi, mama, it's me." I hadn't talked to my parents since Christmas and even then I hadn't told them me and Alice broke up.

"_Jasper, oh it's so good to hear from you." _She sounded very happy. _"The last time I talked to you; you didn't sound so well, was everything alright?" _Her mother-well what she has of them-instincts detected my suffering with just my voice, but so could Esme. If I had to choose which women knew me better I would have to say Esme-obviously after Alice. There was so much that I would tell Esme before I even dreamed of telling my real mother, I could never tell my mom that but Esme knew and she kept it to herself knowing I didn't want people thinking I hated my mom because I didn't, still don't, and pretty sure I never will.

"Yeah, ma, I was just sick, I had the flu I think." I wasn't above lying to my mother to avoid a conversation I knew was coming anyways.

"_Oh, sweetheart" _She sounded like she was talking to a child. _"Well I hope Alice did a good job taking care of you"_

"She did, actually mama I was calling you and dad to tell you that we're going to have a baby." I said it with a smile on my face and looked at Alice who still had a mean death stare going on and her arms crossed.

"_Oh, how wonderful, Alexander, Jasper and Alice are going to have a baby."_ She told my father. _"When is she due?" _This was what I wanted to avoid if I could.

"Um…June 30th." I shut my eyes even though she was actually there waiting for the yelling to start.

"_June 30__th__-wait…June 30__th__? It's the end of February!" _She had a tone when she finally caught on. _"Jasper, why haven't you called us sooner?" _She was angry now.

"I'm sorry mama I've-I've…I've only known for a few weeks, me and Alice split for a while and she moved to Seattle before she found out, but she knew I didn't want children so she never called. I went looking for her to talk to her and I saw the obvious, but now we're back together, and we plan to stay that way." I didn't want my parents to think Alice was the bad guy in all of this-which they would just because I'm their son. I was over it so it didn't matter anymore, I would inform the rest of the group the story just in case and I was sure they would understand.

"_So why didn't you call us a few weeks ago _when_ you found out?" _She wasn't so upset but there was still that tone.

"It's been hectic mama, the place where Ali was staying had a gas leak so we've been staying in a hotel, and we just bought a house in the suburbs of Seattle, not far from her job." I kept looking at Alice as I spoke and now a big smile crossed her face and she came and wrapped her arms around me, I hugged her shoulders with my free hand and after a minute I started moving us toward the couch.

"_Seattle? What are you going to do about work? Do they have another branch there?"_ My mother was meddlesome but I knew she would only ask again if I didn't answer.

"No they don't have a branch, I'm going to look for something here in the city and until I do Alice has a well paying career that starting to really kick off so we will be fine until I do." I hadn't even told Alice about the potential job so I sure as hell didn't want to tell my mother. We sat down on the couch and got comfy while I finished up the horrible call that should have been fun.

"_Do you know what you're having?"_ She was really lightening up now.

"No, we're gonna wait."

"_Ok. So you bought a house you say? Is it a starter house?" _It continued on.

"No, it's a four bedroom, and 2 ½ bath, it's a good place to raise a family, good neighborhood, definitely several steps up from our apartment in Port Angeles." I was proud to say.

"_Ya'll have to call us when Alice goes into labor now you hear; Rosalie has already been instructed to do the same. Don't forget to call; you never call us anymore Jasper." _She now complained. _"And what do you mean you and Alice split up, when did that happen?"_ I was about to get caught in my lie.

"Um last fall, not long after Rose found out she was pregnant." I admitted.

"_When I talked to ya at Christmas you said she was 'fine', why did you lie to me?" _She sounded hurt.

"Because I wasn't dealing with it well, that's what you heard in my voice at Christmas, it was the sound of my pain and suffering." I didn't want Alice to hear this because she already felt bad enough, but I needed my mom to understand why it was too hard to talk about it then. "I only got better after I found out about the baby and we got back together." I looked down at Alice who was resting her back against my chest I smiled at her when she looked up at me and she smiled back. It was all worth it.

"_But you're fine now? You and Alice are fine now?" _She demanded.

"Yes, we're both fine mama, don't worry."

"_Ok then. You better not lie to me again!" _She also demanded.

"Yes ma'am." I sounded like a true Southern gentlemen. "How's dad doing?" I hated to ask but I figured I might as well.

"_He's doing good, let me see if he wants to talk, hold on."_

"No mama, it's fi-" But it was already too late.

"_Alexander, do you want to talk to Jasper!" _I heard her faint yelling. A few seconds later she picked up the phone again.

"_Um, sweetheart, he's real busy right now, can he call ya some other time?" _Her accent was thick as she lied to me. I wasn't going to call her out on it though because the truth was I didn't really want to talk to my father, we had been fighting for the past few years and I honestly can't even remember why, but we were both stubborn men so it continued to drag on.

"It's ok mama, I love ya and I'll call ya soon, I promise." My accent always shined a little more when I was talking to my mom and the promise was one I was going to keep, mainly so I wouldn't get yelled at again.

"_Ok sugar, I love ya."_ At least she wasn't pissed anymore.

"Love you too mama." I hung up the phone and tossed it on the messy coffee table. "Are you happy now?" I asked my pregnant pixie.

"Yes and no." She answered still staring straight ahead.

"Why? What did I do wrong?" I figured it was something I forgot to add in, some minor detail.

"That's not it." She shook her head.

"What is it then?" I sounded more concerned and I was.

"It's not right…what I put you through, I don't deserve to have you lie to your parents for me, and I sure as hell don't deserve you." She had finally looked up to tell me.

"Oh, Alice, don't think like that, you know how I feel about you. I didn't tell her the truth because my parents can be very critical, and I didn't want to hear it especially if you're involved." I brushed the back of my hand on her cheek. "So don't worry about it, I love you, that's all that matters." I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Ohm, I'm exhausted." She complained and let out a large yawn which I caught.

"Me too, how sad is that, we're in our mid-twenties and we're tired at 9 o'clock." We were definitely pathetic.

"It's sad for you, for me I'm pregnant I get to be tired all the time." She said pulling herself back up, I got off the couch quickly to help her stand and she took my offered hand.

"You're right." I gave in. "I can't wait to show you the house tomorrow." I smiled as we walked into the bedroom.

"I know I'm so excited." She practically was jumping up and down.

I slept well that night dreaming about our house and how it would look once we moved in. It was a place I could stay forever.

Alice POV

I was more then happy when Jasper finally called his parents, and I really was pissed when I found out he still hadn't and I needed him to know it. The following morning I was anxious to see the house, Jasper had called Emily-the realtor-and she said she would meet us there at noon.

11:30 finally rolled around and we hopped in the jeep and headed to our new home. I recognized the street name and began looking for the house I knew from the photo. Jasper was right, it was a place to raise a family, I saw me and Jasper sitting in rocking chairs on the porch in the summer when we were old and gray, maybe a golden retriever or some reliable breed of dog at our feet.

Emily was already in the driveway when we pulled in and she waved to us near the front door. We got out and Jasper waited for me to come around took my hand and led me toward the house, _our _house.

"Hey Jasper, and you must be Alice?" She turned to look at me, I nodded my head yes. "I'm Emily, it nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out for me to shake.

"Same here. Does that mean he and my brothers have been talking about me?" I wondered.

"I've heard nothing but good things, and Jasper was a little worried you'd be upset about this." She gestured to the house.

"He worried unnecessarily, I'm just glad he found a place so quick." I found it easy to converse with her.

"Well, come on in and have a look around." She turned to unlock the door. "So far the paperwork is looking good, we'll do the credit check tomorrow oh and Alice I have some papers I need you to sign as well. Jasper signed just enough to take it off the market." She opened the door wide and stepped aside. "This is your house; you should be the first to enter." She smiled as she told me.

I walked into the long narrow hallway with Jazz behind me until I approached the end where the interior finally appeared more then a half blocked set of stairs. The main floor was large-except for the hallway-branching the house into sections, to the left was the dining room and kitchen, to the right was a large family room with a beautiful stone fireplace, in front of me to the right were the stairs, and dead ahead was a decent sized sitting room that walked-out to a very large porch. I decided to start at the center and work my way over, there was another walk-out door in the kitchen, and the dining room was separate from the kitchen with its windows facing the front of the house.

The backyard was big and green with a two small pine trees one in each of the back corners of the yard, the porch itself took up almost half of the yard. I left the kitchen and went to the sitting room, it sat lower then the rest of the main floor with a step at both entrances, its whole back wall was windows that faced out to the yard and there was another small fireplace on the south wall and had built-in bookshelves that covered the rest.

"We'll have to get a few baby gates for these steps." I pointed to the two single steps that went to the kitchen and toward the hallway.

"Yeah, I figured we would, but the living room is pretty big, I thought maybe we could put a changing table down here and a basinet so we don't have to go up and down the stairs for everything." Jazz said taking my hand and pulling me to the living room which I hadn't looked at fully yet.

Jasper was right; the living room was big with more bookshelves against the hallway wall and the large stone fireplace on the shared wall with the sitting room. There was one extra large window that faced west-the front yard- and two smaller ones on the south side.

"I haven't even seen the upstairs and I already love it." I smiled looking at Jazz.

"I was the same way." He gave me a quick kiss.

"This here is the half bath, the other two are upstairs." Emily said opening the door I passed on my way in here near the stairs. "Are you ready to go up?" She asked her smile never leaving her face.

"Yes." I replied.

When we got to the top the hallway branched off both ways.

"The master bedroom is this way and the other three rooms are down there." Emily pointed to the right first then the left.

She went toward the master first and I was amazed when I walked in, it was a large room with neutral colored walls and sand colored carpet like the rest of the house except for the kitchen and hallway which was a light wood.

"Wait you haven't even seen the best part yet." Jazz sounded a bit too excited when he pulled me to the left of the room. He opened the door to reveal a large walk-in closet that curved into an L shape. I gasped when as I took it all in.

"You are- oh, I could just eat you alive right now." I said through my teeth as I grabbed the front of his shirt and gave him a passionate kiss, and then I remembered we weren't alone. "Sorry, hormones." I blushed as I told Emily.

"Don't worry about it; do you want to see the other rooms and your bathroom?" She pointed to the bathroom I had yet to look at.

It was large with double sinks, a large double-headed stand-up shower and a beautiful bathtub on legs.

"Now I really know why you bought this house." I stated.

"Why's that?" He wondered.

"The bathroom, I won't be able to complain its too crowded, and the doubled-headed shower." I had caught on.

"It was just a bonus really." He tried to sound nonchalant about it.

"Um hmm, yeah, I'm sure." I teased him. So now comes the task of choosing a room for the baby, you said they were to the left of the stairs?" I asked Emily the last part.

"Yes, they are." Emily turned around to leave and me and Jasper followed. "This here is the remaining bathroom." She stopped across from the stairs.

The bathroom itself wasn't the biggest, it was bigger then the one at our apartment, but if there were more then two people trying to use it in the morning, it would be difficult.

"If we have more then one let's hope they're not girls, mornings would be a trip to hell and back." I laughed at Jasper thinking about the possible outcome.

"I thought about that afterwards, the basement isn't finished and there is space to put another room and bathroom plus still have a nice area for a mini bar maybe?" He snuck in the last part. I stopped walking and turned to face him.

"A mini bar? With a baby on the way?" I stopped walking. I knew he really wanted one but I decided to have a little fun.

"Pretty please, come on it will be at least another 15 years before our baby won't be afraid to come down here if we say there is a boogeyman." He sounded like an idiot, but it was making me laugh more.

"You want to tell our child that there is a monster in the basement, do you not like sleep, because the last time I checked on the weekends you sleep until after 12 if I don't wake you up first." I kept it up.

"Ok, bad idea, but come on, Emmett's got one, and it sounds like Rose is going to take it out and turn it into a play room anyways. You wouldn't just be doing it for me but you'd be doing it for Emmett too." He tried to make me feel bad.

"So you really want a man-cave for Emmett?" I turned back around and went into the first bedroom, it was small and kind of had an L shape to it like my closet, but it was a bit bigger.

"Yes and no." He answered.

"Well which is it, 'yes' or 'no'?"

"Yes, because Emmett will be devastated when his beer signs get banished to the garage, and no because I've always wanted a man-cave of my very own." He looked down at his feet and kicked some invisible thing.

"I think we might be able to work something out and get you a man-cave of your very own." I had always intended on saying yes but I wanted to know his reasons and to make him think I might say no to see how bad he wanted it.

"Really, oh I love you baby." He had a grin the size of California as he gave me a very tight hug.

"Ok, honey, choking me and the baby." I managed to get out.

"Oh, sorry." He released me right away and resorted to just holding my hand.

We left the room and headed down a part of the hallway I hadn't seen yet because it was hidden, at the end were two doors on each side.

"These two rooms are virtually identical, except the one on the right has two more windows that face the north side of the house." Emily informed me.

After looking in both I realized she was right.

"So which one do you like for the nursery?" Jasper asked wrapping his arms around me and pulling my back into his chest.

"I think I like the smaller one for now, it's the closest to us. But I don't think I'm going to want the baby sleeping in there at first, I'd rather have her in our room, because if someone breaks in they don't even have to walk by us to get to the baby, we'd never hear it." There was panic in my voice.

"Alice, calm down its ok, it's not a big deal the baby can sleep in our room until you're comfortable otherwise." He turned me around to say.

"And I can assure you the neighborhood watch here is very good, everyone kinda watches out for everyone." Emily tried comforting me.

"I'm sure I'm just overreacting, I struggle to think that soon we'll be separated forever, I think I'll miss feeling her inside me." My hands moved to my belly as I looked down at my bulging stomach.

"You've never referred to the baby as a 'him' or 'her' before." Jasper sounded surprised and I was too because he was right.

"I guess it just feels like it might be a girl, I don't know." I waved it off trying to drop it.

"Well I think it's a boy." Jasper stated.

"Wanna make a bet? $20 says it's a girl?" I offered.

"Deal." He stuck his hand out like he did every time we made a bet and I shook it sealing our deal.

"So what do you think of the house?" Emily asked.

"Jasper was right, I love it. He knows just what I like; it must come from knowing me so long." I looked at the man I loved.

"How long have you two been together?" She asked as we headed back through the hallway and down the stairs.

"Ten years, but we've known each other since we were toddlers; we grew up next door to each other." Jasper filled in.

"Wow, so yeah I guess you would be in tune with each other. Ok, Alice, I just have a few papers I need you to sign and then everything will be finished."

"Alright, so when can we start moving in?" I asked.

"If everything goes ok with the credit checks and what not they you can move in as early as next weekend." She said.

_Yes!_

"Great, we have a lot to do, and I've got a wedding that's less then three weeks away." I explained.

"Oh, are you guys getting married?" She was curious.

"No, I plan weddings for a living; I work for Christophe and Company.

"Ok, I know where that is, Rachael Christophe is a genius, wow so yeah you can afford this house with the clients you work with." She laughed at herself. "Alright, just sign anywhere you see the red 'X' and let me know if you have questions about any thing." She pushed the small stack of papers in front of me at the island in the kitchen. I couldn't wait to cook something on the beautiful stainless steel stove, hear the sounds of feet running across the hard floors and I smiled as I grabbed the first paper in the stack.

I spent a half hour signing things and when I was finished my hand was all cramped up. Emily told us she would call Monday after they heard back from the bank and we would go from there. I was so thrilled that Jasper had found our home that I thought I might wet my pants from excitement.

"Oh, I'm so happy Jasper, we could be out of the hotel by next weekend, and I know the colors I want to use on the walls in the nursery, after that I will let you take it away." I didn't want him to think I was taking his job away from him

"That's cool, I figured you'd pick the color anyways and I'm glad you like it. I guess I should get the rest of my stuff from Rose and Em's this week and move it in storage, which should keep me busy for a while."

"God I can't wait to start our lives there, it's like I can see what it will be like in the future." I sighed with content.

"And what does our future hold?" He teased me.

"Happiness…lots, and lots of happiness." I watched him to see his reaction.

"Well that's a good thing isn't it?" He wasn't really asking but I decided to answer anyway.

"It's a very good thing." I smiled at him.


	15. Last to Know

**A/N: Getting closer, getting closer. **

**Not much else to say other then that, so until next time enjoy! P.S. sorry it's a little short.**

She just walked away

Why didn't she tell me

And where do I go tonight

This isn't happening to me

This can't be happening to me

She didn't say a word, just walked way

_Last to Know – Three Days Grace_

Alice POV

This week work was becoming very stressful, I had exactly 15 days 21 hour and 23 minutes until I was expected to pull off my first wedding with the company, try to get Clara Ford to pick me as her planner, and continue to develop a baby inside me, stressful wasn't the right word, insane sounded more appropriate.

"Alice, can you initial these please so I can send them out." A male assistant ran up to me with a pile of papers.

"I will in just a minute, set them on my desk I'll be back in a few minutes." I told him as I kept heading for Rachael's office.

"Alice, the florist is on the phone and wants to know if he can drop the flowers off at the hotel the day of the wedding instead of the day before?" A different one asked this time a female whose name I couldn't remember at the moment.

"Tell him only if he can get them there by 9 AM we need to start placing them by 10 and I can't be worried about where the flowers are." I didn't stop to answer her and she left when I did give it.

"Alice, you're boyfriend is on the phone." Cynthia came up to tell me as I still tried to get to Rachael's office but hearing that made me come to a halt.

"Oow, um…shit, can you tell him that I will call him back in just a little bit? Or did he say it was an emergency?" I figured I should ask before I dismissed his call, but I had to talk to Rachael.

"No." She shook her head.

"Ok then, yes, tell him that, and tell him I love him." I turned to tell her as I stood in front of Rachael's closed door. "Thank you Cynthia." I added before knocking.

"_Come in Alice." _

"How did you know it was me?" I asked when I entered and sat down in my favorite chair.

"It's my company; I know everything that goes on here." She gestured to the building by waving her arm. "What's on your mind?" She smiled.

"Fair enough." I laughed. "So I guess I was wondering if you heard anything new about the Fords." I pried some; Rachael always got the juicy news before anyone else in the building.

"I do in fact." She gave me a devilish smile.

"Do tell." I pulled my chair up a bit closer.

"I found out she doesn't want to start for a few months, so that will give you a break after this one-god knows you need it-and she is practically hell bent on using you, you are pretty much a shoe-in as along as there isn't a major disaster at the Christensen's that turns out to be your fault. Oh, and wait until you hear this, the price I told you about last week is the 'everyone' price, she said she plans on paying _you _a great deal more." She looked at me for a minute but all I could do was let my mouth hang to the floor. "Alice, you are going to be filthy rich sweetheart." She said proudly.

"So she's taking me for sure?" I wanted to double check.

"I talked to her personally and she told me that as long as you want to take her on as a client-obviously if something goes wrong at Sabrina's then she might reconsider, but she really wants you and to pay you a very large sum."

I couldn't believe it, I mean $200,000 was a lot to pay a wedding planner but she was planning on paying me _more _then that, _'a great deal more' _then that? She had to be crazy.

"That's a lot of fucking money." I finally said staring straight ahead past Rachael.

"Are you ok Alice, you're looking a little pale." Rachael furrowed her brow.

"I'm fine. You said she didn't want to start for a couple months? Does she know I'm pregnant and that I'll be going on maternity leave not long after we get started?" I hoped she already knew I didn't want to lose this job because of the baby, but what could I do? I loved my child more then hundreds of thousands of dollars.

"I don't know I haven't told her you're pregnant, I figured that was your business you should be the one to do it." She was right.

"Yeah, I guess when she sees me at the Christensen's she'll figure it out." I was going to be a nervous wreak…when I had the time, which would be never.

"Here's hoping." Rachael held up her hand and crossed her fingers. "Now on to the Christensen's, how is everything going, are you behind, ahead, where you should be, what?" She wondered as she swirled back and forth in her chair.

"I'm a bit ahead actually, there have been nights that I've suffered from insomnia so I've been able to get a great deal of work done, I might have to kill the florist by the time this is through but we'll see how it goes-which by the way, it will go right." I was confident.

"What's going on with the florist?" She got up and went to her mini fridge. "Care for some juice? I have a wide variety OJ, AJ, TJ, CJ, PJ," I laughed at how they all were names.

"I'll take an apple juice please, and I guess nothing is really going on, he just wants to deliver the flowers the day of. I told him if he can't have them there by 9 AM then no, well actually I told an assistant to tell him that," I repeated what I was told. "Hopefully she has some balls." I joked.

"Oh honey, everyone I hire has _'some' _balls, and if they lose or misplace them then they find themselves _displaced _from the company." She said with a smile on her face. "Don't be one of them Alice, I like you too much, but I can't make exceptions because you bring in the most money." The smile was now gone and all seriousness showed.

"I won't let you down, and do I really bring in the most money?" I wanted to know.

"After Clara Ford you will, I've never had an employee stay long enough to accumulate that much before let alone one who does it in just two weddings, I'm glad to have you on the team Alice. And from the sounds of it your baby will want for nothing." She praised me,

"Thanks for having me, it's hard to believe that less then a year ago I was making minimum wage at a cigarette store living in a run down one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend in a dangerous neighborhood." I recalled my recent past.

"Speaking of 'boyfriend' what's going on with baby's daddy?" She pointed her pen at my bump.

"He's doing fine, he's adjusting to this lifestyle quite well I might add, he bought us a house over in The Crossings sub-division on the east side, really a great place." Then it hit me as to why Jasper probably called, the house, we were supposed to hear from Emily today about the credit checks.

"He bought a house? Without you there to approve first?" She seemed surprised.

"I've known him since I was two Rachael, he knows every little thing about me, some people think it's creepy, not me, quite the opposite really but I can't figure out why he even came looking after everything I put him through." When I told Rachael that Jasper knew 'every little thing' I meant _every_, but I knew the same about him, and I had been finding myself wondering more and more lately why I would ever leave someone like him to begin with. What was worse was while I was climbing my way up the career ladder, and keeping my emotions behind closed doors, Jasper had spent his time in the loft with a bottle in his hand, drowning in his sorrows, sorrows that _I _caused, _me_, I really was the bad guy in all of this and for some reason Jazz wouldn't admit it.

"Well honey all I can say is he's here now and that's all anyone can guarantee-don't get me wrong I believe in marriage, hell I've done it four times-but there is no use wallowing in what you can't change and focus on what you've got right in front of you, because in your case sweetie, it's what you were wallowing about that's back in front of you, you've got a second chance to make it right, and those don't come along very often…so take it. Be happy and enjoy the time you have left with just the two of you, I hear after you have a child your sex desire goes down-for the men too-and women just let themselves go, quite doing their hair and make-up, don't try to lose the baby weight, and start wearing clothes from Wal-Mart…just to name a few-of the many-reasons why I chose to never have kids."

"Ok, you're right about the first part and this being my second chance, as for the sex drive…well I guess we'll see, I would _never _let myself go just because I'm a mom, _no way_, and the baby weight will be off as quick as Heidi Klum." I sounded like I was reading it off a list.

"Ok, then tell me this, do you think with everything that Jasper went through when you left that all that baggage just disappeared when you took him back? Chances are it didn't and whose to say he doesn't one day realize that and he leaves you for not being more apologetic or something minimal that guys blow out of proportion." She was testing me.

"I don't think Jasper would ever willingly leave me with how hard he took it when I left…he said he wouldn't wish it on anyone" It was all that was ever on my mind now.

"Ok, but you gotta remember; you left without saying a word, you just walked away, you're telling me if it was turned around that you wouldn't at least cross your mind a few times? Guys tend to let that bottle up and throw it all at you at once. "

"No, I would, but he would never do that to me in the first place…that's what makes him such a better person then me." I tried to get her to understand.

"Alice, what happened doesn't make you a bad person, it was a mistake, everyone makes them, and Jasper is obviously man enough to know that. Be lucky he isn't controlling and obsessive, like some of my exes were, and others were so insecure about everything, one of them didn't even like me hanging out with my gay friends, _gay _Alice. But from the sounds of it Jasper doesn't get jealous often does he?"

"No, he's never really acted like most guys, he has a southern way about him, it must be in his blood or something because he's lived in Washington since he was a tot, and as we grew so did our relationship, but a few years back it stalled out and never started again."

"And that's why you left, because you though you were finally growing apart even though you never thought you would?" She said nodding her head.

"Yeah." What she was telling me was very accurate.

"And now that he came looking for you, you realized that he's still in love with you and your still in love with him and now it seems everything is going perfectly now?

"Yes." I was somewhat shocked.

"There you go then." She threw her hand up in the air.

"What, I don't get it." Now I was confused.

"You are imagining there is a big problem when there isn't, so stop over reacting about your relationship, that what you have a career for." She smiled.

"Yes, a career I have to get back to, I want to be done with everything a week before the wedding so I have room for something to go wrong and be fixed."

"That is why you are better then all the rest, you have the actual _planning _down to a "T", the others spend so much time running around like chickens with their heads cut off that they lose over an entire week just doing that and then they are working on it up until the day of. Michelle told me how fast you were able to put it together and that it was done _4 days _before her wedding day, and you only had 5 weeks to finish, it's a big part of why I hired you. I ordinarily wouldn't have with so little experience, but if Michelle says you're good, then you must be good." She finished her monologue. "So why don't you get back to proving that to me, and let me know if anything juicy happens with you and Jasper." She demanded gossip of me.

"Yeah, I've got some bitching to do." I held up my contact book up showing her what I meant which was the dozens of phone calls I had to make yet today.

"Good luck on that, just remember; if you're mean enough it won't take as long." She advised me.

"Maybe I'll have to tap into my raging hormones." I joked.

"That's the spirit." She apparently didn't get it.

"I'll talk to you later Rachael." I said opening her door and heading back to my own office.

"Alice?" The female assistant from earlier asked though it looked like she didn't want to.

"What's up-" _Oh, shit, I _still _can't remember her name. _"Stacey?" I had hoped it didn't sound too much like I was guessing.

"The florist said that he couldn't get the flowers there that early so he's going to drop them off around 10 PM the night before, I hope that's ok. Otherwise he said he wouldn't be able to get there until 3:30, and since the weddings at 2 that obviously is even time to get them all placed." It all just kept coming out and I guess I had gotten her name right since she didn't correct me.

"That's fine, I'll just have to stay late and wait for him to get there, and can you remind me to make a note next to his contact about his difficulty? I don't want to use him again if he can't have an order ready on time."

"I'll write it on a post-it and put it on your board in your office." The 'board' she was referring to was my white dry-erase board where people but their notes to me or notes I've asked assistants to write for me-like Stacey. "How do you do it?" She asked.

"Do what?" I stopped to look at her.

"Get weddings-something that usually takes at least a year to plan-done in as little as 4 weeks and forgive me I don't mean to sound rude but…you didn't even go to school for this, everyone is dying to know how you are _so _good." She clutched her portfolio waiting for my reply.

I thought about it for a minute and all the different reasons I could say that I was a rock star-not that I liked to brag-how I could help them get to the top-though I wasn't sure how I got there myself-and share my secrets to the trade-but I don't have any-so I answered the best I could.

"First it all starts when you're about 2 and you meet that certain someone who will one day change your life forever. Fast forward a couple of decades and some spare change and you've got yourself a nice solid relationship, then when it goes south, you find out you're pregnant then run away without telling anyone-not even the father-to a new city, become a personal shopper in which time your employer will recommend you to a prestige company and it will allow you to throw yourself into your work to take your mind off the soul mate you left behind, but you find it's impossible because he's been in your life forever you don't even know how to function without him there. So you throw yourself deeper and deeper into your work until it's all you think about, and when you finally look up you might be on the top, you might not, but no matter what you are getting closer to having that baby and you will have a constant reminder of him forever in your child's face. But the suddenly he shows up at your office and declares his love for you and you sort of dive back into you old routine only this time you're happy now and the two of you are waiting for the baby together now." I wouldn't be shocked if she didn't understand it, hell it was hard to say but that was the answer I was giving right now.

"Um…Uhh…I'll put that note on your board like I said." She managed to tell me before quickly turning and walking away.

I wasn't trying to be a bitch but I was _so _sick of people asking me what my secret to success was when the truth was I just happened to be that lucky bitch who got to the top on accident. There were many advantages to being on the top-regardless of how you got there-and it were things like, big paydays, a hefty budget, and most of all acknowledgement for your overall work and skills at such a young age and with no professional experience.

I shut my door when I got in my office and relaxed for a minute in my chair taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes and was letting all my worries slip away for just a moment, until I remembered that Jazz had called earlier. My eyes shot open and I picked up my phone to call him back, it rang several times before he finally picked it up.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, sorry it took me so long to call you back, I was with Rachael." I apologized.

"_It's ok; I figured you were busy seeing as how you are at work."_ He laughed.

"So why were you calling me, do you have good news to share with me?" I asked shaking my leg with anticipation.

"_I do have news, I don't know if you would call it '_good_' news." _He sounded like he was being serious or possibly teasing me.

"What kind of news would you call it then?" I prepared myself for his answer to be 'bad' or something like it.

"_I would call it…how should I put it, I would call it…" _I was getting frustrated with his lack of speed. _"I would call it…great news. We got the house with low rates across the board." _I could now hear the smile in his voice.

"We did, oh my god!" I bounced in my set and it shook my whole desk. "Oh, honey, I'm so glad." I had tears of joy in my eyes knowing that the future I envisioned of us in 50 years was now that much closer.

"_I know me too, so I'm on my way to pick you up from work, I have a dinner reservation for us tonight."_

I was glad he wasn't here to see the look on my face because it would have made anybody think I didn't want to go-which is _so_ not true-but I had a shit load of work to do, there was no way I was getting out of here at 7 o'clock let alone 4:30.

"I really wish I could go sweetie-because god knows I'm starving-I just have way too much to do right now to leave, I actually don't think I will be home until really late or I'm going to have to take some of it home with me if you don't want me here that late." I knew last time I was here until 11 at night he got pissed off because I hadn't called to tell him, this time I was.

"_I already spoke to Rachael and she said it's fine, so be ready to go change in 10 minutes. I'm stuck in traffic but I'm almost there."_

"You are a sneaky little hunk of yummy aren't you?" I couldn't think of what else to say to his answer. "Wait did you say 'changed'? Changed into what exactly, I'm not role playing in a costume outside the house; I've told you this many times before." I wasn't above dressing up for my man every now and then but that was the kind of shit you kept in the house.

"_It's not like that, just humor me, please? I promise it's nothing embarrassing or sluty, just trust me." _He begged.

"Ok, then, I better pack some of my stuff, you are coming up here then I suppose?" It wasn't like I was still a size 2 and could change my clothes easily in the backseat, no now there were all sorts of extra things I had to wear and I had been told it gets worse before it gets better.

"_I'll see you soon, I love you." _He blew a kiss into the phone.

"I love you too." I returned his phone kiss and hung up, putting it in my purse and continued to get my things together.

_I'm so getting Rachael back for this._

After I got my things together I left my office and headed for reception.

"Amanda, will you forward any important-like super important-phone calls to my cell, otherwise send them to my voicemail."

"But try not to send her any calls Amanda." A voice I recognized said from behind me, I turn to confirm my suspicions. "That was a quick 10 minutes." I told him.

"That's because I was speeded. I just couldn't wait to see you and get out evening started." He smiled and gave me a loving kiss in full view. "Speaking of evening; here you go." He held out a large pink bag with purple tissue paper.

I took the gift and held it in my hands for a few seconds.

"Well open it." He pushed.

I pulled the paper out and underneath it I pulled out a short black party dress. It was a halter with a puffy bottom; it had a few white swirls in it with a hint of silver glitter on that part. It was stunning.

"Jasper it's beautiful." I looked up at him. "But I don't have-"

"-The shoes to wear with it?" He finished and picked up a smaller purple bag with pink tissue paper. "I figured you would say that, and don't worry I didn't pick them out the sales lady did that part. Also in the shoe bag you will find some jewelry and a black headband to match." He put his hands behind his back.

"Thank you babe." I hugged him and he hugged back. "I love them, and I love you." My voice was muffled in his shoulder.

"I'm glad you like them, and I love you too, now hurry and go get changed, you're evening of dreams awaits milady." He tried his best to achieve an old British accent but failed miserable in front a quite a few gazers. "Will you please just go get dressed and I'll get your bags and coat from your office?" He started to laugh when he noticed all the people smiling and laughing at his performance.

"I'll be out in 10 minutes." I told him before turning and heading to the bathroom, I quickly locked the door behind me before any of the other nosy females in the office came in looking for some new hot gossip.

The dress fit perfectly along with the shoes-surprisingly-I let my hair down and smoothed it out with my hands before putting the black over-sized headband in. the jewelry he spoke of was silver, the pendant on the necklace I recognized; it was my family crest, my whole family had one that they wore, the guys-even Jasper, my mom said he was a Cullen at heart-had matching wristbands and the girls had different necklaces, I usually wore a chocker with a much small pendant but it ceased to fit a few months ago. This one was much like Rosalie's-which she inherited when she married Emmett, like Bella did with Edward-it was much smaller then Rose's-though I didn't care, I tried not to stick out as much as Rose did-and hung off the gorgeous feminine chain, it was beautiful, and matched perfectly. There was a silver large chain link charm bracelet with a bunch charms on it, it looked kinda like it came from _Tiffany's _but there was no way Jasper had $4,500 to spend on a bracelet, never the less I still loved it, the charms appeared to be hand chosen by Jazz judging by what they were. There was a snowboard-from the times we spent on the slopes, our favorite snow activity-a surfboard-from the _one _time we went surfing and both hated it-a shopping bag-for my spending habits-a baby rattle touched me and brought tears to my eyes-there also was a peanut-because of my small size-a sailboat-from the times we spent together out on my fathers-and a closed book-which I can only assume was my planner that I now carried everywhere. I held back the tears so they wouldn't disturb my make-up then when I was ready to be seen I unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out into the so-called spotlight.

I found Jasper easy enough, he was the guy holding a bunch of bags by the reception area and like most others he had a look of amazement on his face. I ignored everyone else and headed straight for the man I loved.

"Wow, the dress was pretty and all but with you in it…wow!" He was at a loss for words.

"Thank you for the bracelet and necklace." My jingling hand went to my new pendant.

"I have to admit I had some help from your mom, I guess the pendant belonged to your great-grandmother Cullen and I had asked Esme if she knew where I could get one for you and she gave me that one." He pointed to my neck. "She helped me pick out the chain, the bracelet, and the charms; I tried to get ones that symbolized you or us." He explained.

"I thought so, I was looking at them and they all reminded me of something." I held up my wrist and jingled it.

"But I couldn't find a day planner or something to do with wedding planning so I settled for the book." He added.

"I knew what it meant, I know you well Jasper Xavier." I leaned in and smiled.

"Please don't use my middle name." He looked around to see if anyone was listening.

"Oh, come on it's not like any of them know who you are." I knew he was up-tight about it around family, but strangers?

"Doesn't matter. Are you ready to go?" He quickly changed the subject.

"Do you have all my bags?" I started counting them all.

"If I don't then I don't know how you get these up here everyday." He spoke of the weight.

"They're starting to get too heavy; it's going to exceed the weight limit for the following trimester real soon."

"All the more reason you should consolidate some how." He said as we waited for the elevator.

"Hum, well if you figure out a way to do that let me know because I have yet to." I looked straight ahead at the closed doors.

"I will." He was confident.

"Ok, you do that then." I still looked ahead.

We left my car at work and headed out into the beginning of 5 o'clock traffic, meaning we would be stuck for at least a half hour.

"I hope the reservation isn't for like…now." I told him as we came to a stop.

"No, we've got until 6; I figured this would happen so I got to your office early." He looked over at me and he was totally enticing me.

I shook my head and snapped out of it. "So where are we going?" I asked looking ahead at the traffic so our conversation could proceed.

"It's a secret, but you'll love it I'm sure." He was being coy.

"Why does it have to be a secret?" I pressed.

"Because, it just does, I'm not telling you so you might as well give up." He declared as we inched forward.

"Fine I see how it is." I pouted like I always did to get my way.

"It's not going to work this time Ali, I promise you." He just stared at the road and shook his head. "I swear to god it won't." He now looked me in the eye and smiled. "See what I mean?"

I quit my childish act when I realized for the first time _ever _it didn't work. "Wow, you must really want to surprise me." I concluded to him when I gave up.

"Yes, I do, and thank you for not being too difficult."

"You're wel- wait a second _'too difficult'_-I wasn't even being difficult let alone 'too difficult'." I was flabbergasted

"Ok, bad choice of words, but you have to admit it's true to certain degree." He tried to compromise.

I thought about it and drew a conclusion. "Yeah, you're right I guess…but I wasn't being difficult today, I went willingly when you said Rachael was cool with it." I defended myself.

"Yes, you did, what I meant to say was I thought I was going to have to do a lot more convincing then just that with the wedding in two weeks. How is everything going with that are you nervous or anything?" He wanted to know.

"I'm a little nervous but not as much as I was." I couldn't wait to see the look on his face.

"Why is that?" He took the bait.

"Because I found out today that Clara Ford wants me if I feel up to taking her." I couldn't hide the smile anymore. "Which duh, I am."

"You did, really, oh Alice I'm so happy for you!" He truly was excited as he leaned over and hugged me since we remained at a stand still.

"Oh, and one more thing, she plans on paying me _more_ then the 200,000, that was just the price on paper for other planners if she couldn't get me, and she doesn't want to start planning for a few months so I'll get that break you've been on my ass about." I pulled away enough to see his face.

"Holy shit, which was already a lot of money to start." He seemed shocked. "That could pay a lot for the house even after taxes plus what you make salary wise." He seemed to be adding it all up in his head.

"I know right, I couldn't believe it either." I laughed about it. Behind us someone honked their horn and when we looked up we realized the traffic had started to move again.

We got out of the traffic and were headed for our destination. When we came to a stop I suddenly realized what Jazz was so secretive about.

The restaurant he had chosen was one famous for proposals, I looked over at him and realized that he was nicely dressed and had now become nervous.

"Are you ready to go in?" He asked with a smile after clearing his throat.

I looked at the building and back at Jasper thinking about what was going to happen in there. "Yes, I am, are you going to come open my door like a southern gentlemen or what?" I asked.

He laughed and got out to come around to my side. I had already decided what I was going to tell him if he proposed tonight but I was still nervous.


	16. Citizen Soldiers Part 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update I got a serious case of writers block even though I knew what I needed and wanted to cover in this chapter, maybe it was lack of motivation as much as I hate to say it but have no fear the show must go on! Other then that the only thing I really have to say is this is a two-part chapter, this is obviously Part 1, Part 2 will be up…well I guess when I finish it hopefully in a week or so and I promise I will get to the proposal soon, I know you have all been wait patiently for it and it will come I swear, so until that time arrives enjoy!**

And on that day

That you need you brothers and sisters to care

I'll be right here

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones

That we guide from the dark of despair

_Citizen Soldier – By 3 Doors Down_

**4 Days Earlier**

Jasper POV

My week started filling up fast and it was only Monday, but with my job interview with Peter on Thursday so I didn't mind the things that were going to keep me busy until then. Like today; today I was going to Port Angeles to pack up the loft, Emmett was going to be at the house along with Rosalie who was experiencing her first day of bed rest after she started having contractions late last night. It was not going to be an easy day for her I was sure, meaning it wouldn't be easy for Em either.

I backed the jeep up into the familiar driveway and stopped it short of the stairs like I wanted then I got out and headed into the main house.

"Hello?" I said as I wiped my wet shoes.

"We're in the living room Jazz!" I heard Emmett call.

I followed the path to the space and found both Emmett and Rosalie in a hospital bed sitting up; the only difference was Rosalie was wearing a blood pressure cuff and three separate fetal monitors.

"Whoa, I thought you were on bed rest not hospice?" I teased my currently disabled sister simply because I could.

"Ha, Ha, very funny. No, Carlisle did all this; he had the bed delivered this morning and gave us these monitors last night." She explained. "We have to watch the heart rate if it drops below 120 beats per minute then we have to call him back and he may have to deliver the babies early, but it's still too soon, Carlisle says with every day they stay inside the less chances there are for complications." She sounded like she was trying to stay positive.

"Just hang in there a little longer Rose." I sat on the edge of the bed and squeezed her hand. "You're almost to the finish line." I was more serious now.

"And I'll get there…for my babies I will get there." She smiled confidently.

"It's been a long tough road but we're not giving up now." Emmett took her free hand and held it tightly. "Right babe?" He asked her.

"That's right." She nodded. "Besides I guess it's not that long really, Carlisle is planning on late April early May now instead of May 15, so like 8 weeks which isn't bad." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "Oh, who am I kidding, I'm going to _die _in here, literally die of boredom, I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do for 8 fucking weeks, it's just ridiculous."

Emmett motioned to the door with his eyes and I started to back out of the room while Rosalie kept bitching away and Emmett managed to get off the bed without her noticing too. She was still complaining when we went outside and had shut the house door.

"Damn she is a truckload isn't she?" Emmett asked me as we headed for the garage.

"I told you that long before you married her but you didn't listen." I chuckled.

"I know you did but Jazz man trust me it's a hell of a lot worse, it's actually gotten worse since you left which I don't know why or how, because she is so happy you aren't drinking yourself into a coma in our garage.

"I think it's just hormones, it should get better after the babies get here, although you need to watch out for signs of postpartum depression, the symptoms are in that book, I guess it can get so bad that mother's will actually kill their children or themselves or both, I don't know about you but I don't want my family destroyed over a chemical imbalance." When I read that section of the book I dog-eared it to go back to after the baby came to help me keep an eye on Alice. We approached the door and I got my keys out to unlock it.

"No way, after all we went through, I will definitely read that, thanks bro." He slugged my shoulder as we entered the loft.

I was shocked to see that there were no empty liquor bottles and it was-for the most part-clean.

"Did you do this?" I turned to ask him as I pointed to the area.

"Yeah, I figured you didn't want to see those bottles and shit anymore then we did so I did a little housework." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I also got you some boxes to pack you stuff in." He walked over to a bunch of new broken-down boxes that were leaning against the walls. "If you don't mind…I'd like to help, I can't be in there with Rose longer then I have to." He jabbed his thumb toward the main house.

"Sure man, I'd be glad to be your savior today." I mocked him.

"Thanks." It either went right over his head, or that was how he truly felt. "So are you guys fully moving in this weekend then?" He asked as he grabbed a box and packing tape.

"I don't know, it kinda sounds like it but I guess Alice hasn't told me one way or another." I joined him in making boxes before we got started.

"So this is all going to the storage unit?" He wondered.

"Yeah, I just thought that since you would be home today with Rose that I'd stop by and do it now, plus I'm going to Forks to talk to Carlisle anyway." I shared my plan.

"That's cool, what are going to see Carlisle about?" He investigated.

"Oh, um…I just have some pregnancy questions I wanted to ask, and get some fatherly advice on how to be a father, I'd ask mine but I plan on being an 'active' father-like Carlisle." I lied through my teeth, but not really there was some truth to it, I did want the father's advice, I just left out the other business I needed to take care of.

"Look at you being all super-daddy, you know about the depression signs, you want advice from Carlisle, you're really stepping up to the plate man, I'm proud of you." He smacked me on the back and I had to fight to keep my balance from the force of it.

"I just want to be the best I can be for both Alice and the baby, they deserve it" Alice may disagree with that statement but I obviously didn't, she had made her mistakes and was learning from them, I knew she was sorry but she still beat herself up about it, and above all she kept saying she didn't deserve me, which I did _not_ agree with.

"That's the kind of thing every brother hopes to hear from his sister's boyfriend." He knelt down and began packing up my DVD's, PS3 games, and the console. "Hey, that reminds me…when are you going to ask my sister to marry you?" He looked at me from where I now stood in the kitchen. "Because if you ask me; you are already way behind, like years behind." He laughed at me.

"Don't worry about it; I've got everything under control." I attempted to reassure him.

"That means you have something planned?" He happily concluded.

"No it doesn't." I tried brushing it off, but Em wouldn't have it.

"When? Where?" He pried.

"Don't know and haven't decided." I answered both his questions. "Now will you please shut up about it?" I was done talking about it since I didn't have anything to say to begin with because I didn't have a fucking clue about what-and how-I was going to do it.

"Fine have it your way." He held his hands up finally dropping it and returning to his task at hand.

I decided to leave the couch and big furniture there since we wouldn't need it in our new house, even though I'm sure if we did Alice would say something like it didn't match or it was too old-both of which were true-so I wasn't going to waste my time. Since it was only my stuff we were packing we got it done in less then half the time and it all fit in the jeep.

"Thanks for your help man, I'd stick around and chat but like I said; I still need to get to Forks and I want to be home as close to Alice as possible, so will you tell Rose I love her and kiss the belly for me?" I asked him when I shut the hatch officially finished with this particular project.

"Sure thing, but you know I'm going to want to know what you talked about with my dad." He picked the subject back up again.

"Not from my mouth you won't, and if I know your dad-which I do-then you won't hear it from his either." I laughed knowing Carlisle would never break anyone's trust-much like Edward-that's what made him easy to talk to.

"That's just plain mean." He retaliated as I got in the car.

"Goodbye Emmett." I smiled when I shut the door and put the key in the ignition starting it up.

"It's cruel I tell you!" He yelled at me as I pulled out of the driveway.

It was about an hour drive to Forks from Port Angeles and while I shouldn't have been nervous to talk to Carlisle I still was. There had been many times in my life that I went to him over my own father, one; because he always made time for his kids even though he saved lives for a living unlike mine who only sat behind a desk, two; because Carlisle was the last person to judge someone, he would just listen, my father would convict someone before even hearing them out and three; because all in all he was the picture perfect role model father my dad just wasn't, so these things only helped the situation.

But there was still these giant knots in my stomach because I wasn't just going to Carlisle for any ole advice…I was going to ask permission to marry his daughter.

As I was walking up the stairs to the front door the knots tightened but I ignored it and opened the door. I had seen Carlisle's Mercedes in the driveway along with Esme's Lexus IS F so I knew they were both there and since I had been coming in and out of their house for most of my life I had no problem going in without knocking.

_Here's hoping they aren't doing something naughty._

"Hello?" I called out as I took my shoes and coat off. "Anybody home?" I added.

Esme poked her head around a corner to see who it was and when she saw me she hurried to the door.

"Jasper, well this is certainly a surprise, is Alice with you?" She asked as she hugged me and looked behind me.

"No, it's just me and sorry to just drop in on you like this but I need to talk to Carlisle is he busy?"

"He's up in his study, I'm sure he's not _too_ busy." She mocked him. "Is everything ok?" Her mother's instincts kicked in.

"Yeah, Esme, everything's fine, just guy stuff." I shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

"Ok, well like I said he's up there, are you hungry I could make you something to eat if you want?" She continued to mother me.

"No, I'm good, but thank you." Esme was too kind for words and I was so happy that my child was going to get her as a grandmother, hell I couldn't wait until I got to call her my mother-in-law so I wouldn't feel so weird seeing her as a second mom. I was the only person not tied to the Cullen family in one way or another though I was still a part of it the same as anyone else.

"Alright sweetie, well holler if you change your mind." She squeezed my shoulders before returning to the room she came from.

The knots continued to tighten as I went up to the third floor where Carlisle's office was well as a couple bedrooms. I stopped short of the open door and thought seriously about turning back but it would have looked strange since I already had told Esme why I was here. I took a deep breath and appeared in the doorway; he was reading something on his desk and didn't see me so I knocked.

"Jasper, this is a surprise, come in." He looked up at me and pointed to one of the empty chairs across from him. "Is everything alright?" He also asked.

"No nothing's wrong, I'm sorry to just show up unannounced but I was hoping you had a minute, I'd like to talk to you about something if you don't mind." I sounded like an idiot as I sat down, Carlisle was someone I talked to often yet it was all coming out like we hardly ever spoke a word to each other.

"Of course I have time, you're family I always have time for family." He smiled as he took his reading glasses off.

"It's funny you say that, because that's what I want to talk to you about." It was only kind of the reason; I was having a hard time getting started so I took the opening I had.

"You came to talk to me about 'family'?" He looked confused.

"Sort of…I came to-what I wanted to ask is-this is coming out wrong." I rubbed my face in frustration at my loss for words.

"Jasper whatever it is you can tell me, I see you as a third son much like I see Rosalie and Bella as second daughters." He was trying to make it easy for me.

"That's good; it might make what I want to ask a bit easier."

"Just take a deep breath and tell me what is it you want to ask." He was being patient with me.

"Kay…um…lately I've been doing a lot of thinking-about me and Alice and where we stand." It was coming out better now.

"Ok." He encouraged.

"And I think I've figured it out…so I came here today because…I wanted to ask…you're permission to…marry your daughter sir." I finally finished.

"That's what you wanted to ask?" He acted like it was something little, and I nodded my head in agreement. "Jasper, of course you have my blessing-you always have-I honestly didn't think you would have thought you needed to ask _me _first." He was shocked.

"I'm from the South, I was raised to get a blessing from the woman's family, and I know it's old fashioned but it was something I wanted to do." I informed him of my reasons.

"Well I couldn't be happier, I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ask her, then when you two fell out I thought that might be why it never came up. I thought that now you might think about it with the baby on the way but I'm not as old fashioned as my father was, a child doesn't need to have married parents to be happy-so I hope you aren't doing it just because of the baby right?" It wasn't really a question.

"No sir, I just really and I mean _really _love your daughter. The baby was just the frosting on the cake so to speak, what I'm trying to get at is; I love your daughter and have thought about asking her to marry me in the past but the timing just wasn't ever right and now with the baby it's rekindled my interest regardless of the timing." I still didn't think I got my point-or answer-across but I had already butchered it enough.

"Ok, ok, don't hurt yourself, I was just asking." He made fun of me. "So my daughter will officially become a Hale-or Whitlock-Hale which is it?" He asked.

"Well first I have to get her to say 'yes'." The knots were now gone and I was able to converse with Carlisle like any other time.

"Something tells me she will. It's no secret Jazz in how Ali feels for you; I don't think she would have done what she did if she didn't love you."

"What do you mean?" This was a new take on the situation.

"I don't think Alice could bear knowing about your pain and that's why she never came back or called because she knew that you would suffer for a while, I don't think she had any idea how bad it would get and that time wouldn't heal it but she knew there would be some and even that she couldn't take…but that's just my theory, only she knows why she did what she did, one things for certain and that is; she loves you."

What Carlisle was saying could be true and maybe the new job just happened to be what took her two hours way from the life we had built together in Port Angeles but I thought he was right; she still wouldn't have been able to see me hurt, and man was I ever hurtin'.

"So how do you plan on doing it, asking her I mean?" I was glad he asked that because I didn't have a clue how it was done correctly.

"Actually, I was wondering how you proposed to Esme? It took Edward multiple times to get it right and…well…we both know how Emmett's went." We both laughed thinking about it, Emmett mostly; the tale really was something to tell. He had planned to take Rosalie to her favorite restaurant but he didn't have a reservation so they waited over an hour for a table, he was also so incredibly nervous that he drank too much resulting in a slurred proposal itself, and the ring was too small to even fit half her finger. Rosalie obviously got over it all and said 'yes' but she later informed us that she almost didn't, to this day it was mockery of Emmett both behind his back and to his face.

"To tell you the truth Esme's was pretty simple; I bought her flowers and took her to dinner-have a reservation that's important as I'm sure you've figured out-expressed how I felt to her and at the end of that speech I got down on one knee and proposed. Something tells me though that that's not Alice's style, it's always best to go with the girl's particular likes, Esme doesn't like things over the top when it comes to love, we're very private-much like you and Alice-but my suggestion with Ali is do something out of the ordinary something she wouldn't expect you to do, do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I think I do and I think you also just gave me my idea, I know what she wouldn't expect, thank you Carlisle." I was very grateful.

"You're welcome, and like I said you can come to me about anything." He repeated himself.

"To be honest with you I was almost too nervous to come here today, I'm not sure why but I was." I admitted.

"Just remember you don't ever have to be," He stood and I followed suit. "And if it's all the same with you I'm going to keep this from Esme because she won't be able to contain herself and we both know if Alice finds out you asked me first she will have a conniption." He smiled as he led me out of the office and patted me on the back. "So we're going to lie to her." He clarified.

"Ok, I see nothing wrong with that, and yes, you're right, Alice will tell me she is not yours to give away yada, yada." I replied as we headed down the stairs.

"Well I wish you the best of luck and maybe you will do better then my other sons." He said quietly since we were approaching Esme's office on the main floor. "Hi, honey." He spoke much louder to get her attention, I caught how he said 'other sons' and if we had had the opportunity I would have said something about it.

"Well hello." She got up from the plans at her desk and walked around to us. "Did you two get all of your talking done?"

"Yes, I think we did, Jasper here was just looking for some advice on being a father." Carlisle once again slapped my back while he lied through his teeth.

"Is that the 'guy stuff' you had to speak about?" She looked at me.

"Yeah, you know who better to go to then a father who did well with his three, of course that couldn't have been achieved without his better half-at least that's what he told me." I added to our white lie.

"If that's the case then I'm flattered." She grinned at me before turning her attention back to her husband and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Esme, I was wondering if you could tell me where you get the Cullen crests made at, I don't think Alice's choker fits anymore because I never see her wear it so I wanted to get her another one so she can wear it while she's pregnant." When Carlisle suggested an idea several came to mind and this was one of them so I decided to hit two birds with one stone.

"I've noticed that too and assumed the same thing; she's hardly taken it off since I gave it to her when she was 12. Actually I think I have a better idea, come with me."

She took my hand leading me out of the room and back upstairs this time to hers and Carlisle's bedroom a part of the house I had only been in maybe twice in my life. She let go of me and started opening and closing multiple drawers in search of something.

"Where is it, I know I have it here someplace, aha here it is!" She grabbed something too small for me to see out of a large jewelry box. "This was originally Carlisle's great-grandmother's who gave it to his grandmother who gave it to his mother and she gave it to me right before she died. I think it's time for Alice to have it now that she's starting a family of her own." Tears welled up in Esme's eyes when she handed me a small pendant, it was the Cullen crest, it looked like Rose's only much smaller and less gaudy-well as a guy I saw it that way most women complemented her on it.

"It's beautiful Esme, Alice will love it I'm sure," I held it in my hand and realized it was chainless. "What kind of chain should I use do you think?"

"Carlisle's mom used a solid chain but I think a medium sized linked one would look good on her." She spoke as if I knew what she was saying.

"You've completely lost me." Everything she had just said didn't even sound like English.

"Come on, we still have some time before the shops close." She looped her arm in mine and we headed back downstairs. "Carlisle, Jasper and I are going shopping, we'll be back shortly!" She called back up the stairs when she realized he wasn't on the main floor anymore.

"Ok, sweetheart, I'll see you soon, I love you and bye Jasper!" He yelled back down from what sounded like his office meaning we walked right past him.

"Thanks again Carlisle!" I quickly shouted.

"I love you too, and I'm making dinner when I get back so don't spoil your appetite!" She added before walking to the front door putting her coat and boots on and I also did the same. "Are you ready?" She asked when we were both bundled up for the elements outside.

"Yes I am where are we going?" I wondered as we headed for her car.

"To the jewelers to get a chain for that crest." She told me opening the car door.

I took in the cars beauty for a moment before getting in, it was glossy black with black rims and blacked out windows, it didn't fit her personality at all but it fit the Cullen name which was known for having expensive cars at least this particular branch of the family tree was, Alice and I-though I wasn't a Cullen technically speaking-were the only ones who didn't have a car over $50,000 although I was sure that wouldn't be the case for long Alice's care was getting old-er and was sure to break down soon and with her nice sized income she would surely get one then.

"I was hoping you would say that." I replied finally getting in.

"And you know good fathers-to-be get the mommy a gift in celebration of being pregnant then there's also the push gift." She said turning the engine over and it purred to life.

"Are you saying I should get Alice something else other then the necklace and what's a 'push gift'?" I had never heard of that before.

"Well technically the pendant is being handed down, if you want to get cheap about it-which I know you don't-then yeah that can be the gift and a push gift is what you get the mom-to-be after the baby is born, kind of like saying 'you just went through hell and back to have our baby, thank you', it's a nice gesture because there is a whole lot of pain even with drugs you still feel a shit load-pardon my French." I laughed internally at her 'pardon my French' since it was what she always said after she swore and whether she knew it or not it was still funny.

"Alright well today I will focus on the mother-to-be gift and the necklace; I'll deal with the push gift later." Everyday I was learning something new about pregnancy etiquette or pregnancy alone, especially since I started reading that book I bought.

We got to the jewelry store about a half hour before they closed and I sort of felt bad until we went inside.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen, it's so nice to see you again." The old man behind the counter told her with joy in his voice.

"Hello Mr. Anderson, yes I am back, but it's not for me this time, my daughter's boyfriend is looking for a chain to go with this crest." She held her hand out for me to give it to her and I fished for it in my pocket. "Mr. Anderson this is Jasper, Jasper this is Mr. Anderson who makes the crests for me." She introduced us while I still dug for the thing; I finally got a hold of it and pulled it out.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Anderson; I like the work you've done." I shook his hand and gave him the pendant.

"Thank you, I'm always glad to hear my works appreciated, now you said this was for your daughter I assume that would be Alice am I correct?" He turned his attention back to Esme after he gave me back the crest.

"Yes, you know she and Jasper are expecting their first child in less then four months." She said like the proud grandma she was.

"Oh really, well congratulations Mr. Jasper." The man smiled at me again.

"Thank you." I replied.

"Isn't your son's wife expecting triplets soon too?" He asked Esme.

"Yes, she is she's actually Jasper's twin." She replied.

"That sure is something, sounds like your family kinda gravitates toward the Cullens then?"

"Just me and my sister, my folks retired to Texas where we're originally from." I educated him.

"So he needs to get a mother-to-be gift as well, and for the necklace I was thinking like a medium sized linked chain in silver obviously and what would you suggest for his mommy gift?" It sounded like she dealt with him all the time just like she said she did.

"Well first let's deal with the chain, these that I have over here are real silver and will accent the crest itself." He took out several choices and put them on a velvet cloth. "Are any of these what you're talking about?" He looked at me but I didn't know.

"Esme?" I looked to her for an answer.

She looked at the ones out for a moment before looking inside the case again and in the one next to it.

"This one Jasper, it will look perfect on Alice's neck line." She pointed at one inside the other case. Mr. Anderson started putting away the other chains and I went to see what Esme was talking about, after seeing it I realized what she had been trying to tell me at the house.

"Oh, now I get it, and you're right it's perfect." I looked at the crest and back at the chain. "I'll take this one Mr. Anderson." I told him even though he was still dealing with the others. "What should I get her as a gift?" I turned to look at Esme.

"I was just thinking about that and when I saw these few charms I thought that might be a good idea, what do you think?" She wondered as she now focused on the ballet shoes, dice, and school bus.

"Do you have more charms then these three Mr. Anderson?" I asked him when he came over finally.

"Oh yes, all the cases in the center are filled with them and bracelets." He gestured behind us. "Which one did you choose?" He answered then asked his own question.

"That one right there, three from my left." I pointed to it the best I could but he got it right anyway.

"A charm bracelet is a good mother-to-be gift you can fill it with a few charms that represent the baby or leave space to add more, some like to put ones on there that represent something special to them a specific time that stuck out." He suggested.

"I think I have a few ideas, but I might need your help Esme." I told her as I turned around to look at all the other charms.

"That's what I'm here for." She reminded me as she too started looking.

About an hour later-well after closing time-when we left the store I had purchased the chain for the crest, an empty bracelet, and seven charms to add to it and we were now on our way back to the house.

"Thank for all your help today Esme." I turned my head to tell her.

"Oh don't worry about it sweetheart, I've helped all my other sons pick something out for their women at least once."

That was the second time today I had been directly referred to as one of their own.

"You know I guess I never realized how much you and Carlisle considered me a part of your family, I mean Bella and Rosalie I get they're married to your real sons, by law they are your daughters, me…I'm just the guy whose been dating your daughter for the last ten years, and is getting ready to have a baby. I'm not saying that I feel left out because I don't but when you think about it other then the baby I'm not really tied to the Cullen family." I hoped she didn't take what I was trying to say the wrong way.

"Jasper, you've been a Cullen since the day we met you, it was the same with your sister and Bella, it's not marriage that defines who family is to us, it's love and Carlisle and I-as well as the boys and Alice-we love you as much as if you were biologically related to us, you, Rose, and Bella, you three are kind of like the adopted kids, at least me and Carlisle adopted you as our children."

"I think it's safe to say all three of us adopted you guys too, it may be three names but its one family or something like that." I tried to sound insightful.

"Exactly." She said never taking her eyes off the road.

"I was actually telling Alice something like that before she called you, something like; 'even though we don't all share the same DNA we're still family and family is the one you are suppose to turn to when things get ugly, not run from." I recalled my discussion with her.

"You are much smarter then you let on Jasper Hale, you need to tap into that unused potential." She slapped my knee a few times. "Like work for example; what do you want to do, do you have a career in mind?" And here came the mothering that we'd avoid this whole trip.

"I'm not sure; I guess I need to figure it out now that I have a family coming." I saw where she was coming from.

"That's not what I meant, when I say you have unused potential I mean that you think yourself less capable then what you truly are, and I think it's because you're afraid you might become your father and spend all your time holed up in a skyscraper."

_Damn, she's good._

"But you're not your father Jasper, just like Carlisle isn't his, everyone says that they don't want to be like their parents when they have kids and in some ways you will be no matter what, in the end though just remember the things you want to be different and you won't come out a duplicate. And it is possible to be a loving partner, dedicated father, and have a career, look at me and Carlisle, we did it." She finished her psycho-analyzing/motivational speech and it all made sense to me.

"I plan on putting my feelers out there now that we have a place and everything is back to the way it was-well close enough." I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear, but it was also kind of true.

"Just promise me when you're looking you don't sell yourself short?" She asked me.

"I promise." I didn't think $100,000 a year was selling myself short but I didn't have the job yet, though seeing as how Edward pushed me to go so bad I figured I had to have a pretty good shot, he wouldn't just send me to get eaten by the wolves.

It was well past dark when we got back to the Cullen house and I still had a three in-a-half-hour drive back to Seattle.

_So much for getting home close to Alice, though I haven't heard from her so maybe she's still at work._

"Do you want to stay and eat something before you go?" Esme continued her mothering when we got out of the car.

"No, I kind of just want to get home to Alice, I haven't talked to her all day so I sort of miss her, but I did want to ask you one more favor?" I hoped she wouldn't mind, and lucky for me it wasn't in Esme's nature to be selfish.

"What's that dear?" She asked setting her car alarm.

"I was hoping that we could keep our little shopping adventure a secret for now, I want to surprise Alice with these and if she knows I was with you she might suspect I was shopping and go nosing around the hotel room." If she agreed I planned on calling Emmett and asking him to cover for me and to tell Rose to stay quiet about it and I'd tell her later, any chance for juicy gossip and Rose was all over it like white on rice.

"Seeing as how what you're saying about Alice is true then I guess I can cover for you for a while, but if you have to lie to her then you come clean about it after you give those to her?" She pointed her finger at me and she wasn't really asking me to she was _telling._

"Yes, ma'am." When Esme told you to do something you did it, she was a sweet and loving woman, but she wasn't one you wanted to cross. "Alright, well thank you again, and I'm sure I will see you soon." I closed our conversation and hugged her for a moment.

"Ok, you be careful driving home and send a text or call when you get there and I love you." She kissed my cheek then wiped the lipstick stain off for me.

"I will, I'll do it when I get to the valet, thank you for the advice and I love you too." I promised her and she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Drive safe!" She told me as I closed my car door. I honked my horn before I disappeared into the wooded drive.

I called Emmett along the way and told him my plan-excluding the part about it being for the proposal-and he promised he would control Rosalie saying it would be easier then usual because she couldn't get up for silly things like her phone. Everything was falling into place, I had a few more stops to make which would have to wait until another day then all I had to do was pick a time and place and figure out what the fuck I was going to say.

_Maybe I was getting ahead of myself thinking this would be easy._


	17. Citizen Soldiers Part 2

Jasper POV

After I had finally gotten home Monday night I found Alice fast asleep and a note on my nightstand saying she went to bed at 4:00, that she loved me, and to kiss her when I got home but not to wake 'the beast'. When I awoke the following morning she had already left leaving yet another note this one saying there was an emergency with the final dress fitting, it was no skin off my nose because that was longer that I didn't have to lie about some of my events this week.

When I was presentable to the world I sat down to my computer and looked up the nicer restaurants in Seattle, I decided to go with Italian seeing as how our first real date was at an Olive Garden and we had a blast. My plan was for Thursday especially if I got that music job, and if it fell through well a reservation wasn't exactly signing your life away or anything, I could always change my mind, and this was hoping that I could even get one on such short notice. Thankfully Lady Luck was on my side and the one I had chosen for its great reviews and reputation for proposals had a table available at 6 o'clock, the only downside was rush hour traffic would slow us down if we didn't leave enough time for back-ups and that wasn't really a downside if you asked me, just a hurdle with Alice's work.

Today I had plans to go back to the maternity store that Alice and I had gone to and pick something out for her to wear for our dinner date, it was like Carlisle said; do something that she wouldn't expect, and she would never expect me to go clothes shopping for her-outside of dirty lingerie-the bracelet and the necklace were just an extra touch. On my way to _Hush Baby_ to see Tanya again I was hoping she would remember me and what Alice looked like. My phone rang and I saw that it was Emily. She had told us she would call yesterday letting us know how it went with the bank and as far as I could tell she didn't seeing as how it was my number she had and I had my phone on me all day.

"Hey, Emily." I answered with a smile wanting to hear good news.

"_Hi, Jasper, sorry I didn't call yesterday I got completely swamped, I just wanted to let you know that everything came back fine and that if you want you can stop by the house Thursday, sign the final papers and I can hand over the keys to your new home." _She finished quickly like she was still busy.

"That's great, I can do it before 12:30 if that's ok, I have plans I can't break."

"_Sure thing, how does 11 sound?_

"Sounds like a date-well not really a date cause you know I'm very much in love with Alice and we're about to have a baby so…definitely not a date, I mean it is a set _time and_ _date _but not like a romantic sort of date or anything-" I had no idea why I stumbled like such an idiot but I did.

"_Jasper!" _She yelled to stop my rambling_. "I think I get what you meant and don't worry about I didn't take it the wrong way to begin with, so I'll see you there at 11 then."_ She tried to make me feel better.

"11." I repeated. "See you then Emily."

"_Bye Jasper." _She replied before hanging up.

It was looking more and more like Thursday was going to be the day to do it, the house would be ours, and if luck continued to play on my team then I would have a job-well actually a career-by then too. I was on cloud nine the rest of the drive to the store and I was depending on Tanya being there.

"Hi, welcome to _Hush Baby, _I'm Carmen can I help you find anything today?" A woman with beautiful olive skin and black hair asked just like Tanya did before.

"Yes actually, I'm looking for Tanya, she helped me and my girlfriend about a month back-who is very difficult to shop for by the way-and I need her to help me pick out a dress." I explained my reasons for my request.

"She is, if you want to wait here I'll send her out."

"That would be great." I was jumping up and down like a little kid on the inside, but kept it cool on the outside.

"Kay." She swung her long hair as she spun around to leave.

I shoved my hands in my pocket feeling awkward being a man in a maternity store without a pregnant woman, but since it was for Alice I could handle it. I looked at some of the choices on the racks around the entrance where I waited to occupy my mind. I took the necklace out of my pocket having decided that I was going to get a black dress to match or whatever Tanya said would match to get her to wear them all at once.

"Are you the gentlemen looking for me?" I heard the familiar voice behind me.

"Yes, I am." I turned around to face her. "I don't know if you remember me I came in with a short brunette she was about five months along, I warned you she was difficult to work with, and she kept you back there for several hours." I tried to jog her memory.

"Ah yes, um her name was…" She racked her brain searching for it. "It was…Alice right?" She perked up as she remembered. "And you are…Jasper?"

"Oh, thank god you remember because today I'm doing the unthinkable and that is buying Alice a dress." I was relieved she did and I was sure I sounded like the desperate man I was.

"Ok, was there a particular kind of dress you were thinking about?" She turned to go into the labyrinth of racks.

"I guess…formal, maybe? I plan on proposing Thursday and I wanted to do something unexpected, and _this _is definitely it." I pointed to the clothes as we walked.

"Well congratulations and I hope she says 'yes'." She looked up at me with a smile.

"Also because of the kind of woman Alice is, I wanted to find something that matches this necklace, I was thinking maybe black or black and white, I guess whatever matches black and silver." I handed her the pendant to show her what I was talking about.

"Are you going to need shoes that match as well, if I remember her personality correctly everything has to match right down to the color of a ponytail holder." She handed it back to me.

I laughed thinking just how true that statement was.

"That's Alice and I will need the shoes, I want to surprise her and she really won't wear it if her footwear doesn't 'compliment' the dress." I made air quotes because that was her answer as to why everything had to go because it made everything _compliment_ each other.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure everything is up to her specks." She said before stopping amongst the formal wear. "I would say a short dress would be best for Alice's figure and you're right about the color black is best, it's also a slimming color and I remember she wasn't too happy about her added weight which most women aren't even though it's for the baby." She searched the racks. "Maybe something like this, what do you think?" She held up a short black dress with some strips of white and silver glitter on top of those, it was so Alice, and it also went with the necklace and bracelet.

"Tanya, you are amazing I tell you, you really have a gift." I praised her.

"It's just something I do naturally, now I'm going up a size from last time so it fits more comfortably." She searched for the right size and handed it to me. "Now lets get her some shoes, what size does she wear?" She asked as I now followed behind her heading to another part of the store.

"A 6, I think, I've never bought shoes for her either." I confessed.

"Ok, she told me that her feet were starting to swell so she would probably would be comfortable in a 6 ½, some women go up a half or even a whole size during their pregnancy. Oh, mu god, black ankle booties would look so cute on her." The girl in her was coming out and she said it like I was a woman too.

"I have no idea what those are, I'm a guy-a straight guy-shoe are shoes to me." We now stopped in the shoe section and I looked at some of the choices they had while Tanya searched the stacks.

"Here it is, these are what I was talking about, have you ever seen her wear something like this?" She opened the box and pulled out a black shoe that would go up to a woman's ankle-which I'm assuming is where it got its name-it was a shoe I had seen Alice wear before but never in black leading me to believe that she didn't own a pair in that color yet.

"She has some kinda like that not black though at least I don't think she has so many fucking shoes it's unreal, so yeah I guess she likes that kind." I handed her the shoe back, which she put it in the box and handed to me.

"I'm also thinking a headband, she also mentioned she wears her hair up a lot unless she has time to do. I told her that her hair would look beautiful if she let it go natural, she said you tell her that all the time." She looked at me with a smile when we started moving again.

"I do, I wish she would more often." I clarified.

"A headband might persuade her to take it out of the pony." She suggested, stopping yet again.

"I like the way you think Tanya, too bad you work in a maternity store cause I could use you in the future, I guess I'll have to get my sister's help-that is if she'll have time-she's about to have triplets."

"Oh, goodness she will have her hands full. What do you think about this one?" She held up a black headband.

"Like I said you know better then me so just add it to the pile." I was definitely going to have to get a job soon in order to pay off my credit cards that this was all going on.

"So what do you have planned for the proposal?" She asked as she stood in line with me.

"I haven't really gotten that far yet, I've picked out a day and the restaurant but I don't know what to say. Part of me thinks just wing it the other thinks no, have some idea so you don't sound like a moron."

"Can I make a suggestion?" She wondered.

"By all means." I gave her the floor.

"Tell her the truth, tell her how you feel about her, and that you want to spend the rest of your life loving her because if you didn't you wouldn't be proposing to begin with right?" She gave me her two cents.

"Thanks that seems to be most people's answer so I think I might go with that." It was my turn at the cashier and I set the items down on the counter.

"Well good luck with everything Jasper, and just so you know; I think she'll say 'yes' she did nothing but talk about you and the baby when she was here." She said as she started to walk away.

"Thank you for everything Tanya, you really made this whole process much easier for me." I gestured to the pile.

"If you need anything else while she's pregnant you know where to find me." She turned around and disappeared in the racks.

I now had all of my errands done until Thursday morning, unfortunately I didn't see Alice a whole lot that night or the following day, she was coming down to the wire on her debut wedding so I didn't push the issue, it also saved me from dancing around the things I'd done this week. I decided to keep the house news to myself until I had the keys in my hands, call me materialist but it didn't feel like we owned it if we didn't have the keys to get in.

Thursday came swiftly however my choice of attire for the day didn't, I would have asked for Alice's help if she had been there or even knew about my interview but she didn't so I was on my own and I didn't want to admit how much of a girl I was actually being about it.

I finally settled on my favorite pair of jeans and the faded black tee I wore so often that now it had a vintage look to it, from what Edward said Peter was laid back so I wasn't worried about blowing it because of my outfit choice. My choice for tonight was going to be much more formal; something that Alice liked me to wear if not something she bought for me herself.

I was in a particularly good mood and I was hoping it would stay that way throughout the day. I was so happy in fact that I whistled they whole way to the valet and while I waited for the jeep because I was now on my way to claim those materialistic keys to our home.

The drive seemed to take too long, I felt like a kid on his way to Disney world or something. When I got to the house-at last-Emily's car was like always already there, very punctual she was. I admired the house as I walked up to the porch and opened the door.

"Hello?" I called down the hallway.

"In the kitchen Jasper!" I followed her voice to the back of the house where the kitchen was. "Hey, long time no see, is Alice not with you?" She noticed I was alone.

"No, she's busy with work, so it's just me, that's ok right?" I guess I should have asked her on the phone.

"No that's fine, I'm just here to give you your rates and hand over the deed, keys and garage door openers after a few John Hancock's." She assured me.

Emily showed me what our payments would be, the interest, and insurance rates, after which I signed several papers and she handed me the deed and two sets of keys and openers.

"Congratulations, on your new home and family Jasper." She put the keys in her hands.

"You've been extremely helpful Emily; if we ever need a realtor we'll be sure to give you a call." I shook her hand.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to a showing across town, if there is anything you need from me please don't hesitate to call." She grabbed her things in preparation for her departure.

"I will, and thanks again." I told her before she let herself out.

The heat hadn't been on since the weekend so it was ice cold inside, I turned it back on to give it some time to warm the place up before we started moving things in, then locked the front door and headed out to Peters, a place I'd never been in the city.

I found the warehouse that the studio was in easy enough thanks to my GPS otherwise I don't think I would have found it at all, the building had no sign, just a blacked out door that said 'employee's only', since I couldn't find another way in I decided to try the door, it was unlocked.

The inside looked like a regular office straight out of the business district of the city, but instead it was on top of the shipping yards.

"Hi, welcome to Twilight Records, can I help you?" A pleasant woman asked me from behind a receptionists desk when I approached her.

"Yes, I'm looking for Peter I have an interview with him at 1 o'clock, I'm Jasper Hale." I leaned over the ledge and told her quietly though we were the only two in the room.

"Ok, just one second." She held up her manicured finger and picked up the phone. "Hi Charlotte, there is a Jasper Hale here to see Peter where should I send him?" She said into the phone. "Okay, sounds good, thanks Charlotte." She smiled before hanging it back up. "Alright so you're going to go to the elevator to your right here and go to the second floor, when you get there take a left and go all the way down the hall, you'll see the lights on in the booth, Peter's the guy who looks like a wanna-be rock star." I could tell she was mocking him.

"Thank you." I smiled before heading to the elevator to start my journey.

When I got to the second floor it was filled with mostly recording booths and mixing rooms, the lights were off in all of them except for the one at the end of the hall on the left like the woman told me.

"Here, goes nothing Jasper." I said to myself before knocking on the glass door.

There was a man and a woman in the room who I could only guess were Peter-judging by his attire-and Charlotte from the phone, they both turned around to look at me then quickly the man moved to open the door.

"Hi, Jasper right?" He asked.

"That would be me." I said kind of shy.

"I'm Peter and this is Charlotte, come on it, it's not like this is a bank vault or anything." He laughed as he moved aside to let me in.

"Ok." I needed to get out of my shy funk I was in if I wanted to get this job, Peter seemed like an outgoing person leading me to assume he didn't want shy people working for him. I thought this because this one time I was told by Edward-when he first got into it-that you had to be very opinionated to get anywhere in the music business,

"So Edward tells me you're looking for a job in the music business?" He leaned against the mixing boards near Charlotte.

"I wasn't really looking in the _music _business, but I was looking for a fresh start, a shot at a career, not just a dead-end job like I've been working all my life." I started to loosen up some.

"But music's kinda your thing isn't it, I've been told a few times in the past by a couple different people that you're quite skilled when it comes to a guitar." He made it sound like I was Richie Sambora or something.

"I play, if that's what you mean; I'm not what my family makes me out to be that's for sure, and like I told Edward, my first child will be here in about three months so I'm not looking to be the next _American Idol _winner or hit single on the radio. I'm just looking to provide for my family and be there when they need me, I also don't have any experience with working the boards, and wow I am just giving you a whole list of reasons not to hire me aren't I?" I caught myself too late.

"No, no, you're being honest and that alone is a good reason to hire you, that and the fact that Edward wouldn't have sent you my way if he didn't think you could handle it. So you're expecting a baby you said?" I couldn't tell if he just told me I got the job or what.

"Yes, that was also another thing I wanted to talk to you about, since we're going to be first time parents I was wondering about paternity leave even if it's just for a few days, I want to give Alice some time to rest before motherhood and her career gets thrown at her."

_You might as well just save this poor couple the trouble and leave now._

"This is the music business Jasper, time off and hiatuses are a normal thing around here. Charlotte and I aren't like most producers who think a career is the only thing a musician can have, we have no problem with you wanting to spend time with your new baby and wife." Peter clarified.

"Yeah, we are one of the few who haven't sold their souls to the music devil for a shiny new fiddle." Charlotte finally spoke. "The salary is $100,000, we also have health and dental that covers your children too, and my only other question for you is; are you ambitious to learn?"

"Definitely." I smiled now getting that they planned on taking me under their wing. "And Alice isn't my wife-yet-I do plan to ask her though in the near future." I corrected them.

"Ahh, well you'll have to give me details after you do." She looked like she was itching for some gossip. "What do you think Peter, I can tell already that he has potential that I want to utilize what about you?" Her tone was more serious now.

Peter looked me over for a minute rubbing his chin as he thought, the way he looked at me made me feel a little exposed like I was auditioning to be a stripper and at any moment he was going to ask me to turn around slowly and show off my ass.

"I do owe Edward a favor for that time he came and played to piano for Shinedown when they recorded _Call Me _and I think I might as well." He pondered again for a minute. "How does Monday at 10 AM sound?" He asked me.

"Sounds great! You said Edward is the piano in _Call Me _by Shinedown?" He never told any of us that.

"Yeah, the guy was sick and we needed to get the track laid down so he came in last minute, he didn't charge me so like I said I own him a favor, but I think I might be getting the better end of the deal."

"I hope that's true if not for your sake then Edward's, you don't look like the kind of guy who has a mild bad side." I shouldn't have judged him for his attire but he looked pretty bad-ass with his ripped up jeans, raggedy T-shirt, multiple ear piercings, and somewhat excessive jewelry.

"No, he just looks tough; he's really a big softie underneath all that." Charlotte took a stab at him.

"I still know how to put my foot down." He defended himself.

"What about Alistair?" She asked.

"Alistair's different, it's just better to go along with him." He changed the rules.

"Who's Alistair?" I wondered.

"Don't worry you'll meet him, then you'll wish you never had." Charlotte didn't sound like she was kidding.

"He's the best at what he does." Peter reminded her.

"Never said he wasn't, just that he's an asshole plain and simple." They started to get into it.

"Then he's an asshole who's the best at what he does." Peter put an end to the approaching argument. "He's…different, but we'll let you decided what to make of it." Peter turned to acknowledge me again.

"Ok, but still no one has told me who he actually is?" They debated his personality and skills but never gave me a straight answer and I wanted to know who to lookout for.

"Alistair Reed, he's the shit when it comes to these boards and he knows how to make a shitty recording sound perfect so we can avoid another painful session, Alistair will be your teacher so to speak, you'll be spending quite a bit of time with him until you get the hang of it." Peter tried not to sound like being around Alistair was a bad thing but it came out the opposite.

"So what he's really trying to say is; 'sorry and please don't let him drive you to quit." Charlotte added, I already like her, she didn't take shit from Peter and she told it like it was.

"Have you two ever met Edward's brother Emmett? If I can handle him I can handle anything." I dealt with a lot of the gentle beast they called Emmett over the years making me a master in difficult people.

"No, but we've heard the stories, tell us are they all as bad as Edward makes them sound?" Peter laughed.

"They might even be worse, growing up Edward was embarrassed by the shit Em did so he generally tried to stay out of sight whenever it was going down." I owed Edward for getting me the job but I still wasn't going to pass up a chance to make fun of him behind his back.

We spent the next couple hours chit-chatting and getting to know each other and how they operated and they got to know my personality, music likes, and of course I told them all about Ali and the baby. When I finally left at 3 I realized I had forgotten to call Rachael to ask her about Alice leaving early. I called the main line instead of Alice's direct one.

"_Christophe and Company, how may I direct your call?"_ The woman's voice was cheery but almost robotic.

"Rachael Christophe please." I was hoping they wouldn't ask for my name.

"Please hold." She said before Pachelbel's _Canon in D_ filled my ear.

"_This is Rachael Christophe."_ A new voice answered after the music **s**topped.

"Hi Rachael, its Jasper, Alice boyfriend?" I knew she knew who I was it was just a matter on if she was too busy to talk for a minute.

"_Hi, honey, what can I do for ya, are you looking for Alice cause I know she's here?"_ She asked me.

"No, I was actually calling to talk to you, I need to ask you a favor if you don't mind." I knew about Rachael and her ever changing moods so I was keeping my fingers crossed that she was in a good one right now and so far it seemed she was.

"_Oh, anything for my favorite gal's man."_ I could hear her smile through the phone.

"It's actually for both of us-well more for Alice really, I just got a job and closed on our house today so I wanted to surprise Alice with a night out. I know its short notice and she's working on the last minute things but could she possible leave early today?"

"_I don't know you're right about her being busy with things."_ She hoped she was teasing me, she sounded like she was too.

"If it helps I plan on proposing isn't that what you and your company are all about, love and weddings

"_Oh, honey, you should already know I was going to say yes, like you said its what my company is all about. You feel free to come whenever you want." _She laughed at me.

Thank you Rachael, I don't understand how your employees can be so scared of you and say you're heartless, it seems to me-and Alice-that you're the opposite." Alice had told me a few things about Rachael, what people were like at the office and how they viewed her.

"_That's just because I like you and Alice, I don't like too many of my employees but I hire them because they're good at what they do." _She didn't seem to care that she didn't like the people she surrounded herself with, but she had a point it was good business.

"Alright well thank you again, and hopefully I'll be there around 4:30."

"_Ok, good luck tonight."_

"Thanks, I'll talk to you later Rachael."

"_Bye." _She said hanging up.

I was grateful she had been so understanding, this was after all Alice's big debut and being so close to the wedding day I thought it would be much harder even without her reputation.

I got back to the house and quickly showered, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and yes, I even dried my hair so it wasn't extremely out of control like it usual was after getting it wet. I had chosen a pair of black dress pants a button down shirt that I swear was lavender-Alice got it for me last year-and the gray pullover sweater that she said went with it, which was fine with me because there was noway I was wearing that purple shirt without covering most of it up, the collar was bad enough. But since Alice had given it to me I still liked it, and it made her happy when I wore it and that's why it managed to have a permanent spot in my closet.

I tried calling Alice but she didn't answer her phone, after which I went to my next task at hand. I got all of the things I bought her over the week together and retrieved the stuffed Piglet and Pooh and the books I had wrapped in secret when Alice was at work one day and managed to keep from her. I checked my hair and attire one more time before I picked up the bags and headed for the valet, as I d id I couldn't wait until I could walk out the door and have my car waiting for me right there where I left it to begin with, I just had to hold out for another few days..

"You're car will be here in just a few minutes Mr. Hale." The guy said to me when it took longer then usual.

I didn't answer, I just nodded my head so he knew I heard him, then returned to my thoughts. Moments later the jeep came to a stop in front of me.

"Sorry about the delay Mr. Hale, would you like me to put those in the back for you?" The young kid who delivered my vehicle to me asked.

"I got it thanks, but if you could open my back door that would be great." I replied.

"Sure." He said opening it quickly for me.

I put my stuff in the backseat then went for my wallet to give the kid a tip. "Thanks, here you go." I handed him the money and closed the jeep door as he told me 'thank you'.

I had decided to just surprise Alice altogether since she hadn't called me back yet, then my phone started ringing. It was Alice.

"Hello?" I answered.

"_Hey, sorry it took me so long to call you back, I was with Rachael."_ She must have walked in right after I hung up with Rachael.

"It's ok, I figured you were busy seeing as how you are at work." I stated the obvious.

"_So why were you calling me, do you have good news to share with me?" _She in a playful voice.

"I do have news, I don't know if you would call it _'good'_ news." I decided to tease her some.

"_What kind of news would you call it then?" _She took the bait.

"I would call it...how should I put it, I would call it..." I dragged it out for shits and giggles. "I would call it...great news. We got the house with low rates across the board." I finally admitted.

"_We did, oh my god!" _I could hear the excitement in her voice. _"Oh, honey, I'm so glad."_

"I know me too, so I'm on my way to pick you up from work, I have a dinner reservation for us tonight." Now started the begging I knew I would have to do.

"_I really wish I could go sweetie-because god knows I'm starving-I just have way too much to do right now to leave, I actually don't think I will be home until really late or I'm going to have to take some of it home with me if you don't want me here that late." _She sounded like she was really bummed she couldn't go, making my next statement that much better.

"I already spoke to Rachael and she said it's fine, so be ready to go change in 10 minutes. I'm stuck in traffic but I'm almost there." _I wish I was there now._

"_You are a sneaky little hunk of yummy aren't you?" _She sounded kind of naughty if you asked me. _"Wait did you say 'changed'? Changed into what exactly, I'm not role playing in a costume outside the house; I've told you this many times before." _I think she was actually worried it was something out of an adult Halloween party or a strip club.

"It's not like that, just humor me, please? I promise it's nothing embarrassing or slutty, just trust me." This is where the begging came into serious play.

"_Ok, then, I better pack some of my stuff, you are coming up here then I suppose?" _I was shocked she caves so quickly, what with the wedding right around the corner and all I thought I might have to take out of there kicking and screaming.

"I'll see you soon, I love you." I told her glad I didn't have to twist her arm.

"_I love you too." _She said before hanging up.

A few minutes after hanging up the phone the traffic starting moving again and I was able to get there in less then 10 minutes. I parked the jeep and got in the elevator taking it to my desired floor with all the gift bags in my hands. I had left the _Winnie-the-Pooh _book and animals in the car, I planned on giving those to her at dinner along with the family heirloom that was in my pocket.

When the doors opened again I looked up to see Alice heading for the receptionist desk and I quietly walked up behind her.

"Amanda, will you forward any important-like super important-phone calls to my cell, otherwise send them to my voicemail." I heard her ask the woman.

"But try not to send her any calls Amanda." I told her not wanting to interrupt our wedding plans with somebody else's.

"That was a quick 10 minutes." She turned around with a smile.

"That's because I was speeding. I just couldn't wait to see you and get our evening started." "Speaking of evening; here you go." I handed her the bag with the dress in it. "Well open it." She was just staring at it. She blushed a little then pulled out the pink tissue paper

"Jasper it's beautiful." She looked at me. "But I don't have-"

"-The shoes to wear with it?" I handed her the other bag. "I figured you would say that, and don't worry I didn't pick them out the sales lady did that part. Also in the shoe bag you will find some jewelry and a black headband to match." I was kind of proud of myself.

"Thank you babe." She gave me a big hug. "I love them, and I love you."

"I'm glad you like them, and I love you too, now hurry and go get changed, you're evening of dreams awaits milady." When I said-and realized-I had made a spectacle of myself it was too late to take it back. "Will you please just go get dressed and I'll get your bags and coat from your office?" There was no way I was going to sit out in that waiting room after my little outburst of medieval dialect.

"I'll be out in 10 minutes." She turned and headed for the bathroom while I hurried to her office to get away from people and grab her shit.

When I got in there and saw how many bags there were, I wondered how she could carry them all. Picking them up only made me wonder more seeing as how they had to weight somewhere between 10 and 15 pounds together. I lingered for a minute keeping my eye on the bathroom door on the other side of the receptionist and when I felt I had loitered long enough I shut the light off and went back to my original spot.

Alice emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and I was blinded with amazement.

"Wow, the dress was pretty and all but with you in it…wow!" There were no words to describe how beautiful she looked and incredibly sexy.

"Thank you for the bracelet and necklace." Her eyes glistened a little.

"I have to admit I had some help from your mom, I guess the pendant belonged to your great-grandmother Cullen and I had asked Esme if she knew where I could get one for you and she gave me that one." I pointed at her neck. "She helped me pick out the chain, the bracelet, and the charms; I tried to get ones that symbolized you or us." I had hoped I did a good job choosing.

"I thought so, I was looking at them and they all reminded me of something." She held her wrist up and looked at them.

"But I couldn't find a day planner or something to do with wedding planning so I settled for the book." It was the one compromise I had made.

"I knew what it meant, I know you well Jasper Xavier." She used my middle name which was just about always forbidden to be said and most defiantly in public.

"Please don't use my middle name." I was nervous someone might have heard her since they were all looking anyway.

"Oh, come on it's not like any of them know who you are."

"Doesn't matter. Are you ready to go?" I now wanted to get out of there.

"Do you have all my bags?" She started counting to make sure.

"If I don't then I don't know how you get these up here everyday." Something had to be said, being pregnant was not the time to train for a weight lifting competition.

"They're starting to get too heavy; it's going to exceed the weight limit for the following trimester real soon." She admitted, I was glad she was starting to understand the consequences of pushing herself too far;

"All the more reason you should consolidate some how." I suggested while we waited for the elevator.

"Hum, well if you figure out a way to do that let me know because I have yet to." She got a little cocky but it was just to mess with me since she wouldn't look at me.

"I will." I was fairly certain there was a way and I would find it, I knew that and it showed in my tone.

"Ok, you do that then." She continued to stare at the silver elevator doors.

Just like I had expected there was massive 5 o'clock traffic, the restaurant wasn't all that far from Alice work it was the route and bumper-to-bumper traffic that made it take so long and was such a pain in the ass.

"I hope the reservation isn't for like…now." Alice said as she looked at the cars ahead of us with their brake lights on.

"No, we've got until 6; I figured this would happen so I got to your office early." I wasn't telling her everything just yet.

"So where are we going?" She looked over and asked batting her eyes at me.

"It's a secret, but you'll love it I'm sure." I wanted to see the reaction on her face when I didn't have to look at the road and I could tell her why I chose it-other then the proposal.

"Why does it have to be a secret?" I egged me on.

"Because, it just does, I'm not telling you so you might as well give up." Any minute now she was going to start her sad face to get me to tell her.

"Fine I see how it is." She pouted and looked away from me like a child.

"It's not going to work this time Ali, I promise you." I didn't look at her because if I did it would make it that much more harder for me to resist. "I swear to god it won't." I was going to have to look at her to show her I was serious. I glanced at her a few times and I just had to control myself."See what I mean?"

"Wow, you must really want to surprise me."

"Yes, I do, and thank you for not being too difficult."

"You're wel- wait a second _'too difficult'_-I wasn't even being difficult let alone 'too difficult'." She squealed back at me.

"Ok, bad choice of words, but you have to admit it's true to certain degree." I defended myself.

"Yeah, you're right I guess…but I wasn't being difficult today, I went willingly when you said Rachael was cool with it." She reminded me.

"Yes, you did, what I meant to say was I thought I was going to have to do a lot more convincing then just that with the wedding in two weeks. How is everything going with that are you nervous or anything?" I hadn't talked to her much this week and she had been working so hard.

"I'm a little nervous but not as much as I was." She said like she didn't care, which was odd because other then the one inside her this wedding was her baby and since we were in a stand still we had time to catch up.

"Why is that?" I had to ask.

"Because I found out today that Clara Ford wants me if I feel up to taking her." Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Which duh, I am."

"You did, really, oh Alice I'm so happy for you!" I really was, she worked so hard for that account.

"Oh, and one more thing, she plans on paying me _more_ then the 200,000, that was just the price on paper for other planners if she couldn't get me, and she doesn't want to start planning for a few months so I'll get that break you've been on my ass about." When she told me that I think I went into shock, but I liked the idea of her getting time off though it wouldn't be for the duration of the pregnancy.

"Holy shit, which was already a lot of money to start." Shock still clearly on my face when I did the math. "That could pay a lot for the house even after taxes plus what you make salary wise." Thinking about it with our combined income we may actually be millionaires before we die.

"I know right, I couldn't believe it either." She laughed.

We finally got out of the stand still and to the restaurant about 15 minutes early thanks to my careful planning. When I parked the jeep I started to become increasingly nervous.

"Are you ready to go in?" I said after I realized we were sitting there in silence.

"Yes, I am, are you going to come open my door like a southern gentlemen or what?" She teased my heritage.

I got out and hurried around to her side opening the door and giving her my hand. It was starting to sprinkle some so I grabbed the umbrella from the backseat along with the other gifts.

"What's that now?" She asked pointing to the bag as I opened the umbrella.

"Just a few things I saw that I thought you might like." I brushed it off not wanting to give away any details including the baby.

"You are just full of surprises today aren't you?" She smiled nervously at me for some reason, I guess it was possible she knew about the restaurant's reputation.

"Have you ever heard of this place before?" I would have said the name if I knew how to pronounce it.

"No, I haven't it looks really fancy though." She said as we approached the doors.

"It had great reviews and I remembered we went to an Italian restaurant for our first real date, you remember that?"

"I do." She said with a smile. "It was Olive Garden."

"Yeah, well I thought about it and I had a hankering for Italian looking for places online." I lied some more for now, I was going to tell her why I really picked it after she said 'yes'.

"You sound like Emmett." She laughed.

"Hi, um we have a reservation for 2 Hale." I told the hostess.

"Ok, right this way." She said turning to make sure we were following. "Is this table ok?" She stopped in front of a table for two perfect for putting a ring on a finger if you ask me.

"Yes, thank you." I said.

"Your server will be right with you, enjoy your dinner." She smiled before leaving the menus and heading back to her stand.

I helped Alice off with her coat and pulled her chair out for her also pushing back in and stole a cheek kiss from her before I took my own seat.

"You're acting kind of strange, what's going on?" She had a confused look on her face.

"What are you talking about, I'm fine, can't a guy take the love of his life out for dinner at a five star restaurant?" I tried to throw her off my scent.

"Usually not unless he did something wrong first. Did you do something wrong Jasper?" Her expression changed from confused to possible anger.

"No, I didn't do anything wrong, I just thought we might like to celebrate closing on the house-which by the way here is your key madame and your garage door opener." I dug into my pocket for one of the two sets Emily gave me at the house earlier. "And-there's one more thing-and we are celebrating my new job." I said proudly.

"You got a job?" She had a smile as wide as Texas on her face. "Oh, my god, where, when do you start?" She gave me the third degree, but in a nice way.

"Edward knows a guy here who owns and operates a music studio, it's Washington's main music hub, a lot of popular band record there, anyways I'll be working the music board and fixing the vocals so they sound perfect, stuff like that I think. The best part is it's a $100,000 a year job, and they are flexible with hours, I start Monday morning." My smile I'm sure matched hers. "It's called Twilight Records, funny name if you ask me."

"Oh, my god, that's a lot of income." She stated. "Why did you wait until now to tell me?" Her smile turned into a frown.

"Like I said I wanted to surprise you, when Edward told me about the job, I asked him not to tell you, I wanted to wait until I got it and I do now so; surprise!" I still wasn't ready for her to know the big reason.

"Ok, that's a good reason to celebrate and it is a very good surprise." She said before the waiter came up to the table.

"Hello, folks my name is Benjamin I'll be your server this evening, can I start you too off with a glass or bottle of wine?" He asked.

"Oh, um no thanks, none for me, I'm pregnant." She pointed to her belly.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't even tell, that dress looks fabulous by the way." He confirmed his sexuality with that statement and bent his wrist like a woman.

"Thank you, actually he picked it out." Alice gave me the credit.

"Really, and he's straight, oh honey that can't be possible." He turned to look at me.

"Straight as can be plus I had help...from a woman...who worked in the store...and who knew what she liked." I gave him different reasons why I did such a good job.

"Well too bad you are, or I'd ask you out." He and Alice both laughed. "So what would you like to drink?" He went back to his notepad.

"I'll have a Sprite with real cherry juice in it please." Alice told him, he then turned to me for my selection.

"That sounds good actually, I'll have the same." I said.

:Ok, I'll be right back with those." He put his notepad back in his apron, gave us a smile, then went to fetch our drink order.

"Ok, we are definitely ordering an appetizer because I am starving." Alice said being very over dramatic.

Halfway through the meal I decided to give Ali the other presents, followed by my romantic proposal.

"Alright now it;s time for the other surprises." I wiped my mouth and hands before grabbing the bag on the floor next to me and put them between our plates on the table first moving the candle centerpiece out of the way. "Now before you open them, I just want you to know, I had the best intentions when I bought and I hope you won't take it the wrong way and be upset by it." I gave her my disclaimer on the parenting book.

"What am I going to find in here Jasper?" She now didn't look like she wanted to open them and she loved presents.

"Just open them, it's nothing bad." I encouraged her before a loud thunder clap filled my ears, I looked out the large windows at the street and saw that it now started pouring and obviously a storm had rolled in.

She pulled the tissue paper out and grabbed the Pooh and Piglet first since I put the books on the bottom. "Oh, these are so cute, we'll have to put these in the crib." She squeezed them both close to her chest like a child.

"Ok, now the top one." I told her pointing to the bag again. She unwrapped it and discovered the _Winnie-the-Pooh _book. "My mom use to read that book to me and Rose when we were really young, before her career took off, it's one of the best memories I have of her. I don't know, I guess I thought maybe we or I might like to read it to the baby too."

"I love _Winnie-the-Pooh_, it such a good book. This is what you thought I'd be made about?" She held two of the items up.

"No, it's the last one." I stuck my chin up toward the bag.

She unwrapped it and read the cover. "_The Working Mom: How to Balance a Career and Motherhood_, oh my god!"

_Shit, I'm done for, She's gonna storm off and the mood will be ruined, and we'll fight. Fuck! I should have left that one at home, better yet I never should have bought it._

"Alice I-"

"This is exactly what I need." She was really happy.

"It is?" I thought I was getting yelled at.

"Yes, I've been stressing myself out wondering how I was going to do it, but know I have a step-by-step guide." She sounded like she hit the jackpot on the lottery. "So this is what you thought I would be mad about," She pondered for a moment. "Yeah, I can see how you might think that." She nodded her head.

"Also there's one more thing." I said it quieter, and she looked in the bag thinking she missed something. "No, it's not in there, it's-. I love you so much Alice that when I'm not with you it hurts just to breathe. I don't want to ever lose you again, I can't lose you again. I'm so in love with you that if anything would ever happen I don't know how I could ever be whole, you make me whole Alice, you and our child, and I'm a complete idiot for not doing this years ago when it's what I've always wanted too even if I didn't know it until recently." I made my speech telling her everything I felt about her.

I took the ring out of my pocket, got down on one knee and asked her my very important question. "Alice, will you marry me?" I smiled and presented the ring to her. Tears began to well up in her eyes when she looked up at me from the jewel.

"No, I'm sorry, I can't" She quickly got up from the table and ran outside into the pouring rain.


	18. Lost Without You

I swear that I can go on forever again

Please let me know that my one bad day will end

I will go down as your lover your friend

Give me your lips and with one kiss we'll begin

_-Lost Without You- by Blink-182_

Jasper POV

"_Alice, will you marry me?"_

"_No, I'm sorry, I can't"_

I got up and ran after her, leaving everything behind at the table, including the ring.

"Alice!" I was soaked within seconds just like she was when I went outside; luckily she stopped when I called her name. "I thought this is what you wanted, and what now you're just running again…why?" I couldn't understand it as the freezing rain beat down on my face.

She didn't say anything, she didn't move, she just stood there.

"Because…" She turned around slowly to face me. "It's not right. Jasper, you should be mad at me. I left with your unborn child without a word, you should be livid, why…why aren't you? Why do you still love me after everything I put you through, why are you pretending nothing happened?" She now started to cry openly. "Why!" She cried louder when I didn't answer.

Before I had a chance to give her my answer my phone started ringing in my pocket, I pulled it out and saw it was Emmett, I sent it to voicemail and put it back but he called again, irritated I took it back out and answered it this time.

"I'm a little busy right now Emmett, I'll have to call you back." I spit into the mouth piece.

"_Jazz, Rosalie's in the hospital, the babies-." _He could barely choke out.

"What?" I was caught off guard, everything had been going fine.

"_They might have to deliver the babies early, or we risk losing them all." _He spoke much more clearly.

"We're on our way." I hug up the phone and stomped over to grab Alice's hand pulling her back towards the restaurant.

"What's going on?" She wondered.

"We don't have time to deal with our problems right now, we need to go deal with Rosalie's and I'll die before I let you run again when she needs you most." I sounded like a complete asshole and I knew it but Rose needed Alice now, and I wasn't losing my child again either.

I grabbed the ring-which was still there-dropped $200 on the table, got Alice's coat on her-god knows she doesn't need pneumonia-grabbed her hand again and headed for the car.

When we got in I cranked the heat up and pointed all the blowers at her to try to warm her back up since she was shivering.

"Here, cover up with this." I wasn't really being nice and I made it clear in my tone when I handed her a blanket from the backseat.

"Thanks." She replied quietly but I didn't respond.

The entire 2 hour drive to Port Angeles we didn't say a word to each other, I couldn't wrap my mind around what went so horribly wrong and how I could have missed it so blindly.

Rosalie's plan was to give birth at Olympic Memorial Hospital since they had the best birthing center in Port Angeles and it was the closest to there house, leading me to assume that was where they took her tonight.

When we got to the hospital we parked the car and got in the elevator to go to the third floor.

"Jazz I-" She started to say.

"Don't. Just don't. I have to worry about Rosalie right now. So whatever you're going to try to say to make feel better can wait." I continued to speak to her in such a way that if I saw another guy doing it I would have punched his face in for talking to a woman that way. But I couldn't help it; she might as well have squashed my heart like a bug under her shoe.

When the doors opened it didn't take long to see Edward, Bella and Esme sitting in the waiting area with stressed looks upon their faces.

"Mom." Alice left my side running into Esme's arms.

"Sweetie your soaked, so are you Jasper, what were you two playing in the rain?" She looked at me still holding Alice.

"No, it was just a long walk to the car, how's Rose doing?" I lied not caring about what was happening between me and Alice at this moment.

"Her contractions are steady so they're giving her a bit of time to try to have them naturally, if nothing happens they'll take her in for a C-section." She told us as I sat down next to Edward, and Alice sat with Esme on the other side of Bella.

"Can't they give her drugs to stop the contractions?" I knew they had ways to stop her labor.

"Her water broke at the house, there's no going back now." Bella added.

Just then Carlisle came out in his blue scrubs with matching booties and scrub cap.

"How's it going?" Esme asked her husband, but the look on his face already told the story.

"It's not going as well as we'd like…it appears her uterus is collapsing around the babies causing them distress, we're prepping her for the C-section right now." It seemed like there was still more, which there was. "The problems we face now are getting them all out before they suffocate, regardless after we deliver them we may have to remove it to prevent infection and internal bleeding." He sounded more like a doctor and less like a grandfather whose grandchildren's lives were in jeopardy. "She'd like to see you Alice before she goes in, but you need to be quick about it, time is becoming very precious." He warned her.

Alice quickly got up and started to leave with her dad.

"Carlisle?" I stopped him. "Tell Rose I love her, and I'm here for her if she needs anything...no matter what." I couldn't help but look at Alice as I said it, causing her to quickly look away from my gaze.

"I will." He led Alice back around the corner and out of our eye line.

"So, where were you two at that made you get all dressed up?" Edward asked raising his eyebrows.

"Dinner. I just got a job and we closed on the house this morning." It wasn't a complete lie.

"See, I said you would, Peter's a cool guy isn't he?" Edward smiled at my success.

"Wait, you got him a job with Peter, why didn't you tell me that, I just talked to Charlotte yesterday and she didn't mention it?" Bella looked at Edward.

"Jazz told me not to." He pinned it all on me.

"Only because I didn't want to get my hopes up, I mean I have no experience in the music business other then how to play a guitar." I continued to leave out details.

"I'm sure you will do fine sweetie." Esme tried to reassure me.

I smiled at her but otherwise remained unresponsive. A few minutes later Alice reappeared with fresh tears in her eyes looking slightly shell-shocked.

"Is everything okay honey?" Esme got up looking worried.

"She…she started bleeding, and the doctors were all yelling, dad pushed me out of the way and they rushed her out of the room before I could say anything else." She looked like she wanted to cry again and as much as I knew that I should have gotten up to hold her I remained in my seat, instead Bella did it for me.

I continued to kick myself for how I was treating Alice, though my actions were so subtle and everyone's minds fixed on Rose and the babies that no one but me and Alice could see the brewing war.

"Think of it this way; almost all triplets spend time in the NICU to begin with, she made it to 27 weeks, they've been giving her steroids to speed up the development of their lungs, they knew this would happen, she's in the best of hands." Bella reassured Alice, which I was glad because it kind of made me feel better too, but I don't think they planned on the bleeding.

About a half hour later I couldn't take just sitting around in silence any longer.

"Does anyone know if Em, called our parents?" _Right now I'd take my panicking mother over this torture._

"I don't know he was a wreck when I talked to him." Edward said.

"Us too." Esme added.

"I think I'm gonna go call them, just in case, so they know the first three of their grandchildren will be born tonight." I got up from my chair.

"Ok, one of us will come find you if anything changes." Esme was being so kind and the only thing I felt was pissed.

I retrieved my phone and I found myself calling my semi-estranged parents again for the second time this month already.

"_Hello?" _My mother asked with sleep heavy in her voice, it was then that I realized it was almost midnight in Houston.

"Hey mama sorry to call so late, did I wake you up?" I kind of felt bad.

"_Jasper? No, its fine is everything alright?" _She sounded worried.

"I think so, um, Rosalie was rushed to the hospital earlier tonight her water broke at the house, they're doing an emergency c-section right now. So I just wanted to call and tell you that and congratulations, you and dad are going to be grandparents tonight." I didn't want them to think the worst, if they didn't have to, it was probably more for my benefit then theirs seeing as how I didn't want them jumping on a plane to come up here, especially with what was going on with me and Alice.

"_But the babies will be alright?" _She was still greatly concerned.

"It sounds like Carlisle and the other doctors were prepared for her to go into preterm labor so I think th-" I was cut off by someone running toward me out the corner of my eye, I turned to look and saw it was Edward.

"They're here, they're all here, one boy and two girls, but they're being air-lifted to Seattle Children's Hospital as soon as the helicopter gets here." Edward told me when he came to a stop.

"Um, mama, they're here, two girls and a boy, I'll call you when I find out more ok, love you." I shut my phone before she had a chance to say anything. "Why are they being sent there, I thought they could handle it here?" Rosalie had chosen this hospital because they said they could.

"Yeah, that was when she was doing well and they thought the babies would just have to spend time in neo-natal like all other sets of three of more do but now they need a NICU which has a much wider variety of services." He informed me as we walked back to the group.

"Why do they need that now?" The letters ICU together never meant a good thing.

"Baby 2's kidneys are still a little underdeveloped so they're going to put her on dialysis, they didn't know that before because they could never get a good look at her-I mean they couldn't even tell she was a girl-all three of them are still pretty small and they'll need more care, but I think it sounds like they are doing somewhat ok." Edward's face held some worry.

"How's Rose doing?" He hadn't mentioned her yet.

"They gave her a couple blood transfusions, she became so distraught that they had to sedated her, they've already started the surgery to try and fix the bleed and everything I guess the triplets really did a number on it, they really must be Emmett's kids." He lightened our mood by cracking a joke.

"Speaking of Emmett how is the new father holding up?" I asked as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"I holding up, but then again I'm not the one on an operating table right now." I looked up and saw Emmett standing there in his blue scrubs.

"Hey, congratulations...daddy." I smiled as I hugged my brother. "She's got the best working on her, plus you know it would take a nuclear disaster to stop her from being able to hold those babies for the first time" I told him to try and cheer him up and for the first time ever, it didn't work. There was no light in his eyes and his lips held no smile, he looked like a man who was completely lost.

"Yeah, but I'm still worried about everything." His voice tired and wore from stress.

"So have you given them all names, I've only heard them be referred to as numbers." I tried to take his mind off the negative, I already knew about Xavier but I didn't want everyone else to think there was a reason I did.

"Right, yeah, Baby 1 is now Xavier Jackson he's weighing in at 3 pounds 8 ounces he was born at 10:53PM, Baby 2 is Natalie Grace after grandma Grace she's only 2 pounds 6 ounces she came out at 10:54, and Baby 3 is Haleigh Elizabeth-to keep the Hale name-she weighs 3 pounds 2 ounces and was out at 10:56." He would have sounded happier if there was so much gloom that overshadowed it. "You should have been there to see Rose, she tried so hard to get them out that she eventually became too exhausted to push anymore then she started bleeding...heavily." He held back tears as he now spoke through a tight jaw to avoid letting us hear his voice break. "And before I knew it they were all crying and being taken away, that's when Rose lost it, they had to knock her out to stop her from thrashing around wanting to see the babies. I don't know how she'll react when she finds out they're going to Seattle." He ran his hand over his close cut hair and let out a large sigh.

"Our house is big enough for you guys too, if you ever want to stay with us so you can be closer to the babies that's fine." Alice said to her brother out of nowhere.

_Did she just forget what happened earlier this evening; did she forget she rejected my proposal...for marriage and that we were fighting?_

"Thanks Ali, Rose will appreciate it I'm sure, this whole pregnancy she's been talking about the connection she had with them from the inside, I don't think she's going to adjust well to it just being her again."

"I can understand that." She smiled.

_Now I get it, it's a maternal bonding thing with the baby as it grows inside her. Still our problems don't need to be aired out in front of Em and Rosalie._

"Alice, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was the first time I had spoken to her since the elevator. She had a surprised look on her face which she quickly wiped off and started walking toward me; I turned around and walked away until I was sure we'd be out of earshot.

"What is it?" She asked me quietly.

"What are you doing?" I said putting my hands on my hips. "Have you forgotten what happened before all this?" I was sure she had, it had to be the only explanation.

"No, I haven't. We both know I can't take back what I said, if you were in my shoes you would understand better, but you're not," Tears slowly began falling from her moist eyes. "I love you Jasper, I really do, but you asking me to marry you is a mistake and it's one I can't just let you make."

"Are you telling me that all the hell you put me through before was just so you could make it worse later by rejecting me?"

"That's not it-"

"Then what is it?" I cut her off.

"I left because I didn't want you to feel trapped in a failing relationship over a baby...then I went against my better judgment when you showed up last month and I thought it could work, but now...now you're trying to trap _yourself_ forever, and I don't think you see that. Why do you feel the need to jump back into this basically blind-folded?" She sounded like she really wanted the answers.

"I never felt trapped to begin with."

"Yes you did." She insisted. "You may not see it that way because you weren't on the outside, but it's no secret that you weren't happy Jazz. How does a baby change all that in an instant?"

She did have a point...as much as I hated to admit it she did, and she was right about a few other things too, I just never saw them that way…'til now.

"So what does this mean, what do you do now?" I sure as hell didn't have the answers.

"I don't know what I do know is I still love you."

"And I still love you, I always will one way or another, you're the mother of my child."

"What if that's what I become; just the mother of your child, can you honestly handle that?"

"Alice, Jasper!" Edward called over, I turned to see Carlisle was back and instead of answering Alice's earlier question I turn and went over to rejoin our group.

"Carlisle how's Rose, are the babies alright?" I had tons I wanted to ask.

"Unfortunately we couldn't find the bleed and ultimately we ended up having to remove her uterus, they're closing her up now then they'll move her to recovery. As for the triplets they are on their way to Seattle as we speak and the last update I got they were all stable. There's also one more thing I want to show everyone." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Being a doctor has its perks and an all access passes to the neo-natal is one of them." He opened the application on his phone and showed everyone about 15 different photos he had taken of the triplets, including one on the helicopter pad with them being put inside in their incubators and the transport doctor and nurses waving. "I thought if they were going to take their first helicopter ride without any of us there and when they're less then a few hours old we should at least have a few pictures to remember it by."

"Oh, they are so beautiful." Esme along with the rest of us were in awe.

"Congratulations man, you did well, like Esme said they are positively beautiful." I patted Em's shoulder, I looked back at the pictures and noticed they looked like dolls, perfect dolls all wrapped up.

"Thanks they really are aren't they?"

"Of course I'm sure it all came from Rose otherwise they'd look like ugly monkeys." He punched me in the arm while I teased him.

"Yeah, well let's all hope your baby's come from Alice or it will look like a circus freak." He shot back.

"Hey, don't be calling my child a circus freak." Alice threw in.

"All three of you this is a hospital where sick people and women having babies come, so be on your best behaviors or I'll put you in timeout." Esme spoke to us as if we were children which we were acting like anyways.

"Sorry mom." Me, Alice, and Emmett all said in unison.

"You may be adults now but I'm your mother you're not too old for me to discipline, that includes you Jasper." I already knew I was included but it was nice to hear it.

"Yes, ma'am." I replied.

"Dad when can I see Rosalie, has anyone told her about the babies going to Seattle yet?" Emmett asked Carlisle.

"I haven't yet I was going to see if you wanted to tell her, and I can let two of you go in a few minutes so who else wants to go?"

"Jazz, honey, I think it should be you." Esme squeezed my arm. "You haven't had a chance to see or talk to her yet, so you, Emmett, and Carlisle give her our best."

I wasn't going to argue, I did want to see my sister, I wanted to know that she was alright, the only thing I didn't want was to be there when they told her where her children were unless the had a sedative on hand and ready to go.

Carlisle led Emmett and me through several doors that required a key card until we got to one that said 'Recovery' above it.

"I'm going to stop at the nurse's station for a minute find out how she's been doing; you two can go on ahead she's in room 5 right there." Carlisle told us before going toward the desk on the right.

Me and Em continued on our way toward Rosalie's room then just outside the door Emmett stuck his hand out in front of me making me stop in my tracks.

"Don't say anything to Rose about the babies just yet; I want Carlisle to do it she won't get mad at-well _too_ mad at him, if you or I do it she'll rip into us."

"On the plus side she's just gone through labor, a c-section and a hysterectomy all in one night so she'll probably be too tired to yell and unable to get up to do any physical harm, oh and you might want to call my parents at sometime." I was making fun of him but it flew over his head.

"I will I promise, and I think I would rather take the beating then the very loud, very angry profanity-filled third degree, not to mention her evil eye."

"Emmett if I've told you once, I've told you a million times; you knew who you were marrying." I chuckled as I opened the sliding glass door to Rose's dark room. She didn't appear to be awake but it was hard to tell with the blackness incapacitating me. Em went to one side of the bed and I the other.

"Rose, sweetheart, it's me Emmett, and Jasper's here too." Em said quietly nicely shaking Rose's shoulder gently. I'd never heard him talk in such a soft sweet voice before; it was kinda weird coming from such a big guy.

"Em?" She said all groggy.

"Yeah, babe it's me. How are you feeling?" He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Like someone just cut me open and pulled three tiny humans from my body." She laughed. "Ow, agh, no more laughing for a while, it hurts." Her face clearly showing her pain. "Where's the babies, when can I go see them?" She asked the inevitable questions.

"Um, hold on I'll go get Carlisle and he'll fill you in on what's happening, why don't you talk to Jazz until I get back." I couldn't believe he was basically throwing me to the wolf that was Rosalie.

"Hey mom." I told her after Emmett left the room and she turned her attention to me for the first time. "Congratulations, you're officially a mother now, no more just talking about being one." I didn't know what else to say and I was afraid that even in her semi-consciousness she might see that I was hiding something and hurt me if Em wasn't back quick enough, I'm sure it didn't help I brought up motherhood.

"I know, I can't wait to actually start being one, it still doesn't feel like I am since I've never seem them. Do you know anything about them that Em isn't telling me?" Her voice weak.

"I don't know much, just their names, weights, and time of birth down to the minute." I lied still not wanting to be there when Em or Carlisle told her. Luckily they had returned before she had a chance to say anything else.

"Hi Rosalie, how's your pain?" Carlisle asked still in doctor mode.

"Carlisle, where are my children?" She asked instead.

"Um...well Rosalie there ended up being a change in plans." He started.

"What does that mean?" Even all doped up she was still angry like we all expected.

"Port Angeles doesn't have the means needed for them, they were emergency airlifted to Seattle Children's Hospital, they have the best NICU in the state, and the triplets will receive the best care possible." He tried to sugar coat it for her.

"My babies are in Seattle by themselves?" She didn't seem to think it was true.

"Yes, they are." He admitted.

"Carlisle, I haven't even seen them yet and now they are two hours away making it impossible for me to. When can I leave here?" She was much more alert now for just getting out of surgery.

"Not for a couple of days, there's something else you don't know yet." He was reluctant to continue.

"Could there be anything worse?" Rose was still being a little mean.

"After we delivered the triplets we tried to fix a tear in your uterus that was causing the bleeding. Unfortunately the damage from the babies was too severe and we had to perform a complete hysterectomy, I'm so sorry Rose."

She laid there with her mouth open unable to speak for the first time in her life I was sure.

"So, my babies are in Seattle, and my chances of ever conceiving again are permanently gone?" Tears were filling her eyes.

"It will be ok Rose, we have Xavier, Natalie, and Haleigh, and you know what Dr. Perry told us in the beginning; the fact that we conceived them was a miracle, and that's what they will be; our miracle children." Emmett tried to show her the bright side of things but she started to cry openly. "I have some good news that might cheer you up a little; Alice and Jasper said we can stay at their house anytime we want so we can be near them. I'll tell you what, as soon as you get out of here we will go get a few things and stay in a hotel until they get moved into the house."

"You guys closed on the house?" She turned to ask me as she tried to stop crying.

"This morning, I also got a job working in a professional music studio." I nodded my head and tried to think of other happy things I could tell her and my new job was the best I could come up with. "And you're welcome anytime you want." I took her free hand in mine, though for some reason she started sobbing again, but it was then that I remembered when we were little Rose had always said she wanted a lot of brothers and sisters then it was she wanted a big family herself. That wasn't something she had talked about in years so I thought she had changed her mind, it was clear to me now that she hadn't an she was crying now because that dream was now gone.

"What's wrong Rosie?" Emmett wondered wiping tears from her stained cheeks.

_Obviously she never shared that dream with Emmett._

"I want to see my babies." She said between sobs, it was hard to understand her because her voice was so raspy.

"I thought you might say that." Carlisle said taking his phone out of his lab coat. "There are several photos on here of all three, even a few on the helipad." He smiled handing it to her, she flipped through them.

"If you ask me I think you did a bang up job Rose, they're beautiful." I told her, happy to see the first smile to cross her face since we came in.

"They really are." She said.

After we got the phone call saying the triplets made it to Seattle safely we all said our goodbyes and once again I got into my car with Alice, not really wanting to talk to her anymore they before. When we got back to the hotel I stopped the car before we got to the valet booth to avoid the guy standing there.

"So, um…I'm gonna go stay in the house for tonight, I'll go back to Port Angeles tomorrow." I didn't care that the house was empty because there was no way I was going to be able to stay in that room tonight even on the couch.

"You're gonna drive 2 hours to work everyday?" She said quietly.

"I guess so. I'll get my stuff out of storage and leave all the keys at the front desk tomorrow." I continued to be emotionless.

Without another word Alice got out of the jeep and went in the hotel, I pulled out and took one of my last few drives to the house we had bought together. As soon as I got inside and shut the door I fell to my knees and just cried. Everything I had hoped for, everything that we had planned together was shattered, I now had to figure out how to just be the father of Alice's child, and even though I told Emmett I would be ok if it ever happened, I really wasn't...but I didn't have a choice anymore, and I was going to be lose without her.


	19. Out From Under

I don't want to dream about

All the things that never were

And maybe I can live without

When I'm out from under

I don't want to feel the pain

What good would it do me now?

_Out From Under- Britney Spears_

Alice POV

I didn't expect Jasper to understand my reasons for saying no, it just didn't feel right letting him do that without addressing the problems we had in the past. He _should _have cared that I left him while pregnant, he _should _be mad that I didn't give him an explanation after 10 years together and even longer knowing each other...he _should _have never wanted to see me again. After I got up to the room I cried on the bed for hours before finally falling asleep...it didn't last long, I woke up when I reached out for him on his side...but there was nothing there, I cried for another three hours until my diaphragm hurt so bad that I had to force myself to stop.

I wanted to marry Jasper, I truly did, but he wasn't dealing with things he was only suppressing them. According to everyone-and Jasper himself-there was rarely a time when he was sober in the months that I was gone and he had become extremely depressed. The complete 180 he did-which I was happy for-wasn't him getting better...it was him trying to just forget it ever happened and I was sure it was the baby that made him do it. It was what I was trying to tell him at the hospital; I still wanted to be with him but I didn't want us to get married so quickly after all that because of a baby, everything was already moving so fast. We had just gotten back together and we had agreed in the beginning that we would work on our problems, flying into marriage wasn't working on them, and I only wanted us to work on them...now I was alone and 13 weeks away from my due date.

I couldn't fall back asleep after my last crying spell so I took a shower and was at work by 6AM, my eye sockets looked more like bean bags and I was sure someone was going to say something or a rumor of some kind was going to be started. I didn't care anymore, if my drama and heartache filled life was the most interesting thing to them then their lives were less exciting then that of a snail and I felt sorry for them.

Once people started drifting in I was determined to stay in my office for as long as possible, I wanted to avoid all the questions that would be asked about Jasper's little stunt yesterday afternoon. I didn't want to talk about him or what happened mainly because I was afraid I would break down into tears at the mention of his name of course the chances of that happening were about the same as me giving birth to an alien.

_Maybe I should have stayed home today._

I managed to stay in my office with the door and blinds closed until about 10 when I finally _had_ to go out to get the 'Big Folder' which had everything in it having to deal with the Christensen's wedding, every account had their own. When I finally opened my door the room that had been so quiet and peaceful was now loud and hectic with people running everywhere.

"Alice, I didn't think you were here yet, are you hiding in your office?" Becky found me right away since she was walking by my door, and I knew I was busted.

"Yes, I was." I looked down at my feet.

"Oh, Alice, what did you do to that poor boy now?" She dropped her arms to her side and I could see she already knew I screwed up again.

"Do me a favor; go get the Christensen's Big Folder then meet me in my office and I'll tell you everything." I trusted Becky to keep this to herself otherwise I would have lied, and since she wanted to know so badly she went to get the Folder without another word. I on the other hand-like the sheep I was-went back into my hideout and shut the door again.

Becky returned within minutes Folder in hand and sat in one of the chairs opposite of me and waited for me to start, she looked like a little kid about to be told a story they've been begging to hear for years.

"Now, you have to swear to not tell _anybody_, the only other person I plan on telling in this office is Rachael. Obviously there will be rumors that start floating around after-" I almost couldn't say his name. "After Jasper's scene, just don't feed their addictions, you promise to do all that?" I already knew her answer.

"I promise, I swear, I sell my soul to the devil, just tell me." Her patience's were wearing thin.

"He proposed last night." I confessed and not in the way most women do.

"I knew it, with the dress and the jewelry; I knew he had to be up to something." A smile lit up her face for about a second. "Wait a minute, if he proposed last night then why do you look like you spent all night crying?"

"That's because I _did_ spend all night crying...I said 'no', he's moving back to Port Angeles today, and on top of all that his sister went into preterm labor last night. She had them via c-section after which they had to do a complete hysterectomy on her and airlifted the triplets to Seattle Children's Hospital. After I get moved into the house she and my brother will be staying with me often so they can see the babies, the only problem is...no one knows me and Jasper were even fighting, ahggg." I groaned crossing my arms on my desk and let my head fall on top of them. "I've ruined everything Becky, he won't even talk to me, and when he does it's never nice, not that I should really expect to be talked to like a queen with all I've put him through. He also just got a job here in the city for Twilight Records but he insists on driving back and forth from PA everyday, that right there tells you just how much he hates me."

"Ok, I don't think Jasper 'hates' you, is he mad, oh fuck yeah, but you're the mother of his child and you're the love of his life. It's not going to keep him away for long."

"It was different this time Becky. I mean the way he talked to me...he's from the South, he was raised to treat woman with respect-_always_-this person...this person was the farthest thing from respectful…it wasn't Jazz." I was trying so hard not to cry. "It's over, I blew it for good this time, I even asked him if he'd be alright just being the mother of my child." I covered my face with my hands and could no longer stop the coming tears.

"What did he say to that?" She wondered.

"He never answered me-in words; he sure as hell made it known in his actions though." She wasn't getting it.

"Do you really think that's what he wants; I mean if he was proposing then he obviously loves you, would you think him capable to flip his emotions like a coin?"

I thought about what Becky was saying and how it compared to his personality. "Oh, my god, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?" I asked her wide-eyed.

"You're asking the wrong person, I've only seen him a few times, but if we are judging by looks alone I would say you just ripped up a million dollar winning lotto ticket...but that's just me, you're the one who has to look beneath the surface. Under those intense eyes, honey blonde hair, and perfect muscle definition." She had started to drift off into space.

"Ok, I think I get it." I didn't need her adding to the list of great things about Jasper by throwing his underwear model looks in the mix.

"Well, if you need to talk about anything else you know where to find me, or if you decide you don't want to come out then give me a call and I'll return to this cave of yours." She told me getting up from her chair. "And, I promise to keep it to myself, cross my heart, oh, and congratulations on being an aunt again too." She added as she reached the door.

"Thanks Becks." I smiled trying not to show just how devastated I was now.

Becky wasn't gone more then a minute when my office phone started ringing.

_Great just what I need, to talk to more people._

"Christophe and Company, this is Alice." I gave my generic response when I picked it up.

"_Hi, Ali." _I heard Rosalie's exhausted voice on the phone.

"Hey, mommy, sorry I didn't get a chance to see you last night when you were in recovery. They don't let too many people in there." I used the most reasonable excuse there was, and hospitals were full of them.

"_Don't worry about it, I looked horrible anyway I'm sure, that's not what I was calling about though." _She informed me.

"What's up?" I tried to sound interested but my mind was wondering elsewhere.

"_I got a phone call from Jazz about 20 minutes ago saying he'd be in the loft and to tell Emmett not to beat him up thinking he's a robber, am I missing something because he wouldn't tell me?" _My mind was no longer occupied when she mentioned Jasper.

"You're missing a lot actually." I told her, I wasn't too happy that Jasper didn't tell her when he talked to her, but then again _I_ was the reason he was going back.

"_What do you mean?" _Judging from the sound of her voice she had an idea.

I knew this couldn't stay a secret forever and I was sure Rose would be one of the worst to tell so why not do it now, over the phone...out of hitting range. "Uh..." I didn't know where to start. "Before Em call us last night...Jazz had-he had umm...just finished proposing."

"_Really!" _She was clearly happy and I was going to have to burst her bubble. _"That's a good thing then, so why does he sound so depressed, unless you-"_ She stopped herself short catching on now. _"Alice you didn't." _She said hoping it wasn't true I'm sure. _"I can't believe this, does anyone else know?" _I hadn't even given her an answer but apparently silence made me just as guilty as confessing-even thought I was insanely guilty to put it modestly.

"I-I couldn't do it Rose, I didn't want him to ask just because I'm pregnant." I defended myself poorly.

"_Do you even remember what happened last time?" _I could hear the panic in her voice worry about her brother. If she hadn't had such a raspy voice the whole office would have heard her.

"Its not going to be like that, I'm not running this time, I wouldn't keep Jasper away from his child."

"_You've done it before." _She said harshly.

"Yes, but he didn't even know there was a baby. I can't take back what I've done in the past Rosalie, but I can learn from my mistakes, and if there's anything I've learned its running is never the answer in these situations."

"_Why did you take him back if you didn't want the relationship to go anywhere?" _She was angry and I understood why...it didn't mean I liked it.

"I didn't say that, I love Jasper, I just didn't think we should be getting married that way and without addressing the problems we had before Seattle. We both had a foot out the door already, we were in a shitty place, and a baby doesn't make all that go away." I was trying to keep my calm but that wasn't always easy with Rosalie. "Rose?" I said since she hadn't said anything else.

"_I'm here." _She didn't sound as pissed. _"I get what you're saying Alice, I do, but you didn't see him last time, I can't ever see him like that again, so I don't care what you've got to do, but it's your job to make sure that doesn't happen. If you don't want to be with him, that's fine, but if you break him you fix him." _She demanded. I knew what she was saying, she didn't want to see Jasper become a ghost again and he was only that way because of me, but I didn't leave this time.

"Rose, I never wanted to break up, he left me without hearing the whys."

"_That's irrelevant, just make sure he doesn't become a zombie again, if he does then...I can't see myself ever wanting to talk or see you again, you're family, and I love you, and I don't want that to happen. So fix it." _And with that she hung up on me.

I sat in silence thinking about what Rose had said and I knew she was right about Jasper, it wasn't like I wanted him to be miserable either...but I didn't know how to make sure he wasn't. Unfortunately I had reached the breaking point of my bladder and I was going to have to leave the safety of my dark office to use the bathroom.

I received a few looks and glances but mostly surprised looks, most likely because very few had seen me today. I made it to the bathroom without anyone stopping me, I was on a mission anyway; a mission to not wet my pants, enough eyes were on me already without adding that to it.

I finished in the bathroom and when I opened the door to leave I saw Rachael standing out there.

"Alice." She smiled. "I haven't seen you all day where have you been?" She asked with her arms crossed.

"Oh, I've been here, I got here early this morning I've just been holed up in my office finishing up the last few details on the wedding, which by the way Amelia has decided that she wants _one_ more dress fitting just to be extra sure that's tomorrow at 2 o'clock and then everything's in place until the big day." I had at least one piece of good news.

"I'm happy to hear that, do you have a second, I have something I want to um...show you-in my office." She was acting strange all the sudden.

"Ok." I didn't know what else to say, but I needed to talk to her anyway.

When we got back to her office I closed the door behind me and shut the blinds on the windows looking out to the rest of the floor. With the people who worked here you could never be too safe when you wanted something to stay on the DL.

"Ok, I want to know what happened last night, did you say 'yes', was it romantic?" She sounded like a high school girl and I was about to shatter it, I was shocked that she had the whole story; I knew Jazz had called but I didn't think he would tell her everything.

_Unless he was that confident. Damn it Alice!_

"Looking back, I wished I would have said it, because then I wouldn't be where I am now." I looked down at my lap completely ashamed of what I had done and Rachael was only my boss, telling my mom and the rest of my family would suck more.

"What? You said no? I thought you two straighten that out?" She seemed more sad then shocked.

"That's just it, we never said a word about our problems, they were never brought up, with everything going on there was much time to. It seems like he just wants it that way forever, but I can't do that." I told her.

"What did he say then?

"Nothing." It was true.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" She was confused.

"Meaning he didn't have a chance to, Rosalie went into labor last night then had to have an emergency c-section and emergency surgery, so we spent most of the night in Port Angeles. He spent the night at the house we just bought." The water works were turning back on.

"Are the babies ok?" She asked worried.

"As well as they can be, she was only 29 weeks, they were hoping she'd make it to 32, but since she didn't the triplets were airlifted to the Children's Hospital here." I filled her in. "Rachael, why do I screw everything up?" I was in desperate need of advice.

"Let's hope you don't screw _everything _up, I like you quite a bit Alice, I would really hate to have to fire you." She said it with a smile and I knew she was trying to cheer me up.

"Well, ok maybe not everything, but the personal stuff at least. I mean less then a year ago all I wondered was when Jasper would finally propose and we'd start the next chapter in our lives, but...now...now it's like I all the sudden don't want that anymore-which isn't true in the least-I...I just didn't want him to ask me for the wrong reasons. I wanted him to ask because he loved me and wanted to spend forever together." That was it, that was the best way I could explain my logic and it was what I would tell my family too when they asked why.

"Are you so sure he didn't?" Rachael's question was a good one, no a great one and one that really made me think.

"I'll never know, he's going back to Port Angeles today, I probably won't see him again until I go into labor." I knew my chance was gone. "He still wants to be a part of the baby's life, so that should be a fitting punishment; having to see him all the time-not to mention the family gatherings he will probably attend-and I'm sure one day he will find someone else...and I'll have to be ok." I wasn't only trying to convince her, but it seemed myself.

"What makes you think you can't stop him, and try to work it out?" She sounded like a shrink.

"It's too late for that now." I concluded.

"It's only too late if you think it is." Some of her answers were harder to figure out then an enigma. I would have asked what she meant by that but her phone started ringing and she looked at the call ID. "Uhgg, I'm sorry, I have to get that, but if you need anyone to talk to I'm only a few yards away." She told me real fast before picking up the receiver. "This is Rachael Christophe."

I got out of my chair and quietly left, heading back to my own office to once again hide.

I spent the next several hours completely engulfed in all the finishing touches. I finished by 3 o'clock but the joy of it was stolen away completely by the situation with Jasper. I didn't want to leave things the way they were, but he had been so angry the night before that I wasn't sure if he had even calmed down yet.

Work had now ceased to stimulate my mind so I decided to call it a day, I was finished with everything I need to do in the office and I was growing increasingly hungrier by the minute. It was when I started to feel queasy that I remembered I hadn't ate yet today, just water from the aluminum bottle I took everywhere with me. It once was filled with coffee but now it was mostly water and juices. I gathered my many bags and thankfully I was able to get in the elevator without being stopped.

I hoped that I had everything I needed since-if everything went according to plan-I wouldn't have to come back in here until Thursday. That gave me five days to get my stuff together at the hotel and the rest out of storage and into the house where Jasper wouldn't be. What was once meant to be our dream house was turning into my worst nightmare.

As soon as I got in the car my phone started ringing and I already knew who it was; _It's your mother, pick it up its mommy on the phone pick it up, don't hide from me you can't hide it's your mother don't think you can run away, I know where you are pick it up I'm gonna find you sooner or later. _When I finally dug it out of my purse I immediately sent it to voicemail, not wanting to talk right now, though I was sure she already knew from Rosalie.

I got back to the hotel and-what was now a routine thing-left my car running, took my bags and got out giving the valet temporary custody of my beat up Bug.

"Will you be needing any help with your bags Mrs. Hale?" I jerked my head toward him at the sound of that name but quickly found my resolve again.

"No, thank you." I told him before going inside. I was tired, hungry, and in dire need of a shower to try and wash some of my worries off me, being referred to as 'Mrs. Hale' was the cherry on top. I was about to snap.

I looked up from my feet when I almost ran into one of the center tables and there he was, frozen in horror and I was sure I resembled the same. He had said he was going to be by in the morning, it was well into the afternoon. I would have never expected to see him.

"I was just getting my stuff out of the room and giving all the keys to the front desk like I said." He spoke first after what was more then a long pause, and I took notice to the few duffel bags hanging from his shoulders. "I didn't think you'd be done with work yet."

"Rough day." I brought my self to tell him.

"I know the feeling." We were talking to each other like strangers.

I didn't know what else to say, so much was running though my head that I forgot I was talking to him and he apparently didn't have a whole lot either. But I then decided to take my shot at getting out what I needed to say.

"Jazz, I'm-"

"You don't have to apologize, you were right; our problems in the past didn't just go away." He shook his head. "And I see now that if we did get married then somewhere down the line they would surface again, and we would hate each other before the end. I don't know about you but I can't handle that and that's why...this me saying goodbye, it's all in the letter I left with the keys." He pointed behind himself to the front desk. "So I'll um..." He left his statement unfinished and went speeding past me and flew into his jeep that I had apparently missed when I got there and squealed out of the short drive.

I stood in the lobby for a minute completely mind-fucked by what had just happened. Everything was turning out wrong; none of it was suppose to go this way. It seemed as if my plans went out the window like the map you desperately need to get back to the interstate. I was my own Yoko Factor only for me…in the end…there was no John.

And part of me still believes when you say you're gonna stick around

And part of me still believes we can find a way to work it out

But I know that we tried everything we could try

So let's just say goodbye

Forever

_Out From Under-Britney Spears_


	20. Lindsay Quit Lollygagging

_Bite my tongue right now the perfect time_

_Do anything to make her happy_

_Even if it means my being miserable_

_As long as she's loving life_

_I will be able to sleep at night_

_With a smile upon her face_

_Lindsay Quit Lollygagging(Acoustic) –_ Chiodos

Jasper POV

After I dropped Alice off at the hotel I went to the house-which was empty-but warm since I turned the heat on earlier in the day. I wondered upstairs and into-what would have been-our bedroom and sat on the floor against the wall.

I took the ring out of my pocket and found that I was completely disgusted with it so I chucked it across the room as hard as I could. Had it not been a family heirloom I gladly would have flushed it down the toilet, the only thing that stopped me was how crushed my mom would be if she ever found out I did.

It wasn't until I noticed the sun rising that I realized I'd spent the entire night staring straight ahead at the wall by the bathroom. All I thought about, all I could think about...was Alice.

I looked out the window and noticed the night fading and daylight starting to touch the house across the street I took my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. It was a little after seven AM. Now I could retrieve my stuff from the storage unit, and when I was positive she was at work I would go back to the hotel for the rest of it.

Rosalie was still going to be in the hospital and Emmett was sure not to be far from her side. I knew where they kept the hide-a-key to the house and I still had the one to the apartment but I didn't want Emmett to come home thinking I was robbing the place and beat the shit out of me before he figured out who I was. Knowing Emmett there was a very good possibility that was how it would go down- never mind the fact that my jeep would be right in front of him-he still wouldn't put two and two together and I'd at least wind up with a broken nose and matching black eyes. That meant that I needed to call him or Rose to tell them I planned on being there and hope they didn't ask why.

I was no where near ready to talk about it no matter how small the details, thinking about it was like no pain I could describe. The only thing I could say about it was I'd rather take Em's worst beating over this feeling. This time though, this time was different, now I was losing her _and _the baby, at least until it was born, I wasn't going to be one of those absentee fathers that everyone bitched about-including the child. No, I was going to be the father my baby deserved regardless if me and Ali were together or not, and hopefully by the time he or she was older Alice and I would be ok around each other. I didn't want our child to see us angry or upset whenever we were together.

After hours of just sitting and staring I finally got up and left the bare bedroom. On my way to go downstairs I looked down the other other end of the hall at what would be my child's nursery and walked over to it. I couldn't bring myself to enter so I settled for standing in the doorway and looking in. Memories of what Alice had said about the house when I first showed it to her began playing in my mind.

"_God, I can't wait to start our lives there, it's like I can see what it will be like in the future." _

"_What does our future hold?" I wondered._

"_Happiness...lots and lots of happiness."_

_Was she ever fucking wrong. _

I went downstairs and into the kitchen remembering when we signed the final papers, and me getting the keys from Emily yesterday.

"It was all for nothing." I said to myself out loud.

I noticed a large gift basket sitting on the counter near the fridge that I hadn't seen last night. It was a housewarming/baby themed one. There was a tiny envelope taped to the front of the plastic encased goodies, it read; _Jasper and Alice._ I torn it open and pulled out a miniature piece of paper that was folded in half to make it fit. In what I could only conclude to be the smallest hand writing I'd ever seen it said;

_Dear Jasper and Alice,_

_Congratulations on buying your first house together, may your new place fulfill all the memories you spoke of having in it and the little bundle of joy you two are anxiously awaiting to arrive. On behalf of Opal Realities and myself may this basket of housewarming items come in handy while settling in. I personally threw in some baby things that every baby needs. Enjoy starting your family._

_Emily_

_P.S. The piggy bank has five dollars in it to start out the little one's college fund._

Inside the basket was an address book, a stationary set, stamps and address labels that said Jasper & Alice Hale. Those things must have been standard for the company because Emily knew that we weren't married, and really anyone else who looked at our paper work should have figured it out as well seeing as how we had two different last names. The baby side of the basket had a large pale yellow piggy bank like the one Emily had mentioned in her note, a package of three rolled up baby blankets, a couple of bottles with extra nipples, a pacifier and a small teddy bear.

I unwrapped the plastic carefully and took out the stationary set, during my hours upstairs I thought about what I wanted to say to Alice...but I didn't want to do it face to face. I removed the top from the letter-sized box and inside I reveled in an organized fashion; paper and envelopes bundled together on top of one another, and on the side a long thin stretch of space for the pencil and pen. Writing what was on my mind was going to be the best way to get my feelings out without anything else interrupting them. When it came to Alice I swore I could feel what she was feeling, if she was hurt, I was hurt, if she was sad, so was I, if her heart was breaking...mine was too. I was pretty sure what ever I wrote was going to be hard, but-since I was a coward-I wouldn't have to see the look on her face. If I did it in person then everything I needed to say would only go out the window.

I took out a few sheets and the pen then replaced the top to the box to use as a hard surface. I left the kitchen and went into the sitting room to write the worst letter in my life.

Nothing that came out was right, everything I wrote didn't fit, and I had to start all over. I was starting to run out of paper so I needed to hurry up and get it right.

After several painful hours filled with mini meltdowns I finally managed to compose two letters-each with a different outcome-saying what I wanted to say, folded each neatly and sealed them inside the matching envelopes. I picked up the balled up papers to take to my car and took one last glace at the house I saw so much potential for. The dreams I once had for the place were now destined to end up in the part of my mind filled with cob webs. Knowing that felt like a hole had been made in my chest that was getting bigger and bigger causing me to slowly bleed internally.

My next stop was to the storage unit that we shared and retrieve my things to drag back to Em and Rose's place with my tail tucked between my legs. I had no idea what I was going to say-I still couldn't figure out exactly what happened. It felt like I only had the Cliff Notes which said; I proposed to Alice, she said 'no', and broke up with me all at the same time for reasons I can't understand. I did not like this version of our story but yet there it was. I had called Rosalie on my way to tell her part of what was going on. I figured she was the best out of the two to tell seeing as how she wasn't at full strength to argue with me.

I arrived at the storage facility and drove down the aisle marked "G" it was the one our unit was in. I looked at the other identical garages with the royal blue doors and red roofs and wondered what secrets were buried in each one. Weather it was bikes, old books, or even a secret man-cave-which I was sure there had to be a few. I knew for a fact that there was at least one, when I was here the first time with Emmett we saw a unit that had a bar, two Lazy-boys and a flat screen TV that was mounted on the back wall. Along with a few metal Bud Lite signs and neon lights for another beer that I couldn't pronounce, the party consisted of six guys gathered around the very nice, very expensive sleek black BMW parked in front of the door with a football game playing. Now that Emmett's little ones were here there was a slim chance that we would be doing something like that anytime soon.

When I opened the door to the unit both mine and Alice's stuff was mixed in together. Seeing her things brought back memories of her condo and those first few blissful days. I sat down on her leather sofa and held my head in my hands. As much as I had hoped for a different outcome these were the cards Fate had dealt me. I realized now that Alice and I weren't meant to spend forever together.

Finally I brought myself to start loading my things in the Jeep, unfortunately I wasn't able to fit everything in one trip, so I figured I would drop this load off pick up the rest and collect my things from the hotel room before Alice got home from work.

About an hour into sorting through everything I found a box labeled 'photos' and opened the lid. The pictures inside were all different shapes, sizes, and resolutions, a large stack that was rubber-banded together were ones of us from when we were kids. There was also high school pictures from dances and sports, one of Alice in her cheerleading uniform stuck out to me. I picked it up and underneath it were several shots of us tubing down the river with Emmett, Rose, Edward and Bella. We had taken the trip down to Yosemite the summer before the last of us started college. Alice was sitting on my lap and Edward and Bella were in the background behind us not paying attention to anything but each other.

Digging further into the box I found a DVD that read 'Yosemite Tubing Trip'. The unit was equipped with electricity so I took the time to hook up my TV and DVD player and inserted the disc. It opened with a close up of Emmett talking to the camera.

"_OK , here we are in the beautiful Yosemite State Park about to embark on a six mile journey down the long and twisting river on the grounds." _He tried to make it sound dangerous as he turned the camera around to Rosalie and Bella unpacking the truck. _"And here we have two of our explorers of the finer sex." _The shot zoomed in on Rose's chest and I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"_Emmett, turn that think off and help us with the stuff!" _Rose shouted at him and swatted the camera away but he didn't stop rolling. Instead he turned to Edward who was standing with the drivers door open applying sunblock to his shoulders and face.

"_Hey Edward, I think you missed a spot." _Emmett told him.

"_I did, where?" _He asked looking down at his chest.

"_On your dick you big pussy, what's with the sunblock?"_ Emmett mocked his brother.

"_We'll see who is whining from sunburn and who isn't at the end of the day my friend."_

"_Ok, right."_

" _The sun reflects off the water causing you to burn quicker you moron." _Edward added with a bit of irritation in his voice

"_Whatever." _He abandoned his conversation with Edward in search of something else to film...he found me and Alice.

I had my arms wrapped around her waist and she was laughing at something I whispered to her, I also had an equally large smile on my face as I buried it in her hair.

"_And last but not least we have my lovely baby sister and her boyfriend also my angel's twin brother." _He stuck the camera in our faces and Alice waved and kept smiling while mine diminished some.

"_Emmett shouldn't you be helping Rose and Bella unload the truck?" _Alice asked in that chipper voice of hers.

"_It's the last-of-us-starting-college trip someone has to document this adventure of ours, the last of us are starting college, it's a time of celebration to look back on when were in our mid-twenties or something. It's something to show to our children." _He tried to justify his reason. _"Besides what are you two doing that's any help?"_

"_We've got the tubes you loser, now go help and get that thing away from us." _I told him as I lifted Alice off the ground to turn us away from his view before setting her back on her feet.

The movie then cut to us all on the river and Alice in my lap-like the picture-only this time it was unbeknownst to us. Everyone else was carrying on in other conversations but I was softly singing to her-I remembered-as she leaned back into my chest and our entwined fingers were partially lost under the surface of the water. As I finished the song she tilted her head to look up at me.

"_I love you." _I told her, smiling.

"_I love you." _She replied before kissing me as the camera zoomed in.

I pointed the remote at the player and pushed pause. It was obvious how happy we were together, it was to bad we couldn't be there now. After a few minutes of staring at the screen I pushed play again and the movie continued on filming more of the trip. I was only a couple of minutes back into it when I realized I wasn't alone. I turned to see Emmett leaning against the unit's entrance and I paused it again.

"I remember that trip." He smiled. "We had a hell of a time."

"It was a long time ago." I replied callously.

"Not so long Jazz." His voice now serious. "Rose called and told me what was going on...I filled in some of the blanks myself." He moved to sit next to me on the couch. "So do you wanna fill in the rest?"

"Not really no, but it's gonna get to you sooner or later." I sighed tossing the remote next to me. "I...I asked Alice to marry me last night...and she said 'no'." I put it as plainly as possible. "She claims I should be mad at her, not want to marry her." It was still a little shocking to hear myself say.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry Jasper, I didn't know it was that bad."

"It's done." I responded quickly.

"I thought for sure you two were meant to be together forever." He sounded a little stumped.

"I'll let you in on a little secret; you're not the only one."

"Well I came to help you move your stuff back, but I gotta be honest with you; I'm a little concerned about you holing yourself up in that apartment again with a bottle clutched to your hand." His voice was playful but not careless.

"No, don't worry about it, this time it's under different circumstances. There's a lot more going on and it needs to be handled with a clear head I get that." I turned and gave him a small smile.

"Good, cause I know Rosalie already talked to you about it and right now we got a lot of shit to deal with too." He reminded me.

"Emmett, I swear I'll be fine-so to speak." I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry to dump all this on you now, I know it's the last thing you guys needed." I apologized.

"Your family Jasper, don't ever feel sorry for needing family. I know it doesn't seem like it but one day things will look better. Like when you see your little one for the first time." He smiled.

"I hope you're right." Was all I could say.

"Ok, what do you say we get going on packing the rest of this shit up in the truck." He got up from the couch and started looking at the names on the boxes and grabbed a couple when he found mine.

I took the DVD out and put it on the dash of the jeep before returning to unhook the electronics to transport them again. It seemed that's how I spent my time lately, moving things around, shuffling cities and feeling completely shattered...I hated it.

Moving all my things back into the apartment seemed like a replay of my life, running home when things got tough. Over the years Alice and I had our spats like any other couple but we didn't run from each other then so why the hell did we have to do it now?

We had just finished unloading Emmett's truck when we sat down to take a break.

"You know Em, I'm aware I've said it already but thanks again for your help man. This day has sucked beyond the telling of it. With you here it makes not seem so bad."

"Well you may not thank me in a minute; I gotta ditch the rest of this mission bro. Rosalie's been by herself for a few hours now and at the moment that's not a good thing. Will you be ok alone tonight, I planned on staying at the hospital." He informed me of his intentions.

"You kidding me? Go be with your wife man, and give her a kiss for me." I assured him. "I'm just gonna unpack the jeep, order some Chinese food, and watch bad TV."

"Ok, but if you need something I'll have my cell phone on."

"In that case I'll see you tomorrow." I said.

"'Kay, bye." He hurried out the door. Now I felt bad for keeping him away from Rosalie.

After I heard his truck pull out I went back outside to grab more boxes. In all it only took me about a half hour to get it all inside and when I did I found myself sitting on the couch staring at the photo box again. I knew that there were more videos of us in there, just us. Now I was debating if I should go looking for them. It took me about ten minutes before I gave in. The first one I found was labeled 'Pillow Talk' in Alice's handwriting. Hooking the system up again I put the DVD in, it opened to us lying in bed with Alice holding the camera above our heads.

"_Say something to the camera Jazz." _Her angelic voice told me as she stared at the lens.

"_What do you want me to say?"_ I asked turning my head to look at her next to me.

"_Say anything..."_ She looked at me and even in profile I could still see the love in her eyes. _"Say anything to me."_ She spoke softer.

"_In that case I'll say I love you." _I moved closer to her before claiming her lips for my own. After a long passionate kiss she asked me another question.

"_Where do you think we'll be five years from now?" _She faced the camera again.

"_Together I hope."_

"_Yes, but what will we be doing?"_

"_We'll be in another stage of our lives." _I answered vaguely.

"_What stage is that?" _She continued with her questions.

"_I suppose we'll just have to wait and see." _I replied.

"_Well if I had to guess I would say that we're still going to be as _madly_ in love as we are now. We'll be together and we'll be happy." _

"_Umm, I like that future, I'll take one please." _I joked with her.

Grabbing the remote I pushed stop now changing my mind and didn't want to go any farther into it. I thought about putting another one in before I remembered that I still had to go back to Seattle and pick up my things from the hotel room and drop off the keys for Alice. It was only 10 o'clock plus since Alice was down to the wire with her current account I knew she would still be at work by the time I got there and had everything taken care of. So I set out for Seattle once again.

Because of an four car pileup it took me almost three-in-a-half hours to get to the ferry and I still needed to stop at a post office for a larger envelope to hold the letter and keys. Thankfully there was one close to the hotel. I purchased a standard manila envelope with bubble wrap inside, I placed inside it the letter I had wrote to her, my set of keys, the garage door opener, and the DVD of the Yosemite trip then with a black Sharpie I wrote her first name only. I didn't seal it since I didn't know what letter I was going to put in yet.

I got to the hotel around 2:30 and instead of stopping at the valet booth I drove down to the end of the drive and got out taking the envelope with me. The valet stood debating if he should approach me or not so he settled for a greeting.

"Hello Mr. Hale."

"Hey, I just have to run upstairs and grab a few things, it should only take about twenty minutes is it alright to leave the jeep here?"

"Of course sir." He replied politely like all the employees did.

"Thanks." I said patting his shoulder as I walked past him then I stopped in my tracks. "Mrs. Hale isn't in is she?" I asked turning to look at him. I hated referring to Alice by that name now because of the sting it caused but they wouldn't know who I was talking about if I said Cullen.

"No sir."

"Thanks again." I told him relieved as I turned back to hurrying after I got inside the doors.

Inside the room I found myself growing more depressed as I saw all of her things laying around surrounding my items and me. I pushed myself forward to get my bag out of the bedroom and start the scavenger hunt I had to complete quickly. Since housekeeping hadn't been in today it took me an hour to collect everything. When I was done I took one last look at Alice's things around the room, threw my key-card on the table then I turned my back on them and left our temporary home leaving a piece of me there.

Still carrying the package of items I stood in line at the front desk and waited my turn.

"I can help who's next." A female called out when I was up. It was Victoria. "Hello Mr. Hale, what can I do for you today?" She asked in her chipper voice.

"I just need to leave this for Alice, can you make sure she gets it today." I held the envelope up before sliding it across the counter to her all the while holding my composure. When she reached for it I placed my hand on top of hers. "Victoria, it's really important." I confessed to her breaking the facade that it wasn't a big deal and showing her my true colors.

"I'll make sure she gets it as soon as she walks in." She told me seriously and with understanding.

"Thank you." I said sincerely lifting my hand in relief. I went to leave when she called out to me quietly.

"I'm not going to see you again, am I Mr. Hale?" She wasn't really asking a question.

"No." I couldn't say anything else.

"In that case, I hope everything's ok and that you have a good life." She gave me a small smile.

"You too Victoria, you too." I said before leaving.

As I walked to the door I thought about the happy times we shared just in the last few days and I knew that I would never be able to stay in this hotel again, or even see an ad for it without thinking of her. Then-I couldn't believe it-I saw her, she was walking toward me with her head down looking at her feet. I was frozen in horror it was only half past three yet there she was...and then she looked up at me and shock took the place of her grief. After what seemed like and eternity neither of us had said anything and I was growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"I was just getting my stuff out of the room and giving all the keys to the front desk like I said." It was stupid but it was all I could think of. "I didn't think you'd be done with work yet."

"Rough day." She replied.

"I know the feeling."

"Jazz-I'm"

"You don't have to apologize, you were right; our problems in the past didn't just go away. And I see now that if we did get married then somewhere down the line they would surface and we would hate each other before the end. I don't know about you but I can't handle that and that's why...this is me saying goodbye, it's all in the letter I left with the keys." I pointed behind me. "So I'll um..." And that was as far as I could get, I simply sped past her without another word. Not one. I quickly got in the jeep and left the hotel still able to feel Alice's eyes watching me from inside the lobby. I was shocked that I had said all those things when twenty minutes ago I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to be a part of the baby's life, but my life with Alice was now...really...over and that wasn't in the letter.

On my way back to Port Angeles I stopped to got the Chinese food I had told Emmett about. The restaurant was in a strip mall with a video store a few doors down so I decided to check out the new releases while I waited for my order. I settled for picking two, one about World War II and the other was a disaster flick dealing with bizarre weather. Disaster movies had always been Alice's favorite; _2012, The Day After Tomorrow, Volcano, The Core. Dante's Peak_ they were just a few on her list.

_I wonder if she's seen this one yet?_

I went to the counter and paid for my choices then headed back to the restaurant for my meal. When I got back to the house I saw the driveway wasn't empty like it should have been, Edward's brand new Aston Martin V12 Vanquish was parked in it and he was leaning against the side.

I turned the jeep off and grabbed my bags trying to think of why he was here. If something was wrong with Rose or the babies I would have gotten a phone call.

"Hey Edward." I said as I shut my door. "If you're looking for Em he said he was staying the night at the hospital." I informed him.

"I know I just came from there." He stood up straight and took a few steps toward me. "Emmett kinda told me what was going on."

"In other words he sent you to check on me?" Edward was never a very good liar.

"What's in the bags?" He ignored my question.

"Chinese food and movies-why do you wanna be my date for this evening?" I was getting pissed now.

"Do you need a date?" I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic. "Because if you need to talk-"

"I know; you-like everyone else-just want me to know that you're there for me. Thanks but like I told Emmett; this time is different." I knew I'd be repeating myself to everyone and I was preparing for the worried looks they would all have.

"I'm glad to hear it, but there's somewhere we need to go." He twirled his car keys in his hand. "I promised Bella and I can't go home until we do. So go put the food away and hop in." He said as he opened the drivers door and got in the car.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see, come on lets go or we're gonna be late."

I was still standing next to the car with a confused look on my face.

"Unless you _really _want me to be your date, I'll stay the night and everything because I'm not going home and getting yelled at." He stated.

"Ok, fine, just give me a sec." I headed for the stairs to go put the food in the fridge.

When I came back outside Edward had turned the car on and was letting the music seep out his open window along with the smoke from his cigarette.

_Great, if he's smoking I'll be out forever._

I got in the passenger side and before I had my seat belt on we were already out of the driveway and in the street.

"You know there are kids around here Speedie." I held onto the bar above the door to stop myself from being thrown around the vehicle. Edward had a thing for fast cars, the Vanquish was his favorite out of the three he own, not including the matching Ducati 848's he and Bella had. The others were a Volvo S60R and a fully restored '69 Mustang with a V8 engine. Out of all the cars he and Bella had the Mustang was my favorite even over Bella's cherry red Ferrari F430.

"Like I said we're gonna be late." He justified his reason for trying to break the sound barrier.

When we hit the highway he really put down his lead foot down and we were pushing 110 which was still slow for him.

"So where are we going exactly, I had a long night and am currently having a bad day, so I really just want to be at home sleeping." I wasn't lying I was tired but what I wouldn't say was how scared I was to close my eyes...for fear of seeing Alice's face in my dreams.

"Well seeing as how you're not going to jump out of a moving vehicle I guess I can tell you." He gave in. "My dad arranged for us to see the triplets. Emmett and mom didn't want to leave Rose, dad is on-call, Alice is busy with work, so that leaves you, me, and Bella." He finally confessed. "Bella and I were just going to go but she wanted me to come and get you, she thought seeing them might cheer you up a some. She should already be there waiting for us."

"She didn't want me to be alone." I could always read between the lines with Edward.

"You know when Alice left it wasn't just hard on you and Rosalie...it crushed Bella that her best friend in the whole world just disappeared. Mostly because she thinks Alice didn't trust her enough to tell her what was going on-but as you know Bella is horrible at lying and keeping secrets."

"Did she tell you how quickly I got Alice's location out of her?" I smiled remembering how easy it was to make Bella uncomfortable even after knowing her for more then twenty years.

"Yeah, she did-and that's what I'm talking about-I can see why Alice didn't tell her." He laughed a little then his face became serious again. "But what also bothered her...was how much it destroyed you. That's why she has taken it upon herself to personally make sure that doesn't happen again."

"And she thinks baby snuggles are the cure? I'm not a woman , she does know that right?" I already knew baby smell wasn't the answer to all my problems.

"No shit." He said irritated. "But you are going to have your own child _very _soon. So Bella has appointed me to be your personal trainer in Daddy-ism." It didn't sound like he cared for it much.

"Jesus Christ. Dude your wife is crazy." I shook my head unable to wrap my mind around this disastrous-of-a-situation I was now in.

"Hey, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be!" He corrected me as he pulled out another cigarette and lit it. "But Bella's withholding sex if I don't, plus like I said earlier I won't be able go home either and I'm not just making that up, she told me this!" The truth was Edward appeared to be cracking as he jabbed the steering wheel with his finger repeatedly. "First lesson in Daddy-ism is this; never piss off the mother because if you do you'll find yourself up every night feeding and changing for a month." He took a long drag off his smoke. "I'm so glad Renesmee sleeps through the whole night now cause at least she can't use that one on me." He had a sinister smile on his face.

It then occurred to me; I wouldn't have to worry about these things because Alice was going to be in Seattle and I in Port Angeles. I didn't have to worry about who's turn it was to get up, or being punished with diaper duty. What I would have to worry about was custody, I wasn't going to take Alice to Court over it. I was positive we could work it out on our own, but distance was an issue, I suppose I could always pick the baby up after I got done with work. But who would babysit for me during the day? Would the baby go to daycare? Would I drop the baby off at the same daycare or find my own? I had a million questions that only Alice and I could answer...the only problem was we weren't talking right now.

"Yeah I don't think I'm going to have quite the same problems as you and Emmett." I finally said something.

"Shit man I'm sorry, it flew right past me." He said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it, you go on and rant about your crazy-ass wife." I told him as I looked out the window to the treeline that started the giant forest that stretched along the highway.

"No, no, we can talk about something else..." He drifted off as if to find another topic. "Oh, I got another tip for you; read the baby books, it may sound stupid but they answer a lot of questions that we think are too stupid to ask our w-" He stopped himself. "That are too stupid to ask." He corrected himself.

"That one I think you've already told me...and Emmett. I saw a couple when I was shopping for Alice earlier this week. It kinda sucks I was suppose to finish the nursery for her, I planned on starting this weekend. Guess now I've got to make my own."

"Yeah, have you and Alice talked about that yet, you know custody and everything?"

"Edward, we haven't said much of anything to each other since dinner last night. Unless you count the very awkward conversation we had in the hotel lobby a few hours ago."

"I knew it wasn't just because of the job that had you two all dressed up-wait you saw Alice today?"

"Yeah, she got home from work early and I almost literally ran into her, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok, we don't have to." He said letting it go.

I decided to bring the discussion back to the original conversation. "You know I bought that dress she was wearing, actually just about everything she had on. I had spent all week planning that dinner."

"You-you went shopping for Alice?" He sounded surprised.

"I had help from your mom and the sales lady, trust me she never would have looked that good if I did it all by myself." I couldn't believe everyone thought I did it alone, I was a straight man after all.

"She never would have worn it if you did it all by yourself." He mocked me, as we both laughed. "I did notice she had on Grandma's crest though, did mom give it to you?"

"Yeah, she helped me pick out the chain as well as her other jewelry, and this woman who works for a store called _Hush Baby_ picked out the dress and shoes." I explained.

"Let me guess you didn't need any help with the bra and underwear?" Edward teased, he had decided years ago that he wasn't going see it as his best friend dating his sister but rather his best friend dating another one of his best friends, it made it easier for him and Emmett to deal with. I did the same thing with Rosalie but there were still a few conversations we never had. They mostly consisted of us never discussing sex-that included Edward and Bella's, Bella was practically my sister-or anything of that nature, lingerie was about as far as it went.

"No, she picked those out herself when she got dressed in the morning." I told him.

"Well knowing Alice I'm sure even those matched." He chuckled pitching his butt out the window as raindrops started to hit the windshield. "God damn fucking rain." He said to himself.

"What did you expect you live in the wettest place in America." I reminded him.

"Yeah, but have you ever noticed that everyone forgets how to drive once it starts falling? That means I have to slow down and go as fast as a snail with the rest of them...I was going for my best time too." He sounded bummed.

"How is it you _never _get a ticket?" I wondered. It was true while Edward did love speed he had never once been pulled over.

"With this." He uncovered a police scanner hidden in his console. "I nicked it from a deputy's desk in Forks awhile back. Bella doesn't even know I have it or Charlie for that matter." He smiled.

"Does Charlie know about your addiction?" I wondered.

"No way. Bella said if he ever found out she'd kill me before he had a chance to and I believe her. She can be quite scary when it's just us, she isn't really sweet, shy or innocent like you all think she is. It's just a ploy to get you off her scent and make me look like the crazy one."

"Can I tell you something?" I asked him.

"What?"

"It's working." I laughed out loud.

"Shut up."

When I saw the sign saying the ferry was two miles away I couldn't believe how fast the time went by. We had made the journey in an hour-and-a-half, faster I'm sure if the rain hadn't slowed Edward down. But what amazed me the most was I had caught myself laughing or smiling most of the way here. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad this time. As long as she was perfectly fine, then I would be able to sleep at night...as long as she was perfectly fine.


	21. Set Fire To The Third Bar

_I'm miles from where you are_

_I lay down on the cold ground and I_

_I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms_

_I'm miles from where you are_

_I lay down on the cold ground and I _

_I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms_

_Set Fire to the Third Bar_ – Snow Patrol

Jasper POV

When Edward and I got to the Children's Hospital we discovered the NICU was on the third floor and we were currently waiting for an elevator to take us there.

"So health wise do you know how they are doing?" I asked him as the doors opened and we stepped inside.

"Natalie is doing ok on the dialysis, and all three of them have small lungs, but so far they're doing fine. That's why we're able to see them, also thanks to dad's connections otherwise we couldn't come in without Emmett or Rose here." He informed me before the doors opened again. Across the hall there was a sign above a set of doors that said NICU.

"There's Bella." He pointed to a waiting area for the ward. She saw us too and got up from her seat, Edward left my side to hug and kiss his wife. "Hey, sweetie."

"Hi guys." She replied. "They're all ready for us, so we can go on in but you have to put these bracelets on." She held up two white bands that said 'Cullen' on it.

"What are they for?" I wondered.

"It's so the doctors and nurses know that you're suppose to be there, no band, no baby viewing." She said handing us each one. We slid them on and were on our way through the doors.

The inside looked very different from the out, in here they had brightly painted walls, animals and cartoons plastered everywhere, and instead of hospital it smelled like babies and bleach. At the center was a giant nurses station surrounded by huge rooms with large glass windows. Inside the rooms were two rows of incubators, there was three rooms in all each with a number over it. The one we stopped in front of was '1'.

"Ok, put these on." She said giving me a yellow plastic gown that tied in the back. "Then grab a package of scrub soap and wash your hands." She pointed to the sink as she reached for her own. "You scrub until you've sang _Happy Birthday _three times. It's a sterile environment and we don't want to expose the babies to any germs we can avoid-and not just the triplets but the others as well. I got the scoop while waiting for you to get here, all babies start out in this room," She pointed to the one in front of our sink. "And as they get healthier and bigger they move on to '2' then '3' after that it's Graduation Day which means they get to go home. So keep in mind that all these babies are brand new and really sick, be respectful of the other parents and please, please, don't stare at the other babies. Some of them are in pretty bad shape, as in we won't see them the next time we come." She was now talking to us like kids.

"I think we know how to be discreet." Edward defended us as we all finished drying off our hands.

"You better, I know I already told you what the consequences would be?" She glared at Edward.

_Holy shit, he wasn't lying, Bella really is a mean little woman._

"Trust me, I got _that _memo." He stated.

"Put on a pair of gloves and lets go." She never took her eyes of Edward as she put her own on.

When we went in the room it became much quieter without the noise from the nurses station making the atmosphere changed drastically. In the far right corner was three incubators all pushed closely together and two nurses standing around them. One was writing something in a chart the other had one of the incubators open and was changing a diaper. The nurse with the chart looked up and saw us moving slowly towards them, she gave us a smile then waving us over. We moved quicker until we were standing right in front of her.

"Hi, Maggie, this is my husband Edward, and our brother-in-law Jasper. He's Rosalie's twin." Bella whispered to the nurse. "Edward, Jasper, this is Maggie and that's Siobhan" She pointed first to the one with the chart then the diaper changer.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, we can't thank you enough for letting us come see them." Edward told Maggie softly.

"Oh anything for Dr. Cullen, and might I say what a proud Grandfather he is." She smiled. "But anyways here we have Xavier, that's Natalie there, and Siobhan has Haleigh. Now since Natalie is currently on a course of dialysis you can't hold her, but Xavier and Haleigh are do for a bottle if you'd like to feed them." She said looking at all of us.

"Yes, I do." Bella answered a little too happily for her normal personality. "And so does Jasper." She added grabbing my sleeve to yank me forward.

"Great, I'll just go prepare them, if you two wanna sit in those rocking chairs Siobhan will come and give you a baby." She pointed next to her before leaving the room.

"Bella, I'm not so sure about this." I leaned in to tell her, it was my first chance to protest. "Maybe Edward should just do it." I suggested.

"Edward already gets enough hours in feeding a baby, you on the other hand need the practice." She said while guiding me to the chair.

I sat down reluctantly and became nervous when I looked up to see Siobhan standing above me with one of the babies.

"Are you ready to hold your niece?" Siobhan asked me.

"I don't really know how to." I admitted.

"It's alright I'll show you." Bella told me. "Fold your arms like this." She demonstrated and I tried my best to mimic it but she still had to come and adjust them. "There keep them like that." She looked back at the nurse and nodded her head.

"Now don't forget to hold up her head and support her neck." The nurse told me as she set Haleigh down in my arms. She was so light, Alice's smallest bag weight more then her.

"Oh my god." I said in complete amazement that a human being could be so tiny. "Am I doing it right?" I asked.

"You're doing perfect, you're a natural." She replied.

"Jasper is going to be a daddy himself here in a few months. We thought it would be good for him to get some practice in before he has to come off the bench permanently." Bella shared as Siobhan went to get Xavier out of his cube. She handed him to Bella-who looked just as stunned as I was by them.

Maggie returned with the bottles and handed each of us one.

"Ok when they get about a quarter of the way done stop feeding them and tell us so we can burp them. Then we'll give them back to you for another quarter and we do that until it's gone or they won't eat anymore." Maggie gave us our instructions.

That was when I really looked at her face she had some sort of padding covering her eyes and a very small internal oxygen mask. When I put the bottle to her mouth she started to stir then quickly latched onto the nipple. I could feel her tiny heart beating against my hand, it was going so fast that I became worried. "Hey, I think something is wrong with her heart, it's beating too fast." I said to anyone who would listen. Siobhan came over and quickly listened to Haleigh's chest.

"Actually it's right where it should be, babies hearts beat faster then an adult or even a child."

"Are you sure?" I wanted to double check.

"I'm positive. Your baby is sure lucky to have a dad like you, just look at the way you are with your niece who you've only held for five minutes. To be honest all the worry you feel right now is nothing compared to when it's your own child, just you wait." She assured me.

"Hey Jazz, look here." Edward told me. I looked up to see he had his iphone out and pointed at me. "Smile." He said.

As much as I hated pictures I couldn't bring myself to object so I put a grin on my face. After he took the photo I went back to looking at Haleigh's small face, and while I couldn't see her eyes I knew for a fact that she had Rosalie's. She also had her nose and chin. "God she looks so much like Rose." I looked over at Bella feeding Xavier.

"I know what you mean, this little guy has his daddy's grip, oh yes you do." She replied in a baby voice.

"Smile babe." Edward knelt down and took a close up of Bella and the baby. Her smile was as big as mine felt. I guess babies really did make people happier.

It took us about an hour to finish the feeding and Edward had taken several dozen photos with his phone the whole time we were there. Now it was time to say goodbye and I didn't want to. Haleigh and Xavier were back in their cubes sound asleep like Natalie was and we all blew kisses to them before thanking Maggie and Siobhan for their time. When we exited the room we resumed using our normal voices.

"I can't get over how cute they all are." Bella cooed. "Edward, I want another one." She turned to her husband for his reaction.

"I'm sure you do, but we have our hands full with Nes as it is." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as we left the NICU for the elevators.

"Yeah, but she can't grow up all by herself she needs brothers and sisters like you guys had. I hated being an only child." She rebutted.

"Let's swing back around to this conversation when Nessie is two." He suggested.

"That only gives you less then a year you know." I whispered to him as we climbed in the elevator.

"Don't remind me." Edward said under his breath.

"Ok so I'm gonna go pick up the baby from my dad's and I'll meet you at home." Bella turned to Edward when we got out on the parking level.

"Give her a kiss goodnight for me." He answered then kissed the top of her head. "I love you." He added as we went left and she right.

"Thanks Bella, you were right seeing them did cheer me up." I admitted.

"Anytime Jazz, anytime." She waved before starting for her car again.

It was past 11 when we got back to the house and I was so exhausted that I was sure I would pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"Thanks for tonight man, it was better then spending it alone." I confessed as Edward turned the car off.

"Sure thing." He nodded his head. "Rose should be able to come home on Tuesday as long as she doesn't develop an infection, so you only have to deal with a couple more nights on your own."

"Edward, I'm not a little kid, the dark doesn't scare me anymore." I said in a sarcastic voice.

"Whatever, get out of my car so I can go home and have sex with my wife."

"Too much information." I shook my head as I opened the door to get out. "Goodnight man, kiss the wife and baby for me."

"See ya." He started the car again and backed out of the drive at 70 miles-per-hour just like before and burnt rubber speeding down the street.

I went into the apartment and immediately discarded my shoes and jeans along with my shirt. I also proved my theory true; as soon as my head hit the pillow I was gone...dreaming about Alice miles from me. I prayed for something to set her back in my arms and have everything be ok...but I knew it was just a dream.

Alice POV

After I ran into Jasper in the lobby I stood there for a few minutes in a trance, what pulled me out of it was a female's voice.

"Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Hale!" She said. I turned to see the red-head who had checked me and Jasper in walking towards me with a package in her hand. "I'm sorry to bother you Mrs. Hale, but Mr. Hale asked me to give you this." She held out the package and I saw my name was written on it in Jasper's handwriting.

"Thank you." I said emotionless as I took it from her.

"I'm so sorry." She told me before turning to leave.

I turned the envelope over in my hands a few times then shoved it into one of my bags and headed for the elevators. The ride to my floor took forever and I found myself wondering what the letter said that Jasper spoke of.

When I got in the room I pulled it back out and placed it on the table where I sat and stared at it for over a half-hour before I picked it up again. This time I opened it and dumped out the contents. It held a set of keys, garage opener, the letter, and a DVD that had "Yosemite Tubing Trip" written on it.

_The-last-of-us-starting-college trip._

I picked up the letter first and debated if I should read it now or after the DVD. I chose to read it first since I remembered that trip somewhat. Turning it over I ripped the seal it had and pulled out a folded piece of paper with some of the words bleeding through. I opened it and began to read.

_My Dearest Alice,_

_ We have spent 10 years dedicated to each other, and even longer loving. If I had a chance to do it over I honestly don't know what I'd change, besides taking back that Thursday night. Please don't cry, our love isn't gone it will live on in our child for all to see, and for that I am truly grateful._

_I don't think it is physically possible for me to ever hate you, I've never experienced that emotion with you, but I think if we don't end things now one day I may, and the day I did would be the day I began truly hating myself. I know you can carry on, you've proven just how capable you are and I have no worries you'll be fine, and that one day you will find the happiness you deserve. I'm just sorry I wasn't the one to give it to you, I always thought I'd be._

_This isn't just another goodbye. This will be our last goodbye, the last letter I write. It's not goodbye forever, only for this chapter of our lives, soon we'll be saying hello to the start of a new one. Our fates are forever linked Alice, but no longer entwined like we hoped. No matter what though I will always I love you. _

_I'm going back to Emmett's and Rosalie's until I can afford my own place in Seattle, I want an active part in the baby's life and I hope you are ok with that. I would also like to be there on the day he or she is born-I don't have to be in the room-just as long as I'm there, but until then I think we should continue our separate ways. Give us some time individually. Take care of yourself, remember what you're carrying and that it's ok to just give in and be pregnant sometimes. I can't tell you enough how much I love you, but know I do, and when the time comes I'll see you again._

_Goodbye Alice, maybe in another life we will find that eternal happiness we searched for in this one...but never found._

_ Love Immortally,_

_Your Jasper_

Halfway through reading it my eyes started to sting and well up, by the end tears were flowing freely down my cheeks and several fell on the letter smearing the ink. I wiped away the remainder and grabbed the DVD to take to the living room. I popped it into the player and sat on the couch with the remote.

It opened on Emmett's face and him talking to the camera, almost immediately I started laugh.

"_Come on Alice get off the fucking tube!" _Edward had said. Everyone was in the water but me who wouldn't get off the tube.

"_No, I already said I wasn't getting my hair wet." _I tried to defend myself as they starting splashing me.

"_Don't be such a baby!" _Bella called.

"_I'm not being a-" _I was cut off by my tube being flipped over and Jasper appearing from under the water.

"_Yes, that was awesome and I got it on camera." _Emmett announced over my screaming.

"_Jasper Xavier Whitlock Hale, I hate you!" _I hollered as I swam toward him latching my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply as if we were alone.

"_No you don't, you love me." _He teased.

The camera cut to us further down the river back in our tubes and all of us obviously drunk.

"_Ok, this is the start of the confessionals part of the movie, and Jasper, Alice, you two drew the short stick and have to go first." _Emmett instructed us as he settled the camera on us still sharing the same tube. In fact I think I only spent the first half-hour in my own.

"_Yeah, yeah, we know." _Jasper grumbled clearly not happy about it. _"What was it again?"_

"_'What We Want to Remember In Five Years." _I told him.

"_Right." _I thought about it for a minute before giving my answer. _"I guess I want to remember what the butterflies feel like because it's one of the greatest feelings in the world. And that I never forget I found my soul mate at age of two and she still gives me butterflies after all theses years."_

The tears had started flowing again, I no longer gave him butterflies, now I gave him grief and suffering.

"_Ok, now it's your turn." _He told me.

"_I got it, I want to remember what falling in love is all about because as you get older I think people forget how wonderful it feels." _I gave my two cents.

I was beginning to wonder if we knew something then that caused us to say what we did. Like we'd need reminding in five years.

_Where was this thing six months ago, when we needed the reminder. Or did he watch this and that's why he gave it to me?_

All sorts of questions started going through my mind.

"_Good answers." _Emmett told us before panning the camera to Bella and Edward. _"Ok, Edward, Bella your turn."_

"_I want to remember that love overcomes all obstacles." _Bella said proudly with a smile on her face.

"_You can't steal lines from _Moulin Rouge_ that's cheating." _Rosalie called. Em turned to her shaking her head in disbelieve. _"Try again."_

"_Fine you win..." _She stared out into nowhere. _"I need a minute to think, Edward you go." _She directed the attention to my brother.

"_Alright, I want to remember...life...is precious, and we should appreciate everyday." _Edward gushed.

"_Oh, Edward that is sweet." _I bought every line he fed.

"_Yeah, that...and there will never be a car that can beat a Vanquish." _He total spoiled the moment with his car nonsense.

"_No, no, no, no, no, the Aston Martin is a fine ride I'll admit, but you still can't be a Beamer." _Rosalie knew more about cars then Edward, but if anyone asked him he said different.

"_Now let's not turn this into another car fight children, because I've got it by the way." _Bella ended the brew war.

"_Ok Bella, what's yours?" _Em asked getting back on track.

"_I want to remember...this. How we all feel about each other now, the love we share. This way if one of us gets lost we'd always have this to guide us home again."_ This time she didn't steal it from a movie and it was a damn good answer.

"_Deep, Bella, very deep." _Em congratulated. _"Ok, babe, your turn." _He now faced Rose.

"_I suppose I want to remember...cause while you'll probably never mature into an adult...I love you." _She started with an irritated voice but smile at the end. _"Now hand the camera over you big baby and don't drop it in the water." _She demanded as she reached for it.

"_You ready?" _Em asked checking himself out quickly before he looked at the lens.

"_Yeah,go." _

"_I want to remember how great Rose's tits look now, cause while eventually time and gravity will take its toll, I still love her...and her tits." _He had a goofy grin on his face the whole time as he made fun of her.

"_You asshole." _She must have thrown the camera at him because the frame bounced all over the place it was almost making me seasick. But it turned out to be hunger.

I turned the movie off and went to retrieve the room service menu. I had no desire to go to the restaurant seeing as how me and Jasper ate there together practically everyday. That's when it occurred to me that outside of last night he had been here with me since I was forced to move in, and in about a week I was going to move again. This time into the house he picked out for us to start our family in...now we were just another statistic, and once again doing the opposite of everyone else we knew. They were married with kids, we were having a child out of wedlock and sharing custody.

_Custody. How will that work? That means I'm gonna have to talk to him. Wait his letter said not to until the baby was born, that was another 13 weeks. It's too long...but now is too early._

I knew all this but it still plagued me, Jazz did say he was going to get a place in Seattle maybe by the time the baby came he'd find something. As I continued thinking about it I realized how difficult things were going to be for us. But I tried to remember that I had decided I was ok raising the baby alone.

_Yeah that was before he walked back into your life, when it was just going to be you._

My stomach rumbled again and I brought my attention back to the menu in front of me. After looking it over I decided that I wanted French toast and picked up the phone to place my order.

"_Room service." _A man answered.

"Yes this is 3211 and I'd like to place an order.

"_Sure thing Mrs. Hale, what can I get for you?" _He asked.

I was really going to have to correct them, it was starting to get to me.

"I'd like an order of French toast with powered sugar and the biggest glass of milk you've got." I told him.

"_Ok, anything for Mr. Hale this evening?" _He wondered and it made my heart skip a beat.

"No." I replied when I regained my composure.

"_Alright, it'll be about 20 minutes." _He informed me.

"Thank you." I said hanging up the phone.

_I need to get out of here as soon as possible._

I went back to the living room and retrieved the phone book that was kept in a drawer. I started looking at moving companies, after circling a couple I started making my phone calls.

"_Seattle Movers, this is Kim may I help you?" _A sweet voice came on the line.

"Yes, I was wondering what your rates were?"

"_Where you planning on renting a truck yourself or hiring movers?"_

"Movers, I'm six months pregnant so there isn't much I can do on my own."

"_Ok." _I could hear her rapidly taping computer keys. _"Two movers for five hours is $380, do you think it would take longer then that?" _She questioned.

"I'm not sure, I'm currently in a hotel room, all my things are in storage. It may not even take them that long."

"_What we can do is a by the hour, which is $30 per mover plus $50 an hour for the truck."_

"When's the soonest they can be here?" I wasn't in the mood to shop for better prices, I just wanted out of this hotel.

"_The earliest would be..." _She tapped more keys. _"Actually I have a crew available tomorrow unless that's too early."_

"I take it. What time?"

"_10 AM sound ok?"_

"Sounds perfect, if they want to meet me at the storage facility that would be great." I added.

"_What facility is it?" _She wondered.

I gave her the information she needed along with the unit's letter and number.

"_I just about have everything, I just need a name and phone number we can reach you at."_

"Alice Ha-" I cut myself off and my mouth hung up in horror.

"_I'm sorry ma'am I didn't catch the last name." _She waited for me to respond but I was still frozen in terror. _"Ma'am are you still there?" _She asked.

"I'm sorry, it's Cullen." I gave her my number and waited for her to stop typing.

"_Ok, we will see you at your unit at 10 AM tomorrow Mrs. Cullen."_

"Actually it's just Miss, I'm not married." I corrected her.

"_Sorry about that. So we'll see you tomorrow then. Thank you for calling Seattle Movers." _

I hung up and leaned back on the couch letting out a deep sigh.

"Finally." I said to myself, even though Jazz had only been gone a night it seemed longer and I crushed me to see his side of the bed empty.

_I'll move into the house and it'll go back to the way it was before...just me and the baby._

The way it should have been to begin with.

I was pulled out of my train of thought by the rapping on my door.

"Room service." A voice called.

I opened the door and a moved to make way for the cart to come in.

"Hello, Mrs. Hale, how are you today?" He wondered as he pushed the cart into the dining area to set it up.

"I'd complain but I'm sure you don't want to hear it Jared." I replied reading his name-tag as I went to get my purse.

He chuckled. "You'd be amazed at what some people tell me." He moved the last of the items from the cart to the table then turned to me.

"Hear some strange things do you?" I asked handing him his tip. "What's the most bizarre thing anyone has told you?"

"I would have to say it was about three years ago, I'd just started working here and I was delivering a meal for this old wealthy couple. When I asked the wife how she was doing-you know I could get in trouble for telling you this." He stopped the story.

"What makes you say that?" I had asked after all.

"It may offend you and no offense but I really need this job."

I had an idea as to what he was talking about. "Jared, I grew up with all brothers very little offends me." I assured him. "Please continue."

"Well she replied that she the sex she and her husband just had sucked since he forgot to pack his Viagra. It was the biggest over-share of my life-plus I've always found it hard to imagine old people having sex, smelling like Aspercream." It seemed he had forgotten he was talking to me and not someone he really knew. "I'm sorry, I tend to get carried away sometimes."

"Hey, I _did _ask." I turned to open and hold the door for him.

"Well thank you for the tip Mrs. Hale." He held up the folded bills before putting it in his jacket pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually this is my last night here, I move into my new house this weekend." I told him.

"Oh, in that case, it was a pleasure having you stay with us-and please tell that to Mr. Hale."

"I will." Tears started threatening to fall but I held them back.

"Have a nice night." He said before departing.

_Like it would even be possible._

"Thanks, you too." I replied.

When the door closed I closed my eyes and the tears fell like rain. I collapsed on the floor and continued sobbing making my breathing hitched. To myself I sounded like a three-year-old and if it had been a cheap hotel the neighbors would have been able to hear me I was so loud.

I laid on my side on the floor with one arm under my head and the other cradling my bump. "God Jazz, I'm so sorry." I cried and the tears kept coming. They went on until I finally cried myself to sleep...and went to a place where I always saw his face...only now it haunting me.


End file.
